First off, thank you for clicking through to my journal. This first entry will likely be lengthy so bear with me. The back story: My girlfriend Lauren and I have been together for four and a half years. We have known each other since high school, and although we liked each other then, we were both in committed relationships. We tried to keep in touch, but the constraints of both time and geography made us lose contact. Through fate, luck, or a combination of both. I signed in to an old IM account one day and was amazed when I received a message from her. We began chatting on a regular basis, and it was agreed that when she returned to our home state, I would take her out to dinner so we could catch up. Fast forward a few short months and you would not have found a happier couple. We were happy, in love, and full of passion. As most relationships do, we moved on to planning a future, moving in together, kids, a home, etc. But as is life, the path to bliss is often scattered with hills and mountains that must be overcome. There were times where we fought, we yelled, we questioned the very things that kept our relationship together and came very close on more than one occasion to ending it. Since then we have worked through our issues, we are at a point now where we are resolved, absolute, and undoubtedly committed to each other for the rest of our lives. We are happier I think than we have ever been. I also believe this is a pivotal point in our relationship for other reasons that I will outline in the sections below. "Let's get physical, physical, I wanna get physical": Our relationship like most started out with an insatiable thirst for each other. The sex was often, uninhibited, and hot. But again like most, it, like our relationship, has had it's ups and downs(which are undoubtedly interconnected). One thing has remained constant though throughout everything. Our openness to communicate our kinks and desires. There are several kinks we have explored together in these last four years the most recent of which was chastity. Now, when I first approached her regarding the idea of keeping me chaste, she, like most women was immediately on the defensive. She wondered why I would want to be locked up, wether this meant I no longer wanted to be sexually active with her anymore, etc. But through our discussion on the subject, she quickly realized I was not looking for abstinence, I was not looking to sever our sexual ties, but instead I was looking to embrace it, to enhance it, to relinquish all control of my sexuality to her and her alone. After she began to understand the reasons behind my desire for chastity, she agreed we could give it a go and I soon found myself locked in a CB-6000. It has been a fairly easy adjustment and I very much enjoy knowing that she has control of me sexually. Her biggest problem is her love of my orgasm. She loves it... Her favorite part of our sexual escapades is that short moment when my cock is pulsing as the cum shoots out. Denying that is something of a difficult adjustment for her.(although she seemed to enjoy the ruined orgasm she was able to produce the last time we played almost as much). A new dimension: Through our short time playing with chastity, I have been surprised by how much her dominance arouses me, not just sexually, but emotionally. It is that realization that brought a lot to the surface that I had yet to understand. I have long been someone who wants nothing more than to make her happy. In fact, I enjoy making her happy so much so that I believe a lot of the anger and frustration that has built up in the past is the result of me knowing I've somehow upset her or let her down. It is through reading posts on this forum and other sites on line that I have realized how much I truly desire being a submissive mate. Not just in the bedroom, not just on the occasional weekend "scene", but completely, without question, 24/7. I want to be her slave, the one who pampers her, the one who carries out whatever her heart desires. I want to be owned by her... As anyone with these feelings and desires knows, it is hard to communicate this feeling effectively. It is near impossible to make someone understand how unconditionally you are willing to serve them. A user here on the forum ChasteBr recently posted an "Open Letter" that I feel portrays the feelings and desires that I so much wish I could find the words to express. He speaks of the need for control, the desire for discipline, and the selflessness that being a true sub/slave is about. His closing statement is a testament to the psychology of submission and it's absolute nature: Now while I don't share his frustration with a lack of progress(Mistress Lauren is embracing her role better than I could have ever asked.) The power and truth in his words stand as a testament to my own desires. The journey ahead(Don't Stop, Believin'): I know this is a new lifestyle dynamic that will have it's ups and downs just as a "vanilla" relationship like we had in the beginning. I understand there will be trying times ahead for both of us. But through it all I hope to become her 24/7 sub/slave. I know it will take time for her to discover her dominance on her terms and learn to exercise her power without guilt, but with each new step and limit she is willing to push the boundaries of, I will be here. I will be by her side ready and willing to be in her servitude to any extent which she desires. :anim_32: Here's to our new life, our passion, our future, and to my unending love and devotion to the woman I wish to serve. Stay tuned... :heart: