In My Wife's Service

The approach you suggest sounds reasonable. I am inclined to respect my wife’s decision for now and see where it leads us. I know that she loves me very much and believes what she is doing is best for our relationship, so I need to trust her. If she finds she has problems keeping me motivated or senses a lot of resentment, she may have to take steps to remedy the situation. There aren’t a lot of options left for her, so I can’t imagine what those steps might be. It would be interesting to find out.

 

When it comes to chastity, my wife isn’t particularly sentimental. She used to release me if I had behaved well all month. She didn’t think my recent behavior had merited releases on my birthday or our anniversary. She was kind and loving both days, but no sex.

 

24. New Year’s Update

It now has been 268 days since my last planned orgasm, which my wife painfully administered on April 15, 2018. Since then, I have worn a chastity device continuously except for four nights in September when we took a short vacation in Las Vegas. She scarcely touched my penis during the trip, and she informed me shortly afterward of her intention to keep me permanently caged and denied. I have had two accidental orgasms since then. Both were ruined orgasms that occurred while my penis was caged. Over time, she has become adroit at teasing and keeping me on the edge, and she assures me that even ruined orgasms will soon be a thing of the past.

After several years of chastity training, being permanently denied hasn’t been that difficult. I have to admit that my wife and I have been getting along better than ever, and she has never given me more attention. It is just that I will never again be allowed to ejaculate or have my penis released from its cage. Of course, that means she is mostly limited to playing with my testicles and groin area. She has stroked the tip of my penis, which is not covered by my cage, but she says it isn’t particularly sensitive to her touch. She does not milk my prostate, so my seminal emissions are restricted to what drips out of my penis during our playtimes, and I am kept in a state of perpetual arousal.

Since September, I have had time to reflect on what factors may have contributed to her intent to keep me permanently caged and denied. She said she had made the decision shortly before we left for Las Vegas. I recall the evening we were prepared to celebrate the recent sale of our house. At the last minute, there was a minor snag in the deal. I was stressed-out, exhausted, and a bit drunk, and I voiced my frustrations a little too loudly. I am sure that was the last straw. At this point, the cause isn’t important. I am sure she wasn’t motivated by vengeance. Instead, she took steps she thought were in our best interests as a couple, and there will be no turning back.

We completed the move to our new home a few days before Christmas. Once again, we were exhausted, and my wife began focusing all her energy on unpacking and setting up the house. For about a week, she wasn’t very affectionate, and we hardly touched each other in or out of bed. When we were finally rested enough to resume sex play, it was clear she wanted to continue where we had left off. She expected a lengthy session of foot worship, so I positioned myself so I could massage her feet and legs while licking her soles. This time, however, she didn’t play with my balls. She confined herself to lightly touching and stroking the sensitive skin around my genitals. My balls weren’t touched except when she incidentally brushed her hands against them. It was excruciatingly frustrating, and I was hoping she wouldn’t make this new technique a permanent part of her repertoire.

She declined to give my balls any attention for two or three more days. When I asked her why, she said that I had been moody for several days, and she had no intention of rewarding me for my conduct. Here I thought she was the one who had been moody! But I protested only briefly. It doesn’t matter if I think I am right as long as she thinks she is right and it’s her prerogative to punish me.

When Sunday arrived, she indicated she wanted to take a “nap” with me later in the afternoon. That is the signal that she is planning on having me lick her pussy to orgasm. She usually begins those sessions by kissing me and playing with my testicles for a half hour or so until she is ready for me to go down on her. Her behavior that afternoon can only be described as sadistic. Using both hands, she continued to squeeze and pull on my balls harder than ever before. I was yelping and flopping around in a futile attempt to escape her grasp. I quickly became concerned about how swollen and painful my balls would be the next day.

For several minutes, I made no attempt to resist what she was doing to my testicles, and the torture went unabated. Eventually, however, such rough play provoked a competitive urge from within me, and my male ego began to emerge from its slumber. Although I didn’t dare lay a hand on her, I desperately wanted to put her in her place. Instinctively, I tried to climb on top of her, very much wanting to rape the hell out of her. Of course, that was a foolish notion given my penis was securely contained within its steel cage. In any case, my efforts were useless. I never got my penis within a foot of my wife’s pussy before she pulled me off her with one mighty tug on my balls. At that moment, I realized it was pointless to remain engaged in a physical test of wills with an opponent whose hands were locked tightly around my balls. Wishing to avoid further injury to my testicles and my ego, I slowly backed away from her, and she released her grip on me.

Having capitulated, it was time for me to pay homage to the goddess. I knelt between her legs and began to move my face toward her pussy, but she clamped her legs tightly together. I asked for permission to eat her out, and she responded by asking me if I thought I deserved the privilege. I said yes, and she asked why. All I could think of saying was, “Because I have submitted to you.” Her reply was full of sarcasm—“Really?” I didn’t know if she disliked my answer or was skeptical about the extent to which I had submitted to her, particularly given I had just tried to mount her. I hesitated for a moment and decided it was best to say no more.

Instead, I made another move toward her pussy. This time, she permitted me access by spreading her legs. I went to work, and I had to lick a long time before she had an orgasm. As I licked and sucked her clitoris, my nose was pressed firmly against her mons, and I could feel the tension building. I was afraid I might get smacked when she finally exploded, but I managed to stay out of the way when her convulsions began. The next day, she told me that her orgasm had been a very good one. I was happy that I had probably earned my way back into her good graces.

I’m not sure why she treated me so roughly that afternoon. She may have tortured me as part of my punishment for having been moody, and that explanation is consistent with her initial refusal to let me eat her out. On the other hand, she may have engaged in rough play because she thought it was something I would like. After several years of experimentation, she has concluded that I like it when she plays rough with me (or at least my genitals seem to respond positively to it). However, the manner in which she handled me that afternoon was unlike anything I had experienced before.

I suspect that she indulged in such rough treatment simply to prove that she could get away with it. Since last fall when she informed me that she would no longer allow me orgasms or releases, I have never seriously challenged her authority, but we experienced a temporary suspension of sexual activities because of the move. Once we resumed sex play, she may have felt a need to reassert her dominance, and the rough play that afternoon was intended to signal that we are going to proceed as before with her totally in charge. It is as if she were saying, “I am going to be very rough with you this afternoon, and there is nothing you can do about it because I am in charge and I can do whatever I want!”

We haven’t had a lot of play sessions since that Sunday afternoon because she left on a trip three days later. She did play with my testicles quite a bit the next day, and I was relieved that they weren’t swollen, painful, or overly sensitive. Thanks to my wife, I have come to learn that my balls are much tougher than I could have imagined.

The greatest change in our sex life since last fall has been that my wife now expects to have her feet worshipped almost every morning. It provides her a relaxing way to begin the day. Because of this new focus on her feet, we haven’t engaged in ass worship for quite a while, and I have found myself thinking about it this week while she has been gone. It has been lonely walking around an empty house still wearing my chastity device when my wife isn’t around. Of course, I have missed her playing with me. However, I think I miss the intimacy chastity has brought to our relationship even more, and I never feel more intimate with my wife than when I am worshipping her ass. I can’t think of a better way to welcome her home tomorrow night.

 

25. No More Happy Endings

I thought it was about time to check in. It now has been 409 days—or 1 year, 1 month, and 14 days—since my wife last unlocked me to play with my penis. Since my last update, on January 8, I have been kept in my cage continuously except for a brief release for a medical appointment two months ago.

My only other release was last September when she removed my chastity device just before we flew to Las Vegas for four nights. A few days after that trip, she informed me that she had recently decided to keep me locked up and denied—for good. Within the first two or three months of that announcement, she twice accidentally caused me to ejaculate in my cage when she teased me a bit too long. She assured me that even accidental ejaculations would soon become a thing of the past as she gained more experience. She seems to have made good on that promise as I have not received an orgasm of any sort for over a half year despite being teased at least twice daily.

It is obvious she very much enjoys keeping me caged and denied, and she absolutely loves playing with my testicles for some reason. Recently, she started torturing my balls for a half hour or so before allowing me to worship her pussy, revealing a sadistic element of her personality that was hidden before now. Everything she does is based solely on her enjoyment; my desires are of no importance. And, as she has reminded me numerous times, there will be no turning back.

I have some additional thoughts I had wanted to share, but I have run out of time for now. Early tomorrow morning, the two of us are leaving on a four-day bus trip, and I need to begin packing.

I have been told that I will not be wearing my chastity device on the trip, so I expect her to remove it in the morning just before we leave for the bus. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t think she will touch my penis, and she certainly won’t allow me to stick it in her. My birthday is on the second day of the trip, so it is interesting to speculate. That night, I will be naked in bed with her in a hotel, and my penis will be out for the first time in eight months. Still I don’t expect any special privileges. After all, there have been many birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays the past two or three years, and none of them has resulted in a suspension of the rules.

Hopefully, I will be able to report on the trip and my birthday when I write more in a few days.

 

26. Happy Birthday

I wrote my last post on May 30 just before my wife and I left for a four-day bus tour during which I expected to be uncaged for the first time since last September. Because my birthday would occur during the trip, I wondered if my wife might play with my penis some while it was out. The following was written right after we returned from the trip. Unfortunately, I have been unable to post it until now because of problems that unexpectedly arose with remodeling our house.

Our alarm sounded at 5:30 a.m. on Thursday, 40 minutes before we planned to leave the house to meet the bus. About five minutes before we left, my wife produced the key to my chastity device and unlocked me. I quickly headed to the bathroom to wash off my genitals. To make sure my penis didn’t smell, I sprayed cologne on it. What a mistake! The freshly exposed skin was very sensitive, and the cologne really stung.

It was strange traveling without being caged. I experienced a few erections while my penis was stimulated by my clothing as the bus bounced up and down on the road. I appreciated being able to urinate without having to sit on a toilet when we stopped to use the restrooms in the rest areas, but the first time I unzipped my trousers, I realized I had forgotten that the brand of undershorts I have worn for the past couple years doesn’t have openings in the front.

When my wife and I went to bed in our hotel that night, we both were tired, but she played with my loose testicles for a few minutes before rolling me over to sleep. Occasionally, I thought she was starting to play with my penis, but I was mistaken. All I was feeling was her wrist brushing up against it while she played with my balls. She apparently wasn’t interested in my penis, but I wasn’t too disappointed because I knew she was tired and my birthday wasn’t until the next day.

The following morning, we both awoke about 45 minutes before the alarm. My wife wished me a happy birthday, and we started to kiss. After we kissed for a while, I realized she wasn’t going to touch my genitals until I began pleasuring her. I wasn’t too keen on licking the soles of her feet like I do most mornings because she had been walking around barefoot on the carpeting in our hotel room the night before. So I climbed over her and began licking her anus (ironic, right?). That was the key. She immediately reciprocated by playing with my testicles. Once again, she didn’t touch my penis except when her wrist incidentally brushed against it.

So my birthday began with me licking my wife’s ass for 45 minutes! Still, I hadn’t given up hope because I thought she still could have plans for me when we went to bed that night. While we were out and about that morning, she seemed especially happy, relaxed, and loving, due in part, I’m sure, to the anal massage she had received from my tongue.

Despite that, I received no birthday favors that night. Once again, she played with my balls without touching my penis, just as if it were still in its cage and in a manner consistent with how she has handled all birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays the past several years. Instead of using the opportunity to provide me a birthday treat, she used it to reaffirm and demonstrate her control over my penis.

While we were still in bed the next morning, I asked her why she wasn’t willing to play with my unlocked penis on my birthday. She replied, “I don’t even have a penis for you to play with, so why should I have to play with yours?” I said, “But I give you orgasms by licking your clitoris, and I don’t have a clitoris.” She shot back, “And that’s why I play with your balls all the time.”

The real reason she refuses to play with my penis is that she doesn’t like the way I behave after I have an orgasm and she is afraid that playing with my penis will lead to one. I’m sure she thought it was even riskier to play with my penis on the trip because she couldn’t lock it up for the night once she finished with it.

On Sunday afternoon, after we returned home, she sat on the edge of the bed waiting for me to put on my scrotal ring and present my penis to her so she could lock it back up. After four days out of my cage, I wasn’t sure I was ready to be locked up indefinitely and subjected to her incessant teasing. As she stretched an old sock over my penis in preparation for pulling it back into its cage, I asked her if she thought it was really necessary to lock me back up. She cheerfully answered “Yep!” and continued with what she was doing.

I still wasn’t sure I was ready for a long-term lockup the next morning, so I asked her what would be the harm of unlocking me and allowing me to remain free for a few more days. She said she always was willing to unlock me anytime I asked, but each free day would cost me a month of “sanctions.” What she meant is that for every day I was free, I would have to serve a month in my chastity device during which she wouldn’t touch me or provide me any sort of sexual pleasure. So if I went a week without wearing my device, she wouldn’t touch me that week or for the next seven months after I was locked back up. Needless to say, I didn’t ask to be released, and I am still wearing my device.

 

27. Her Patience Is Wearing Thin

Recently, I have continued to ride my bike outside although the temperatures have been below freezing for the past few days. That means I have had to wear a pair of warm-ups over my cycling shorts. As a result of the extra clothing and cold temperatures, I have had a problem with one of my testicles popping out from between my scrotal ring and penis cage. Once in the shower, I have had to pull my penis and other testicle out, sometimes rather painfully. I then clean and dry my device and leave it on my wife’s side of the bed. When we go to bed, she unlocks the ring and throws it over to me. I pull my penis and testicles through it and present myself to her so she can pull my penis into its cage with an old sock before locking me back up. She never has enjoyed having to lock me back up, I guess, because she doesn’t like touching my penis, more on principle than for any other reason.

For several years, before I had adjusted to riding my bike while caged, she was quite willing to release me for a ride and lock me back up before we went to bed. I regularly rode over 25 miles a day to work and back, so it was pretty much a daily routine. Lately, however, she hasn’t been that patient. Last night, she came into the bedroom to find my chastity device on the bed for the third night in a row. While she was locking me up, she said, “We will need to talk about a punishment tomorrow night if I have to do this again.”

Probably the only thing she can do to punish me is to refuse to play with my testicles for a few days given she already keeps me caged continuously and hasn’t let me out for an orgasm in over eighteen and a half months.

Part of me wanted a testicle to slip out again while I was bicycling this afternoon, just to see what she would come up with for punishment. However, I ended up trying to please her by dispensing with my padded cycling shorts and riding side-saddle, so to speak. I anticipate more accidents. Winter has just begun, and given how much I ride, I need to wear padded shorts some of the time to avoid chafing. Meanwhile, her patience is wearing thin.

 

Rectrix and krystalasbaby: I appreciate your feedback and found it helpful. I have always suspected the problem might be the distance between my ring and cage. Several years ago, I had the gap shortened on advice that it would eliminate the burning I was experiencing at the time, and I have always regretted that decision. There already seemed to be more than enough room in the gap for the top of my scrotum, and it has been a long time since my device has given me any serious discomfort.

I do fine during the warm months and only have problems with slipping out when it is cold and I add clothing. I think the issue is exacerbated both by the additional layers of fabric pulling on my testicles as I ride and shrinkage due to the cold. My chastity device is starting to show some wear, and I think that too contributes to my problems. I have worn the same stainless steel device continuously for several years. For the past couple years, I have been able to twist my ring back and forth no matter how much my wife tightens the security screw. We have talked about purchasing a new device, and if we do, I will plan on ordering a smaller gap.

 

krystalasbaby: Thanks for the additional information and your recommendation. I have had my eye on a Rigid Chastity Model 05 for quite a while. However, it requires a Prince Albert piercing, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Right now, it wouldn't cause a problem as I am kept in a cage full-time, but I don’t like thinking of myself in a nursing home years from now with urine leaking out a second hole in my penis. I’m also not sure about the device you recommend because I don’t have a small ball sack. The girth of my scrotum is actually fairly large compared to that of my penis, and I think that may contribute to one of my testicles popping out when I am on my bike.

 

28. One Night of Freedom

I began this post about three months ago. I haven’t found time to finish until just now.

In October, my wife and I took an overnight trip to attend a concert in another city as part of a belated celebration of our wedding anniversary. A couple days before the concert, we received an email from the venue with seating information. It suggested that we might be frisked with a handheld metal detector when entering the facility. So when we got out of bed the morning of the concert, my wife unceremoniously unlocked my stainless steel chastity device and left me to remove it prior to showering.

When I took the cage off, I was alarmed by the sight of my penis. It was pale and pasty looking, and it was misshapen from having been locked up continuously for over four months. There also was a milky white band of what I assumed was either soap or dried seminal emissions where the cage had been. I was relieved that my penis assumed its proper shape by the time I entered the shower, and the white scale peeled right off with a wet washcloth.

Needless to say, I washed my penis and testicles thoroughly while in the shower. I didn’t get an erection, but I did manage to masturbate for a few minutes using the soapy water as a lubricant. My chastity training must have kicked in because I was careful to quit playing with myself before I ejaculated. When I finished my shower, I cleaned my chastity device and placed it in a plastic bag in my luggage.

That evening, after the concert and while we were getting ready for bed, I slipped on my scrotal ring and presented myself to my wife so she could lock me back up. She seemed surprised that I had brought my device along, and she insisted that she didn’t want me to wear it until we returned home the next day. She said I deserved a night out of my cage once in a while.

I wished she had locked me back up. Although she refrained from touching my penis, she began playing with my testicles as soon as we climbed into bed. My penis always seemed to be in the way, and without my scrotal ring holding my testicles together, it was difficult for her to play with me in the usual manner. It would have been more pleasurable if I had been caged.

Then came a restless night. I repeatedly woke up with a raging hard, and with my wife beside me in bed, there was little I could do with it. I was thankful that my penis was still functional after so long in a cage, but the constant erections became an unwelcome distraction. I would have preferred my penis to have been tucked safely away so I could focus on sleep.

The next morning, we had some time to mess around in bed before breakfast. I was already erect before my wife began touching me. Erect, my penis was even more in the way, and without my scrotal ring, playing with my testicles wasn’t that satisfying for either of us.

So for my amusement, I began trying to persuade my wife to play with my penis. I took it for granted that I wouldn’t be successful because she has always made it clear that she has no interest in touching it. She reiterated her reasons for refusing to play with it, and I pointed out that it would be easy for her because it was already out of its cage and erect. I knew better than to continue pestering her about it, and I was about to quit when she surprised me. She said she would play with my penis for a little while, but I must warn her if I were about to ejaculate.

She began lightly stroking the underside of my erection, and after only four or five strokes, I suddenly let out a single spurt of ejaculate. She angrily exclaimed, “I knew you wouldn’t warn me!” Then she rolled over and hopped out of bed. She thinks I betrayed her trust, and I am sure it will be a long time before she is willing to touch my penis again, if ever.

Nonetheless, we had a pleasant morning of shopping before having lunch and driving home. At bedtime, I was locked back up, and I have remained locked up since then. I am sure she thought she was being good to me by letting my penis out for a night, but I would have been better off if she had kept me caged.

 

I just came across your comment today. Oh wow! I can't believe I haven't posted anything here in over a year. I am alive and well--and still in chastity. I have been meaning to post an update for some time. Right now, I am working on a paper for work. Once I finish it, I will try to catch up. Thanks for your interest.

 

My life has been fairly busy lately, so I just now saw your post. I hope to add an update to my journal sometime after April 15 (an important chastity anniversary), but meanwhile I will respond to two of your comments. First, COVID-19 has increased our chastity play. I am working at home, so our mornings are more flexible. In addition, my wife needs more time before she is ready to get out of bed and face the day. So most mornings, she plays with me for at least an hour! I will provide details in my next journal entry. More access? As in being released, or access to my penis? None whatsoever! Just a lot of ball play. Second, I find your comments on the white residue interesting. My cage is stainless steel, so I can’t monitor the accumulation. I wash my genitals (at least the portions that are accessible) with a body wash when I shower, and I am fairly confident that the residue is body wash that gets trapped behind the corona of my glans. Once I have peeled the residue off, the skin has looked normal. I have never had a problem with chafing. Thanks for the good wishes.

 

29. A Timetable

April 15 represented an anniversary of a major milestone in my chastity life. April 15, 2018, was the last time my wife released my penis from its cage for sex play. I remember the date because it was tax day here in America. She removed my cage and masturbated me to an orgasm. As of today, it has been 3 years and 11 days since I have been released for any sort of sex.

Thinking of that day led me to comb through my journal and search our old credit card statements to construct a timetable that chronicles our chastity journey. In the future, I may attempt to create a narrative in which I recount the steps my wife took to enslave my penis. Meanwhile, I soon hope to offer an update in which I describe our current routines.

Our timetable:

• July 21, 2020: We order a CB-6000. When I suggest we experiment with chastity, my wife is enthusiastic, and she encourages me to purchase a device. She had not been supportive when I made a similar suggestion several years earlier. She is excited when we begin playing with the CB-6000, and she urges me to order something more permanent, like a Lori chastity tube.

• March 10, 2011: We order a Pet Trap from Mature Metal. Our experiments with the CB-6000 and a Birdlocked device have not been entirely successful, and my wife encourages me to purchase something better.

• July 1, 2011: We initiate a six-month chastity contract. Once I am comfortable wearing my Pet Trap, my wife wants to experiment with keeping me locked up on a long-term basis. So we negotiate and sign a trial six-month contract that includes monthly releases.

• January 1, 2012: Our contract is extended for several months. When our trial contract expires, my wife suggests that I will agree to an extension if I want any chance of sex with her. The extension will run until May 2012 when we are scheduled to take a long overseas trip.

• July 1, 2012: We start a new six-month contract. When we return from our trip in late June, my wife begins writing a new six-month contract to begin on July 1. She is confident that I will sign the new contract once I understand the alternative, and she advises me that it will be in my best interests to wear my chastity device while waiting for the contract. She informs me that she wants to keep me in chastity on a permanent basis for the rest of our marriage. She will continue to write a new contract every six months, but only because that will give her an opportunity to revise the terms on a regular basis.

• December 31, 2012: Our contract expires. My wife has no longer been releasing me once a month despite the provision in our contract. When the contract expires, she says that she has been working on a new one and expects me to remain in my cage while I wait. However, I am never given anything to sign. Instead, in late February, she informs me that there will be no more contracts. She does not want her control limited by an agreement. She intends to keep me locked up and suggests that I cooperate. She will never again have sex with me unless she is in complete control.

• March 22, 2015: We have intercourse for the last time. It has been over a year since we have engaged in intercourse. My wife releases me to shave my genitals for the first time in months. She works over my penis until it stings. Then she mounts me and rides me to an orgasm. This will be the last time my penis is inside her, but I will not know that for three more years.

• July 10, 2016: She thanks me with a final blow job. My wife has still been releasing me almost daily before I go cycling. She hates having to uncage me so often, so I have been working hard to get where it is no longer necessary. As a reward, she gives me a fantastic blow job. I suspect it may be my last, and I am right. Now that I no longer need to be released, she sees little reason for it.

• April 15, 2018: She releases me for my last orgasm. My wife uncages me, grabs my sore penis, and pumps it hard until I ejaculate. I do not think either of us knows that this will be my last release for sex until she makes an important decision later in the fall.

• November 2, 2018: I realize I am going to be denied permanently. Over drinks, my wife makes it clear that she will no longer release my penis for sex play and intends to deny me orgasms permanently. From now on, I will only be released for travel and medical purposes. She says she made the decision in September before we left on a short vacation in Las Vegas. She had mentioned her intentions in October, but I thought she was teasing. Tonight, she states her intentions in an unequivocal and convincing manner.

Over the past two and a half years, she has made good on her promises.

 

I just noticed a mistake in our timeline. We ordered a CB-6000 on July 21, 2010 (not 2020).