Inescapability

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by sixofthebest, Mar 11, 2019.

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  1. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Member

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    CAUTION! If you are an omnivore and have not yet had your dinner, DO NOT READ THE TEXT IN RED!

    In today's thread over on the Male Chastity Journal, Lion is reviewing the Nub. He has high praise for it. I asked him if he'd tried to pull out, and he wrote back asking why in the world he would try to do that since it is he who asks to be locked in the first place. Good point! I responded with the following:

    "It is a headspace thing for me. I don't want out either. If the Japanese ever come up with a self-cleaning and self-maintaining device, I'd love to be locked away for very long periods of time and be released only on P's whim and not also when mundane tasks must be performed. It is such a sublime place to be, frustration notwithstanding. (Ha! Frustration contributing!)

    Not being able to escape though is similar to good physical bondage to me. I am always a little sad when it is time to be released from bondage, and I do so very much enjoy struggling against bonds from which escape is impossible. P has always been expert at inescapable. If she restrains you, you're done. You will not escape.

    When play gets rough, the inability to escape steps in for my own courage and keeps me from embarrassing myself by trying to avoid whatever P is administering. There is little better in the world to me than mental surrender combined with inescapable physical restraint while P does her work. That restraint is like an exclamation point and is a very real extension of P's will.

    Chastity has bondage-like qualities. For me, physical inescapability adds to the heat and the delight. A frozen hamburger cooked with fried onions is wonderful. A fresh ground steak burger with melted cheese and carmelized onions served on a bun that has been fried in butter to make it toasty is nigh on orgasmic.

    Jamie"

    Subbies, chaste males (I repeat myself?!), and key holders, what are your thoughts? Symbolism sufficient? Inescapability not important? Preferred? Essential?

    Jamie
     
  2. slave stroppy
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    slave stroppy senior member

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    Oh i so agree with you on the need for inescapeable bondage at the mere hint of being able to free myself the whole event is a letdown and i have never been a good actor so my face shows it outwardly immediately which used to always cause arguments. Its the same with the chastity devices for me though as well i need to know they are not coming off without the key and i also need to hear from my wife that she does not intend to remove it anytime soon, it is all in the mind in reality this kinky stuff.
     
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  3. ctrledboy
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    ctrledboy Member

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    I have the same desires for inescapability. It’s why I got my PA piercing. It’s why my wife keeps my keys in a safe that only she has access to. It’s why my next device will support a wire seal through the lock making any attempt to cheat obvious.

    I’ve never really tried to defeat devices. I did have one time that I was fooling around pulling on my jewelry and I got the ball off while wearing my Steelheart . I wasn’t really expecting it to come free. There’s no way I could have put it back in without pliers that I can’t get in there without taking the device off. So future devices will have an integrated PA pin rather than separate jewelry.

    My next device will be a Rigid Chastity Halfshell. Between the fixed PA pin and the support for wire seals I can’t imagine how I could cheat.
     
  4. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    I wrote a rather long blog post on this once. In short, we all have scripts that we run in our heads. For some, token resistance is enough. Others need more of an actual physical restraint. This is why "honor system" denial is inherently different from denial with a device. It's the difference between "won't" and "can't." If the script in your head is more like "I'm not allowed, and I have to obey," then no device, or an insecure device works just fine. Alternately, if your mental script has more of "I can't, no matter how much I try," then you will want something more secure. And of course, presumably your partner also has a script, so you need to do something that fits with both scripts. In my case, it's easy: Mrs Edge wants me in something secure, because she wants to be 100% in charge, and that fits my script just fine. However, in reality, we're happy with a device that's 90% secure because I really do not want a PA piercing, and so far, Mrs Edge is accommodating.

    For example, my A272 (like my modified CB3000 before it) is both comfortable and secure, and under *most* circumstances, pulling out is a long, painful process. The exception is in the summer, when I'm working outside, then come in for a hot shower. Everything is so loose that it would be easy to pull out, but I don't because I can resist temptation for 10 minutes. Likewise, I have a spare key in the bathroom, so I can remove it for long bike rides. I don't wank before exercising because I don't want to feel sluggish, and I'm certainly not going to pull over to the side of the road. And when I get back, I'm too tired, so I hop into the shower and lock back up. Again, this is the 90% part where the script doesn't quite mesh with reality, but for the small amount, we manage.

    Lion has been playing with kink, BDSM, and chastity long enough so that he's relaxed when his mental script doesn't totally mesh with the reality of his device. And that's fine. Mrs Edge and I h ave been playing with chastity and denial for well over 15 years; I can handle temptation now better than I could back then. Aside: I did once spend 15 months in full orgasm denial with no cage; however, it wasn't as much fun as with the cage because I also like the idea of "can't" instead of "won't."

    If you want a longer discussion on this, I wrote out a much more detailed and reasoned essay back in 2009 when I still had some functioning brain cells.

    https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/consent-and-sensibility/
     
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  5. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Member

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    Tom,

    By your post it is clear that you have plenty remaining functioning brain cells. Thank you and thank you for the link to your essay. Heading there now.

    By the way, we are both definitely in the "Can't" camp. P loves inescapable bondage as much as I do. For her, it is a combination of rendering me absolutely vulnerable to whatever she wants to do and get from me whatever she wants - which sometimes includes absolutely nothing and sometimes includes a lot of pain and frustration for me and a lot of stimulation for her - and pride in having done a terrific job. She is plucky that way. After the first few weeks we were playing so many years ago, I have not once been able to escape. Trust me, there have been times when I've been highly motivated to try my best. P is short and sweet AND she can bring it.

    P says NO PA or other piercings, so to get from 90% to 95% there will be a Lori #16 with retainer ring under the tree. With that, in the unlikely event I can get past the retainer ring it will be impossible to get it back on while the cage is locked. Clear and undeniable evidence of an escape attempt. Did I say P can bring it? In the meantime, a Rigid Beast Muzzle is on the way and I will be locked - more on than off - from now until December to be sure we are both onboard with this over a long haul.

    Jamie
     
  6. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    This is me, too, right down to the biking release. One thing I do is that I take off and put on without looking at the released member, I never want to see the penis free outside of the cage. It adds to the feeling of permanence and inescapability.
     
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  7. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    I've seen the design, and I like the idea. I'm tempted to buy another A272 to see if I could implement it somehow.


    Well, I'm not that strict. I mean, I take it off once a month for a good scrubbing (both me and the cage). Again, right now I've got 90% of the script (as does Mrs Edge), so we're pretty satisfied overall.

    And it occurs to me that having been at this for so long helps too. I gave up trying to find the Holy Grail, and now find it easier to just not stress about the minor things. I'm not going to worry that I have to take it off for a long bike ride; my health is more important than that 10% of the script that doesn't mesh.
     
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  8. Steviepie
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    Steviepie Being developed for mental submission to Ms. Lucy

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    thank you for sharing Tom
     
  9. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    For the life of me I can't see how the text in red fits in. It's like it's been dropped in from a different discussion...

    As to symbolism, yes I think it is important, and I can see how people might focus on the cage as the ultimate symbol of their chastity/devotion/submission/whatever motivation they have.

    For me, the honour system floats my boat, so I don't have that physical symbol, but the same impulses arise. When I have been under the honour system and I suspected I was going to be told I could cum, I found that very difficult to deal with. It was like an ache, and I guess that's the same as what you're talking about when you contemplate removing the cage.
     
  10. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Member

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    Lester, I used the text in red to show a comparison. For me, the cage is the hamburger. Good, but not the best. The more desirable cheeseburger is the "inescapable" cage.

    Jamie
     
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  11. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    The thing for me about chastity is dilemma or the head-fuck.
    Yes I want to cum but I want to be denied more..

    Denial is simple until she says I amy I won't cum. I won't cheat.
    But. The idea of being locked so I can't cum is even better and we both agree on that
    No I would not try to defeat the device.. but having a device from which undetectable escape is impossible we both agree is even better.

    My agreeing to wear her device as instructed is my admission/ indication/ sign whatever that I have accepted and agree to being under her control.

    For her she says my wearing her device is a sign of her authority and dominance and a sign of my acceptance.

    The device and it being for all intents and purposes inescapable enhances our mutual experience and neither of us would want to be without it... at this time..and in the future who knows?
     
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  12. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Understood. Having said that, I fully realize that NO device is absolutely inescapable. Some are much more difficult than others, to the point that trying to escape would be extremely impractical. I am in an Evolution Bijou, that is fixed to my frenum piercing. It's made of hardened nylon, and the point where my piercing anchors it is completely covered by the device. So, getting it off without the key would require a specialized saw-probably some kind of power tool-and risk significant injury and blood loss. It could be done, but for all practical purposes is inescapable. That's good enough for me.
     
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  13. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Member

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    Yes! If attempted escape presents an unacceptable risk of serious personal harm and might or might not produce the intended results before that harm occurs, that (to me) qualifies as "inescapable." Then again, risk averseness - as demonstrated on a current thread regarding a welded cage - exists on a continuum.
     
  14. Ilikebond
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    I’m exactly the same way.

    Good thing that if my wife ties me I’m not getting out. Same reason I got the PA and Loris cage
     
  15. Peter Rabbit
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    Peter Rabbit I'm her bunny

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    There are physical realities in chastity security. It’s much like a safe. You can blow the door off a bank vault, but it’s going to take a lot of energy, and someone will find out. Oceans’s Eleven plot lines aside :)

    You choose how much security works for you and your partner.

    My keyholding wife didn’t really treat this chastity thing as more than a “scene” or “weekend” toy until she witnessed me getting pierced to mark myself as hers, and getting fitted into custom stainless steel chastity (our original Contender).

    Maybe it was the investment. Maybe it was my mental resolve to finally puncture a hole in my favorite toy, promise not to play with it, and give it to her. Maybe it was a message that I was serious.

    Perhaps it was a communication of intent that made this work.

    It only clicked in her head after I was ready to “actually” be secured in something I couldn’t just buy impulsively.

    Perhaps her reaction was a reflection of my own mental state.

    I’ll tell you, the first time I was secured by my PA in my Contender, it was a profound experience. That was back in 2014.

    So, with all that said, I’m also very much on the honor system. Weird, huh? I’m now locked more often than not... but just 60% of the hours since Locktober 1st 2018, for example, and just 52% of the time since I started tracking mid-2017.

    Chastity is almost a gift to help me keep my hands off my penis, and keep those caresses for her to give. It’s s Private “collar” that hugs me back when I get aroused. It reminds me that I’m owned.

    Being locked at night, now that I have a snug fitting Contender, can keep my erections held down and I can actually sleep better than when I’m just under no-touching honor system rules.

    I’ve had “flash” forgetting when I’ll grip my lower shaft, or fondle my balls in the early morning hours. But I haven’t messed up and actually stroked myself without permission for years now.

    So, I appreciate both worlds. Being trapped and not being able to slip out and cheat. And being forced to have willpower. It’s sctually a fun combination.

    I definitely get the honor system folk. Frankly, I read the “must be tied down when unlocked” as an extended scene. I believe it but I can’t imagine us doing that for the last five years! But I know so well how much it means to feel I’m in an inescapable situation.

    There’s been times when she’s gotten me to ask to be locked up, just so it’s easier for me. Chastity is support. Safety.

    The core is the power exchange from her owning all my stimulation and orgasms.
     
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  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    When we first started, it was her doing something I wanted to explore and she didn’t give a crap about security. We had dated months without using a device, so there was no immediate need for her to all of a sudden NEED a secure device.

    After a bit I was explaining how I pulled out and washed it in the shower, she said “you can just pull it out?” I said “well yeah, without it attached it’s always possible, that thing is squishy”. She had the most disappointed look. I told her I would need to have piercing attached for that not to be possible and within the week we made the appointment and got pierced.

    She also told me “well you can still get out without me” in a disappointing way. I said “yeah but you would know that I used the key” she shrugged and said “but I don’t really have control of it if you still have the option”. She had all the keys after that.

    Some of this isn’t about honor or trust, it’s about control. She wasn’t into this at all unless she had complete control. All or nothing. In or out. She thought it was pointless and borderline silly to hold on to the key of a lock I could remove at will.

    Since then she has never looked back, and I don’t see her changing her mind on me wearing the device.
     
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  17. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    @Nickoftime
    Definitely for some, My Lady included, its all about the control.
     
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