Is it all just too much of a hassle?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Locked_In_LV, Nov 5, 2012.

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  1. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Long term member

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    Hey all, this is the first time I've posted here in a loooooong time. I hope everyone is doing well.

    Mistress Lauren and I took quite a break from the chastity play but I have been longing to get back in to it for quite a while. When I asked her what it would take to get her to lock me up again she said it's too much of a hassle... She said it's a hassle having to lock/unlock the device, which I replied that I usually lock it, and she doesn't have to unlock it (ever) if she doesn't want to... She said she needed to for showering/shaving/etc. I have a MM JailBird and it doesn't have to come off for showering. Shaving I do about once a week, but I could cut that down to once every 2-3 weeks or whatever it would take to make it happen. Or even try just shaving around the device with it still on. Short of getting on my knees and begging I'm not sure what else to say. She used to be really in to the chastity thing and I absolutely loved that...

    Help me get my KH back! What are some ideas for trying to make it easy and fun for her again??
     
  2. Vithryld
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    Vithryld Slave

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    I am having the same issue, I think. The labour Mistress put into the relationship goes beyond the physical locking/unlocking. It can be mentally exhausting for her as time goes on. As I go longer without orgasm, the desire I have for attention increases. I want more teasing, physical and mental. I want her to move faster in terms of how serious she takes the whole process. I want I want me me me mine mine mine. The denial quickly forces me to think only of my growing desires, and not about pleasing her.

    Enough about me: If you want her to warm up to the arrangement, remind her, gently, of what she found rewarding about it. The actual nuts and bolts (oh god I didn't actually type that did I?) are a trifle if she really enjoys what they represent.

    I hope this helps?
     
  3. 2inch
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    2inch chasity,its for my own good

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    interesting topic
     
  4. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    Just do the dam housework, I'm sure that will help her decide.
     
  5. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Long term member

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    Funny you should mention that... Due to a huge project push at work I've been less attentive to my household duties... I just wrapped up what should be the last business travel of the year and started back on my full list of daily chores...

    That being said, that same day (but unrelated as she didn't know yet) we agreed that I would handle the locking and unlocking and she would verify the number on the sticker that covers the keyhole on the last day of lockup to insure there's been no funny business... We'll see how it works out...
     
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  6. MistressMagick
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    MistressMagick Mistress Magick

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    You're doing the right thing in making it as easy for her as possible, and get back to doing those chores! If you aren't doing them, she has to deal with them, and do you really think she's gonna have the energy and and interest left after feeling like she has to do everything herself?
     
  7. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Long term member

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    No, I certainly don't. I've been traveling for work so besides just the lack of chores getting done she's also had to shuttle the kids around, do grocery shopping, etc... (I've been gone for 4 days at a time every 2nd or 3rd week for the last two months or so) I know it's hard on her.
     
  8. MistressMagick
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    MistressMagick Mistress Magick

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    Exactly!

    I think it's generally best to wait until you've shown her that you're back to doing things and have given her a chance to recover from doing so much before you ask. If she's already feeling haggard, of course she's not going to feel like it's worth the trouble. If she's feeling pampered and glad to have you back around, she's going to be more likely to feel more generous with her time.

     
  9. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Long term member

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    So last night my wife went out drinking with her coworkers, one of which is her lover Rob. After they left the bar they had sex in his car before she came home and told me about the night efore going to bed. I had so many things going through my mind I had to send her an email before I could quiet my mind and get some rest. Here is what I wrote:

    "Lauren,

    First off, fair warning, this is going to be a long email...

    I don't want you to get the wrong idea about how I said I would like it if you locked me up and denied me sexual pleasure for months at a time. I love our sex life, and I love that we get to engage in so many kinky things together. To me, indulging my kinks is as good as sex (as backasswords as that seems when one of my primary kinks involves not being allowed sexual contact or release.) But somewhere along the line I think you forgot how big of a turn on the tease and denial and chastity is for me. Remember how you used to lock me up and deny me sexual release for weeks, and I would be so horny that my dick would be leaking precum daily while in chastity with no other stimulation at all? To the point of it dripping from my dick and the cage? That to me is literally like having sex practically 24/7... It leaves me in a constant state of simultaneous arousal and sexual frustration that is so strangely satisfying that it borders on indescribable. It is a very intense physical and mental experience that can't be duplicated any other way. Now that you have another guy in the mix it takes it to a whole notha level (try not to picture the coach from MadTV there) it makes the denial so much more profound knowing that not only are you still getting sexually satisfied, but that you are giving intense pleasure and sexual release to someone else that you in turn don't allow me to have. I know that it's probably impossible for you to wrap your head around... But I would reaaaaalllly like to try it... That sort of thing really solidifies in my mind and my heart that i am truly yours, that you own me completely, and that one of my most important roles is serving you, it's the ultimate display of your power and superiority. I know that the decision is yours alone to make as the dominant person in the relationship, so please see this more as a request and a statement about how and why I want this as opposed to a "you need to do x" kind of thing... either way I will respect your wishes. I am truly madly and deeply in love with you, and as strange as it sounds, you giving yourself to others while denying me the privilege makes me feel closer to you than you could ever imagine. I don't know if you think that locking me up and denying me sexual contact/release will make me jealous? Resentful? Angry? Hurt? But nothing could be further from the truth. It makes me feel closer to you, satisfied, loved, cherished, appreciated, and owned. Nothing will make me stop loving you, and I know in my heart that neither one of us will do anything to cause this to come "crashing down"... We both have so much to gain in the situation. No one could ever take either of our places in eachother's hearts; we are connected on such a deeper level than most couples could ever dream of or hope for, we're probably closer now than most people who have been married 10 years or more. It doesn't take reading more than a few posts on any kink site to realize that. I truly believe we were meant to be and I look forward to being together for the rest of our lives and after if it exists. You are my soul mate, my everything, the love of my life and the mother of our children. No matter what the sexual situation is, no one can own that but us. So please consider it and let me know what you think/feel about the idea.

    Loving you always and forever,
    Your faithful, devoted, obedient, submissive, and crazy in love with you husband.

    P.S. I know you're going to freak out about what time I sent this, but I couldn't rest with all of this on my mind. As much as I wanted to say it all in person it just couldn't wait."

    This morning after she read that we had a chance to talk about it and she agreed that we would try it out for a while with her being exclusively intimate with her lover while I remain locked in chastity... I know she can change her mind in an instant if she so desires, but I am thrilled, excited, scared, and happy knowing that we are about to embark on a new more serious and longer term period of chasity play than ever before.
     
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  10. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    WOW, very cool turn of events for you!! I'm still wishing that our reltionship gets to where you are now someday. The thought of being able to serve and worship her, knowing she is receiving her sexual satisfaction from another, makes me feel almost tingly. And, thinking about someday serving her, and her lover, while they are together... OMG
     
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  11. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Long term member

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    Yeah it's all very surreal that she is actually sleeping with other guys now... I LOVE it... I was beginning to think it was all some overblown male fantasy, but I can tell you from experience, it can happen (and I know that will be taken with a grain of salt since I'm just another faceless username with a picture of my cock on the internet, but I guarantee you it's true)

    Not only is she doing it, but she thoroughly enjoys it now. Just yesterday (it was our 2 year wedding anniversary) we were chatting via text message while she was at work and while discussing dinner she told me what she would like me to get for us. I agreed to get her anything she chose and this is the convo that followed:

    Her: "Thank you baby"
    Me: "Thank YOU for being the most amazing wife I could ever ask for :)"
    Me: "Picking up dinner is the LEAST I could do for you"
    Her: "Aww ur so sweet baby. Ur an amazing husband too... No other guy would ever share me or worship me the way u do"
    Me: "Lots would! You don't give yourself enough credit."
    Her: "Worship- maybe. Share- no"
    Me: "Hopefully you see the sharing as a good thing :) and hopefully you've come to fully accept that I have absolutely ZERO desire to be with anyone else... No equality in this arrangement, just you being completely liberated to see anyone whenever, wherever, however, and however much you want."
    Her: "You may come to regret this babe..."
    Me: "I doubt that"
    Me: "Highly"
    Me: "Like I said yesterday, the day you decide to tell me that going back to a cuckolding free relationship isn't an option will be a good one in my book..."

    I know this goes along the lines of the "Be careful what you wish for" theme, but I truly believe that this is the right choice and that we have a bright future in this. We have such a strong relationship. Someone may cum between us, but no one can ever come between us. (haha, I like that, I'm going to have to save that one!)

    The more she gets her sexual needs filled outside the home, the more she will feed my desire to be kept locked and denied for longer periods. And I get off on hearing about her exploits, even without the chastity... Either way it's a win-win situation...
     
  12. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Long term member

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    Duplicate post. Mods, please remove if possible.
     
  13. mslv4u
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    mslv4u Foot fetish opened my world

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    glad you found your happiness again. Always interesting to me reading these life stories.
     
  14. AliceInBondageLand
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    Moderator Verified Female

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    Find out what made it fun for her and emphasize that... not what you want HER to do for YOU... but what YOU can do for HER!

    Sounds like she doesn't think it is very fun. Find the part of it that inspired her and relight the flame by making it fun again.
     
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