I want out...or do I

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Lakeman, Mar 7, 2021.

Random Thread
  1. Lakeman
    Offline

    Lakeman Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2017
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    489
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    1:44 AM
    I’m certainly not the only one to have mixed feelings about this. The fun we have in bed with me locked is so good, I almost don’t want her to unlock me, but at the same time the frustration is so strong, I really want her to unlock me.

    I’m having these thoughts a lot right now because we are in new territory. At the start of this year I told my wife I wanted her to feel comfortable to “push my boundaries” in 2021. The longest lock ups we’ve done in the past is 3 weeks, a few times. As of today we are at 5 weeks, that’s 24/7, I have no idea where the key is type of lock up. I’ve had one orgasm this year, she’s had around 20.

    I asked this morning if there was a prospect of being unlocked, she said not today, but soon. I want out, or do I?
     
    Petey, Jblocked, Rectrix and 2 others like this.
  2. Darlydixon
    Offline

    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

    Joined:
    May 18, 2020
    Messages:
    1,228
    Likes Received:
    1,278
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Wisconsin
    Local Time:
    10:44 AM
    I have come to learn your mistresses orgasms become yours I would rather just stay denied I like that feeling
     
    Lakeman likes this.
  3. prettylittlepenis
    Offline

    prettylittlepenis New member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2019
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    11:44 AM
    Are you allowed orgasms from a vibrator/anal stimulation? Anal orgasms are my new normal.
     
    Dasa, jehuty, Raati_Sans and 2 others like this.
  4. Lakeman
    Offline

    Lakeman Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2017
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    489
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    1:44 AM
    I agree, this morning as she was cumming from my tongue, I was pulsing in my cage it was like I was having one too.I found myself moaning, she commented after that it seemed I was enjoying myself!
     
  5. janderson32151
    Offline

    janderson32151 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2017
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Local Time:
    10:44 AM
    When my husband finally realized what he wanted didn’t matter it was easier for him to accept long lockups, or at least he quit complaining as much. When we started he told me to do what ever I wanted with no regard to what he wanted. I’m just following his wishes after all, lol. He’s very sorry he said that now.
     
    slave-in-FLR, meuk85, tvalex and 12 others like this.
  6. Lakeman
    Offline

    Lakeman Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2017
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    489
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    1:44 AM
    Wonderful to see the female perspective here. How long do your lock ups go?
     
  7. HusbandX
    Offline

    HusbandX Active member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2020
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    405
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    4:44 PM
    You want out.

    What you want doesn't matter.

    She will determine what matters.

    To her.
     
    Headtrip, jehuty and Darlydixon like this.
  8. LesterBallard
    Offline

    LesterBallard Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2016
    Messages:
    7,656
    Likes Received:
    3,215
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Management
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    4:44 PM
    The longer it goes on the worse this gets. You're desperate for release but you can't bear the thought of immediately going back to day one and starting over again.

    Good luck
     
    Headtrip, Rectrix and Annemarie like this.
  9. Happytoplease
    Offline

    Happytoplease Sexually starved, and constantly horny.

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2021
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Devon England
    Local Time:
    4:44 PM
    I'm on the other side of this as I'm not caged, I can masturbate when I want. But this just causes me more sexual frustration, the only time that I feel the sexual relief I crave is when my wife makes me cum. That is why I am considering trying a cage, I think it will lead to a calmer life.
     
  10. Annemarie
    Offline

    Annemarie Active member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2018
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Europe
    Local Time:
    5:44 PM
    Very true. I was juist a few days away from my previous record of 7 weeks locked 24/7. I was ready to go much longer (we were going for a whole year this time ) but she just made me cum and told me “now you have to start all over again”
     
    Randalla, tvalex, jehuty and 4 others like this.
  11. Giles_English
    Offline

    Giles_English Chaste slave

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,207
    Likes Received:
    1,135
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Slave
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:44 PM

    I think the thing about masochism - which is what we are talking about here - is that it fetishises discordance between our different urges, creating a kind of feedback loop. For example, if you think about it, you're probably turned on by the way her saying no turns you on.

    Thus the answer is; you simultaneously want out and don't want out, and that's the point.

    However, if you mess your wife around, then there's a good chance that the kink will simply go away.... for ever. So you no longer really have a choice in this matter. You have to go through with it.

    And I bet that thought is also a turn on.
     
    jehuty and bondinchas like this.
  12. Chase See
    Offline

    Chase See Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2020
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    49
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Hong Kong
    Local Time:
    11:44 PM
    This thread resonates so well with what im thinking. The word masochist makes me think though... am I one. Hmmm
     
    bincorona likes this.
  13. Giles_English
    Offline

    Giles_English Chaste slave

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,207
    Likes Received:
    1,135
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Slave
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:44 PM
    There's a modern book on sex and arousal called "Come As You Are". It doesn't address BDSM. However, it talks about the components of desire:
    • Enjoying — Actual enjoyment, or not, which depends in part on what you identify as enjoyment, and thus on context; an orgasm can be unwelcome.

    • Expectation — Drives purely physical reactions to expected situation, good or bad, mostly independent of the other modules. An unwanted, undesired sexual situation may make you wet/hard. (E.g. scientists have measured women being physically aroused while watching bonobo monkeys mate.)

    • Eagerness — The urge to move toward the situation, or away from it.
    When they are out of sync, that's called "discordance". It's why somebody can be eager to have sex and having fun, but not wet/hard. Or really not wanting a situation, but wet/hard in preparation for it.

    And we already know that fetish works by reinforcement - basically fetishes you jerk off over become stronger fetishes.

    So it occurred to me that what masochists fetishise is the actual experience of discordance, and that awareness of having that fetish itself increases the discordance, and knowing that's what's going on...
     
    Mauiperson and Chase See like this.
  14. janderson32151
    Offline

    janderson32151 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2017
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Local Time:
    10:44 AM
    I keep his cock locked until I feel like edging or torturing it. It could be twice a week or once a month. When that happens I tie him spreadeagle to our bed. When I'm finished I wash it and wait until his cock gets soft enough, then it's back in the cage before I untie him. Several times a year on special occasions I tie him spreadeagle, uncage him, and apply numbing cream to his cock head for about 10 to 15 minutes. Then I wash it. He always overpowers and fucks the hell out of me until he cums which sometimes takes several hours. I can go this long in between fuckings because I have several bulls to satisfy me.
     
    jehuty, Open2njoy, Darlydixon and 3 others like this.
  15. Lakeman
    Offline

    Lakeman Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2017
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    489
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    1:44 AM
    Nailed it @Giles_English !
     
  16. Rectrix
    Offline

    Rectrix Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,068
    Likes Received:
    3,901
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US East Coast
    Local Time:
    11:44 AM
    The longer it goes the more I hate the thought of Day 1. I hate Day 1; I dont much like Days 2 through 20 either. Once I get past that I just submit to the cage, I know it's best for me.
     
  17. Lazlo Toth
    Offline

    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2019
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    823
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Contractor
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Los Angeles, CA
    Local Time:
    8:44 AM
    I share in Rectrix' thoughts on this. The hardest part is beginning the process over again. The dreaded "Day #1" Luckily, my wife has not figured out the difficulty on an immediate relock after a release to orgasm.

    To me, I think the most DIFFICULT "schedule" would be to get released once a week or two weeks, allowed to orgasm, and have to immediately relock. I'd be re-living "Day #1" all the time.
     
    Rectrix and jehuty like this.
  18. handsolo
    Offline

    handsolo Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2020
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    64
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    11:44 AM
    For all the talk of permanent lockup and/or denial, I agree with this. The most difficult lifestyle to live would be hovering at maximum frustration. Caged for long enough periods to become ravenous, teased without release to hone that desire, and once you begin to adjust, an orgasm to force you back to step one.
     
    Lazlo Toth likes this.
  19. esposoEsclavo
    Offline

    esposoEsclavo New member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2020
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Florida
    Local Time:
    11:44 AM

    That does sound pretty intense!

    I wonder what the stages of chastity denial are. I'm currently on day 11 (which is my longest), but I'm going nuts. I feel like a caged lion lol. I'm constantly overwhelmed right now. My wife has told me that there might be an opportunity for release at the end of March. The last two days I've felt like a crack head.

    Right now I totally relate with this I want out, but I don't want out. I don't know what I want. I feel sad almost, because I'm so desperate.

    I keep reading about how guys eventually get over this step and calm down after a while. I'm sure this is different for everybody, but is it normally weeks or months?

    I don't want to cum. I want to survive this, and serve my wife the way she wants. I'm scared to disappoint her. It's just so much harder than I expected. I'm kind of freaking out man.
     
  20. SubSnuggler
    Offline

    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

    Joined:
    May 3, 2017
    Messages:
    426
    Likes Received:
    732
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    10:44 AM
    I have different lengths of recovery, but yes Day 1 always sucks. Living in an FLR, its important that I not allow this to get me in trouble. Sometime by the end of the day I achieve the proper mindset, but sometimes it takes a couple more days.

    I do have certain stable timeframes though. I can handle up to 2 weeks relatively easily, but after that the desire for release starts to skyrocket. I want it so bad I just leak constantly. By week 3 I'm a submissive pile of goo. At week 3, I will literally do ANYTHING for my Wife. I'm helpless at that point. If I can make it past there, I'm relatively stable again although constantly horny.

    The thing for me is past week 2, I'm so incredibly sensitive I will ejaculate almost instantly.

    A week or so ago I was unlocked and told to put on a penis sleeve (to increase my length and girth) and enter Her. The moment I did so - even with the sleeve on - I was over sensitized and began to orgasm.

    This was a release without permission, and I'm absolutely not allowed to thrust or enjoy it if I lose control. So I just laid there, my helpless penis stuck in a sleeve, while I ruined inside it, and my Wife looking at me laughing. It was probably the most humiliating moment I've had in a long time.
     
    Headtrip, Rectrix, tvalex and 3 others like this.
  21. Lazlo Toth
    Offline

    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2019
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    823
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Contractor
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Los Angeles, CA
    Local Time:
    8:44 AM
    Thanks for the acknowledgement I think it would be hell.
     
  22. Lazlo Toth
    Offline

    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2019
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    823
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Contractor
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Los Angeles, CA
    Local Time:
    8:44 AM
    You are arguably at the most difficult time period. (between 7 an 14 days) I share exactly how you feel at that time. Almost want to cry. Sad? Happy? Proud? Wondering what the hell are you doing? Yep. Exactly.

    So my words of encouragement are that it WILL get easier......and your emotions will go in cycles.

    Hang in there if you can. Your wife is doing you a favor making you wait until the end of March.

    You are right, it's probably different for all of us, but here is my "schedule" of feelings on a timeline:

    0 to 7 days = not very horny, neither interested in lock ups or sex or masturbating.
    7 to 14 days = raging horniness, hate being locked up.
    14 to 21 days = calming down. Becoming a really good chaste husband
    Beyond = becoming sort of neutral about it all. More worried about my less than perfect sleep because of the device. At about the one month mark, chastity becomes more of an identity thing than a kink.

    You are doing great. Keep strong.
     
  23. esposoEsclavo
    Offline

    esposoEsclavo New member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2020
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Florida
    Local Time:
    11:44 AM

    Thanks for the reply. Hopefully I follow a similar timeline! I would love to do long term lockups for my wife, but I'm so worried about my emotional/mental state right now lol.
     
  24. Lazlo Toth
    Offline

    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2019
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    823
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Contractor
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Los Angeles, CA
    Local Time:
    8:44 AM

    I believe MANY of here have gone through the emotional struggle as you describe. I certainly have. Embrace it. This period is exactly the sort of transformative event that will make you a far better husband.

    And it DOES get better. So you do not need to worry about that.
     
    Rectrix and esposoEsclavo like this.
  25. boisub
    Offline

    boisub Inaccessible member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2016
    Messages:
    639
    Likes Received:
    591
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northwest US
    Local Time:
    9:44 AM
    Chastity doesn’t really start until you want out!

    That feeling of frustration that seems so delicious when you first lock up turns into real angst as you choose (with the help of your cage and/or KH) to resist your body’s natural urges, as well as all the socialization that tells men it’s fine to rub one out whenever it would feel good.

    That feeling of being a crackhead? It will subside before too long, but it will come back too. When it gets too much, sit down and remind yourself that this is exactly what you wanted. Then do something to show your Wife how much you appreciate her keeping you this way.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice