Is Tease & Denial an Important Part of Chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by rebeccacd404, Mar 24, 2018.

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  1. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

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    I am just sharing a thought here, how important is tease and denial to chastity play?
    I am getting a little indifferent to having an orgasm......something my Mistress has been developing, but I was just thinking aloud to myself.....if I am not bothered about having an orgasm then what is the point of chastity? And does this diminish the power of the Mistress?
    I am due to have an orgasm, if she allows it.....and if I can.....a week on Monday....but I'm not sure I really want one!
    So I was just wondering what your thoughts on the subject are?
    I thought I was desperate to have one.......but as the date gets ever closer I don't know.....there have been so many positive improvements to my life since I have been unable to have an orgasm......
    But then again it's easy to talk like this with a tightly locked cage keeping my ikle cocklette in check!
     
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  2. Sub76
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    Sub76 Member

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    For me, it is a love/hate kind of thing concerning getting to orgasm. On the one had, it totally feels great and I want to have it. On the other hand, that nice feeling of submission and sexual tension gets lost and I for one need quite some time to build that up again. So when we play, a part of me always hopes to get an orgasm and the other part hopes not, if that makes any sense.

    Concerning T&D: T&D for me is a huge part of chastity. Just being locked up and then nothing sexual at all is a big turn off for me. It's a bit like you said, if there is nothing sexual happening anyways, what's the point of chastity. I know that this is a bit self-centered, that maybe for her the point is to make sure there really is nothing sexual happening ;-) But for me, teasing is important. And teasing does not need to include unlocking the cock and playing with it. It's also a huge tease to pleasure her, or being make to watch when she is pleasuring herself. Or just some sexy and clever remark of her concerning our dynamic, or chastity, or the like.

    This is something we are working on, in this chastity stind. My GF normally is very ok with "nothing sexual at all" in between our "sessions" and sometimes it is quite ok for her to go weeks without sex or orgasms. This is when it becomes really hard for me, since I have a much higher drive for sex (not having orgasms doesn't help there) and would like her to be more active in that field.
     
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  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    well sometimes i dont really want one but i dont have a orgsasm cos im just milked. and i have one of them every 4 weeks.
     
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  4. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

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    Thanks for your point of view, I am relatively new to this lifestyle and I have so much to learn....
     
  5. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

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    So you get milked every 4 weeks? Do you feel arousal in between or does the milking suppress your arousal?
     
  6. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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  7. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    yes it does a bit.
     
  8. madams-sissysub
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    madams-sissysub Junior Member

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    i think tease and denial is very important in chastity, in fact it in one of madams favourite aspects of it, it keeps the sexual tension going and pushes you to please and serve better. i find it makes you more submissive, and shows you is in control and in command of you, all of our tease and denial is done while i am still locked up so not just denied orgasam, but even denied a erection, if i am allowed to remove my cage then it normally would be for a edging session. Madam adores to see me suffer and in pain, and there are so many aspects to tease and denial play that it offers so many opitunitys as you can combine it with other things. for example i have a fetishs for latex, pvc, lycra, and Madam will wear a pair of her lycra leggings and get me to massage her legs, she knows i carnt keeps my hands off her and will be getting so aroused, that i am fighting agaist my cage and the points of intruge will be biting in, and will say i bet you wolud love me to unlock you, but she never will.
    just my thoughts and this topic, thanks to all who have posted.
     
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  9. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    it depends on the specific dynamic of the relationship.

    I mentioned on a different thread, some chastity-based relationships are based on a sexual element, and others are based on a non-sexual element. In other words, some enhance the sexual element of their relationshipy through chastity, and for them I imagine tease and denial is integral. For others, chastity is there to remove the sexual aspect entirely. And for them T&D would obviously be counter-productive.

    So it depends what you're looking for in your relationship
     
  10. locked8452
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    locked8452 Member

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    As someone relatively new to chastity with a keyholder, I’ll weigh in.

    Regarding tease and denial; I find that frequent teasing, in the form of almost anything that relates to our relationship as keyholder/lockee is a critical part of chastity. Because teasing for us doesn't need to take the form of unlocking and playing with my penis, it's broadened and enriched our sex lives dramatically. Sex has become a lot more fun for both of us.

    Regarding orgasms; prior to chastity other than by masturbation, mine were becoming less frequent over time. As I aged, ED meds were required to achieve a good quality erection and it was hit or miss without them. The lag time between taking a pill and the desired effect killed spontaneity; and the uncertainty of my achieving an erection without them made Princess feel inadequate.

    Counter-intuitively, at this point, we seem to be having as much PIV sex as we did prior to chastity. Princess has always liked to be penetrated and isn't particularly fond of toys. Although she's said that she is now having an orgasm “almost all the time” when I fondle or go down on her (which is pretty much nightly) she still wants PIV. For me, denial of masturbatory orgasms, which always felt somewhat hollow, has made attention to Princess a higher priority for me and I find that the increase in intimacy more than outweighs being unable to masturbate.
     
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  11. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    Very important as I rarely have a releae but for me the teasing is so much better than an orgasm
     
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  12. EdgednDenied
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    EdgednDenied Member

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    My gf won't put me in chastiy unless She's edged me to near breaking point. It's all part of it. If you're teased and denied at the very beginning, you'll be already craving the next edge and therefore ready to serve her in any way. She loves teasing and edging it. She understands the more its teased the more obedient i become, over the days and weeks. She likes to play and I'll do anything for her.
     
  13. Andylocked
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    Andylocked Member

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    As a hot blooded male who has a sexual appetite... I am being caged as a sign of commitment to my wife. Apart from the fact that it IS a kink in my mind, I do also know how much more attentive and helpful and loving, etc, it makes me.. it is extremely psychological but I cannot keep my hands off my wife when locked. However, the dark side of this is that I haven’t been the best husband over the years so as much as I want my wife to be mean to me and frustrate me beyond words as some sort of weird flagellation (in my eyes) to seek some sort of redemption for being a crap husband, I do seriously hope that my wife will also get off on the tease and denial side of this journey... if she doesn’t, then I’m not sure if my own idea of letting my wife control me will be as good an idea as I first hoped... keeping everything crossed - cage arriving in 10 days.... and I’m making myself nervous!!!
     
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  14. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    Hmm! The whole point of T&D is to reset the failing need for an O (the tease) and when need and excitement return and hit just left of crescendo, STOP! (the denial). It's all part of female power play. Plus is so funny seeing the look on his face. Oh, if you hadn't guessed, I really am a bitch:rolleyes:
     
  15. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    Spot on as if my wife has been overworked and stressed from her job and we do not make time for any intimacy then life (my behaviour) returns to normal! She does know and will out of the blue just put her had 'there' and tickle me and I am putty in her hands!
     
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  16. paulss1957
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    paulss1957 Happy in a 24/7 D/s marriage with Kasaru

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    The tease is as important as the denial. We've had a rough year and a half and we've maintained the dynamic, I still wear my cage when away from Mistress but we got into a habit of Her giving me an orgasm once a week. We had a good chat about this as She wants to take back more control so no more full orgasms until She allows. But the teasing is to be ramped up to make me more desperate.
     
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  17. Sissycaitlin77
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    Sissycaitlin77 Active member

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    for myself it's a huge part of chastity to me. the teasing alone is one of the best aspects for me since it keeps me submissive to the person I'm serving or with then. plus the weekly or daily edges you sometime get are awesome reminder your for there pleasure not yours. it's for there entertainment and pleasure to laugh and get themselves off properly. so yes I feel tease and denial a huge part. I loved/ hated it when my mistress would suck or blow on my cage then she promise me a release but purposely denied/ teased me until I was a out to pop a cummie off. then would ice me back down and lock me away so constant mind games but she was fair and understood my needs aswell so if you both understand each needs and desires it will do wonders for you. plus in my relationship we still did vanilla sex and etc this just umm I say four play to and extent to help our sex lives also.
     
  18. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Tease and denial have been integral components of our relationship at large; those dynamics applied quite nicely to chastity when I brought it into our lives.

    It's something I find deliciously addictive and one of the most satisfying elements in our sexual lifestyle. It's a great base for everything else.
     
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  19. EdgednDenied
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    EdgednDenied Member

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    The other reason it's so important is because if you neglect his penis it just calms down. Like when people stop having sex all together. You have to look at it like this. Imagine a slightly full bottle of fizzy water. You give it a shake, fill it up a bit more, give it a shake, fill it up a bit more, keep doing this but finish with a shake and put the lid back on. The bottle will want to pop and spill. Next day you do the same, and the next and so on. The bottle will now be full and straining to burst but it cant because you'v put the lid on, so it starts seeping out where it needs to be emptied. Instead, the next day you do exactly the same but keep putting the lid back on. The fizzy water has nowhere to go so just keeps on backing itself up. This is what happens when you repeatedly edge your man's penis. It keeps it on the point of ultimate arousal and frustration.
     
  20. masohedo
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    masohedo Member

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    Teasing,teasing,.....endless teasing and deliciously cruel denial is what keeps the fire burning!,
     
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  21. skD
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    skD HausCuck

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    My sentiments exactly! Well said.
     
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  22. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    The Tease and Denial can be Very important or not that important at all. It all depends on the person and his sexually appetite and their relationship.

    Also the need changes as your relationship with chastity grows. Teasing was a lot more important to me a few years ago than it is now. I've become more use to just small gestures or even the words she says to me to get me stimulated. Just a touch or a word can make me wet so physical teasing isn't required as much as it use to be.

    A lot also depends on what keeps you motivated to continue to serve your Mistress and that can be majorly different from person to person.
     
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  23. paulss1957
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    paulss1957 Happy in a 24/7 D/s marriage with Kasaru

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    Just to update this, our dynamic is back with a vengeance. More teasing, only ruined orgasms but even those are getting rarer. Also Her use of various paddles and straps on my rear are now a daily event, part of our morning ritual.

    The dynamic also means She is chatting with other guys on Fet and becoming increasingly horny!
     
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  24. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Member

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    Also a rookie to MC and have been locked for October. I have had lots of T&D so far, many right to the edge. My Wife is now finding how far to tease me, then...Stop. This month, she has asked me 3-4 times if I wanted a orgasm, and for some reason I have said no each time. Not sure why, because at the start of each session, I'm begging to cum. Humping the air, or anything I can rub against. At first she would take my cage off, but now it is with the cage on only. She enjoys seeing me humping the air or her butt. She now tells me to snuggle up to her butt and laughs will I try to get off. She just falls asleep and leaves me hanging. The not knowing when the next T&D will be is a big head game for me. It keeps me wanting to be the best I can be towards my Wife. The T&D is real for me. And my Wife loves it...
     
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  25. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Active member

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    As long as I get to please her with my mouth, it’s not that important that my penis gets stimulated. I usually don’t even get hard in my cage when pleasing her and it needs a little manual stimulation after the cage is removed to get going.
     
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