I'm just an average guy who after some real life b.s. has decided to make some changes to his life including taking his fetishes more seriously. I had an old CB-Whatever that I bought years ago and used inconsistently but didn't like the fact that I had to be released frequently to clean and got painful night time erections. I read somewhere that smaller devices can help with the latter, so I tried some cheaper devices to see if I could find something better and most of them just sucked for one reason or another. I'm currently using a Bon4 which I'm liking for the ease of cleaning factor. I'm also using a Chronovault as an alternative to leaving my keys at work and unlocking myself on a Friday if I need cleaning. The one downside is I enjoy edging and I can't really do that without frequent access to my keys. The problem with edging is that I end up wasting all of my time, batter my poor penis, and inevitably suffer a failure in willpower and bring myself to an orgasm I don't want outside of that moment. I'd love to find a woman willing to take time from her day to tie me up and edge me unmercifully. That's probably selfish of me to want since it is focused on my wants rather than what her needs might be. I'm hoping that more long term chastity might be a way of giving me those feelings of want and denial. Short and medium term (1 week to 1 month) chastity hasn't made me feel much by itself. I just feel divorced from my sexuality. Yes, that's kind of the point, but also not. At the very least, I'm more productive when I'm not wasting time masturbating or trying to have sex, so even if I don't get everything I want, I get something I want. I suppose if someone has any tips on how to combine self edging with self enforced chastity, I'd be open to them. I've considered setting a hard time limit on the edging but I have a hard time denying myself the pleasure of going deeper and deeper into denial. The irony of that isn't lost on me.
Thanks. I'm definitely going to put it on the back burner. Maybe I'll someday figure out a way to train myself to be able to do it. Maybe I'll be satisfied with long term chastity. Maybe I'll eventually hit the jackpot and find a woman willing to let me submit to her. (with or without the edging. That would obviously be up to her and her wants and needs)
Chastity is something I've dabbled in on and off much like you. Mostly self locked. I found the denial was far easier to deal with when there was no sexual stimuli. Ignore the edging. Stay away from the porn. You'll get used to it
It is definitely easier to not fail when I don't put myself in situations that set me up to failure, but I like riding that edge. I like the struggle. If it is easy, then why am I doing it? It would be different if I were doing it for someone, then easy or hard, the meaning would be in showing my devotion to that person. Of course, the not wasting time and energy in short term pleasure can have other advantages. I've had a lot more energy for a morning bike ride since I've committed to trying out a more long term denial, and that feels good.
Try this key safe: https://www.etsy.com/listing/493226661/caged-cock-chastity-security-key-safe Not perfect, but harder to get. Keep a calendar of how long you stay locked. Keep beating your own record Or get a key holder from chastikey or emlalock. If you get a metal birdcage style, you can tease yourself through the bars bot not fully masterbate. Good luck!!
I would suggest doing an exponential increase starting with time. Every time you edge and cum double the time you have to go with out. If successful with the edge (say it was 4 days going to 8), then you get to reduce it by 1. (i.e. edge without coming on days 4-8 successfuly ... you get to orgasm and the day is set to 3. Make it a game.
im still somewhat new, but i find that if im edged too long it actually decreases my hornyness short teases early and often seem to be what makes me crazy
For me there is no arguing with this, especially for long term denial and I imagine it will be also true when or IF my Lady decides my denial will be permanent.
For self locking maybe look at the ChastiKey app. There is an element of chance to the locks others make so you just lock your keys in a combination safe - less reliance on willlpower?
I agree. Edging oneself is like playing with fire. I think you said it all right there. If you really want a real key holder time to get a hold of yourself (not that way). @Unlucky you will be luckier if you listen to @L-u-c-y and stop the edging and figure out what you really want. We all have had bs in our lives, it is what you do with it that matters. Think about if you had someone right now would you behave the same way. I would rather call you lucky, sometimes we can change that luck, we just need to look outside of ourselves. I'm not being critical I would wish everyone could find the one for them, sometimes we need to get ready for that one. I truly hope you do.
One could argue that if you're regularly edging, then you're not really practising chastity at all. It sounds a bit like a diet where you don't eat between snacks.
One could argue that. I don't think that would be a productive debate since everyone has their own definition of chastity and what is allowed and you're never going to convince anyone which is right. That's all academic because I've stopped edging since I was wasting too much time, abusing my poor penis, and suffering from momentary lapses in willpower. My current goal is to see how long I can go without an orgasm and if I can comfortably stretch the amount of time between cleanings to such that I could possibly give the key to someone worthy (if I find such a woman and somehow convince her I'm worthy of her consideration) and not annoy them with requests to let me out for non-orgasm purposes.