Is tease and denial the right message to be giving out?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by L-u-c-y, Nov 27, 2016.

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  1. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    No one ever listens!
     
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  2. Keuschling
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    Keuschling Active member

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    Hi together,

    I followed with some enthusiasm the course of this thread. And it was absolutely informative for me, except the downgrading and sometimes disgrateful parts of it - though they might also have been necessary to fuel the further discussion, bringing up some interesting points about D/s relationships and the (mis-)understanding of the term "service" or even how to make that a "business".

    However, first to the original question, if T&D would have to be expected for a locked male, as I understood it at first. And from my experience so far, as well as my current situation and understanding of male chastity now, I say: Absolutely not! It was different during my evolvement though, and I have gone through many phases during my time when I experienced and experimented with chastity, when I was single and many times craved for T&D when locked, just to get acknowledged, thrilled or sometimes as foreplay for a JO session afterwards on my own. Now, I have a very strong and loving wife that I also love very much, and quite recently, she also took some interest in my chastizement. But I would not dare to have any obligations whatsoever regarding to it for her, nor for her to provide a "service" to fulfill my fantasies about it. I still manage it on my own so far, for her, my and our benefit. This is not easy, I do not want to lock for not being available for her, but we have lived in a long-distance relationship for long. She really is the center of my attention, even without her being a dom for me or me in chastity 24/7 - for me, it comes just naturally, as I really do respect her to the fullest. However, tbh, I also have times when I fail to do so, especially when away from her for longer periods. I am human, like her, but not super-human, also just like her. And both of us would not want it any other way.

    But the main point is: We love each other furiously. Would I want her to service me in any way? Absolutely not - she just provides what she wants to give, just like me, or to take some from me which I happily provide; and on both sides, this is more than anyone of us would in any way expect. And my chastity plays a minor role thereby, mostly managed by me on my own, to not endanger this relationship, which is most important for me. You see, I had a past, and got and still sometimes get carried away by mostly virtual fantasies not involving her - online porn is just so tempting, and I still struggle to keep away from it. I still enjoy "to be naughty" without her sometimes, however regret this afterwards, although without guilt, but with the feeling that any sex with her is just absolutely more meaningful, intense and enjoyable.

    Now speaking of "Mistress" Lucy. She surely fuels the fantasy of many males and takes some enjoyment from it. And I have respect for her, as I have for all human beings and all creatures. However, the "fight" she took up here about a minor question of her, answered above from my perspective, taken up by many opponents to question her personality, status and maybe even possible financial profit, and also her hoisting to the status of moderator now, makes me actually feel sad about her, even making me feel deep sorrow for her. Many years ago, I would have cherished her, even stating she was a true mistress, maybe even goddess - as I was single then, trying to take everything up to fuel my desires and fetish-fantasies. And I assume, most of her "clients" might be the same as me back then, fueled by inspiration they got from virtual fantasies, which she fulfills - as otherwise, they would not follow her, even if that is no "service" of her by her words - although it might be a self-service for her, which I will explain, but not for her benefit imo.

    So what does all this make out of Lucy, what is she really craving for, what is she fearing, what does she really desire for her own fulfillment in her life? And why is it that she defends herself so brilliantly and sometimes even furiously for her way and lifestyle? Is it fear to lose her own virtual reality which she built around her, including stunning pics and vids, but thereby unable to make real-life experiences? And does this stable of locked males and this recent status as moderator of CM really satisfies her, or does it at the very end just leave her hungry and unfulfilled? I really do see a very uncertain and craving but thereby very powerful and well-fortified young woman under this cover of "Mistress Lucy" - although with a very good heart and honest attitude. I doubt that she can ever "teach" males to really behave respectfully to every woman, although this would be great imo, if any male would behave respectful to women, but also other males and all creatures. This would really make the world a most beautiful place to live, just enjoying the adventure of real life!

    I have not read about that Lucy is engaged in any real-life relationship. It's fine, since she is not obliged to tell everything about her real life. However, from her activity here and what she tells about her online-endeavors, I doubt she has a real-life partner yet - but striving for attention to get one, but not via CM or her stable of males she controls. I really wish her most luck, and the best of it, experiencing the true love of a real partner by her side, really supporting and deeply loving her. However, it also might just be that her current boyfriend takes all the pics and vids, and both of them just laughing their asses off to males who seek true chastity or more, which I do not know but doubt due to the fact that a real loving relationship would not leave the time for Lucy to be here so frequently and without major financial benefit from it like a pro-dom which she surely is not from my perspective and which I explained above, again from my perspective, from what I read of her at least.

    Again, T&D should not be expected by any chastized male, and if received, taken as a very precious but unexpected gift by a very loving and caring partner who is also fascinated by the chastizement of males and thus taking his or her own advantage of it, be it online or preferably real-life.

    Enjoy life, folks - regardless if chaste or not!

    Chaste regards,
    Keuschling
     
  3. L-u-c-y
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    What is this bizarre fascination with every aspect of my life? I'm not a public figure, none of your hard earned wages or taxes go to me.
     
  4. sissybitch
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    sissybitch Long term member

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    I have just been reading this thread from the start and have found it very interesting . Firstly lets put aside all the upsets in it and for a moment go back to the original question , my take on that is I don't think it is right or wrong , different people will have different views on chastity and how it should work , what may seem right to one will be wrong to another . Most people on this site like it to include an element of tease and denial and or some form of sexual activity , However @Mistress Lucy has a different view and prefers it not to include any sort of sex or tease and denial at all and I am sure she is not alone . this is not wrong just different to most . I think that the males who are locked by her take their reward in the form of simply being locked and being able to serve in a none sexual way whatever that may be . I personally knew someone in this situation and he told me it was not a sexual thing by any means just an extension of his mistresses control and if any sexual act wear to come into it he would have ended their agreement . This type of chastity though not for everyone does happen and is more to do with pure submission and control than anything else . having said that the type of chastity most of us on this site enjoy and submit to is not wrong either just again in a different form . so my final answer to the question is chastity in whatever form or how it is executed is what the KH and the chaste want it to be and want to take from it . we are all different
     
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  5. Keuschling
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    Keuschling Active member

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    Dear Lucy,

    well, the real question is: What is your fascination of your own life? I do not know if you know that for yourself, but doubt it - however, I really wish you to find out for yourself very soon. And even if you feel to oppose my view, I think you better think twice - for the better of you, as I have no benefit from your further development.

    With my post, which convered your original question, I just wanted to help you for yourself. But as I see, it goes very much beyond it and thereby is not bizarre at all - otherwise you would not have responded to it in such way. And I sense thereby that you yourself are desperate of your own situation, actually wanting it to change, but too scared to really do anything about it, but just continuing your way as is just too comfortable, even if not satisfying for you. But I also think, at your age this might be very understandable, however not unchangeable if you really want.

    So read my recent post carefully - it will not destroy or even harm you, but maybe your own fantasy-world could crash for the better. Just as I also had to be warned some time ago, which as a result crashed my own fantasy-world for the better. I really meant my post to help you to develop for your real personal benefit - but if you cannot accept it, just bitch around like you want and ignore it, it does not matter, for me at least, though I do not find any pleasure from that nor do I seek such. I just felt obliged due to my own experience to help you, as the good-hearted female I sensed in you. But maybe I am wrong about that, I just do not know.

    You maybe not a public figure - but what the hell would mean just that if you were. It is not of any importance, even if you were. You are you, and this you should take serious. Just as money does not make any human happy or in any way really important. Love for sure does, and you know it, just like me - you may have never experienced it yet, but I have. You have not to reveal anything of your love, as I will also not. But again: Real love is the biggest thing any human being can ever experience - and I as said wish you all luck and success for finding true love and therein wonderful intimicy.

    I do not say that you should disregard your experience you collected yet. It is valuable for sure. But use it carefully and to the enjoyment of you and your potential future real-life partner.

    Chaste regards,
    Keuschling

    PS.: My points regarding T&D for chaste males in my post above still stand as my real opinion about it.
     
  6. L-u-c-y
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  7. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    @Jasmic68 , I hope you don't leave, I enjoy reading your posts, but I think you're 180 degrees wrong about @Mistress Lucy being 'divisive'. From where I'm standing she is the most inclusive person I know. Everyone gravitates to her it seems. Everyone wants to tell her something about herself (even if it's just to let her know they can't find an ignore switch). Maybe just relax and let @Mistress Lucy get acquainted with being a Moderator, she's only had a week's experience so far ... and doing pretty good I'd say. I really do get the vibe that she is trying to include everybody in the debate, which doesn't mean we all have to agree with each other. It's a discussion and a debate for christsake. There is meant to be difference, it's what keeps the world from getting hopelessly homogenised.
     
  8. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    Jasmic you are not to leave.
    You're being silly. And besides there are much more divisive moderators than Lucy.
    They are just not so outspoken.
     
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  9. maid_carrie
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    Enough - thread locked pending Mod discussion.

    As @jasmic said, it's a pity this was purposely resurrected and advice from some members to leave it was ignored.
     
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  10. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    What is a true pitty , is the ever ongoing attacks on members and mods in here. It seems to some - that once you loose connection to the real life outside of CM , You are making CM issues blow totally out of proportion. What a sad life indeed. I never took over CM, and paid for it for two years now, spending like 5000 British Pounds on it so far all together, to see membes and moderators doing their best to destroy it all with wicked attacks, and speculations. ( Oh yes, I do manage to read between the lines too, even though I'm just a no-good Dane...).

    CM is beyond the single user, the single mod- the single admin. CM has greater purpose than serving as a platform for smear and outbursts of frustration - in unpleasant forms- like attacks and badmouthing. CM has- even in the storms that has raged from time to time - survived comfortably - and so it will in the future. We have only grown and grown again....
    So You spoilers, You can just forget it! You are not significant enough to bring the house down. Sorry;-)
    And The House will still be standing ,- if You are no longer around...
    Soem will be missed by others, but it will only last shortly... It is That hollow...;-)

    Please, be useful to the community and find other ways of of ventilating your frustrations , - frustrations that must likely origins from your "real life" or from your own struggle with the lifestyle.

    Lucy has been appointed Moderator, because she unlike some others - are bringing forward very interesting ideas to develop CM further. Not for her own benefit, but for the benefit of us all. That is the kind of dedication I would like to see!
    OF course You are not aware of these qualities of hers, but are oh so occupied with your accusations and speculations.

    Shame on You , nevertheless!
     
  11. Jens
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    @Keuschling - I would prefer NOT to see any more public attacks ( disguised as a helping hand and genuine concern) on Lucy. I have appointed Lucy as mod for qualities that you seem incapable of seeing. Your attacks on her character are unfounded, and I ask You to Silence when it comes to Lucy. If not I have ways to deal with that. Enjoy Your stay at CM, and please stop giving lectures to anybody but yourself.
     
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