Ignored by KH

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Williamsclaude, Dec 4, 2018.

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  1. Williamsclaude
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    So I saw my KH last Friday for drinks. We chatted quite a bit and I think we both had a good time. At the end of the evening I handed over the keys to my device and she headed home.

    Earlier in the evening she'd mentioned how she would be in town tomorrow and that we could possibly meet for a coffee. When I woke around 9am the next day I immediately texted her asking if she was still up for grabbing a coffee. An hour and a half later and no reply. I texted again "yes.. no"?

    This time I got an instant reply "yeah later"! I texted back "cool" and asked her how she was feeling this morning after our drinks. Over an hour later and no reply to either message. I texted again, this time asking what time might we meet for coffee.. forty minutes later she replies "I feel so hungover I want to kill myself"

    I texted back saying I felt her pain and then again twenty minutes later saying I hope we can still meet for coffee.

    Since that exchange she hasn't texted me once. I've texted her once yesterday and again today. No reply.

    Last time she let me out after a week. This time I don't know what's going to happen!
     
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  2. Adam444
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    Adam444 Member

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    I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your keyholder but in a vanilla world of just dating, then your messages come across as being a bit needy. Most women don't like that.
     
  3. Williamsclaude
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    Yeah I agree and she is vanilla. She has kindly agreed to be my KH but it's not really her thing!
     
  4. Adam444
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    Adam444 Member

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    Then maybe you need to find another keyholder or some way to self-lock. Are you two friends in other respects?
     
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  5. Williamsclaude
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    Yes we're friends. She my ex gf. It's not that easy to find a KH you know!
     
  6. Williamsclaude
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    And self locking isn't the same!
     
  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    well, not sure if this arrangement is going to work long term, but good luck
     
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  8. Williamsclaude
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    I got a reply not long after posting this thread actually, so there!
     
  9. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    I agree with everyone else that’s posted so far. The relationship may not last, it takes a lot from both side to make any relationship work. One thing for sure since handing over the key she’s in control. It may not be as sexual or how you want to be controlled but it is Her Control.
     
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  10. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    You could have tried to demonstrate a lot more sympathy end understanding about her hang-over.. perhaps suggesting a postponement as she was clearly not feeling too good.

    You did come across as needy and also ,to be honest, as very self-centered
     
  11. Freaky Rabbit
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    Freaky Rabbit New member

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    How does she benefit from the arrangement?
     
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  12. Williamsclaude
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    I get marched to an ATM most times we meet up and withdraw generous amounts of money for her :)
     
  13. Freaky Rabbit
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    Freaky Rabbit New member

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    It looks like you get marched to ATM regardless you are in chastity or not, am I right? In that case this doesn't present any additional benefits to your key holder. IMO.
     
  14. Williamsclaude
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    Well you are difficult to please! The reality is I am always respectful, kind and honest to my KH. We go back a longtime and we understand each other pretty well. Also we both enjoy meeting for drinks generally once a week.

    Yes, granted at times I can be "needy" but I never do anything really OTT! I probably sent her roughly 5 unnecessary texts in the space of 4 days total. Not ideal but also let's be honest, not ridiculous. I did not call her phone once because that to me would feel like more of an intrusion.

    I'm not sure what you'd have me do in order to provide "additional benefits" but tbh, seeing as you know neither of us.. you have no real say in the matter anyway
     
  15. Freaky Rabbit
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    Freaky Rabbit New member

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    Yes, it is hard to advise if we don't know you two and your relationship. Maybe she is just having a hard day or hard time. Maybe you can talk her about it next time. Good luck.
     
  16. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    Please don’t get angry @Williamsclaude with people that are trying to help you.The title of your post is “ Ignored by KH “ which opened it up for people to try and help you, we only know what you tell us about your relationship and Yes sometimes people say more than they should without knowing more details. The majority of people that I personally have been in contact with here genuinely care about helping others with their Chastity arrangements. A lot of us have been through what your going through and may be able to help make things smoother, the more we know about the details of your relationship would help. That is if your willing to share them. Please except our apology if we offended you.
     
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  17. Williamsclaude
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    Thank you for the apology and explaining how you feel. If you look back over the posts on this thread it is mainly peoples opinions rather than their advice. But I take your point that most people on here are genuinely helpful.

    I didn't explain every detail of our relationship but I'm always more than happy to answer people's questions if they have them.

    I think what annoyed me was almost every reply seemed to have a negative and doubting tone and it just started to grate on me after a while !
     
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  18. spider203
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    spider203 Active member

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    You could try having a relationship with out hand over money just to see can it survive without you going to the atm. Just a month test the water.??
     
  19. Williamsclaude
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    Possibly but I kind of have and enjoy findom as a fetish anyway!
     
  20. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Lady Blaze
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    Yes it is hard to find keyholders that genuinely likes it and not just the money that comes along with it. It sucks, I know but unless it is a husband/boyfriend then it isn't much fun for us.
    I pro domme, but if subs are needy and too demanding then they get ignored. I don't care how much money they throw at me, if they are boring, self centered and not making me feel good when we interact then there is no play.

    You don't think you were OTT but have you asked her what she thinks and what she wants from you? After all, that is the person you have this relationship with so she knows best. Perhaps she just had a lot of things on her mind? Perhaps she just like the findom part and not the chastity part?
    I know she has the keys to your most precious thing in life and it is so exciting to you, and your thoughts are around this 24/7, but like you said, she is not really into that so to her it is not a big deal perhaps?

    And we are not trying to put you down, I get that you are a bit upset. When you come into a forum like this you will get our opinions and that goes for positive as well as negative ones. You are not here to please any of us, but we are all here to help each other, never forget that. Sometimes we get caught up in our thoughts and needs someone to put us straight. I personally can sound harder than I intended to sometimes.
    But we are all friends and it is all good.
     
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  21. Williamsclaude
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    Thank you for posting LadyBlaze. You make a lot of good points and I will try and take your advice on board! Tbh I think a lot of the criticism levelled at me has been completely fair!

    It's funny though.. I never actually once complained about her ignoring me. But most here replied as if I was. Perhaps that is my fault and the tone of my original post? But I never intended to complain only describe the facts of my situation. I actually found it kind of hot being ignored in some ways. It's also one of the reasons I adore my KH.. she does what she wants and that's what makes her dominant !
     
  22. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Lady Blaze
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    I am glad you are happy with your Domme and that it is what you want.
    Yes if you post with a title saying ignored by keyholder and then writes about how she doesn't respond to your texts then we will take it as you are not happy about the situation and respond accordingly..;):D
     
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  23. BKwife
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    BKwife Key holder of Gigaman
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    That's what I was wondering. If you can think of a way that this benefits her too she may be a much more willing partner
     
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  24. Adam444
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    She benefits every time he hands her money, which sounds like pretty much the only reason she's holding the keys. They're just friends (she's an ex-girlfriend if I recall) so I'm not sure what he could do to add value to the relationship. Maybe he could clean her flat?
     
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  25. Williamsclaude
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    You remember correctly Adam. I actually did offer something along those lines recently. She mentioned she had a couple rooms she had to completely redecorate. One job she said was a bore was sanding down floorboards and I offered straight away to do this for free. But she hasn't taken up my offer yet .
     
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