I know I’m probably over-reacting (as is my want!) but I truly feel like throwing in the towel on the lifestyle, and I never even got there. The Lori device issue feels like the final straw for me. Our measurements were EXACT, the device is built to those measurements and is wrong through something I believe is not our fault. We have to return the device and hope it sells… how long will that take? It has to be returned to a PO box number which means no signature, which means no courier service, which means no speed or security in returning the item. I know I need to write to Ms Lori, but I’m too angry at the moment to be tactful. It is blatently obvious to me that my partner cannot serve me, be submissive, become a sissy unless his cock is locked… that is his mind set, not mine. I can dominate, but I do not feel whole if I cannot fully control his orgasm. I have spent beyond a thousand pound creating the arena for this lifestyle. I have clothes I love, books I adore reading and have learned so much from, a beautiful website, the need to dominate… but where is my sissy, my pet, my submissive? Because I think my feelings of regret could ultimately destroy us I think I have no option but to try to return to vanilla. I know I will be upset for a long time when we have sex, because it will remind me of things I never had, but wanted, and was led to want, and did all I could to help make them real. I have told my partner I can no longer be responsible for his chastity dreams. If he wants this he needs to find a device he can wear 24/7 and then give me the key. Up until then I have no idea what will happen. I feel very bleak and disappointed. Tomorrow is another day, this isn’t the end of the world. I’m just upset I have spent 2 years and so much money creating this dream that never was. I’m tired.