is being submissive means being a weak man?

I'm the opposite. I'm very much strong and such in my professional life. I'm also tough when I'm with a Domme and very protective of her.

Being submissive doesn't have to mean weak. It means you are willing to give yourself to a dominant.

That said, I'm not to fond of men and will defer to women most of the time. The only time in the vanilla word where I don't is when they are out of line and not being respectful to others or if I disagree with them when it impacts me or others seriously.

 

Being submissive takes a great deal of strength of character. To give yourself over to another person isn't easy. Submissive and weak are not synonymous terms.

 

I agree! It took me a while to come to terms with is also, and my madam made me proud to be submissive

 

Agree it takes strength to fully submit…and allow someone to lock up your cock, give up the key, etc. or as some of us, get it pierced for your wife.

Also many of us are more “alpha” and strong “manly men” in our public life. My wife and I have that dynamic. Work or public, we’re a “normal” couple, and at home, private life, bedroom, she “owns” all aspects of me, and controls “her” cock and any orgasms she may or may not allow. This also has the affect of keeping me cognizant of still putting her first/forward and showing the correct measure of respect when we’re out and about in our public life, which just makes our relationship that much better and stronger and others around us notice and want what we have…little do they know the control she exerts and my submissiveness are the “key” (pun intended) to all of this.

 

I totally understand your struggle and I have it too. I would say that it is true that majority of people see submissive men as weak. But in my opinion the preception of such men is getting better as women and men are being seen as equal in current society.

I don't think it will have influence on your goals and mainly career as long as you keep your submissiveness separate.

But what I'm sure about is that it doesn't not mean you won't ever find a partner. There are women who likes to be dominant, there might be less of them, but they do exist. And it is better to search a bit longer for a partner who understands you that to pretend for the rest of your life that you are someone else.

 

i am not very strong but i like working as a maid.

 

Most men are weak, for starters, and personal strength and bedroom role are largely unrelated, imo. If chastity is distracting you from your more important goals then you need to have a wank and get to work and try again later.

 

Submissive does not mean weak. It's just one aspect of your personality.

 

Mistress would not date me if I were weak, non masculine (I have hair on my chest) and well built without being a tank. With all respect to sissys here she is not into that either only because she is not into women at all or feminised men. (Although she has threatened to make me wear women's underwear before pegging me).

Indeed it is my strength that means I am more useful to her. I can also see why maintaining a sissy persona and maintaining a usefulness would take strength also.

Her dominance is that she knows I will absolutely do anything to please her, to win favour, get told I am a good boy. I am in chastity because she likes to control that aspect of me.

Everyone else can take a flying leap, with all due respect of course.

No doubt there are some chastised weak men here, but being in chastity does not mean one is weak.

 

My reply isn’t as deep as others. Originally my role was simply to provide, protect, and care for my family at all cost. No sacrifice was too big, no hardship was too tough. That all still holds true. If you start there, and understand that you have been serving the woman you love since day one, is it really such a big step to give the one you chose, love, and trust, above all others, a key to something she has always owned?

 

Being submissive to your KEYHOLDER does not make you weak

 

Being submissive to your KH does not make you weak. I am a strong male while in drab, for me I am submissive sexually. Being in chastity and feminized while under the control of KH is the only time I am submissive. However, KH knows that she will be in control sexually so I must be careful not to offend KH.

 

Wow. I don't know how to follow up those great posts, but why not.

I agree that being submissive is NOT being weak. I think your submission shows that you have respect for that which a woman SHOULD have the dominant role in, which is the sexual aspect of the relationship.

I think you are a real man when you are modest enough to realize that someone might be better at something than we are.

Humility in its truest sense, is a fantastic quality that is very attractive in every sense. Work, leisure, with your friends and any relationship. Nobody likes a haughty jackass.

Sexually, men suck at self regulation. We always err to the side of excess. When a woman controls your sexuality, it keeps you well grounded and balanced.

That is one of many qualities that women are just superior at over men. So putting sexuality into her hands is respectful, kind and gives them dignity.

That is how a real man treats a woman.

 

I used to think that "submissive = weak" prior to me and my wife actually starting to live a lifestyle that supported the Dom/sub dynamic. I now see it very differently:

Trust. There is a lot of trust involved in this. I trust my wife to make good, just, fair decisions, including ones I hate, or won't look forward to. We have seen growth from my being totally trusting in her abilities. She also has to trust me that she is not overstepping any limits/boundaries we have, and that everything up to those are feasible and allowed. She trusts me when she assigns duties/tasks/etc to me. Sometimes it's a boring thing - like I've got to contact our energy providers because their billing has gone stupid (I mean more so than the usual increases that we're now facing). She trusts I can and will sort that out. Obviously I don't want to break that trust.

Openness. We are more open with each other, I can provide input and opinion on matters, but submit to her final say. She may at times need support herself, and I, even in a submissive position in our relationship, am able to provide that.

Respect. Because I am in submission to my wife, I respect her wishes far more than ever before. I will do my utmost to ensure those wishes are fulfilled.

Humility. Something a lot of people generally could do with. Submission to me also has a strong element of humility, which is a tough lesson to learn at times. My wife sees humility after a punishment for something I've done (or not done). She sees it carry on long after the punishment. There's a joke about people doing something called 'humble brag', but often I'm the opposite. I accept the humbling situation and just move on (of course, saying this is a form of humble brag, but I'm trying to illustrate the point here lol).

Stereotypes. There's probably a lot of stereotypes around - the men are supposed to be the Alpha, "don't take no bullshit" etc. Macho, strong, don't show emotion, etc. The women are stereotyped to be the home makers, the child raisers, etc. Obviously societal shifts have changed this a lot, but given the church circles my wife (and I in the past) moved in, this is still strongly promoted as a 'Godly ideal'. It's going to take a lot of strength to overcome these stereotypes, and others, to be in submission to a Dominant woman. I recall a 'Mens Night' our church used to do:

We'd gone to a pub, and we were talking generally. Obviously, being beefed up men, talk inevitably got round to shit-talking about their wives. These guys were bitching and moaning about how their wives were nagging, always on at them about not spending time with them, etc. On and on it went. I wasn't long married, but even so, based on my experience with my parents, I didn't hold or like these views at all. It got to a point one guy saw my obvious discomfort, mentioned we should change the subject. They never did the same in front of me again. It appalled me. These were wives practically crying out for attention from their husbands, who were so often blind to their needs, but because they followed these stereotypes either from the church setting or their upbringings, could not back down and submit themselves to loving their wives more than just being 'part of the house'. Some of them even deliberately avoided their wives for these reasons.

I'm glad of my upbringing - my dad always loved my mum, through good times and bad. They worked stuff out. He made sure she was happy, and she would often tell him when she wasn't. They committed themselves to each other and I am glad that's one feature of my early life I carried on with my wife. I just took it to the level of submitting myself to her in a more total way, including on a sexual level.

There's a lot of factors where there is an incredible strength of mind for the submissive. I don't know about the Dominant side, I've never ever considered myself Dominant at all. Our marriage almost naturally fell into the Dominant wife, submissive husband through our own personalities. I guess that's probably why I fell for her in the first place - subconsciously choosing this woman to be the Dominant force in my life. It would take about 6+ years of marriage before we settled on this dynamic in what would be called an FLR. I just saw her being more in charge, we didn't even have a name for it back then.

I have some mental health issues, which are easily treatable (and successfully so). Before I was diagnosed, I was still that submissive person, but fighting against a mental state that would argue back, fight against things happening, etc - since treatment began, and we began to adopt the FLR life more seriously, including punishments, etc., my wife noticed that I was now far less argumentative, I was content, happy even. We know our roles compliment each other, I am in submission to this wonderful woman, and I am so settled now. It gives me a lot of inner peace and strength knowing my place, knowing I will do whatever it takes to please my Dominant, and we see fruit in our efforts. It's not perfect, but we work on it, and grow together in each of our roles.

So, to finish: Submission from the outside can be seen as a weakness, but I think it's really being who we naturally are, and that takes a lot of strength.

Anyway, I'll stop there because I can really ramble on otherwise...

 

Being arrogant, ignorant, it is very easy. Being obedient is hard. Obedient man is a strong man.

 

It is what you want it to be

 

Not at all. I still do all the "normal" guy things, camping, hunting, ect. But when it all comes down to it, I am submissive to my wife and most women in general.

 

Am I Dominant? No. Am I masculine? Hell No.
Which should be perceived as weak?
A) Pretending to be what I"m not
or
B) embracing who I am,

 

IMHO, being a submissive requires a strength that most men couldn't even imagine. Consider yourself stronger than all of them. As for your apparent lack of interest in your goals, I'm thinking you need to stop thinking with your junk and start thinking about your goals.