This is something that I've been thinking of for awhile, and I thought it would be good to get others opinions on the matter. Do you think that Dom/Domme's are naturally extroverted? And on the flip, do you think subs are naturally introverted? As you can probably guess, I've VERY extroverted. My idea of a great time is being with lots of friends and talking all night. Meeting new people is exciting to me. Yet, the men I've been attracted to my whole life have been on the shy side. When I met John he was very quiet and afraid to speak his mind on subjects. He really had trouble in a crowd or at a party joining in on conversation. Over time while being with me and my family, he's learned that if he's got something to say he better speak up. I can say that in the 17 years we've been together he's come out of his shell 10 fold. He can still get overwhelmed if we're in a large group of people, but he's learned how to cope with his feelings of discomfort. I think it's interesting that all my friends are outgoing, fun, a bit loud...yet this is NOT who I find attractive. I'd be crunching on the cutie in the corner that's chatting quietly with a friend or by himself. In fact as soon as a man starts with the cocky attitude, I immediately feel on guard. Like he's competing with me or something. Weird..... What do you think?
They do say opposites attract don't they, so maybe this is the basis for the idea. I am naturally extrovert but with a bit of self recognition and analysis over the years, I realised that a lot of people can find this overwhelming and intimidating. I actually have never found submissive people attractive as I like to be challenged and am usually drawn to people who have a point of view that is worth discussing. If someone is immediately submissive to me, I actually find this quite a turn off but do feel protective of people who are shy and make an effort to "tone myself down" to draw them out. My hub is a typical outgoing alpha male and that's how we started dating. His submission to me started as an intellectual conflict resolution - and you do need a system of this if you are both confident alphas as compromise can be difficult at times. He had only ever been in vanilla relationships where he was the typical silverback but when he met me, things changed for him and his view is that his submissiveness had always been there. It only came to the surface when he met a woman that could stand up to him in terms of intellect, confidence and even earning potential. He believes that he would not be a submissive to any other woman. For my part, I would never have been romantically interested in him if he had been a "yes man" or showed signs of being intimidated by me. That said, I find over the top, cock swinging males who sit with their legs open at right angles to be exceptionally tedious. The last leery bloke who grabbed my arse was told in my sweetest voice and with the girliest of smiles that the next part of his body that touched me would be returned to him broken into several small pieces, possibly with bite marks. I do find good old fashioned manners, respect and chivalry to be attractive traits in a man. If opening a door for a woman or holding out an arm to help out of the car is considered submissive then there's a whole new discussion. I personally see it as a sign of quiet strength, good upbringing and thoughtfulness and everytime a noisy feminist decries gentlemanly behaviour as some sort of attack on her equality, I get very annoyed.
For me i am some of both. In a room full of people that i don't know i will be quite introverted talking to only those i know. On the other hand in a room full of people i know i am not afraid to express my opinion, right MM. MM's sweetpea
Interesting poll. I voted introvert. Reason: I get my energy refilled when I spend time alone. I like being among people and am so most of all days. But if I dont get time alone I get stressed and lose my energy slowly. I am the shy pure guy who sees the best in all people. Extrovert in my opinion are people who can be amongst others at all times and still have lots of energy. When alone for too long they lose their mental energy.
i find a room full of strangers in a social gathering intimidating . however a room full of strangers watching me when i am working i turn in to a wee bit of a show off. maybe in my professional life i am more in my comfort zone . i stopped drinking 2001 and strange thing i came out of my shell more. i started interacting more i found myself more relaxed in female company. i find i am more at home with a confident female. ( they were the one's i felt intimidated before ) hope this makes some sort of sense to someone
I would have to vote for both. I am most comfortable when I am with people I know. I did learn a long time ago, however, that the mind follows the most prominent thought. Therefore, when I am with a group of people ( and expected to behave in a certain manner) I can appear somewhat extroverted. I do enjoy meeting new people, but prefer it to be in smaller groups. Large groups tend to overwhelm me. I also agree with both Goddess Jen and Celtic Queen. I find over confident, brutish, chest thumping, knuckle dragging men to be a complete and utter turn off. Definitely not worth the time and effort to get to know them. On the other hand, the gentleman will catch my attention every time.
extroverted for the most part, but in an introverted way if that makes any sense. i do not have an i love me wall any where and do not need constant reminders of any form of greatness. i am outgoing but very reserved at the same time. Respectful of those around me and not wishing to draw attention to myself. Great topic of discussion by the way and i have enjoyed reading the responses. cynthia
after checking with Mistress i voted myself as an extrovert. except when Mistress gags me or otherwise instructs me to be quiet!
Extrovertly submissive.. i think most would assume the above to be true. i submit to my Mistress completely but in nearly any given social or work situation you will find me very much leading the charge to to speak. my submission to Her is used by us both to ensure that W/we find solutions to issues we have and it gives a forum for U/us to debate the issue and decide upon a way forward TOGETHER, it is when there is a difference of opinion that my Mistress will if needed make an overriding decison that i must accpet without further argument. This is hard for me as i am used to geting my own way, on several occassions i have been punished for not 'letting the agreed arrangement stand'. i have learnt now. All those psychometric tests i have done put me off the scale for extrovert. i love going to new situations and mixing with people that i don't know. There is always something to learn! So i am most definitley an extrovert and most definitley a submissive, but i would only ever submit to my Wife/Mistress. i cannot see my self ever submitting to any other person. my signature line says it all. Best regards to all
I am definitively introvert, and I am mostly dominant. I also have a submissive side, and I guess that is what got me locked up in my chastity device. I originally got interested in chastity belts because I thought they could be an interesting way to dominate women, but soon learned that chastity is more beneficial for men. On the other hand, most subs i know afk are naturally extroverted. So I do not think that doms in general are extroverted and subs are introverted. But I do think that opposites attract, so introverted and extroverted people attract each other.
Goddess Jen, I did not answer this poll as I was torn between two minds. I am a bit of split personality in this regard. I am in introvert in my private affairs, but an extrovert in my public ones, if that makes any sense to you. I am a very private person who seems open to the outside world. Respectful :cat:
i voted extrovert. i am very much an outgoing person. i enjoy meeting new people and striking up a conversation with about anyone i can find. However, i have observed that the older i get, the less i do this.