I want to cum

Admit your weakness and take your punishment. If she is not the one who initially wanted to try chastity then shame on you for not having any control. You need a hands off rule. No touching it period unless she tells you to.

 

Sounds to me that you are finally at the point of submission! Admit it, take your punishment and deepen your commitment. After a while, you will no longer be thinking about your penis and desire to cum as much as you will be thinking about Her!

 

Wanting to come is the purpose of the exercise. You have reached the point where chastity becomes effective and works its magic. Tell her and then offer to do something for her... my wife would take a foot rub any day of the week.

 

Sounds like that's where I want to be. I am just a day into it and would give anything to touch. Wow. I hinted to my wife that I bet I could take a month with out being unlocked. I bet I could. The thing is that when I am out it will be so amazing to feel what I forgot by that time what it feels like to stroke it or to have it inside her. Exciting stuff!!!

 

It sounds to me like she needs to put her wand somewhere locked out of your access before you do something you will regret minutes after

 

I am locked up 24/7 for over 4 years and up until this year, have been denied an orgasm for as long as 4 months. i can tell you now that unless you work with your wife on orgasm denial to a common goal, you are not going to last long in chastity. Men come and go here all the time but the ones who last year after year do not try to escape or give themselves orgasms. We all asked for this and to cheat is only to cheat ourselves. If you cannot bear it for 6 days before you try to masturbate, chastity is probably not for you. You both have to want it and whether locked or not, you need to refrain from masturbating. Your key holder is not a warden. She will help you achieve your goals but it is up to you to make it work or not.

Perhaps you should shorten your orgasm denial period and increase it gradually. Many new guys buy a device, lock themselves up 24/7 and then wonder why they are so horny that they have to masturbate or escape. It took me a good 3 months to just get used to 24/7 lockup and another 3 months to get comfortable with just 3 weeks of orgasm denial. We just kept adding one more day every other time until I was not unduly stressed, Right now my wife will give me an orgasm only if she feels that I am in mental or physical distress. I never am allowed intercourse and most times she uses a vibrator so she does not need my penis at all. She only lets me orgasm because she loves me. It took us a long time to get to where we are now and you may be rushing it. A common mistake that many of us make, me included. It took me three attempts before it worked for us. Don't learn to swim by jumping into the deep end and you will enjoy it better. Good luck.

 

simply love the title of this thread - what an uncommon line!

 

No prob hon - i was just goofing around and maybe I took your problem not very seriously!

 

steph17 and A/all,I had a hard time convincing my traditional wife to put me in chastity and finally she agreed and the core of her approach is precisely having me wanting to cum permanently!
I'm unlocked twice a week for one hour teasing,sent caged to be massaged,daily shorter teasings while locked,etc.
I share with you how this urge can put thoughts into actions to achieve relief.
I was unsuccesfull too trying to rub my prostate and apply vibration to the cage.
It worked like scratching a mosquito bite just to make it worse and worse.
And yes,I was punished for these actions,but rewarded by agreeing that I should ask everytime I felt desperate and I would get a teasing ( and extend the time before cumming)
i have learned to live/ endure/ enjoy with my urge to cum and can just tell that it is one of the many great things associated with chastity.

 

All of us who have gone through the torture you are going through before finally giving up and submitting - we all understand your thoughts and your plight. All I can say is that the time appears to be here for total submission to Her control. Of course, good communication is essential to success. It appears that, since you've been secretly trying the aneros and trying to come in the cage with the wand, you are still holding some things back from Her. That just adds to the frustration, I believe.

 

@steph17,
You are not alone my friend. All of us, well the men at least, have been where you are I would imagine. That's why we join sites like this, so we can share our experiences and gain knowledge and strength from one another. At least that's why I do it. I'm locked 24/7/365 for the most part with maybe 4 or 5 O's a year so I get where you're coming (or not coming as the case may be <G>) from, it gets lonely in here sometimes especially when our keyholders seem to forget about us. In my case, outside of orgasm denial and teasing, it's also about her feeling of security and she's dead serious about it so, for me, it really is a 24/7 thing and has been for many years. I guess over the years I've gotten used to feeling the need to come so much that I now crave the feeling so much that, on the odd occasion that I am allowed an orgasm, it almost feels like a let down to me if that makes any sense. The dichotomy of feelings of this thing of ours never fails to amaze me. Good luck and push on if you can.

 

To answer your question, yes I think it would be a good idea to let her know.

My favorite part of chastity is the open communication and ability to talk about everything. If I started failing to say what was going on with this, soon it would lead to other things we aren't disclosing to one another.

I would like to think she would not get so upset, that she would quit this, but if it became a habit, I could see her asking "what's the point" if I kept doing it. I do know if I didn't say something, and or lied about it, it would be worse. Then again, I have no idea what your dynamic with her is.

So in my house, I would tell her, she'd thank me for being honest, give me some punishment, and that would be the end of it.

 

I think if you want to cheat chastity behind your wife's back.. then what's the point of doing it?

 

I have nearly completed three weeks locked up with out cummin.Last night I pleasured my wife/ kh as I did the night before as well,she told me then, next time I would be released.She lied ,after I had given her two orgasms and pleased her I was expecting to be unlocked and rewarded.But after teasing me by playing with my nipples (which she knows really turns me on)she then told me I am not being released yet.I have never felt a yearning to cum like I do now,the feelings not left me all day it's all I can think of,on top of this I had dental hygienist appointment today this also is a massive turn on for me,if I had not had the cage on I would have cum while I was in the chair.But I am really happy my kh did not release me as it confirms she's starting to take her role as kh more seriously and being more dominant.I argree with LadyS point entirely so will wait untill my kh does release me.Just hope it's not much longer.pleeeeze.

 

You've made a major change in your life. Life isn't always perfect so you need to talk with your partner and reevaluating your arrangement every once in a while. We have an open discussion at the end of every month where we make changes if required. It may take many adjustments to find Your perfect arrangement. Communicate with your partner they know you better than anyone else.

 

HELP.still locked up,desparate to cum,really don't know how much longer I can hold out before unlocking myself with the spare key that's kept for emergencys I .e accidents if my kh is not about.I can state I have never wanted to cum like this,I can't stop thinking about it,my cage is permentley being stretched with me experiencing slight pain and discomfort because of a semi permanent errection,who said good fitting cages stopped errections.my kh is not feeling great at the moment she has sore throat,cold,so don't think she's in the mood to be pleasured and then rewarding me.I don't want to go behind her back and relive myself.any one got any advice of how I can get through this period,never felt so horny and needed to cum like this,even got errection when asleep(know this because every time I wake up it's their).CAN'T hold on much longer.

 

Yes communicate with your partner ,
As much as we think they are great KH's are not mind readers and unless they know about things they can't deal with them or not deal with them if they enjoying the state they have you in.
But communication is a must for all relationships and even more so with this lifestyle and the emotions and feelings that go with it .

Your partner may know already and enjoying your frustration but ,then again may be totally unaware , so you need to communicate.

 

What I've done when I was in your position and my partner was going to be away for a week, was to freeze it in a block of ice. That way if you falter it's not a quick job to get the key and unlock.

What I did was to first dip the key in wax a few times to prevent it from rust, then attach it to a piece of thread with one end through the screw-top of a 2L bottle.
fill the bottle with water, insert the key and screw the top down. Place upright int he freezer. JOb done.

Alternatively, get in touch with @lock667 and ask him to encase your key in one of his excellent glass creations https://www.etsy.com/shop/tksticklers

As to how to deal with the mental anguish - just enjoy the torment.

 

Thanks for the replys.I can genuinely state I never thought the mental anguish would be as bad as this,or indeed the never ending feeling of needing to cum(and I initiated chastity).Whats made it even worse now is my kh has gone shopping,I offered to do it for her,to please her hoping for a reward.She told me I don't shop very well so refused my offer.I now have to much time on my own,to much time to think,I'm determined not to give in to this overwhelming desire to relive myself but not sure I can.

 

Ok, just put the key in a container full of water and into the freezer!

Do it now!

Go on. And then talk when she gets back.

 

I think that it would be advantageous for you to decide what type of chastity lifestyle it is that you wish to have. That was our biggest obstacle when we began this journey some 20 years ago. It began as a game and over time evolved into a lifestyle. That being said, your response to your issues will, by necessity, be dictated by your answer to that question. If it's a game take it off, jack it off, put it back on and continue, repeating as necessary. Problem solved. I would imagine however that, like most men that initiate this game/lifestyle/????, whatever you decide on, it's the same old "she locked me up yada yada, can't get out yada yada,on and on" internet crap that probably drew most of us, the men at least, to the game/lifestyle/???? in the first place. Let me preface the following by stating that the opinions expressed are my own, apply only to my situation, and are not intended to endorse nor disparage anyone else's lifestyle choices. That should go without saying but there seems to no end to the good folks who strongly advocate for personal choice and still feel that others have no right to express their opinion(s). Moving on. Chastity is a game, the elements of which exist mostly in the mind, and no device made by man cannot be defeated by man using simple tools commonly available to anyone. That is simply an undisputable fact. We both knew that going in almost 2 decades ago now and our reasons for adopting a chastity lifestyle are something we share only with each other. When we adopted a 24/7 chastity lifestyle quite a while ago it was a mutual decision based on an open and frank conversation between us. Having already had chastity experience we were aware of the challenges involved and I was well aware that there would be times when I felt neglected, times when I would be uncomfortable, horney, even times when I might be a small amount of pain. These are all things I knew and accepted when I handed over those keys and made that commitment. That commitment is what keeps me going when things get tough. I would no sooner grab the bolt cutters than I would buy her an expensive piece of jewelry and then take it back to hock it to pay off a gambling debt. I made her a promise, it's 24/7/365 for me, I get what she wants to give and I get it when she feels like giving it period, end of story. There are no "emergency" keys, rescue squads and hospitals have bolt cutters and, in all likelihood, unless a horse kicks me in the balls, they won't need them at any rate. Unless I'm having an MRI I'm locked at the Doctor's office unless the procedure involves my man parts and my wife is a retired paramedic as well as a nurse so she knows. If it's inadvertently seen I'm not "exposing someone to my kink" anymore than a man appearing in public wearing a dress much less thinking he has a right to use the women's restroom because he's dressed that way while my 10 year old grand-daughter is in there, I dare say not even on the same scale. I'm very lucky to have someone who understands this lifestyle and is willing to participate in it with me, the operative word here being with. If I may offer some advice, and it's only advice, communication and trust are absolutely essential. Without those everything else is meaningless. My wife/KH and myself learn something new every now and again and we've been at it twenty years now. I still get horney, frustrated, aroused, sad, happy, and more but isn't that the whole point? If we didn't have all these emotions, if some of those emotions weren't amplified by this thing we do, why would we bother with all of this? For me the chastity lifestyle, lived with a willing partner of course, and I fully understand that there are those that do it other ways but I'm not speaking to them now, is a three legged stool, the three c's if you will, communication, commitment, and compromise. Take away any one of those and the stool falls over. It's constantly evolving. It will never live up to the fantasy that is built up in your head. Doing the dishes, laundry, helping with the kids doesn't guarantee you play time. Those are things you ought to be helping out with to begin with, she's a wife not a live in maid. Giving your word and keeping it, being open and honest about your needs and desires, letting her in and trusting her to use the gift that you've given her responsibly, helping her because you want to and not because you expect something in return, these are the things that will convince her to participate more fully in this lifestyle. Show her what SHE gets out of it. You'll be surprised how much more play time you get I bet. As men, well a lot of us at least, we tend to make this all about us. If you are lucky enough to have a willing partner then, once you hand over those keys, it's all about HER my friend, otherwise it just doesn't work out. These are just a few of the lessons I've learned, sometimes the hard way, over the last twenty years. Your situation is undoubtedly different than mine but the core principles will be similar. This thing we do, it's a lot of work, but the reward can be very great if you're willing to put in that work.