I love how far I’ve taken my sub husband

I feel a more sober ib-chaste could be inclined to agree that there is some potential in it being genuine.
However, I feel the understanding of tease and denial is lost on the OP.

 

Having gone without orgasm for almost 3 years, I can vouch for the fact that, over time, I have lost the complete focus I once had on orgasms and that not longer bothers me. But, for my prostate health, I am relieved about once every 4-6 weeks, via prostate milking. Since there is never any ejaculation, or anything close to it, I see it is "draining my prostate" only and not much more. Mistress says that my milkings make me "docile" and more manageable. I think this is much healthier than totally shutting down a male's reproductive system.

 

Remember that they're about 20 years into this BDSM thing.

 

Everyone can do it however they want to do it.
I would personally not do it like this.
It doesn’t even sound fun.
And if there is no fun, what is the point?

 

First of all, congratulations on what you have achieved and still want to achieve.
As in other areas of life, I also act in our FLR relationship, according to the motto " stagnation is regression ", so there must always be something new and a further step forward. A typical development within our FLR relationship is for example that in the beginning we made the decisions together, then more and more I had the say and today I make the decisions alone and hubby follows - more or less willingly or also reluctantly. For example, I decided that 2023 should be hubby's first erectionfree year, after he has been pussyfree for almost 3 years and he was already more or less ejaculationfree last year. Also which cages he wears when (smaller, bigger, plastic, metal, spiked, with e-stim connection etc.) and how long only I decide.
Of course, the speed with which such developments go forward is different for each couple. Also the goals are different, for one couple it may already be the pussyfree status of hubby, for another couple the transition to cuckolding. But hopefully for all couples this is always connected with the goal of total sexual satisfaction of the woman.
From my point of you, you are doing everything absolut right!
Jennifer

 

I've read everything and I would love to make a simple question to the keyholder.

Why would you expect him not to have orgasms, I can get the sense of chastity and all the world around. But still, have limits and doubts about the function of not having even cb-locked orgasm under my will and with my desired times.

Is there a mental, physical or other aim you're working to achieve?

 

Good evening Madam
Regarding your question, I humbly believe that there are not two Mistresses, or two slaves with tastes, fetishes or 100% equal fantasies.
We are all different and for some people chastity is temporary, for others prolonged and finally for some it is permanent.
When the wishes of the Mistress coincide with the fetishes and fantasies of the slave and are compatible = BINGO

 

It also very much depends on your age, doesn't it? I wish CM would post age next to the gender. I could see my libido being much lower when I am 80, than if I was 30 years old. Everyone suit yourself, but please communicate well. Maybe include your ages in posts, to have better perspective.

 

There is so much to unpack in this thread.

Without the promise of orgasms, the sub is left to coast on their desire for submission for submission's sake... the love of service... I think that is a rare man that can live that life and I'm not one of those men.

I see Wife Led Marriage and Femdom Marriage as two separate things. One is total vanilla, one is raw kink. My marriage is firmly in the middle of both of these polar ends, as is most submissive males in FLR's I suppose.

Key to my submission to my Wife is that I exist to serve her and pleasure her, and she doesn't like making sacrifices. That means if she wants my cock ,I get hard and I pleasure as best I can. And I pleasure her the way she insists on because I both love her as my Wife and submit to her as my Dominatrix. Neither of those parts of her personality are going to sacrifice enjoying my penis so that I can live out my chastity kink.

Chastity to her is a means of control. Full stop. It's not for my benefit, it's for hers.

But back to this no sex thing...

Both marriage types require a spousal relationship, and key to that relationship is sexual intimacy. Without sexual intimacy, I don't see how there is a 'marriage'. Maybe some kind of symbiotic edge play happens... he gets his and she gets hers... but it's hard to see what would keep a marriage like that vibrant and new. It's just kink play with a roommate IMHO.

 

But that doesn't have to mean that you will never get out.

 

You might want to distinguish between “permanent chastity” and “permanent denial."

 

So many different comments on this.
I’m the sub/slave husband who my Goddess has put this question out to this forum.
We are both in our sixties, and have lived a D’s, BDSM, FLM starting back twenty years ago.
As with every relationship things change and evolve over time.
In our relationship chastity has just progressed over time to where it is now.
I gave ownership of my penis and sexuality to my Goddess years ago, and committed to her whatever her desire was for me sexually. We decided that would be her decision. Because she gets no sexual satisfaction from my penis, it was decided I would not get any either over time. This wasn’t something that happened over night, but it was a goal both of us agreed to, and wanted to get to.
I get my satisfaction from pleasing and obeying her totally and have learned that I can live without my own selfish pleasure of having orgasms.
It’s truly has made me a better husband, sub and slave to her.
The road has certainly been frustrating, but really living in a state of being constantly horny and frustrated is better than a few seconds of sexual pleasure or release.
So please don’t judge her as a heartless Mistress or a disconnect in our love for each other. We communicate and discuss our feelings and how we feel about how our relationship should proceed and progress.
I couldn’t be more happier now than ever with the decision of hers, and giving up orgasms or any relief at all down the road is worth it to me.

 

Thanks @cumslave_2002 for schooling us without wagging a finger too much. While older, I still would not have understood your relationship at all a few years ago, but having just got past a year with no O's, and with other forms of releases becomming less common, I can testify that I am still OK and our relationship keeps getting better.

I do have to ask: do you get to serve @Ms.Shauna or have any "sexual" relations? I so look forward to serving my Queen, and sometimes she gets off from just a long, sensual hug if she can feel my pent up desire. To me, it is like a tall glass of cool water when I am parched. Ecstacy at a much deeper level.

Every relationship is different and I am glad you two are so happy. @Ms.Shauna should be proud (I hope she expected a bit of shock and awe from her post and is not upset).

 

My Wife (KH) and I have only been living the MC lifestyle for 4 years, but I feel the same as you. My penis is controlled now by my Wife. She is 72 and her sex drive is very low. But now with me being denied any orgasms, it has changed our sexual relationship. Pre MC our sex life was O.K., but now it has changed and we think it's to the better. My penis to my Wife is just a toy for her to play with. She told me that having full control over my penis is a big turn on for her. She enjoys teasing me, watching me masturbate and loves denying me orgasms. I'm not sure if we will live this way forever, but we enjoy the way we live now. For us, me having an orgasm is the last thing on our minds. And I'm O.K. with that. Maybe not for every man out there, but it works for us. JMHO

 

@Wife of queens property , reading this, scarily it seems where you're heading wirh our journey, I may fight back a bit but I never thought you'd get me as far as we have already and Im Suprised that I can see our next step becoming normal, so who knows where we'll be in a year and longer.

 

Ooh. Don’t give her ideas. You may come to regret it.
Do you have a journal/thread that details your journey?

 

The main difference between this post and us, is that the KH gets no sexual satisfaction from her partners Penis, and therefore doesn't see the need to use it. That is very much not the case with us. Orgasm denial is one thing. Never fucking you ever again, is another.

 

Hi, we don't have a documentation to our journey, but I did pop an introduction post up a few days ago with a brief rundown of our relationship since we started our journey if you'd like to read it

 

Phew.

 

That is a sigh of relief heard 'round the Mansion...

 

The sole and only reason for my wife to allow an orgasm is she feels like giving me one. It may be from wanting to see me being orgasmic, just to watch cum shoot out, to initiate some intimacy, or just cause she thinks I deserve to feel good and have earned it.

Some might say…that’s not very equal! What gives her the right to withhold pleasure while she receives it whenever she wants? I answer, no it’s not equal, and I forfeited those rights long ago.

The benefits of not letting me cum or out of my cage is a needy, pampering, attentive partner.
The benefits of letting me cum are renewed intimacy for a few minutes, seeing/hearing my satisfaction and relief.

So she walks a tightrope of getting the benefits of letting me cum occasionally, with the standardization of getting the benefits of not letting me cum.

As far as sexual needs for her, me being locked has little to do with her sexual gratification. She has said herself that she could go without it forever and does it “just because I like to sometimes”. Her gratification is from toys, fingers, and mouth, I don’t rank at all. That’s ok, she still cums, just not with my penis. I don’t need to be the center of attention. Why not you might ask? Because I like knowing that every time she unlocks me, every single time she touches it, every time I cum, it’s because she truly wants that to happen. No guilt ridden pity fucks, no lazy handjobs, no obligatory actions to “do her part”.

I’ve always hated that feeling, receiving attention when I know they don’t want to give it. They feel they should do to dogma and society, so go through the motions…but they don’t really want to. I would rather go without then know someone was fooling around because they thought they had to.

 

Yes @Headtrip we do have romantic and intimate times together. We cuddle in bed at night, and hug sometimes. She will always give after care hugs and cuddles after corporal punishment sessions.
She will kiss me when she feels like it. Otherwise I may not kiss her, other than kneeling at her feet to kiss them.
Even though she is in her sixties, she still loves me pleasing her orally a couple times a week.
I get my sexual satisfaction from bringing her to multiple orgasms on these occasions, and listening to her in ecstasy and screaming how much she is cumming so hard, almost makes me orgasm myself.
Sometimes she will have me use a strap on if she feels the need to be penetrated. Otherwise she loves to peg me and I love feeling her inside me now.
Finally to keep our intimacy about my devotion, Goddess will have me savour her golden nectar monthly. I truly enjoy having something from her body in my body. It’s replacing the days gone by that I would leave my cum in her.
So I truly enjoy just sharing how much we still have such a deep connection, even if it’s mostly one sided sexually now. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way now.
Hope you understand what it’s like to give yourself completely to the person you love more than anything and giving things up is so worth it for me.

 

Clearly there is love and devotion there, which is always my concern. Sometimes kink overwhelms and removes those (imho) necessary components of a successful marriage. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Thanks for sharing your amazing story.

 

No it certainly has not for us. My Goddess could be harsher with me. And is at times, but we have settled into a lifestyle and routine over the years that she enjoys. We often talk about how things have changed over the years, and from her really starting out new to this when she was in her forties until now. It even blows her away. She takes pride in how she has taken a Alpha male and turned him into her loving and willing sub/slave husband.

 

@cumslave_2002 , I totally get that. Sounds like you two have a rich love life with plenty of intimacy. Congrats!