Increasing length of denial

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Staylocked, Dec 5, 2018.

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  1. Staylocked
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    Staylocked Member

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    For those of you in longer term lockup...
    How long were you and your kh playing with chastity before kh really latched on to the idea of longer term denial (roughly a month).
    We have hit 2 weeks as our longest denial to date. At first I thought it would be tough, but after a few 1-2 week denial periods, i started to realize just how down i would get the 2-5 days after my O. It's to the point where I would prefer a longer denial (albeit, with a ton of sex!) just to avoid those lows. She has little problem denying me, but still hasn't pushed me and I'm not pushing her to push me either. I have suggested that I would be okay trying for our first 30 day denial, we will get there soon i believe.
    But that brings me back to my original curiosity, how long were you playing in chastity before she decided to deny you for about a month?
     
  2. chrissie68
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    chrissie68 Member

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    Goddess tried early on but as we were learning and evolving, i got very grumpy around the 10-12 day point. Now we both understand more, a month is normal, heading into month two now and it's........wow!
     
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  3. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    just take your time and let it evolve. Don't set targets.
     
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  4. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Active member

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    I think it was around 3 months for us.
     
  5. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    And evolve it will, I'm sure!
     
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  6. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    My Lady took to her role immediately. She has to date never allowed me an orgasm.

    See the ticker...

    and NO I am not complaining
     
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  7. Staylocked
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    Staylocked Member

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    We aren't rushing, along for the ride, just curious about other couples journeys.
     
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  8. Xileh
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    Xileh Member

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    We've been at it for about one year. Her longest lockup was for a little over two weeks. Recently, she threatened to add a week. That was new and I have no idea where she got the idea from. So maybe that is the turn around point you are referring to?
     
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  9. chastity_pantyhose
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    3 days...haha i know maybe the shortest denial here...
     
  10. nrbill
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    nrbill Active member

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    When I was first locked, it was all about permanent. I knew from the start I wasn't there for any short term anything. I did have a break-in period, but once we knew I could keep it on indefinitely, it didn't come off for 5 months, except for one 5 minute edging at 40 days.
     
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  11. Open to it
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    My wife is the consummate "Good Girl." When we stated she could not say no for more than 2 or 3 days. I suggested we take the decision away from her by drawing numbers out of a hat. She decided to use playing cards and put an ace through 10 on the table and drew one. She sealed it in an envelope with the date she drew it. She wouldn't tell me what it was until after I was allowed my release. Then she would open the envelope in front of me, draw another card and repeat the process.

    The first time she drew a 3 and the second time a 2. The third time however, she drew a 10. She immediately recognized the benefits to her around day 5 but she didn't tell me until after my release. She explained to me how she noticed that I became far more attentive to her around day 5. She went on to say, "and after that it just got better and better." She declared, "We are no longer going to play the game and you are not going to cum more than once every 4 or 5 days from now on. How long you have to wait beyond that will be depend on how well you treat me."

    We never discussed the one month trial period. We started having more sex then ever before, pretty much every day. I would quickly get a hard on, she would use it to get off 4 or 5 times then kiss me and go to sleep.

    Then she showed me this meme and said she didn't even realize what had happened to her until she saw this. She said once she read it she realized "Wow that has happened to me." It said, "When we started this I would consider carefully how often I should let you cum. Now I don't really even think about it much. Your frustration rarely occurs to me anymore."

    I saw this meme recently and emailed it to my wife.

    ILikeIT.jpg

    This was her response: "I do remember the game, but we might need to try it again. This time pull two card to make 2 digit numbers instead of only 1!"

    When we discussed it she said, "The first digit draw will definitely have a 1 through 3 in it but I'm thinking maybe it should have 2 through 6. I'll think about it and let you know or maybe I will let you find out when you draw the cards." Then there was a pause before she said, "If you displease me I could remove the 2"… another pause "maybe replace it with a 7."
     
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  12. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    The biggest hurdle for us to overcome was the fact that she wanted piv sex sooner than I wanted to be unlocked, so of course, I would do what she wanted and was happy to do so.
    Once our sex life evolved to the point where she was more than satisfied with me using a strap on, long-term denial became a reality. That was about 3 years after we first started chastity play.
    In that time we did have stretches of going more than a month without sex, but that wasn't intentional and just due to job stress, schedules, etc. As you mentioned, chastity play is much more fulfilling, for most people, when there's still lots of sex, just not with the penis. A month of denial while still having lots of sex is way more delicious than a month of celibacy.
     
  13. Halm
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    We are just starting back into to chastity after about a year break. We would never lock it up for more than a couple days, although we'd use the honour system to deny orgasms over longer periods. In that way I had a mental cage on, but not a physical one. It was interesting. I would edge myself and occasionally I would fail and give myself an O, it wasn't great. The reason my wife wouldn't lock me up was that she was worried that I'd have a medical accident or something of that nature and I'd need to get out or the cage which would have been a problem and I'd need an emergency key. So that really ended our experiments for a while.

    Just before November started, we began using my birdcage again. This time though, even though we have only one key, I was allowed to keep the key in my bathroom drawer. I would lock my penis up all weekend long and every evening as soon as I got home from work or working out. So all home time was locked time. I'd get up in the morning and unlock it for the day. This has worked out, but it's not perfect.

    The birdcage is pretty good, but I find that if I clamp the hex bolt/key down completely then I get a burning / numb feeling in my balls and penis, which is not okay, but if I leave the key a little loose, the tiny bit of extra wiggle room is just enough so that I don't get the problem anymore.

    Things have changed recently. The MeToo stuff has brought some abuse to the surface that had happened when she was very young. And this revelation brought with it the very interesting observation that my wife "loves/hates" the penis. So while we are working through the psychological issues surrounding the abuse we have come to realise that locking up the beast is not just a kink for me but also a way to neutralise the threat of the penis by literally locking it away. Because she's afraid of the penis, sex has always been something to avoid, until she'd get so horny that she literally couldn't stand it anymore. But this avoidance thing wasn't because she didn't have a high libido or because she was a prude. Quite the opposite actually, as I've found out in the last month or so. During the work week we have sex at least every night and on the weekends we have two or three good sessions a day. Who does that? Especially after being married almost 20 years? I've never heard of such a thing and yet it is so.

    So now I am shut down completely. There are no orgasms. I have been told that I wouldn't get to orgasm until Christmas, but then I said something stupid and the time got extended to New Years. OMG. And to top it off I got permission to buy a holy trainer v3. Because it has an internal lock and is smooth I will be able to wear it to work and be able to be nude and snuggle my wife without her complaining that I'm poking her with any sharp ends or bits like on the bird cage. I'm presently tracking my new cage and am emotionally - equal parts excitement and trepidation. I will potentially not only be going long term without orgasms, but also long term without any sensation to my penis at all - wow and yikes!

    The up side to all this is we have for the first time in our relationship been going at the sex like maniacal 20 year olds. We've been married almost that long. And wow, I don't get to get out of my cage, but I get to hold the vibrator and massage her while we have marathon sessions. I get such a thrill out of giving her orgasm after orgasm that I'm scared to have my own orgasm for fear that the drop would take me out of this amazing glow that I've been in lately.

    So to answer your question, it's been years in the works. But once the switch was thrown it's turned into a two month no orgasm stint and that's really the first foray. She's excited for the HT cage to come and is eager to keep me locked up for good. So that warning of, "Be careful what you wish for" is nesting in my brain something fierce right about now. I don't see myself having more than a couple orgasms in 2019. That said though, I wouldn't trade this new reality of multiple sex sessions a day for the lots of self made orgasms of old.
     
  14. Beltedchastity
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    Beltedchastity New member

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    We jumped in right away? I got my belt on July of 2015 and it is still on me! I have never liked normal orgasms anyway! I wouldn't have it any other way! What I love is the periodic milkings and anal orgasms I receive!
     
  15. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    No rush, no targets. Only rule: she decides our sex life, including my erections and orgasms. My longest to date is about 2 months. Right now, we're on about 6 weeks, with no indication of stopping. I mentioned unlocking the other day and she said, "How does 2020 sound?"
     
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  16. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    [​IMG]
    Love the meme. It really sounds like my beautiful wife/KH and I. At first she said, "I don't know how long I can go without cock." After a couple of weeks, she said, "I love all the added attention I'm getting from you. I think you should stay in chastity."
     
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  17. Calibob
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    I love the meme too, because it does sum up how my wife feels about having me locked. We have practiced orgasm denial for nearly three years, coinciding with my asking her to take charge of me and our marriage. My longest stretch without an orgasm during the honor roll period, ruined or otherwise, was ten weeks. it goes without saying that she has grown to love the fact that she has final decision making power on all things, including my orgasms. For two and a half years she had me on the honor system, then one fateful morning she announce to me that I should pick out a chastity device and order one because she wanted control of not only my orgasms but erections as well. When I asked her why the change of heart, (she had said early on she was not interested in a device), she said, "Because you were touching yourself in bed this morning, and you didn't even care enough to ask if you could."

    So I bought a HT v3, and after a few short trial runs she has had me locked nearly 100% of the time since mid October. Except for my morning runs and showers, I am pretty much 24/7. She will release me for some play occasionally, and she did ruin one orgasm November 2nd. Last Saturday she allowed me out, as is our practice, when I got close to cumming I requested her to stop. She told me I could cum, and started restroking me. Again I requested for her to stop. She did saying, "If that's the way you want it", and told me to re-lock.

    It was not uncommon during the honor system for her to deny me for a month or so. Usually three weeks, and I would be treated to a full orgasm. She is very big on getting her orgasm on the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries etc, but denying me the same pleasure. Since we have been working on our wife led marriage I have not had an orgasm on our anniversary, on my birthday, on Valentines Day Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. I mentioned this to her on our anniversary this year, and she said, "So you figured that out. It's kinda sweet don't you think?"

    My wife has not been interested in piv for a number of years. She loves her orgasms though, and I love having the opportunity to give them to her on a regular basis, more so than anytime in our married history. I believe she falls into what I hope is an ever growing group of women who totally enjoy the sexual freedom they have with us locked men. I am enjoying her more now than ever in the past, and she seems to be enjoying the way things are now too. It is definitely working for us.

    Do I see longer denial periods in my future? Yeah, probably. But the denial of touching my cock is far different than the denial of orgasms. Being locked definitely ranks up high on the submissive checklist, and for good reason. Sure, I am becoming more and more used to the routine of living locked, and, as with everything else that you do long term, it being locked becomes part of you. I wonder when she will take away the unlocking for exercise and for showering. I expect that it is coming, and that's when I believe the true denial begins.
     
  18. Miss Amandas boy
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    Miss Amandas boy New member

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    Amanda does not often go past 4 days, and the average is three. Very rarely is it longer as a punishment, but as far as I know she has no plans for longer periods.
     
  19. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    After about 4 months in I got pierced. During the healing we took quite awhile off from touching me. That is when she started to receive pleasure without reciprocation. She got used to this quickly.

    Before she would be intimate with me because that is what is supposed to happen. Once she realized that she wasn’t obligated to do so, she stopped doing it unless she wanted to give me pleasure. Besides intimacy, due to my lack of endowment, there was no other reason to use it.

    So it is common to go over 30 days without being unlocked, and sometimes 2 times a week, it all depends on her desire at the time.
     
  20. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    With us, to start with it was 1, 2, 3 days up to a week. after the first year, it was days or weeks, but never more than a month, a couple of years ago we become serious about longer and longer periods, so we started on a schedule...

    We managed to get up to 3 months doing that, but when we resumed early this year, we just fell straight into permanent unless there's a good reason not to be locked.


    It doesn't have to be the number of days - you could raise the stakes of the game to how many weeks or months.
     
  21. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Active member

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    When we first started we went about a week. Then 2, then right into Locktober. I made it through the month and now it's 24/7, or when ever my Wife(KH) wants or thinks it's time for me to cum. I also started with the CB600s cage, but now have moved on to a small metal cage, which is way more comfortable to wear and easier to keep clean. If my Wife lets me cum, it is right back into the cage, so I have no time to change my mind about anything. It has now been about 10 days since my last orgasm and I'm not sure when the next one will be...
     
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  22. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    My wife says that I get grumpy and lazy after a full blown orgasm, so those are no longer allowed.
     
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  23. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    Good for her -- they're greatly over-rated anyway.
     
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  24. Cincy
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    The pleasure of being horny all the time is better than a few seconds of extreme pleasure.
     
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  25. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Active member

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    I just had this talk with my Wife(KH). I think that is why I always say "no" when she asks me if I want to have a orgasm or not...She now has me where if she just suggests of any T&D, I start to get hard in my cage...She does it sometimes when we are out shopping, then asks me if I'm a bit horny and getting hard, then laughs. knowing I aroused.
     
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