Is One Allowed to Ask for Release?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Ana's Slave, Jun 24, 2011.

Random Thread
  1. Ana's Slave
    Offline

    Ana's Slave New member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    8:56 PM
    Okay. This is something for discussion here. Hello by the way.

    Now, in a Female Led Relationship, the male is expected to not masturbate and wait for the Female.

    This is my recent confusion: I always thought it was not allowed for the male to hint, suggest, and ask for sexual release. For example, the male shouldn't say things like 'I'm horny', 'I miss fucking you', 'my balls are full', etc. I always thought these were punishable offences.

    I always thought the whole point of FLR was that the Female decides when She is horny and how She wants to cum - mostly being oral and everything else before intercourse. The male is not allowed to ask about intercourse, as this is not part of his submission to Her pleasures.

    I also thought that, when eventually told to start fucking, the male had to wait for her instructions to cum, because a lot of the time the Female, after being satisfied, should just roll over and fall asleep, not feeling any guilt for leaving the male horny and blue-balled. And, the male being even more horny by not being able to ask/beg/hint about intercourse and then ask/beg/hint/inform about cumming.

    However, it seems a lot of websites promote begging and asking permission to cum. So, this has really blown me. What is it? You can let the Female know that you would like release? Or is it forbidden in general?

    EDIT: I am talking about FLR without the use of chastity-belts.

    Also, I am wanting to know what the general way a strict Female would go about things. All is just a generalisation. Or, you may even say what you think is the best and why...
     
    MyDB likes this.
  2. SirBottom
    Offline

    SirBottom Naga di Kandang

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2011
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    7:56 AM
    Ana's Slave,

    Hello!

    I would say first that there is no "in general." Every FLR relationship is unique, just as every male-dom relationship is, and just as every vanilla one is. Some have guides along the lines of what you describe as what you thought, many do not. It's up to the individuals in the relationship to establish these things.

    SB
     
  3. Manteos Boy
    Offline

    Manteos Boy Slave to Mistress Manteo

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2010
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Local Time:
    7:56 AM
    I agree. It's not like there is a single rule book that all FLRs must conform to. Different people do things differently.

    That being said, my wife does not have a rule against ASKING for a release, but I realize that if I do ask, it's not going to happen anyway, so I generally don't. I will from time to time jokingly hint at it or ask, but only when she's feeling playful about it. She will usually just laugh and say "yeah right" or something sarcastic like that. She also has chosen to use a chastity device as well, so it certainly helps for her to enforce her wishes.

    The simple fact is that I go through about 3 days of "rebound" time, immediately following an orgasm where my mental focus on her and her wishes suffers. I am much more attentive and obedient when I've been denied for a while. She of course knows this and doesn't allow orgasms often. My norm lately has been about every 2 months.

    She does enjoy oral pleasure often, but I also have come to the realization that if her Hitachi Magic Wand could cook, clean and bring home a paycheck, I could be replaced. LOL! She loves that thing. We have intercourse often as well, but I must always stop short of orgasm. I'm usually allowed close 3 or 4 times then it's right back into lockup.
     
  4. missmaddy
    Offline

    missmaddy Mistress & Keyholder

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2011
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kinky Wife & Mother
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Chicago
    Local Time:
    6:56 AM
     
    mrfelix likes this.
  5. starflyer
    Offline

    starflyer Junior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    1,942
    Likes Received:
    1,810
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    12:56 PM
    I think it's up to the female to set the ground rules and for us submissive men to follow what ever our females require of us.
     
  6. Pet
    Offline

    Pet New member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    12:56 PM
    Ana's Slave, I take it by release you mean ejaculate?

    As SirBottom and Manteos Boy say, there is no 'Golden Standard' - it might be that your Female Dominant gets a kick out of your begging (and mostly saying no), or the view she takes is that you don't have needs at all, only rewards she chooses to dispense and begging 'loses points' in some way. It is really up to her. I'd suggest discussing it and then doing exactly as she describes you are to behave as a result of that discussion.

    Release from a device in the event of a problem is another thing entirely. Having pre-permitted emergency access to a release key is a sensible thing to arrange.
     
  7. Ana's Slave
    Offline

    Ana's Slave New member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    8:56 PM

    Yes, I meant ejaculate.

    I am having to go for the no chastity belt route, since my CB-3000 doesn't even seem to want to stay on ie. always slipping down and hanging by the ol' testicles leaving the penis unsheathed. Not exactly what I was hoping for when I bought it... [​IMG] So frustrated and disappointed with it

     
  8. Ana's Slave
    Offline

    Ana's Slave New member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    8:56 PM
    Also, just to add some scope as to why I ask this question:

    If I ask for release and the answer is no, I usually manage to beg and convince my mistress to go through with it in the end and let me cum. I don't do it on purpose, but, usually, in the heat of the moment, I make her feel sorry for me. He he he!

    But, that's why I was thinking if we should just make the ground rules that I cannot even ask, because I am too good at convincing and make her feel guilty... [​IMG]

    Or, should it be if the answer is 'no' I should just accept it, since the orgasm denial is both of our fetishes anyway? I think this is probably best.

    It's just that, if I beg and beg and plead, I usually get my own way on the cumming issue. Maybe somebody has a suggestion for my mistress to stop me from begging to the point that I win? Because, we both regret it after I have cum and would rather me have to go to sleep with blue-balls.
     
  9. jerry locked
    Offline

    jerry locked Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2010
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    7:56 AM
    Have you tried the Points of Intrigue (POI)? The smallest set should be able to keep you from slipping out.

    [quote name='Ana's Slave' timestamp='1309174184' post='64406']
    Yes, I meant ejaculate.

    I am having to go for the no chastity belt route, since my CB-3000 doesn't even seem to want to stay on ie. always slipping down and hanging by the ol' testicles leaving the penis unsheathed. Not exactly what I was hoping for when I bought it... [​IMG] So frustrated and disappointed with it


    [/quote]
     
  10. Ana's Slave
    Offline

    Ana's Slave New member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    8:56 PM
    I live in a hot and humid country, which just means people sweat as part of everyday life. This is one of my theories as to my problem. I have tried ALL spacers and the tightest ring I can put on without causing extreme pain is number 3.

    As it is always hot here, my balls just hang down to the maximum level. So, the sweat and the low hanging balls just means that the entire cage falls down and hangs of my balls constantly, leaving my penis out of the cage. This is really not what I was expecting from the CB-3000. I was hoping for at least a bit of a challenge.

    Instead, I'm just left with something I can't even keep ON.

    So frustrating!

    Do I have to go all the way to buy POI? KSD-G2/3? If so, which?

    I'd prefer it that I don't need one, but perhaps I do...

    Also, I am a REAL grower... As in from really out-growing the cage to barely reaching the cage...



    So, do you think POI is the real solution? Or, a KSD? Because this would make me a lot happier with my chaste life. I really don't want to start wrapping things around my torso. I love the idea of the cage type as it's so discreet.
     
  11. sandman9355
    Offline

    sandman9355 Junior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2008
    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    334
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    1:56 PM
    My own view on this matter is that most people are better off with not having any rules set in stone. It would be probably good to come to some mutual understanding, and to agree on the frequency of your orgasms you both would be comfortable with, but I don't think you should be forbidden to ask.

    A breakdown of communication, even if it should be an intentional one, is not something entirely safe for a relationship. I'd recommend improving your wife's ability to say "no" instead. There's little point in pretending you have no needs. It is OK to admit them. But you don't have to act on all your desires. You both have to get used to the fact that fulfilling your desire to be denied means your desire for orgasms will be fulfilled less often.

    You both are probably still learning your responses to this kind of play. You are still discovering what works for you, and what doesn't, and what's OK with you, and what is too much. So *learn* about yourselves. Your wife has to deal with the fact that in order to make you happy she has to *refuse* to make you happy, if you get my drift. And you too have to deal with a lot of issues that come with T&D. So talk to each other, and search for what makes you both happy.
     
  12. Shimone
    Offline

    Shimone Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2011
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    262
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    management consultant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Singapore
    Local Time:
    1:56 PM
    We have a somewhat vague agreement on at this point. Of course it's allowed to 'ask for release' as you in some way must have a way to express your needs or wishes (and as sandman already said it's essential for a realationship to work that needs of both parts are met), but anything considderd, begging pushing or toping from the bottom is to be punished. And that's the part that makes the simplest discussion intriguing as what's consiiderd pushing tc. is completely up to her and the decission not open to discussion.
    Somehow this works for us
     
  13. Notre Domme
    Offline

    Notre Domme Junior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2009
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Local Time:
    12:56 PM
    Asking is begging and punishable by me.



    The slave can ask for cleaning and?or inspection to make certain nothing is wrong or to wash and shave.

    As MY PENIS it stays locked up until I need it for any [urpose I deem.



    As for cumming well how about a 25 Judicial immediately after you cum ?

    And be carefull asking is begging. You will be told when you may cum if I so wish
     
  14. hollymarie
    Offline

    hollymarie Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    7:56 AM
    he can ask, but the choice is not up to him and if he's just asking to try and gratify a sexual need, I usually add days to his lock up.
     
  15. Mistress M
    Offline

    Mistress M Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2011
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    40
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    3:56 PM
    It is ok to beg, if I have not specially told him not to beg. It can be quite amusing, too. Especially the part when I laugh at him and tell he cannot. Or just tell that he can and take my promise back just before his release.

    Something I really enjoy is when he tries to figure out which mood I am in and to adjust his behaviour to that. If I'm in a good mood and he behaves really good, I might just be nice and give permission. It is not begging with words, but by behaviour. This can easily be too obvious and the result be not what he desires. It is kind of a game of good behaviour and being a good servant and a pet. This obviously makes his brain work extra hard and him extra horny. And whatever the result is for him, I get my share of the good times:) Sorry if this was too OT.
     
  16. knickerless
    Offline

    knickerless New member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Local Time:
    12:56 PM
    [quote name='Ana's Slave' timestamp='1309174184' post='64406']
    Yes, I meant ejaculate.

    I am having to go for the no chastity belt route, since my CB-3000 doesn't even seem to want to stay on ie. always slipping down and hanging by the ol' testicles leaving the penis unsheathed. Not exactly what I was hoping for when I bought it... [​IMG] So frustrated and disappointed with it
    [/quote]

    I am allowed to ask permission to masturbate by my Mistress when ever I wish.
    But I never have, although there are times when I have almost cracked.

    I too do not wear a chastity device, for one I can't as my wife is unaware of my relationship.
    But also for me, remaining chaste for my Mistress is a sign of my love for Her. She loves to watch me come, and to have an orgasm when not in Her presence seems selfish.

    I know that some owners love to hear there slave beg for release.
    And I guess this is something I ought to ask my Mistress about, as I may be denying her a great pleasure by not begging, but for me, my chastity is a chance to serve her for the long months we are apart.

    But as many people have previously posted there are no set rules for this. We each have different needs, and and have to find a way to make our own relationships work.

    Good luck in yours.

    Regards

    Knickerless
     
  17. peter7447
    Offline

    peter7447 Masochistic Husband

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Germany
    Local Time:
    1:56 PM
    I would think that begging is ok, when it contributes to amusing your Mistress. I think begging is bad, when it annoys your Mistress.

    Good thing is ... you can simply ask your Mistress for her wishes. Not only, when it comes to begging, but maybe you could always do it according to her wishes (totally crazy, new concept). ;-)
     
  18. sissyjazmine
    Offline

    sissyjazmine sissyjazmine

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2009
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    7:56 AM
    you can ask. i do, but it doesn't mean you'll be let out or allowed to cum.
     
  19. Red_Flag_Sam
    Offline

    Red_Flag_Sam Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    12:56 PM
    Whilst every relationship is different, I understand that generally, if a slave asks Mistress for release she will decide to keep him locked up for longer. Depends on Mistress really... you can always risk it I guess!
     
  20. kinkywife
    Offline

    kinkywife Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2011
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    12:56 PM
    Personally I love it when hubby is so horny that he's begging for release. Of course I can always ask him to stop begging, but it's good to know just how frustrated he is ;)
     
  21. Divine Mistress Angelique
    Offline

    Divine Mistress Angelique Divine Mistress Angelique

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    261
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Professional Dominatrix
    Local Time:
    4:56 AM
    .

    In our particular relationship, jamie is not allowed to ask, beg, hint or otherwise suggest he would like to have an orgasm. His orgasms are solely or my amusement, and the entertainment of my friends and lovers. His desire and needs are irrelevant; my whims, desires and needs are the sole factors of determining when and how he will be allowed to orgasm. It is assumed that he is always “ripe” and ready, or I am not doing my job properly. The presence or lack of an erection tell me everything I need to know.


    While screaming is encouraged during punishment sessions because it enhances the experience for both of us—and often can’t be helped—it is ignored in terms of minimizing the severity of the session. Begging on the other hand is unseemly. To my mind it defeats the purpose of the dominant. I am in charge or I’m not, there is no middle road. In our relationship begging is a guarantee that mercy will not be accorded, even if it was my wish to do so, because then it would seem as if the sub had some sort of power over me.


    That being said I have learned from these forums that there are as many shades of submissive relationships as there are submissives and dominants. Everyone approaches submission and domination and cuckolding differently. Everyone has a different definition of pain and pleasure and masochism.


    Ultimately, if you wish to be a true submissive, only your Mistress can answer your question, and your Mistress’s answer should be the only answer you serve. Your begging and pleading may bring great joy and delight to her, or it may disgust her. You can ask her outright what she wishes, or you may try different behaviors and see which ones are punished or rewarded.

    .
     
  22. Kozation
    Offline

    Kozation Her Property

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2011
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Writer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    7:56 AM
    I would never ask, let alone beg, to be permitted an orgasm. I love that my owner controls me unconditionally! :party-051:
     
  23. Lara_70
    Offline

    Lara_70 New member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2011
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    11:56 PM
    I quite like my husband begging too, upto a point. However, once I say that I have made up my mind when he will be released, and it is not tonight, if he asks me again, he will get an extra week being locked. He knows and I know. To me the chastity game is about trust - and he should trust me with the decision. If he asks "how long now" like a whining child on a long car trip, it shows lack of trust - and the road trip just got a bit longer for him. My response is akin to "don't make me reach back there!"
     
  24. enslave.meh
    Offline

    enslave.meh Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2011
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    i own a tiny business.
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    home
    Local Time:
    6:26 PM
    I beg. I beg like crazy. My Goddess loves it. Begging makes me more horny and has a good effect on her too. I am careful though not to annoy her that could lead to a punishment. Beg her like once in 24hrs and make it so that ur life depended on it. My Goddess loves it when i beg it ususally leads to teasing and she will also let me go down on her if i beg her properly.

    That is a reward right.
     
  25. Tina in training
    Offline

    Tina in training Sissified maid, eunuch & cuckold to Mistress Angel

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2011
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Local Time:
    4:56 AM
    I no longer ask. I certainly don't beg. In my first year of cuckolding and forced chastity I learned that it is not only pointless, it is counterproductive. I never hint, display disappointment or eagerness, or show emotions of any kind. I have learned that I don't even know what I really want, much less what is good for me. All of those decisions are made by my merciful Mistress. I have never been able to satisfy her sexually. Not so much as making her panties wet, much less giving her an orgasm, and I never will be able to satisfy her. My sexual frustration, humiliation and torment seem to bring her sincere delight, so I offer them as my meager gift to her. She gives me a thousand time more than I could ever give her. She has taught me what real sexual desire is. I often fantasize about grabbing my CB 6000s and ripping it off with all my might, even if my peenie and nuts come off with it.

    But that is only in my fantasies. In real life, in Mistress's Divine Presence, everything is perfect, everything is exactly as it should be. I love you Mistress. Every thought in my mind is a reflection of you Presence in my life. I love you with every drop of blood in my body, every fiber of every muscle, every square inch of skin that longs to feel your touch, and every breathe I take that allows me to spend one more moment with you. All the years of dreaming about women's tits and pussies in high school and college is like a ripple compared to the tsunami of desire and arousal that burns in me on a daily basis just to be near you, and to please you in any way I can.

    [I will give you one small example. The very first day she made me her cuckold she assigned me the duty of being her human bidet. I balked big time. I thought it was going to be over before it even started. She explained that it wasn't that big a deal, that some servants and cuckolds have to serve as human toilet paper. She would be using toilet paper, and I would simply have to tidy up using my tongue on her vulva and anus, and then wiping her dry with a white hand towel. If there was any yellow or brown on the towel, I would of course be punished. It took me months to be able to do this without retching. But now, after learning at the feet of this Godess, after growing to love and appreciated every opportunity I have to please her, I take great joy in llicking her clean. She rarely uses toilet paper unless she is sick. I am so eager to demonstrate my devotion to her by cleaning her vulva and anus I have to hold my self in check so I can be slow and methodical, otherwise I would be lapping at her like she was a bithch in heat. She has trained my tongue to go at least an inch into her asshole and then wipe round and round the inside in a circular motion. As I tell you this I am beaming with pride, three years ago I would have been bereft with shame.]
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice