I Wish I didn't Like Penetration So Much.

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Thatgirl, Jan 8, 2017.

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  1. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    I'm such a chicken.
     
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    cogman Long term member

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    Its not so bad I just had a local and drove home. The guys that had a general suffered a lot more...lol They are the chickens. I had sex 2 days after, juice stung the stitches a bit lol.
     
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  3. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I was snipped back when I was 38 and it is an example of why this chastity game is making things so much better for us. Elle agreed to let me have the op (which I too had under local) and it was months later, when she burst into tears after a chat about children, that I found out that she had really wanted another kid. We had two boys and she wanted to try for a girl. I thought that we couldn't afford a third, they are very expensive pets! Anyway, long story short, she didn't think she could stop me as it was my body and my decision.

    So, how has chastity made this sort of situation better? Elle is now much more assertive and is fully in control of decisions.

    BUT

    if Elle had wanted me to have a vasectomy I would have happily done it for her.

    There is almost no chance of going back if you change your mind but if you are in a committed relationship and don't want any more children my advice is to go for it.
     
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  4. Jasmic68
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    I asked Elle, she can definitely feel the difference between me pulsing my penis and when I have an orgasm. There is also the issue of the lack of any ejaculate that she would need to clean up (she isn't into this cum eating thing) that I would have to explain.
     
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  5. Guest 8391
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    You have hit a really sweet spot for both of you. Keep it that way for awhile and see how you go. And you both seem happy at how it is working out and that is great.
     
  6. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    LOL I NEARLY had mine done after my third boy, but I waited a little bit too long...ended up with four lol
     
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  7. zizzy
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    My goddess all so has the desire to have penetration sex all the time, but she also loves having my cock caged..
    So to sort the problem she has a BF that comes and f*cks her at least twice a week.
    Hes an old buddy of mine and we all know he's "Safe n clean"
    He to has had a vasectomy and always finishes inside her.
    Hes a heavy cummer and much bigger then me.
     
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  8. Jblocked
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    Jblocked Long term member

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    Sounds like a great relationship. With alot of fun.
     
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    pokekey Long term member

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    M likes PIV and here's our solution: numbing cream.

    Two days ago we had a long play session. She put on enough to get the head of my penis quite numb. I could feel that I was inside here. I could feel her with the lower part of my penis but I got no pleasure from the head. She rode me quite hard but I didn't get anywhere close to climax. She clearly enjoyed it while I was denied pleasure.

    Then, yesterday, she put less numbing cream on. The result was decreased sensation. She could move more - which she enjoyed - but could still edge me. I suppose this is less pleasurable for me but I can't really tell - it feels good. But then she kept edging me. I'm not allowed to climax. If I do, I remain tied up. After climax I really don't want to be tied up so I'm motivated to not climax. When she pushes me hard this is really uncomfortable and I beg her to stop. Not much I can do about it and M likes begging. To finish, by hand she gave me a ruined climx. She got the timing just right and I cried out and squirmed. She later said she loved the squirming and clearly was very pleased with herself.

    M like to feel me climax inside her but she has found other things she enjoys. These were mostly my ideas and I mostly find being denied exciting. She usually relents often enough that I don't feel too deprived. But if she keeps enjoying herself as much as in these past two sessions I may get less satisfaction.

    So, my answer is to focus on how much you'll enjoy the other things you can do when you keep him caged and denied. If you figure out how to find enjoyment in those then you'll do them.
     
  10. traveler
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    traveler whatever

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    I got sniped years ago. It's really not that bad. I fear a piercing more.
     
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  11. LadyS
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    LadyS Lover of LOVE

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    See my lovely husband they all say it's a piece of cake ;) Get it done!

    On another note it's been a week since we have used my penis. I would be telling a lie if I said I miss it...
     
  12. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    I'm not a very good actor... I think an attempt at faking an orgasm on my part would succeed only in bringing to an end if the festivities due to laughter.
     
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  13. Steve-0
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    Steve-0 Long term member

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    I literally feel ill thinking about it.
    But I will do it one day.
     
  14. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    This is exactly my situation. Elle likes PIV sex, likes making me orgasm inside her but she likes this state of constant hornyness I am in now much more. We occasionally use numbing cream on me but she has found other forms of sex last longer, give her a better orgasm and don't leave her walking like John Wayne the next day. I have also had an orgasm even when I was so numb I couldn't feel my penis at all, it was as if my body knew what was going on and made me cum anyway, even though there was no sensation.

    (Side note, for our younger readers, what would be a more modern version of 'walking like John Wayne'?)
     
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  15. harddenial
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    My wife started off loving penetration with me cumming in her. I think she liked it more for emotional attachment and intimacy than orgasms etc. But her desires have changed over time and as she has become more assertive and confident she sees sex in the present as rebalancing those early days. So now she sits back while I give her multiple orgasms with my tongue and she is then quite happy to fall asleep or get up and do something else knowing that I have enjoyed the intimacy and pleasure of providing the orgasms, pretty much the opposite of how things started out. She really doesn't care for penetration any more now (not because of pregnancy worries as I had the snip years ago) and cunnilingus fits the bill perfectly: necessary and sufficient for multiple orgasms for her.
     
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  16. T&D Victim
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    There are toys that simulate ejaculation. Perhaps try one of those but give the control to Him over when he let's it rip so that you don't have to worry about anything but receiving and enjoying what he is giving you. I know its not the same thing as PIV to completion but it might very well be a happy alternative for you which allows you to have the best of both worlds you seem to desire.
    The danger here is that some women come to prefer the toy and simulated male orgasm to the real thing simply because manual manipulation can and often is much more intense and detailed then is PIV sex. However this solution can offer you sensations that you MAY (not guaranteed) find close enough to the real thing as to be similarly desirable for you. It has the added benefit of allowing you to also leave him locked during as well.
    Strikingly enough, of all the potential issues to have, this is arguably a very good one to be faced with. :)
     
  17. LeadingLady
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    LeadingLady Lovingly, but strictly, making him a better man.

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    What you are experiencing is, I feel, is a natural end point in a relationship where the woman is in control of the sex, and where these conditions apply: the man is a true submissive and not just "role playing"; the woman is a true dominant (and not just "playing along"); and she does not depend on penetrative sex for her satisfaction; or she prefers means other than penetration by her husband for satisfaction. I know several dominant women who can gladly do without penetration from their husbands provided the husband is skillful at providing oral satisfaction, or, she, like myself, finds her needs met in the arms of other men. I call this type of sexual arrangement "penis irrelevance". Her man's penis is either largely or totally irrelevant to the woman's satisfaction. And that is where my husband and I are now. Although I have not (yet) totally denied him penetrative sex, I am considering that at some point in the future.

    When the woman does not require of desire penetration to achieve satisfaction, the act of a male penetrating the female inherently places the woman in an inherently submissive position and the man in an inherently dominant position. If he is the only one wanting penetration then she is just submitting to his carnal desires. Moreover, if the act culminates in him ejaculating inside her, then she is allowing herself to become a mere receptacle for his cum, which also places her in the submissive role. He gets "some pussy" and she gets little in return.

    This brings us to the issue of intimacy. His penis is irrelevant to me, his heart is not. Physical intimacy is an extremely vital part of a healthy relationship and should not be neglected. It is an important way to bond and maintain the bond. However, to think of physical intimacy only in term of coitus is neither healthy nor admitting of the lovely spectrum of ways a couple can express love physically. Giving and receiving oral sex is very intimate but a bit impersonal as well as it lacks the body contact craved by many people, including myself and my husband. I love to receive oral sex and him giving me that when he knows he is probably not going to receive any gratification other than the pleasure of serving me. However, because such times are about the only times he is allowed to see me naked and touch me intimately, he looks forward those times. We will kiss and make out passionately for a long time as foreplay before his delightful hands, lips and tongue work their way down to my wet aching vulva.

    Of course my husband gets very hard and aroused during an oral sex session. But, as I learned from my great mentors Jim and Sarah, I regard his erection not as a cue to allow him sex or release of any kind, but merely as a "tribute" to his desire for me.I have trained him to have no expectations regarding sex and that I have full control. I almost never allow him to cum in the same session unless he has been exceptional at providing me with many screaming orgasms. I do usually promise he will be allowed to cum the next day or so. When he is allowed to cum it is usually through masturbation or some means of "outercourse" such as foot sex or thigh frottage.

    I often do fondle and stroke his penis during our making out and while he gives me oral sex, I tell him strictly that he must not cum. That is a wicked tease and never fails to get him so hot for me.

    A few years ago, at the suggestion of Jim and Sarah (shout out to them!), as a beautiful demonstration of his love and submission to me, my husband agreed to go an entire year without being inside me. Right now he is allowed inside me maybe three or four times per year with his birthday and Christmas being two times he can depend on. However, I do not always allow him to leave a big annoying wet sticky mess and will either not let him cum, pull out before cumming, or I ask him to wear a condom.

    Like your wife, I also love having penetrative sex and love feeling my lover cum inside me! And I am one of those many women who really needs occasional penetration to stay healthy and emotionally balanced. My husband is the one being sexually denied, not me! So my desires are satisfied once or twice per week in the arms of another man. My current lover is a "regular" and he and I get tested for STD's regularly, because I hate condoms so we make love "bareback". The cuckolding, the knowing that another man is regularly getting what he is being denied, is something that brings about exceptionally strong submissive feelings in my husband. It does so in many sexually submissive males.

    I am considering making his "no penetration" denial permanent at some point if my husband remains on the submissive path he is now on. More and more it is looking like it will happen. We will see.

    So there you have it. Food for thought. Works for us...may not work for you.
     
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  18. T&D Victim
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    All very valid points LeadingLady. Of upmost importance is the fact that what works for myself and my wife or LeadingLady and her husband, or anyone else may not work for the author of this thread and sig other. If only it was that easy.
    I believe firmly that good communication that is honest and open is the key. Don't hide your feelings when you discuss this topic with your sig other, else someone may regret having not spoken up on specific concern or facet, later.
    :)
     
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  19. LeadingLady
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    LeadingLady Lovingly, but strictly, making him a better man.

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    Now wait a minute...I have been with several men who have had vasectomies, including a very recent encounter, and they all ejaculated a fairly normal volume of ejaculate. sperm only accounts for a small percentage of seminal volume. Please explain????
     
  20. harddenial
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    LeadingLady, this is all spot on and applies to my wife and I almost exactly. Very well put. As for the other points, well my wife does not touch my penis, it is really not there as far as she is concerned. Usually being caged it is inaccessible anyway and she loves to stroke my inner thighs and tug my balls which drives me crazy. I have been allowed penetration only once in the last 3 years and was not allowed to cum. That was a trial to see if she missed it. She decided that oral was much preferable and she would stick with that. No penetration is permanent now.
     
  21. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I am confused by your confusion!

    I have had a vasectomy. When I have an orgasm I ejaculate but without sperm. Sperm makes up a very small amount of the ejaculate.

    If I pretended to have an orgasm I wouldn't ejaculate. Elle would go to the bathroom and there would be no ejaculate for her to clean up. I was saying she isn't into this idea that all males should clean up their mess by eating their own cum.

    I wasn't saying that when I orgasm there isn't any cum.

    Sorry for the confusion!
     
  22. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    See now here's the key - if that were the case, I'd imagine the OP would have an easier time resisting penetrative sex. But I have it on fairly good authority that she thoroughly enjoys PIV, and specifically with her man, and despite good oral skills on his part, and a toy-chest FULL of options, she still simply longs for a proper lay during his lock ups. He knows this, and thus she is not quite able to instill real fear in him that if he doesn't behave she will add meaningful time to his lock-ups.

    So it is indeed quite the conundrum for her. She likes him frustrated, and doting on her, yet she likes to let him cum - via PIV after she unlocks it, or via any number of other methods while still locked. Though cumming while still locked usually involves acts of extreme submission on his part, the end result is probably still a marked decrease in doting and overall submissiveness versus pure denial. But alas, a girl wants what a girl wants :)
     
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  23. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    "He knows this, and thus she is not quite able to instill real fear in him that if he doesn't behave she will add meaningful time to his lock-ups."

    Hum...well we haven't been very successful in giving you an ass orgasm over the last two days via my strap on or the dildo attached to the shower floor, now have we? You just told me you were going to respond, and you KNOW I would read it. No more stimulation for you for a bit since you felt the need to point out my weaknesses. Pure denial it is. You get nothing in terms of my sweet mouth, strap on, etc. Instead, you get to service me with no reciprocation whatsoever. Love you.
     
  24. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    Umm. Ok. Sorry. I guess I didn't realize I was breaking new ground with that statement.

    I'll continue to go ahead and leave the CM to you.
     
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  25. LeadingLady
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    LeadingLady Lovingly, but strictly, making him a better man.

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    All good; however, note that my statement "Moreover, if the act culminates in him ejaculating inside her, then she is allowing herself to become a mere receptacle for his cum, which also places her in the submissive role. He gets "some pussy" and she gets little in return" is in the context of the premise laid out in the opening sentence: "When the woman does not require or desire penetration to achieve satisfaction, the act of a male penetrating the female inherently places the woman in an inherently submissive position and the man in an inherently dominant position." If the case is that she likes him to cum inside her, then do avoid it being a submissive act on her part his sexual service must be on her terms and when she wants it and only after she has achieved her pleasure. In other words, there are ways to make him into merely a glorified dildo.

    "Penis irrelevance" in the context of the sub's male member pertains to the women who can gladly do without penetration from their husbands. Most often this is because they, like myself, find their needs met in the arms of other men; or, she uses him for oral pleasure, or, she loves her toys and is fine without any penis. Penis irrelevance is usually only manifest when there is total sexual domination on her part, coupled with total surrender to her desires on his part.

    My husband is still put to use as my stud when I can't make "other arrangements" or I feel it is time he be allowed that special pleasure on very special occasions. A few of the techniques I use to make penetrative sex a more submissive act on my husband's part and making sex "all about me", are:
    1. I make him do something very special to "earn" the privilege to be inside me. He need not know that I am the one who wants it. He always wants it so I make him think I am doing him a huge favor.
    2. I usually use the woman-superior position, and/or I tie him down and ride away.
    3. If I want the body contact that the missionary position affords, I set the pace.
    4. I also may blindfold him so he is unable to see me naked, thus assuring even more focus on my pleasure and less on his.
    5. Any touching (or licking, nibbing, sucking) of my private areas (breasts, buttocks, vulva) is by permission only and I tell him exactly how I want to be touched, licked, nibbled, etc.
    6. He may cum only after I am totally satisfied.
    7. If he ejaculates inside me, he "recycles" the mess.
    I do not leave much room for him to depart from a submissive head space.

    In conclusion, it is quite possible to have a man penetrate and ejaculate while still maintaining a quite high degree of submission on his part. It is all in the attitude and technique.

    (Then there are those otherwise dominant women who just want to be wildly taken by their otherwise submissive man and have him ravish her like she was the heroine in a romance novel. That still can be done without compromising submission...but, that is another discussion for another time.)

    There you have it...
    "Works for us...may not work for you..."
     
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