I think I may have started…

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Deleted member 114215, Dec 7, 2023.

  1. Deleted member 114215
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    So this morning I told her a bit more.

    I told her it was over 8 months since I last played with her cock. She thought it was silly and wondered why I’d do that.

    I told her I’d researched lots about improving relationships and found that guys made better partners when they didn’t play with themselves so often. I told her I was doing it for her so I’d be a better husband!

    She actually thanked me for doing this for her!

    we talked a bit more and I asked her if she’d noticed any difference in me - she said yes. And in particular how I was with the kids.

    I told her how difficult it was sometimes - particularly when we weren’t together. I told her how cuddles and affection help. Knowing she loved me helps. But at times I still really want to play with it.

    I asked her if she thought it made me a better partner if she’d help me to not play with it. She asked how. I told her that it’s her cock, not mine, and that just knowing she didn’t want me to play with it would help a lot.

    So there we have it my friends - we’re beginning to do this together and she says I’m no longer allowed to play with her cock!
     
  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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  3. Shibmo
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    great progress!
    Have fun not touching yourself.

    You might consider making post in te journal forum.
    I found it also helps sometimes to read your own journal, to know how much progress you have already made. Keeping it all in one place makes it easier ;)
     
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  4. Deleted member 114215
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    Just put my cage on… sometimes it’s just nice to be locked… even if she doesn’t yet hold the key!!
     
  5. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Long term member

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    It'll get even better when you present the key to her... Tell her it's her key. :+1:
     
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  6. Deleted member 114215
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    I look forward to that day so much - but I think i need to take things slowly.
     
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  7. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Long term member

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    #7 PornAddict103, Dec 7, 2023
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2023
    Yes, slow and sure is the best way. :+1:

    Sounds like she’s already warmed up to the idea, but I agree there should be an ideal moment for the occasion... Look for obvious signs she wants to take control of you and then Go for it! I have no reason to think either of you will regret it in any way.
     
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  8. Deleted member 114215
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    Only thing that's got me concerned right now... (well maybe not only!!) when we spoke this morning about her lack of interest recently she told me she was asexual.

    Didnt want to react at the time... but I'm thinking about this and perhaps this means "never" and maybe I might be locked and forgotton!!
     
  9. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Long term member

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    #9 PornAddict103, Dec 7, 2023
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2023
    I doubt that tbh. I wouldn’t worry about it, because if you both agreed to a slow approach then it’s not likely she’ll just flip like that.

    I was nervous AF when I first locked myself up… I asked myself “Am I really doing this?” And I quickly realized how great it felt and it really did change me for the better. Everyone’s nervous the first time so it’s perfectly normal. :+1:
     
  10. Deleted member 114215
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    Thanks bud - that helps a lot. Just a lot of nerves i guess!!
     
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  11. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Long term member

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    You’re welcome. :+1:
     
  12. Shibmo
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    Even if she truly is asexual (I doubt it), or has become asexual (people may change during their lives), she will still know you have your own needs.

    if she supports you in this, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations! And enjoy your journey!
     
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  14. Deleted member 114215
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    You’re right buddy - I guess she’s just saying out loud what I’ve seen in the past few years… which is she doesn’t want to have sex anymore. So am not sure why it shocked me.

    She’s shown pretty much zero interest in sex or playing with her cock for that time… which is why I started thinking I needed to change and came up with idea of chastity.

    so in reality this is nothing new… just surprised me to hear the words.

    it’l be Ok!! This is progress as we’re talking about it!
     
  15. Mandrake_74
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    Mandrake_74 Long term member

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    Question is - What do you want?
     
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  16. Shibmo
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    The fact that she expresses herself to you is a huge step. Try to keep the conversation open.

    Try to think for yourself, what do you really want? Do you “just” want to have sex? Or do you want to feel intimacy and connection to your wife?

    What are your true needs?
     
  17. Deleted member 114215
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    What I want is a level of closeness and intimacy again. I can cope with no sex… even no masturbation. But I really need her to have and show feelings for me. Just holding her cock and telling me I’m not allowed to play with it would do.
     
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  18. Mr_anonymous
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    Good on you for talking with her. Personally I never understood self locking while having a partner and never approaching them about it. At worst they say no you self lock still. If they say yes though it's a game changer. Never know until you have that conversation.
     
  19. Deleted member 114215
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    im working up to that conversation… up till now, I’m sure would have been rejected as a stupid idea and thrown back at me… so am trying to make sure I have a half chance of her agreeing before I get to that.

    we have a lot to fix first. And we seem to be beginning to do that at last.
     
  20. Deleted member 114215
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    And largely the self locking has been to prove to myself I can cope with being locked! I guess you already know you can as you do it… so maybe I should just toughen up and accept it’s possible as so many of you guys do. Maybe I’m just trying to make sure the current cage will work 24/7 if she says yes
     
  21. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    It was an awkward conversation for sure. She called it weird and asked what I got out of it etc. She basically said order your stupid toy. Once it got here and on though she snatched key and relationship has been evolving since. Guess I got lucky in a way too though. Take your time with it don't rush or overwhelm her but have the conversation when time is right
     
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  22. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    I get it. Locking and staying locked is far easier when someone wants you locked and has keys though. I don't think I could ever stay in the cage for any length left to my own devices.
     
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  23. Deleted member 114215
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    Easier? Staying locked is no longer optional when someone else has the keys and wants you locked!!!!!
     
  24. Mr_anonymous
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    Kinda my point lol
     
  25. Deleted member 114215
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    Note to self. In the world of chastity… Easier = compulsory
     
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