Is my journey over?

For what it may or may not be worth to you, chastity is a long long road, we've been 24/7 Femdom for about 5 years now, chastity 24/7 about 3 years, all sounds simple huh?

Nooooooo, it's took us 15 years to get where we are today, we wasted thousands on various chastity devices along the way, we had time out (vanilla) for months along the way to.....

It'll all come right in the end if it's what you want....

Have the day off, have a drink or whatever it is your into, see how you feel in the morning....don't give up you'll get there I'm sure:bigsmile:

 

Please dont go Mistress, we all have bad days, i have been into this for years and now and then felt really guilty and almost thrown everything away, (clothes, toys, cages, thoughts as well) but then realised it is how i am and it wont change. Strive for what u believe in and it will be ok, You are lucky to have a relationship with pet that you can explore your feelings openly, i wish i could be slave to someone like you,

love chastemaid xx:sad:

 

Mistress I feel for your situation and can understand the frustration and disappointment.

When Mistress started me on the chastity road, it was with a CB3000. Despite months and months of trying I never could manage more thatn 2 or 3 days. It caused sever soars.

Finally Mistress decided to go for a proven and test method, the Neo-Steel belt. It took a while to be manufactured (but within the timeframe that Neo-Steel said) then took considerable time (Months) to be accustomed to wearing it. Now its just like wearing panties. It is a large investment, but I would recommend it. It might not be what you want to hear at the moment, but it is always worth it.

I wish you all the best and hope that you can realise your desires. Enjoy Butlins!

 

A time out sounds like an excellent idea. I'm sorry that the Lori hasn't worked out, I'd be distraught if I'd waited so long and anticipated the arrival of the CB then found it was wrong. Then again it's well worth waiting to see if you can get use out of it, and although it's not much commiseration to you the sizing issues you have pointed out will probably be of use to people ordering a Lori in the future.

It's probably inappropriate of me but I do think from your posts I have read that you take on too much responsibility for making your Mistress/slave relationship work. In BDSM I believe submission is given not taken. Sorry if I am speaking inappropriately.

 

Exactly!

Please remember Mistress Watchful that your submissive is still your partner and HE must be responsible for his role in the relationship.

I should also point out that it is still a relationship and perhaps you might need to relax your expectations a bit, especially in these early stages.

Consider this... if doing needle play for the first time would you really want to put an 18 gauge, 2 1/2 inch long needle through Charlotte's cock?!? You could, but what would you build up to? Would Charlotte ever want to do needle play with you again?

IMHO BDSM relationships are the same way. Start easy and work into things. If something is not working, change it. Have fun with what you are doing, if it's not fun what's the sense of playing? Life has enough pleasantries, don't try to force one more on yourself!

and above all... talk, talk, talk!

 

Sorry to hear this!

Mistress Watchful,

This has been one of dolly's concerns about getting an expensive chastity device requiring precise measurements and with a long lead time. It seems that too often, devices have to be sent back for "adjustment", or the buyer has to start over. Even when someone is measured at the "factory", so to speak, like at neosteel, mistakes in measurement are made.

That said, it does seem that if someone has been in the business for so long, as has Lori, that little details like that 1/2 inch additional compensation would be well known and would be part of the measurement process. Also, while dolly is not a metal worker, wouldn't it be easier to remove metal rather than to add it?

Dolly wishes you and charlotte the best, Mistress Watchful, and hopes that a 1/2 inch mistake doesn't kick You and charlotte out of the lifestyle or shut down the site. It's an important half inch, to be sure, but there may be some back up plan, or perhaps Lori will be persuaded to fix the problem once she understands Your concern and Your influence at this successful chastity site. Dolly feels that Lori should make this right for You and charlotte and would be quite disappointed if she doesn't. If she can't fix it, perhaps she could lend You something to use while waiting on the new device. Please keep us informed of the outcome as it could affect our future choices as well! And, have a great holiday!

Curtsey,
dollyanne

 

A break is exactly what you need. Sometimes the lifestyle can hard and frustrating especialy when expectations aren't met of seem to be out of reach. Master and I have only been at the whole bdsm thing for 2 years and chastity for around 1 but we have learned a lot together. When it all gets too much we take a step back and after a few days we're soon missing playing and the roles that we each had.
I've tried to switch quiet a few time when I've got demanding but it usualy only lasts a few hours and I'm back to wanting to submit.
I'd say we're in a similar situation not really living the 24/7 lifestyle but when we are it's great, it makes us stronger and closer as a couple.
It is nice to take a step back and be vanilla now and again but the lifestye can be so good it's worth working on.
Anyone will know from reading my blog that I'm not always submissive but I'm working on it. If I orgasm it can take me days even weeks to become submissive again thats why I'm so eager to have my cock locked and to be trained even conditioned.

Sorry if I've gone on a bit. This sites been great for both of us and would be a great shame to lose you as a lifestyler on the site.

 

I feel it is important to that Lori makes good on your order.

Anyone who has read my posts at chastitylifestyle will be aware that I experienced problems when my neo-steel arrived. This particular problem was not as a result of inaccurate measurements but rather my unique anatomy. Neo-steel had never experienced a similar problem in all the years they have been making chastity belts.

After consultation they agreed to manufacture a new tube with dimensions that I suggested. I WAS NOT charged for this, only had to return the original tube.

This told me that they respect the business and appreciate their customers. If we decide to purchase a new belt we will be returning to them.

Having read this thread, I would never consider a Lori Device.

 

sympathetic ear

N.B. The following is an opinion only, it in now way represents facts or the reasoning of a sane person.

I think you might be over reacting. I did too when mine didn't fit.

I think the lead time on the Lori allows you to propagate this dream that when it finally does arrive, everything is going to change instantly and you'll be this incredible dom and pet will be the most obedient sub ever and everything will be well. It's just a dream though..

It's a bit like what happened when my wife and I got married. We'd been living together for a year, and sharing money completely for about 3 months. When we got married, we expected something big.. then when it was all over, we were disillusioned because we'd just spent all that money, gone through a heap of stress.. and were in exactly the same place!!

Can't the lori be adjusted? Can't you send it back registered post so you'll be told if theres a problem reaching the PO BOX?

Also, We don't hear enough from your pet. What's his excuse? You're mothering a bunch of children, you were going to uni and studying, you're working, you're learning about femdom, you respond to almost every post in here!.. what is pet doing all this time?
It was clear from the moment I showed my Mistress the lori website, that it was my responsibility to get it organised, take measurements, etc.. Your pet should be making this happen if he truly wants it.

I hope you get over this feeling soon, look forward to all the other great things that are happening around. I'm sure there are many, as good things tend to happen around good people.

 

Some great posts going here!

Just curious Mistress Watchful, but have you contact Miss Lori about the measurement issue yet? She is supposed to be very easy to work with and most people have reported having to send their devices back in for adjustments. I am sure we all would all like to know if she is charging you for the adjustment or forcing you to buy a new device.

I must also add that it seems as if you are having some serious bouts of depression. Please take care of yourself, sit back and re-evaluate the situation you are in. The most important person that you need to take care of is yourself!

 

Come on now Mistress Watchfull, You know you just need a break and to calm down. I know you are upset, but I must tell You, it will get better! This lifestyle is a long term commitment and You know after being in it, that it dosent always work the way You think it should All the time. The Lori device problem sucks, but I do believe that can be worked out.
Lots of things I could say here but I just mainly wanted You to know that I was thinking of You and wish I could help! Now...I have offered Your pet some cleaning counsling, I can help him get organized and started in the right direction with that if You wish, it would certainly make Your life alot easier! You let Me know if I can help, I'd be happy to if You would like that.
Mistress Michelle

 

((((((((hugs)))))))))

 

Oh my god Mistress, I swear my mouth was hanging open when I read your first post! Then I saw your second one and realized (or hoped) that your initial comments were made in frustration and anger. You know I had come online tonight to post something about myself and things that have been happening lately but this is far more important.

First, after reading all of the postings in reply to yours I realized that I guess I was pretty lucky with our choice of devices. I just picked the CB3000 and it fit but was snug, which was perfect. I know that the CB3000 is not the best device. God if I really wanted to get out of it I am sure I could but I do know that I could not get back in and since Mistress checks me when I come home after being out I would have a problem if I did let myself out. I think my point is that some people think you have to have an escape proof device to prove your chastity but to each his own (or her own). I dont want out of my device and have never tried so this device works for us.

So the device you bought simply will not work at all? That just sucks! I am mad for you, truly.

But what I dont understand is about your pet. Because his cock is not locked up he feels not under your control? I dont know him but that sounds to me like he is feeling sorry for himself. I just went through a full week without being locked up. It was one of the things I was going to write about. Mistress and her lover wanted me to show them that I can be trusted and since I have been trained so well I did not abuse the time I was out. I was very tempted because I was still teased and denied but at any time I could have cum if I wanted. You know what happened? I begged by weeks end to be locked back up again. It was too much pressure and it felt wrong after all this time being locked up.

Your pet should feel the same and you should talk to him about this. Submission is not measured by a chastity device. The device may help to deliver that initial massage and train someone to be more submissive but it is not what defines submission. Submission comes from your heart, from your soul, from your passion, and from a place so deep inside that you dont even know where that place is. It comes from love and devotion.

Mistress, I want to tell you this and I am as sincere as I can be when I say this. You are a Mistress. You desire to be a Mistress and you have tasted it. I can see it in your eyes and while I do not know you personally, I feel like I do because I know my Mistress and she is so much like you.

So you know, we have had setbacks from time to time. I have been tempted to just say screw it and go back to what I was before...but I dont want that. It is not easy and just like a plain vanilla relationship, a D/s relationship has its ups and downs. The only difference is that the woman in a D/s relationship is always right...lol.

Listen, you have to do what is right for you but I have read your words and gotten a peak into your heart and you are a Mistress and a Goddess. Please dont change or go away.

 

Mistress Watchful,

I think "journey" is the right word for what we all go through. Journeys are rarely easy, and often have setbacks. A break is a fine thing if you're frustrated. It helped me understand something. I took a break after my first PA setback. I TRIED to get my mindset in a more 'vanilla' mode, since it would make things easier with my wife. The result was more frustration. That was actually my epiphany.

We are what we are, deep inside. I think the only thing more frustrating than the setbacks I've had, was when I tried to walk away from what I am. That's why I ended up making my five year plan. It's really just an level-setting with myself that there WILL be setbacks and frustrations, and that I want to just expect that, and be tenacious.

The only thing worse than not living your dream, is giving up on it.

Peace and good luck!
mikecb

 

Set you a pm my best wishes to you both

Loris

 

Mistress Watchful,

I feel for your frustration. I know a lot of Dominants pride themselves in their ability to take charge and lead a situation. When the situation is out of their control, they feel like they are failing as leaders. Leading is difficult enough when you have the proper tools and support. I definitely don't envy you.

Best wishes,

~*jamie*~

P.S. The Chastity Mansion is one of my favorite forums. You have done a fantastic job building it and making it grow. It is much more than a dream. It is an inspiration.

 

Dear Mistress Watchful,

i felt so sorry when reading Your post and not even having the time to write and help to ease Your frustration and disappointment. Never mind, there were so many others who did so my silly two pence weren't really needed.

How many times in life when things go wrong we feel shattered to pieces and think about stopping and going into a different direction. However, there's always another day to give things a new try.

I was quite amused when i read You consider going back to vanilla. Good joke, Ma'am. Once You have tasted the "forbidden fruits" You can't get rid of them any more ...

My best wishes and a big hug

... and of course a deep curtsey

maid katrin

 

Mistress watchful,

I understand how you feel it can all be a bit overwhelming when things don't go the way they were supposed to. It has taken me and Aydensboy over 10 years to get to this point, a full year to have him actually in his belt for more then 1-2 days at a time.. and so many many heartbreaking disappointments, belts not working, his escaping all of it enough to make this Mistress lose her head more then once and really almost put her heart out of the lifestyle.. a few months off and ready to go again it seems. Perhaps the best thing to do is give permission to take a break deal with mom hood, wife hood and all that goes on in ones life and get back to the lifestyle when your head and heart are aligned once more.

Also.. not sure if it's feasible really look at neosteel. best thing happened once it was in our hands, the right size after pet messed up the sizing the first time.

 

Just curious what the charge might be for her to modify the size for you. Goddess and i have been debating about a Lori tube for a long time now.