I'm not married to chastity..

Hi. Do whatever works for you. There are no rules. If I am in control I like a two week maximum. After that it starts to get a bit dull for me. The arousal drops off and the fun part goes with it. I usually do one or two week stints.

If someone else is in control that is a whole different situation of course.

Anyway - just enjoy it.

 

Mistress and I have tried several lock/unlock/lock cycles and She has determined that the primary reason for my being locked in the first place is to prevent my wanking when She is at work or otherwise not around. Therefore, we now have a daily ritual in which I am locked in the morning before She leaves for work and, if I complete my chore list, I am unlocked on Her return home. But, I keep my ring in place 4/7 and, as a reminder of my femininity, I wear a pink ribbon on my clitty when it's not caged. It is wound behind the ring for security. This has worked well for us for several months now and She is quite pleased with the attention that She gets in the evenings.

 

Welcome
And remember many folks online are fakes and phonies. So a lot of what you read is BS
So you need to filter a lot of it out
Yes a few can do really long times, but it's really difficult. So do what works for you and have fun with your journey, it won't always be easy, but it'll be yours and you'll relish it if you don't try and do what other do or claim.

 

I self lock just because I like the constricted feeling and the low level stimulation it gives....My SO is not interested in a caged cock....she just wants her pussy stretched.....so I just slip it n a few hours at a time when she is not expected.

 

Chastity is very different without an key holder which is why most who self lock come and go very quickly. It is difficult to be both warden and prisoner. The chastity fetish starts off with a power exchange. It is still having regular sex but without an orgasm for you. You endure chastity to please or obey your key holder. What self lockers do is more aptly named celibacy since there is no power exchange or no one to have sex with while being kept orgasm free.

Celibacy is a solo activity that is done to remain orgasms and sex free. Chastity on the other hand, requires two people and is built upon the power exchange and control of the male penis by a key holder. They are equally valid fetishes but not the same. The elements that make chastity enjoyable are missing when you lock up yourself. There is no one to give control to, to please by having control over your penis or to give you immense pleasure but no orgasm.

Labels aside, self locking is like being into S&M but you whip yourself and you endure the pain for yourself and not for your Mistress. You do end up getting whipped but it is very different when done as an act of submission to someone else.

In the end, whatever gives you pleasure is the right thing for you to do, and labels be damned. I have always made up my own fetish play in a way that I enjoyed and not according to som unofficial rules. However, it seems from your post that you are not enjoying chastity and I hope I provided some reasons as to why that may be. Just like me practicing S&M on my own, it was much better when I found a partner to play with me. It then took on a different character and gave me a reason to endure it. Good luck and just do what you want. Do not feel that just because you are TG, that you need to lock it up.

 

You have to consider that in relation to long term chastity for some people the denial is the reward and extending that time is the goal for for both the locker and the locked.
I do see that couples that do practice what may be called the shorter periods of denial are pretty much in the

That can be good for some, singles and/or couples. Great even and all they want of of TTTWD . When I say 'all' I'm not implying anything other than it is suffice. I'm certainly not criticising anyone's play or lifes style.

The experience for both partners what ever the dynamic in all relationships is pretty much unique as is what they find may interest them enough to want experiment. The motivations, or lack of, for experimenting are also different as is what people discover about themselves and each other.
Longer periods of being denied, whether or not locked, is more for some and is less for others. Neither are right or wrong. Difficulties only really arise when the parties involved want different things. Fantasy aside for the majority Like anything else in a relationship discussion negotiation and compromise are key.

The reality of what one experiences will doubtless be different from the fantasy but not necessarily either off putting or encouraging there being so much in play to alter circumstances for individuals whether or not within a couple.

The same goes for self locking, long or short term. Its not for everyone and is different again from having a Key Holder and just having some one that holds the key is different again from being in a relationship and all the permutations of what they can involve.

Besides the one denied one experiences different effects from the chemistry taking place within ones own body the range of changes differs with the person and length of denial. As do the effects of those changes within that individual on their partner if they have one

The idea of anyone or couples conception of chastity play or their realtionships with it and how it applies to them being somehow better that of another single or couple is rubbish. It is each to their own, but whilst it is obviously different more often than not it is like so many things both vanilla and otherwise usually better with 2 players but not always for everyone.

Just as long or short term denial is different things to different people.

 

Some go a very long time indeed. There are also some fantasists.

We are all different but I would recommend you try for at least a week and see how that feels. Experiment and find what works and keep pushing until you find a limit.