In a bit of a rut the past few weekends....any advice from other kh's?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mrs Jones, Apr 18, 2010.

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  1. Mrs Jones
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    Mrs Jones Junior Member

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    Hello, all. I do not get a chance to post or visit the site as much as I'd like and I miss the support and good advice when I'm absent. Here is my issue-

    Being in my forties and having a few health issues, working full time and raising 2 children when hubby is away all week, I'm finding that at certain times my mental and physical energy are low. I have had some constant joint pain recently. This is becoming frustrating because it is keeping me off of my "A" game, so to speak. I know this because it has affected the past few weekends when hubby is home. I try, to the best of my ability, not to let it interfere with us, but recently it has and I'm finding hubby being a little bratty and frustrated because he isn't getting the attention he needs to keep him motivated. On top of that, He has also been more physically and mentally exhausted himself, and is about to leave for the next two weeks. He had high expectations for this weekend, knowing he would be gone. I hate when he goes for an extended period, so I become moody and a little unbearable, too. Unfortunately, our physical issues and emotional issues have gotten in the way. The result? The house is a mess, there has been little cooperation, lots of little arguments, and neither of us has been "feeling the love." How do you cope when these perfect little storms culminate and how do you get things back to where they need to be?
     
  2. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Hi Mrs J

    Yeah, it takes some serious effort sometimes to be the Boss but that's what you are here so first off - don't tolerate bratty behaviour even if he is frustrated and you are tired. Remember, re enforcement of your FemDomme doesnt always need to be hugley physically taxing or even that sexual believe it or not. Giving him "attention" doesn't just have to be the latex dresses and a crop of fantasy, it can be simple re enforcement of his submission to you. Be creative. Have him sit at your feet when you watch a film together with a collar on. It sounds cruel to do this to a man who is exhausted with work but it will allow him to recharge his batteries for the time he is with you. If your joints are achy, he should be runnng a bath for you, massaging you and generally serving you - not demanding you see to his needs because serving your needs ARE his needs. He will benefit from your strong leadership here - even if you don't feel like doing it sometimes and just want an easy life.

    If he is so tired, then more gentle activities such as forced restriction (where he has no choice but to relax and stay still) could maintain the sexual tension whilst requiring lower levels of energy from both of you. Perhaps you could look into objectification - this is where your husband is treated pretty much as an inanimate object such as a footstool. My hub found this to be very calming but it may not be for you so do a bit of research first. From his earlier posts he does want to submit to you and will find rest and peace in doing so before working away.

    While he is away, tease him by text, enjoy the power you have over him from long distance and he will be excited to come home to you and start over again.
     
  3. Mrs Jones
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    Mrs Jones Junior Member

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    Thank you for your response. This helps to put my mind in the right place. (I really enjoyed some of your ideas!) :)
     
  4. wishful4
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    wishful4 Member

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    Life Gets in the Way!

    Mrs Jones, My KH & I are having the same problem. I wish there was a magic bullet to handle the realities of daily life, but there is not. We awoke this morning saying that we need to relax today and spend some together time. We are building a new house so, before you know it, the phone was ringing, this and that was happening, and we were going 110mph again. Then the day was over and we are both exhausted. Doesn't leave much time or energy for anything else. We have discussed and made promises many times about setting our priorities differently and putting our relationship higher up on the list, but the reality is, it is the easiest promise to welch on for either of us. We tend to bend our schedule for everyone else. Like your spouse, I work away from home, but that's about to end soon, so maybe this will be a chance to really change things for the better. We have been flirting and experimenting with chastity and the FLR, and I think she knows what I want. We do communicate and that's important. I love her deeply and want want nothing more than to serve her and make her happy. If you figure out that magic bullet, let us know. Both you and your spouses posts are very well written and a very enjoyable and helpful read. Best of luck!!
     
  5. Mrs Jones
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    Mrs Jones Junior Member

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    Thanks for the response, wishful4. I will definitely let you know if we find a magic solution, but I doubt that will be the case...lol. I'm assuming that anything good does not come easy, so it's just going to take some extra creative energy and communication. Best of luck to you and yours, also.
     
  6. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    If the house is in a mess, why not have him tody it up a bit: could improve the mood for you both?
     
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