I'm a DOM how do I ajust

If you get caged, it will switch that submission switch on.
I’m looking into a PA as well so I can’t remove

 

I also am a Master who now has 2 full time slaves. I also wear a cage through out the day and a cock ring at night. As for control of how when and what I wear is totally my decision and nothing to go with my slaves wants or wishes.
I under stand that you are both switch, but that sounds like it is a little bit more than just switching. To me it sounds like your sub is trying to reverse your rolls making you the submissive party in the relationship.

 

I agree with Lovemetal...it sounds like your "sub" likes what she has and wants to keep it..you...all to herself.
Leaving out that it turns you on....O predict that when she gets you pierced and locked and she has the power to let you out...your "DOM" is going to be reduced to you pretending to ravish her....you'll both know the real truth when she immediately locks you back up again and exerts her superiority again.
I had a friend like this one time...she could only orgasm if her partner was ROUGH...like choked out rope burns, black eyes and week long bruising....but to be her lover every other minute of the day you were expected to step and fetch and curry favor at her whim.
The men that stayed around her were all submissive...and evidently incredible actors when it suited HER.

 

Time for you both to sit down and have a very honest open discussion.

 

I would just let it play out and see what happens. Good luck.

 

You said it " This is beyond Fantasy"
Keep in mind, Safe Sane and Consensual

 

Given that you're normally a dom and would be assuming a very sub position, in being locked up, I would recommend that you try getting locked in a non-PA cage first and see how it goes. Granted, it won't have the same level of security, but just imagine going and getting pierced and then 3 days into wearing the cage you decide this isn't for you?

But to answer your first question, once you get locked up under her control, I think you can turn in your dom cards, lol. You'll go from being "a switch" to being "switched".

 

Welcome to the group. Your story so far sounds very interesting. I don’t have anything new to add to the advice already given, but I’m on board to hear how this plays out. Good luck

 

Acceptance is a bitch.

Accepting her control, whether it's a day, a week, or a month of staying locked and denied, is definitely the hardest part.

Find a way to do that and you'll do great.

Until then I find distracting oneself with productive uses of time are best.

 

I hope for you her rebellion succeeds - scary perhaps at first, but also with a lot of gratification

 

@Cageddaddy : I wouldn't worry about having a relationship that works based on generic definitions like "DOM" and "sub". Communicate with your partner, and set realistic goals that work for both of you. It is essentially the same thing as setting hard and soft limits for things.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

As already said, just go with it!

 

In retrospect, our responses were pretty predictable LOL

 

Welcome.

 

Welcome

 

Addressing the elephant in the room: what, exactly, is triggering her jealousy? Do you know? Does she? Does she have reason not to trust you, in specific, with other women? Has she been cheated on before? Are there specific women you associated of whom she has reason to be suspicious? Are you two in a monogamous relationship, or some other style? Are there negotiated guidelines and, if so, have you both been keeping to them?

If her reason for wanting control over your cock jealousy, I'd advised addressing that first before pressing on into chastity. Is she seeing a therapist with whom she can discuss her jealousy? Are you open to couples therapy? The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom provides a list of sex-positive and kink-aware professionals, if you're interested in finding any near you.

In the meantime, Sarah Jameson's "Be Careful What You Wish For" takes a less D/s focus to chastity, making it more about vanilla couples who are interested in it. Similarly, the concept of "devotional sex" works from the idea that the man knows how many orgasms he'd like to have per month and the woman becomes a sort of manager of them, helping to guide and encourage him towards his goal while reaping benefits for herself.

Once you two of figured out where this jealousy business is coming from, if you're still interested in trying chastity these resources may help address the concept of ownership of your penis - whether intact or modified.

Good luck, however you decide to proceed.

 

You always have the best comments and material! it’s amazing.

 

It's perfectly possible for two people to perform both dom and sub roles at the same time.

One, or both, may lock the other up in inescapable chastity.
One may be much physically stronger and so dominates physical play.
One may be masochistic and the other sadistic, the masochist might be the physically stronger one.
One may have control of the joint finances, that's not necessarily the one who earns the most.
One may control when and how sex happens, or the other does in different circumstances.
(In your case, she wants to deny you having sex when she's not around, but when you're together, it's your call)

Mix and match all those options (plus any others I haven't mentioned) as you will; There's no rulebook for how any relationship is run, only that the things that you enjoy doing and that your partner enjoys doing are safe, sane and consensual.