As many of you know, I wear the cage somewhat reluctantly. I won't deny that at times it adds some great fun to the mix, but on balance, were it not for how strongly @Thatgirl feels about it now, I most likely would not wear it. It's not like I would immediately rip it off if I had my way. I just know that once it came off for normal reasons it would be quite likely I would want to keep it off "for a bit", and that would probably turn into indefinitely. But, alas, that toy from the porn shop all that time ago sparked something in her, and by the time I realized my wearing it had taken on real meaning for her, it was too late. SO here I am, two years or so later, pierced, in the cage. Part of the problem for us has always been my inability to even pretend to be submissive very well. Mixed with her unwillingness to use a heavy hand, and chastity for us has been a challenging learning process. That all said, this last few months, and in particular this last several weeks, there has been an undeniable shift. All of a sudden, my ace-in-the-hole; Thatgirl's inability to keep me locked up for more than several days, and her habit of making lots of empty threats, has changed. Not overnight, and not 180 degrees. But absolutely evident. All of a sudden not only have the lock ups gotten longer - on the order of 2-3 weeks and getting longer each time - but more importantly, she seems to have realized how counterproductive for me to not be taking a whole to of stock when she made a demand / threat / set a rough release date. She still isn't much for physical punishment (usually), but that's just fine by me. The effect of the changes snuck up on me, but are as undeniable as they are evident. Having so drastically reduced the frequency of my releases and my Os, things have started to happen that I've read about here but genuinely always thought was bullshit - just submissive men taking their desires and calling them reality. For one thing, She will tell you unequivocally that by and large I have shed a lot of the sharper edges of my natural dominance. I guess you can only bang your head against the wall for so long. Kudos to her for sticking with it, because any number of the KHs here would long ago have thrown the keys at me and been done with chastity. And while for most men here thats the trump card they fear, for me, it simply would have marked the end of the cage, and I would have been okay with that. Now all of a sudden the submissiveness that she's been craving is taking shape. I do try and fight it some (we'll come back to that in a bit...), but for the most part, it's simply the path of least resistance since she's all of a sudden found her backbone and gotten so firm. Moreover, O's having been so drastically reduced, I've started to notice something that I honest to God thought was pure CM member fiction: Over time, I really do crave to give her an O as much or more than I yearn for my own now. I have no idea when that snuck up on me, but when it became apparent I was shocked. And She is thrilled. All of a sudden instead of yearning to be dominant in the bed like I have always been, but giving in to her control so she would take the cage off finally, I find myself yearning for something different. To feel her assert her control. It did nothing for me for the longest time, yet now, when she takes a heavier hand and makes her assertive demands, it seems to bring me some sort of... comfort? I'm not sure how to express it. Beyond that, and honestly more unnerving than the rest of it, is that what I fantasize about, and what I yearn for now has changed. It occurred to me just the other day that it's much more rare that I am focused on finding a way to get the cage off and have traditional sex. Instead, I find myself hoping for any number of things that she does with me frequently now, none of which require my penis at all. Bottom line, she's taken notice, and a sort of chicken & egg snowball effect has developed. As a result, I feel not only way more submissive than I ever thought I could, but I actually appreciate what that means, and am enjoying it for what it's worth. I think about pleasing her not just because it will make her feel good, but because it really does provide some relief amidst the orgasm denial. The down side is that she told me flat out that this is what she's been waiting for, and that if she knew honestly denying me orgasms for longer would have got me to this place, she may have been able to muster the self control to keep me denied longer a long time ago, and therefore, I should emotionally prepare myself to have FAR fewer O's. Im not sure how I feel about that, but It somehow seems less relevant than it did not so long ago. It normally would have garnered a negative reaction from me. Instead a "yes ma'am" was all I had. What else could I say? There's simply no denying that things have been going so well with her asserting herself, and me letting go. Now that she's gotten more dominant, I feel somehow more comfortable being (rather than acting) more submissive. Now I just hope she can keep it up, because Im starting to understand what going without the O can do for us, but I know if she relents, I will fill the void. Maybe that won't always be the case, but it is still at this point. Back to how I 'fight" the submissiveness taking over. Every so often, and more and more now, I really notice the changes. And sometimes, for whatever reason, I feel like I need to counterbalance it. So Ill spend some time pulling up real maledom vids and reminding myself that THAT is who I am, not her submissive slave. It's a losing battle, but nonetheless I do it. That's what brought on tonight's events (she caught me) and was not happy. She'd been asking me to post this thread for a while, but I've resisted. Tonight she was having none of it.