Hello, everyone! I'm a complete newby, with just a tiny bit of cage use in play scenes up until now. I've asked my wife to celebrate locktober with me, so I'm kind of jumping in the deep end right away. We've enjoyed a fairly vanilla sex life, sprinkled with some BDSM and a few other kinky bits sometimes- which we've enjoyed quite a lot. I've been reading about a number of Chastity-related ideas for some time. I've found it appealing tide in with FLR, CD, and Sissy/feminization- I end up wondering if I'm interested in going down any of those paths. I'm still not sure, but am feeling the draw to at least try out a longer-term chastity period, and locktober called to me. My wife is willing to try it out, but is just unsure. I'm hoping that my good behavior for October will convince her that this can work for a longer-term part of our relationship / lifestyle. I'm nervous, excited, hopeful, and a little scared. I still have a million questions to figure out in the remaining week or so, but... here goes!
Welcome! And best of luck with Locktober. I would definitely make sure you are wearing the device pretty regularly before that (even if you are holding the keys) so that you are not overwhelmed the first few days of Loctober. It's a marathon, not a sprint
To state the obvious: It seems to affect different people differently, so please, be patient with yourself and your wife if it doesn't miraculously bloom into an amazing porn video. It's pretty cool that your wife is willing to play with your kinky side. That is 90% of the battle for most people, right there! So whether or not chastity works for you and your wife, make sure you let her know how much you appreciate her willingness just to try out something crazy! She's a keeper!
Welcome! You might want to ask for advice on how to succeed during your first full month of chastity. You are in an important trial period with your wife. How you manage it, will decide whether she agrees to go further. Good luck!
Hi there! I would suggest that you overdo the idea of serving Her so that She fully understands the benefits of being your KH. Otherwise, if you try to top from the bottom, it may all implode on you. Once She sees the positive side of controlling you, She is much more likely to go deeper into such control.
Hello and welcome. Good luck with locktober and your experiments with chastity. Just one word of caution: don't push your wife too hard or expect things to happen too fast. Let it evolve. Good luck.
I am trying very hard to ramp this up, but we did decide a little too late to wear my device as much as I hoped for. I'm still sorting out a few things, but we've already decided that we'll just have to adjust for any unexpected problems that come up. I'm hoping for a marathon... that I finish, but never even tried to push the pace. Thanks for the encouragement and advice!
I am definitely planning to be very patient with her- I know that it's asking a lot, and I'm very lucky to have her. She is an interesting mix of someone wants me to run everything and yet wants to be in control herself. We drove over to the farmer's market today, and on the way we were just chatting and she said, jokingly, "yeah, that's me- I do like to control everything" - and I could tell she was just joking around and completely unaware of how that might sound to the guy getting ready to start Locktober... but I'm at least hoping she'll see that it's fun for her. Anyway, Thanks for the support and advice.
That's a good suggestion- I'll definitely post something. I actually just found chastitymansion yesterday, and I'm hoping to spend a bunch of time reading through what is already in the forums to learn as much as I can. Maybe I'll find some of that advice in there, at least enough to help me have some specific things that I want to ask about as well. Thanks for your help.
That is good advice- I've been thinking about exactly how to do that and your message clarified some thinking on that. She generally wants to "be fair" and "not ask too much", and I'm going to need to encourage her to let that go without turning it into a bunch of specific rules. My real goal for the month is that she is enjoys what happens- not anything too specific for me. I'm ready to work much harder than I already do for her. Thanks again for the advice.
Thanks- I appreciate that advice. It would be very easy to push too hard, but I'm hoping I can keep my current perspective that the goal is more about doing our best than achieving some specific thing. I may have to past together and print out all the advice from this intro and read it to myself every day- so many simple, good reminders of how to do this well. Thanks for taking the time to encourage and support me in this.
Exactly. This is new to her and she is likely to be uncertain. She did not sign up for this. Push too hard and you might creep her out. It sounds like you are taking a measured approach which is very good. You probably have a good sense about how to progress without turning her off.