I just wanna jerk off...waaaaaa

i want sooo badly to just rub one out. i was locked for 7 months and just given a release 22 days ago but it feels like it just was not enough. I had a dream i got ahold of it and went to town. i woke up to a wet spot, so it was a pretty vivid dream. i can only hope that as the weeks and months go on it will get easier again. i will be lucky if i get 1 release this year so it could get better or worse.

 

But do you really though? I know you think you want to, but do you really want to? You signed up for this chastity thing, so you knew what was coming (ok, poor choice of word, lol).

 

Oh, I know what i got my self into. But the reason I am pierced, locked and tagged is because I am not able to show restraint or be trusted.

 

It's only been a few days for me. Currently not locked (and somehow the thought of having to admit to her that I came without permission is bad enough to keep me from doing it, ever). But yeah, already going insane.

 

When you do have a full orgasm after being locked for a while, don't you hate the drop and question whether it was worth it? I'm still in the early days here and even though my wife is happily playing along, I'm still self-locking at the moment. So, after 18 days into this, I had my first full O since starting, and to be honest, the drop wasn't worth it and I sort of regretted it. The main reason I agreed to it was to see what the drop felt like. The next O came after another 21 days and this one was ruined and it was the best sexual experience that I've ever had. Sure, I didn't get the final 5 seconds of enjoyment that a full O might have given, but the handjob lasted maybe 15-20 minutes and it was exquisite, so ruineds aren't all bad. I'm really keen to try for 90 days and see what that's like.

 

Been locked up for 23 days so far and I’m dying here. Most nights my wife will tease me to the point of me bulging through my cage and then with a sarky ‘that’s it’ comment she turns her back and it’s time to go to sleep. I’m aching to grab my cock and let it all out.

 

It's so weird. At times I would give absolutely anything to be able to jerk off, but recently my mistress and I had a session where she allowed me to cum...yes it was absolutely amazing...like I thought I was going to have a heart attack it was so good, but I felt so guilty and different afterwards. I almost regretted it and I've been debating on the next time we do have a session possibly telling her to just take me to the edge and then stop completely instead.

 

I'm caged to keep my hands off of my cock. 134 days since my last jerk off and I think about it daily

 

335 days since my last jerkoff and i still am glad i'm caged.
And my queen/wife take care of my ruins and rare full Orgasm.

Ehen the cage cones off i give self 5days and i'm back to jerking off 2 times a day

 

Even if you go just a little bit too far, the backup plan can be a ruined orgasm, that way you can really try to find the edge knowing that even if you go over it, with a ruined O you don't get the drop afterwards, so there's no regrets. I had my first ruined O just over a week ago and it was the best experience ever. Even though you miss out on the glorious 5 seconds of real orgasm at the end, you still have the memory of the handjob that got you there.

 

While I don't have a chastity cage yet, it is on order, I have been practicing masturbation and orgasm denial, but also looking at porn a lot and interacting with women online a little, and writing erotica, so exposing myself to sexual stimulation, but not necessarily feeling aroused while doing it, but producing precum a lot.

Have felt a lot of desire to touch today, wishing the cage was here.

My sexual desire has definitely been decreasing the past few years, which I am happy with, not having a sexual partner.

In my younger years spent way to much time masturbating.

More details in my journal: https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/sizing-journey.44583/

 

I love the question/concept. Only problem is that it has flipped for me. I love HER orgasms better. They give me a higher quality high. I really do miss when I had those selfish screaming Orgasms that I thought were the best, I just cannot unlearn now that they weren't. Sorry, does that make sense?

 

I've been 10 days locked since my last full O and I'm in that middle spot where you are horny as hell for a few days. My Wife has been hinting she wants to do a scene tonight so I might just get some relief though.

 

It has been so long I am not sure if I truly want to do it. Mistress allows me to use vibrator on my cage or on penis but never full stroke anymore been 6 months since my last full and she said it was my last.

 

Small reward, short relief.

 

This is a really confusing and kind of dualistic question for me as a recovering masturbator. I used to love masturbating and cumming and eating the semen, but I've come to acknowledge and understand that it was bad for my marital intimacy. I told my wife I was a masturbator and that a primary reason -- the primary reason? -- for the chastity cage was to get beyond the erectile narcissism and self-absorption of being a masturbator and to open myself to her more in our marriage. As of right now, I haven't masturbated since October and I want to stay that way. But like @Coffeeandcaged says, I still think about it daily, about how that erection would feel, about spurting, about the consistency and taste of cum. But I've come to hate the drop and I know it's not worth it and then there's that whole layer of self-disappointment and shame that I'd feel if I fell back. But yeah, I really want to do it, I really miss it. I wonder if the need to jerk off ever goes away.

 

Very well said I feel the same

 

I originally read this on Fetlife.com, but just discovered she published on the open internet too.

https://lustmoments.com/blog/chastity-the-red-pill-version/

In part she (who has male genitalia) says:

"Truth #9. – You may learn to hate orgasms. You get so used to NOT cumming, that your muscles that do it atrophy. Orgasms can become quite painful. They can also be mentally debilitating. Especially when your cum is ruined. I’d rather not cum at all than have one ruined. It’s crushing. It makes you cry. It may make you angry. Or you may actually laugh. If you do get to have a real, exciting, powerful, unruined orgasm, be prepared to clean it up. There will be a hell of a lot of it, and depending on your partner, they may feel a need for that to be recycled. The only problem now is, that great white has turned into a sea snail. Ick!"

This what I hope to achieve, the move to beyond orgasm. If I do release semen, I don't want it to be pleasurable, and I am finding I like being flaccid and leaking.

Admittedly this is more thought than fact, at this point in time, as I am still attracted to women.

I don't consider myself a submissive, even though I enjoy giving women pleasure more than PIV and BJs.

Perhaps I am too accustomed to my own hand, which I'm attempting to change.

On the flip side, a medication I took a few years back basically turned me into an eunuch, and being in this state involuntarily wasn't enjoyable, especially feeling as though your testicles were discernably shrinking.

 

I literally LOL'd at that one, should we all meet up at the next MA meeting???

I don't know if this is still up to you or not, but if you're allowed to, it is really nice to have some time to just feel yourself, without even trying to masturbate. A week or so back, the morning wood was really pushing my cage, so I thought "why not just let it out for once?" so I did, and I just felt it and massaged it for a few minutes. It had been a while since I'd had that type of contact with myself (other than just cleaning and changing cages) and it felt really good. And there's no drop, no cum, no regrets.

 

my Wife unlocked me over Christmas, when i asked when i was going to be relocked, She said not for a while, have fun. The joke is when i did finally try to pull one off i got all of two inches long, not hard, and came. oops. Love what being caged is doing to my worthless little clit.

 

I want to get pierced for the same reason

 

I do now and then when I'm locked. But if she unlocks me for longer than is needed to clean or do some infrequent activity that needs the cage off, the feeling of missing it and wanting the cage back on feels much stronger than the previous feeling of wanting a release.

Maybe the intensity of being locked, is preferable to the lack of that same when unlocked.

 

The whole purpose of my cage is to prevent me from masturbating, which had become a major problem in our marriage. I don't want to go back to that situation. My wife now controls if and when I can orgasm.