"I like that you can't cum"

Oh no! How did you cope? This sounds terrible for you !!

But honestly, there is a difference between teasing and creating genuine expectations. One is fun, the other is actually detrimental. I would discuss how you felt about it… obviously, without upsetting her.
But if she had just said simply, “oh, 6 weeks. Don’t worry we’ll have some fun later tonight”, you’d have laughed to yourself a little at the situation when you had your head buried between her legs.

 

There have been many times in the last couple years I swore my Wife was setting up my hopes of rewards or treats, only to “forget” or change her mind last minute. I figured she was just exercising her new found power or testing limits etc.
Then when we’d have check in talks about how chastity was going for each of us and how we’d like to see things go, I’d sometimes ask about some of those events, and she’d have no clue what I was talking about, she’d always find those incidents very amusing of course.
The good thing about all those times, they still served an important purpose for both of us I think. I learned to just go with the flow of things and let go of that last bit of expectation that I’d still cling to, and she realized no matter what, she really was in charge and can have what she wants when she wants, and I’ll be her eager pet. So her confidence kept growing.

I will say, after 6 weeks and not knowing when relief is in sight, I’d probably be getting on edge as well. My longest has been 55 days, but I knew our anniversary trip was coming and I would be as well

Hopefully she’ll have some mercy on you soon and give you a little something to keep you motivated at least!

 

I have to admit i am not good that that. I really try hard to have no expectations but if I am "told" something will or might happen, its like locking a peg into a peg board. Managing the let down is difficult.

That said, if my partner changed her mind and put my face between her legs, that would not really count as a let down for me, that would be a bonus lol.

Managing expectations I think is one of the most challenging aspects of chastity.

For example, valentines day happened to correspond with one of two nights we are mostly intimate, confidence was high something was going to happen, all was good and as such I could not help but hope pretty hard, hope and expectation are slightly different, but the line blurs. I had prepared myself that nothing might happen, let alone be allowed an O. Actually if she decided I wasnt having a O I would have been fine with that. As it turns out we had a really nice session and I got to reset my counter

 

That old saying that you're not really in chastity until you don't get what you want, until you're denied when you don't want to be denied, applies here. You're a chaste husband @M@rcellus. You're locked for a reason, and it's not so you can get blowjobs or have expectations. As @Queens servant73 says, you need to just go with the glow of things and let go of expectations. Your wife's confidence is growing, and she demonstrated that when she told you point blank that it was too late for a blow job and that she just needed you to snuggle with her.

And you should never be angry or feel sorry for yourself when you are given the opportunity to worship her holy place. You should thank her profusely for the privilege of giving her pleasure. Your pleasure comes from the throbbing in your cage, from knowing that you are pleasuring her and becoming a better husband.

 

There is a lot of wisdom in your words. I can tell after a year of almost continual chastity and working very hard retraining my brain to derive my pleasure from pleasuring her and being a better husband, that I still have a long ways to go.

Therapists who work with sexual addicts tell them that it takes 3 to 5 years to overcome your addiction and find full healing.

 

Getting pleasure from her pleasure is something that was always there throughout our marriage, but the incredible intensity that chastity brought to it has been eye opening!
It is definitely one of my favorite things that I’ve enjoyed as chastity has become so much more serious and my normal life.
Sharing in her orgasm in whatever role she asks me to, I’ve started looking forward to it far more than my own full orgasm knowing that I’ll lose the chastity high and total lust feelings for a bit afterwards.

 

You are now well on the road to becoming your wifes loving slave. embrace it .. Once you give into her wishes it is so nice to never argue again. just live to please her .

 

Just my observation ! No offence meant ! It seems you mention only sex in your relationship ,and not submission. Myself and several others on here see chastity ,being caged ,as a tool for our wives to use to control our everyday actions ,and attitudes. Once caged with no escaping unless allowed , it's natural to want to please the wife ,and instead of attempting to manipulate the situation , accept that she controls your manhood ,she is superior to you . Show her your willingness to serve her in everyway . No the house work, the dishes ,ask her to make a list of assignments she would like done around the house . Take her car to the car wash every time it looks like it needs it. vacum the inside too, put her favorite smell in the car with an air freshener . In general show her you want to be her slave . You don't have to use the word slave ,but by your actions show her ! If she takes advantage of her control , you will have a most pleasant life ahead of you .

 

Some women like to have dominant control over their men it sounds like. My wife likes having more of a passive control and appreciates my voluntary submission to her. She doesn't want to be telling me things she wants me to do for her. She wants me to take the initiative to do things for her, plan quality time together and affirm her daily. She'll let me know if she doesn't appreciate the things I try to do and I have to be humble enough to not let my pride get in the way. But that's easy when I'm chasted, teased and denied.

 

I actually found the idea of them far more practical in my head. In practice the bars kind of just get in the way.
For more controlled exposure we now have a chest to thigh restraint.

 

Not much to add, we have one that’s a rigid cloths covered one with Velcro cuffs on it. I haven’t been put in it, we’ve had it for years and I used it on my Wife a few times when I was in charge of our sex lives. It really is better in fantasy than reality I guess, I always preferred moving her into multiple positions and some other devices made that easier.
I hope she wears you out and you get everything you’re hoping for! Two months is a long time! Good luck!

 

I agree!

 

I missed those feelings of watching my Mistress drift off into a happy sexually satisfied sleep . I used to go down on her then after she would like a relaxing massage . I'd sit with my legs spread and her head between then looking up. She loved head/scallop massages ,and I'd often massage her for over 3 hours at a time . It relaxed me too. I loved hearing her sleepy voice say " honey that feels so good " as she'd partly waken from her sleep then drift back to sleep .

 

Yes I made a leg spreader bar to take to my Queen. About that time she had started whipping me with a cable that was for the TV to cablevision wall outlet.
The few times she had targeted my inner thighs was exceptionally painful. It didn't happen because my legs were not always spread while being whipped .But when she did connect with my cock and balls she later asked how they felt ,and said she enjoyed knowing the pain was still there .
I soon realized with the spreader bar ,my Queen would have a perfect target. Since she had often told me to open my legs when being whipped with just the belt ,so she could " whip that useless cock and balls " ,I realized that now she was using the much more painful cable on me that he would take full advantage of my open targets . i feared I may have a heart attack while being ,spread and whipped with the deadly cable . I decided niot to tell my Queen that I had a spreader bar ..

 

The first time I gave my wife oral sex after she made it clear she would not be unlocking me anytime soon I took my time and really worshiped her pussy. She thoroughly enjoy my effort nad afterward said she should have locked me up years earlier than she did.

 

Paragraph 1 I generally agree with. It might not work for everyone, but probably applies to a large proportion of chastity practitioners.

Paragraph 2 is too extremely opinionated and narrow to work for a lot of people. Telling someone where their pleasure should come from, how they should feel, is taking things a bit too far. We aren’t all going to experience pleasure from the same things, and what works for you might be a negative for others. “You should thank her profusely for the privilege of giving her pleasure” is artificial and nonsensical to me. Fine if you feel that way, and even if you suggest that it’s a laudable goal. But to say that they SHOULD do that, and feel that way — no.

 

Fine for you, but saying it “should” be that way for everyone is nonsense.

 

In Kinklandia, your statement is both correct and completely unnecessary. Anyone saying "this is how it must be done" is wrong; we all know that, even if some of us still say stupid things like "this is how it must be done"