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Intro/Wife's Ultimatum

Discussion in 'The Foyer' started by ChastitySubHub, Sep 11, 2017.

?

What should I do?

Poll closed Sep 12, 2017.
  1. End Chastity Play

    11 vote(s)
    55.0%
  2. Get Locked but also cucked

    9 vote(s)
    45.0%
  1. Hi all,

    This is my introduction and first post as well as my current situation I find myself in. My wife and I have played with short term chastity play for an evening date or few days at a time starting in 2013. Overall we'd never really done any long term for the most part because my wife misses penetration from the real thing. Well I've been asking to play more and Last night my wife came to me with an ultimatum. She said that she feels that we have lately been incompatible sexually, that she loves the caring, attention and foreplay that she gets while I'm locked but misses penetrative sex. And that when we've had this sex that I revert to old tendencies and don't provide her with the emotional love or have the girth and stamina to be give her great orgasms. In order to cum she said that she needs to feel wanted by a man and that chastity and accompanying play have tainted her image of me. She said that in order to restore her image of me and our current relationship we need to stop all chastity play and return to a more vanilla style. And if we are to continue with chastity play that it needs to be "real", long term and that she should be permitted to cuckold me as my penis would stay locked. She said I have 24 hours (9 left) to give her an answer that it shouldn't be difficult and she knows my answer if it is. I've always considered cuckolding a hard limit and am very scared.
     
    spider203 likes this.
  2. Based on what you have written my advise is to not get locked up. It won't work out. Don't bust a hard limit based on an ultimatum.

    Go back and work on your relationship. With out good foundation chastity and cuckolding won't work out. With her holding a "tainted image of you" relationship won't work out. Can you give her the emotional love she wants with out chastity? Can you find toys to give her the girth and you the stamina? Is cuckolding a fantasy of hers or a way to push you? Can you negotiate a way into chastity that feels real and safe for both of you?
     
    locked17 and manintyres like this.
  3. Thanks for the advice. I guess I didn't realize I'm not giving her the emotional love when I'm not locked but definitely the focus is on her when I am so I think I can do this better. As for girth she doesn't like toys this is the first she's complained about it to me though. She said with some previous guys she could cum quick with them being thicker but she needs me to last longer to get there and lately I haven't been. Which to be fair I definitely haven't been able last longer in bed recently or consistently. I'm nervous to try and negotiate at this point as she was firm with the options.
     
  4. You both need a long serious chat about it and not just a 24 hour ultimatum .
    If its a hard limit then it's a hard limit , simple as .

    You could risk the whole relationship if you do lock up and she goes down the Cuckolding route .

    I'm a bit confused as to how her being with another man will change her "tainted image of you " ?

    don't do it unless you think you can emotionally handle her seeing another man/men .

    It may be her way of knowing it's a hard limit and she doesn't want to "do the chastity thing" anymore .

    The choice is ultimately up to you but you need a long chat about this and ultimatum is not the best way to decide something as serious as this and maybe you could find another way to do it instead or not at all .
     
  5. Thank you again. The "tained image" is she says when I'm locked im unable to pleasure her like a man.
     
  6. I would recommend being uncaged and trying harder to take care of her emotional needs. If that's beyond what you feel that you can do, cuckolding might well be the answer. Good luck.
     
  7. Seems she wants the best of all(both) worlds and is willing to push real hard for it, and she has tried to state why. Like many others have said here, you need to spend some time talking. Probably more than 24 hours, especially if there hasn't been much discussion of this lifestyle change previously. Permanent chastity as a cuckold will only work if it's what everyone really wants, most especially the subby cuck. To some extent, I can't believe she would even offer cucking you as an option if she really didn
    t want to have some part of that ultimately.
     
  8. Yes my confusion is the fact you will still be locked while she getting "pleasure" from another man so how will that change her image of you because you will still be locked ?
     
  9. I think it would change her image of me but she said she'd be ok with that as she could fullfil her other sexual needs and her emotional ones.
    She doesn't want me in and out of chastity to be trying to fulfill her those images clash for her.
    She wants me out of chastity to be more emotionally loving, manly and taking control.
     
    Joroincharge likes this.
  10. Can you handle her being with other men though ?
     
  11. If she knows that cuckolding is your hard limit, i would think that she is wanting you to turn away from male chastity and go back to the way it was before.
     
    traveler and danleft1 like this.
  12. Wow, a tied vote with a couple hours before I'll see my wife. I'm leaning in the direction of the words of advice I've received over the vote as I don't know if I can handle her perusing other men and wonder if she isn't picking a hard limit to end the chastity play. Thank you all for the help unfortunately it doesn't look like this type of kink suited us well.
     
  13. is she against you using a strap on, on her? Has she ever tried the hitachi magic want? There are also penis sleeves.
     
  14. Coming in after the clock ... but will add it anyway ... the answer is when she wants you to Fuck her, you do it, just no Orgasm for you ... then back in the cage ... but I agree that it seems she is over the chastity "play" so she decided to go all in or get you to quit.
     
  15. Hope you can work it out for you both , whatever the outcome
     
    Penney likes this.
  16. So we had the talk. I said that I wanted to put the chastity away and focus on us. She said that she was glad that I did. She then laid out the following expectations as she unsure we'll both be satisfied. First no chastity porn, if she catches me reading, looking at any chastity porn she won't believe the past is behind me. Second, must treat and cater to her as I have when I'm locked per her this means offering to eat her out often and randomly, placing her orgasm first, more cuddling and everything else she's become accustomed to while we've played. Finally, she wants to see improvement in my performance in the bed room, i.e. no erectile issues if she's prancing in lingerie and no premature ejaculation. She said if I can make these commitments to her we do not need to persue other options however if I fall short without improving in anyway that realistically the only way we can sexually be compatible is the other option.
     
  17. I get the impression that she is having a real problem with you wanting to introduce chastity play and the way she percieves it to have worked out.
    Perhaps there is some room for negotiation there.
    Cuckolding does work for some but I would think that the lack of people saying it did not work for them does not mean that it did. You need a relationship that is strong in all areas to accept cuckoldry plus joint agreement and acceptance.
    You have said its a hard limit and because of that I do not think you should go down that route.
    There may be some scope to retain some of the aspects of chastity play if not you have to decide whether you have a hard need and if that the need is compelling enough to sacrifice what you had before you introduced your version of chastity play.

    Together you have reached a crossroads and its time to decide how you both want to deal with it. Together or....
    I wish you well.
     
  18. I'm glad you kinda worked something out together .
    I say kinda because from what you have wrote your under pressure to perform for her all the time or she will choose to see other men and even writing on this forum may be seen by her as chastity porn .

    It's your choice as always ,however, if a lady ever put me in that position (and I have been in a similar position once before) then I would end it because that's placing unfair pressure on you and even if you fulfill everything that's asked it "may not be up to what She was expecting/wanting " anyway (using it as an excuse to see another man/men)

    I hope it's just her way of making sure you "buck up" and is not serious about the "if you fail in anyway then we will do the other option" and hope you both work it out for a happy future together you are both real people with real emotions and your emotions count too .
     
    traveler likes this.
  19. o_O Does she realize a man may not have any control over that depending on physiological factors like fluctuating hormone levels?
    Does she think erectile dysfunction drugs would sell like gangbusters if it was just a matter of willpower?

    Hmmm, maybe I should plan to tell my post-menauposal partner: "no dip in libido alowed! Woman up or be dismissed!"
     
    traveler likes this.
  20. Just a thought but how about you wearing a strap on ? Kind of cuck your self .
     
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