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If you had the power...

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Nicoftime, Sep 12, 2017.

  1. Starting this thread wondering if others here have thought about what they would do if the power role were reversed.

    Sexually I am submissive and comfortable doing as I am told. It lifts the burden of being wrong, rejected, or doing something that she would rather not do. It's liberating. That being said, I sometimes wonder if she gave me the power that I have given her, how would I use it differently.

    If your partner told you they could do anything you wanted, and not only would they do it no questions asked, but would enjoy what ever it was. I don't think I would have the restraint my keyholder has shown me. I won't go into details but let's just say that I would test her limits...and then go past them, while she has nibbled at mine but satisfied with not taking advantage of her power.

    Maybe I am a very non typical sub...more like a pleaser. I draw pleasure with hers, and if she derived pleasure by testing her limits, boy oh boy would they be tested!

    Just a random thought about our power exchange that occurred to me and how we are different. I mean I have given her a blank check with the knowledge that I like to do what I'm told, and hasn't taken my account down too far. If she gave me a blank check, I'd empty out her account!
  2. Well I'm the sexual deviant in our relationship, so yes 100% if the roles were reversed I'm 100% sure I would as you stated "empty her account".
    Sublifter49 likes this.
  3. I would test her limits way more than she tests mine. (Empty the bank) I could in reality be a switch. She has ZERO nterest to let me be dominant anymore at anything.
  4. As part of our female-controlled marriage we have had a full power exchange. My wife has the male role, I the female role. It is completely natural and comfortable and I would not have it any other way. My willing submission to her authority is absolute.
    Penney likes this.
  5. that being said, how would you do it differently if you had the power? Strangely like the title of the thread inquired.
    danleft1 likes this.
  6. I can and have enjoyed, sometimes whilst I have remained denied and even locked and denied, taking the dominant , more assertive, Top or upper role with past partners in various forms to various extents sometime Which does not mean I ever took any of that too far. Nor would I want to.

    Its all good but my chosen role the one I enjoy most which fortunately is the one I usually have as I do now. But some switched time can be good too.
  7. i would go to a shoe shop and buy lots of lovley shoes and then go to VS and get lots of lovley panties. :)
    SubVerity, Penney, JiL and 1 other person like this.
  8. jem your so funny. Just shoes and delicates huh? No urge to maybe see what it's like to use the paddle instead of feel it? :p
    SubVerity, Penney and JiL like this.
  9. We did enjoy one night that I tied her up, and teased her. I'm not very good at denial cause eventually I let her cum, although I did keep the wand on her past her orgasm where she begged me to stop through her constant and painful orgasm. We haven't done it since but would if she asked.
  10. oooh giggle. i cudnt do that. oooh no.
    SubVerity and MadamBelle like this.
  11. While my Miss. continues to grow and quickly adapt to her newly found power and control, there has by no means been a complete transfer of control or power to her. I would love to transfer every little bit of control and power to her in all the most submissive and sexual ways I can, but she is not ready for that, and she may never be ready for that. But to answer the question, what would I do with my power, lets just say it's a good thing I am not in control for the most part. I would definitely push her harder than she has pushed me. I would want to be more experimental socially and sexually with the roles we have, and I would probably screw things up good being too selfish and demanding. I rarely, if ever have felt that she has misused or abused her control and power in our FLR. I am not so sure I would be able to say the same if I were the domm.
    Mash2214 and Nicoftime like this.
  12. There was another thread recently on a similar theme... that of being confused between being dominant and submissive.

    I've considered this and come to the conclusion that many of us are in fact switches, with a bias to veer towards either dominance or submissiveness as each situation presents itself. We have evolved as pack animals, and in working as a pack [whether as a mostly female group looking after home and young, or as a mostly male group out hunting or gathering] to work efficiently we need most members of the group to be submissive, with a few being the leaders.
    Being able to switch between roles also has it's evolutionary advantages, as the group splits and joins together for diverse or larger tasks. Each subdivision of a group needs it's individual leader, otherwise it becomes less effective. When a larger group forms one leader must step down to allow the senior leader to rule. Similarly, when the hunting group returns to camp, the returning hunting/fighting leader becomes subservient to the village elder. This ability to switch between dominance and submissiveness ensures adequate leadership when groups split to do separate tasks, and reduces conflict as groups merge together again.

    This human evolution explains why we often switch between roles, in modern life we find that leaders/managers in the work environment often revert to a more submissive role in their private life. It also explains why there are far more submissives than dominants, large groups need relatively few leaders compared with the size of the group. Many people only want to be a follower, a submissive, whereas those people who are leaders know that they won't always be 'top dog', so are able to switch. Most dominants find it easy to switch to being submissive when the occasion demands it, while the truly submissive find it very difficult to be [effective] dominants when asked.
  13. It has been my experience that true subs much more rarely are effective switch dominants, whereas doms switch more easily and effectively to a submissive role, and can actually enjoy themselves. Just my exxperience though. Like @bondinchas@bondinchas said.
    Penney likes this.
  14. Haha, Sometimes I tease my wife about paddling her knowing full well that I'm the only one that will be paddled.
  15. I don't have the power, but I'm pretty lucky that Mistress lets me buy panties.
  16. Mistress Jules

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Nope! It has been suggested that I should submit to a spanking, that was over the phone and it didn't take long before @lockit@lockit realised that he was never going to be doing that. I am a control freak and I do not like pain so the chances of the roles being reversed are miniscule to none as I would not be in the relationship if that was the case.

    I enjoy my alpha male being mine.
    joe01 likes this.
  17. I love the thread idea, but I'm curious by what some of the references to "empty the bank" and "test her limits" actually mean. I don't think in reality we could ever switch, but purely on a fantasy level I would not want many of the same things. What my KH likes most in our current relationship is the increased intimacy followed closely by my domestic service. Breakfast in bed on the weekends, shopping, cooking, cleaning and we're even breaking the final frontier of laundry. If I were in charge and had the authority it would be all about the sex. She would pretty much need to be ready to go at anytime and for any activity I had in mind. As much as that seems cool in fantasy it would ultimately ruin the intimacy which is the best part of chastity for me too. It's like the characters in Lord of the Rings who are offered the one ring. They realize the power would transform them into something terrible. I'd turn my wife into my personal porn star and in the end that wouldn't be a good thing. Fun to fantasize about until the reality of the consequences start to pop up.
    MadamBelle likes this.
  18. I would like to think that I would use that power the way that my wife has -- with love, acceptance and benevolent control.
  19. Omg I usually don't call anyone out but gosh you win!!! You are the ultimate sub
    Madamebellestoy likes this.
  20. If I only could get her to peg me...
  21. I ended up being the Dom to an ex G/F and I used it to help her .
    I set her "wake up" times , I cos she was late for work virtually everyday and most mornings she didn't have time to sort her ferrets out (she kept feeling guilty about not letting them out to play in the morning) ,literally wake up and rush out of the door .
    My plan was for her to get up in plenty of time so she could 1 relax and not rush, 2 make sure she took her medication, 3 had breakfast ,4 not having to drive like a loony to get to work on time .
    After a few days she got used to the routine and felt better for it and happier cos she let the ferrets run and play in the morning .

    The other thing I did was to get her to cut down on her drinking during weeknights (schoolnights as we called them) and unless she was having a meal with friends there was no alcohol to be consumed . (She used to get through lots of wine ).
    My concern again was for her health and the fact she may be over the limit the next morning on way to work .

    I also found out what her dreams and goals where ( I knew most of them when I was her sub but needed her to tell me as her Dom so we could set plans in place for her) and "used my power" wherever I could to help her along and encourage her achieve what she wanted to do and where she wanted to be in her health and finances and hobbies she wanted to do etc.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  22. Lol actual ferrets! I thought there was some slang phrase I missed out on...sorting out your ferrets
    joe01 likes this.
  23. He he he , nope actual ferrets they are her "babies" lol
    joe01 likes this.
  24. Ladies do drink lots of wine don't they. i like it as well but i am not allow a lot of it.
  25. This was one and sometimes 2 bottles a night when she had the spare money (didn't get withdrawals when didn't have the money for it though so wasn't a dependency as such ) .
    We didn't live together apart from on my rest days from work so I trusted her not to do it and I'd like to assume that she never broke that rule for schoolnights .
    It's funny cos when I put that rule in place ,her lodger kept telling her "don't worry he will never find out" kind of thing and when she wouldn't do it , it wasn't long after that that he moved out .