but here go's anyway In my "Re-Intro" thread I started a couple weeks ago- https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/my-re-intro-thread.28389/#post-271633 I went into a little detail about where I'm at and what led me (back) here. Two day's ago a package arrived in the mail, all the way from China. It contained both chastity cages I recommended, not just one. I didn't expect my wife to order both, but, she did. One is a super short cage, one is a little longer. I posted pics here in my Gallery, but there are awaiting Moderation. Both have removable urethral tubes - which I like as it keeps me from slipping out - and removable spikes which I don't like so much. One came with the wrong size ring, but she contacted the vendor and a correct size ring is on the way. I require a 50mm ring or I simply cant wear it. They are not interchangeable. I immediately cleaned them thoroughly and I am wearing the super short one right now - without the tube or spikes. It was my intention to wear them for a couple of days (before I discovered the wrong size ring) to learn the in's and out's of them so to speak, but she claimed the keys immediately. She laid out the ground rules for me as well - I am not to push her into or out of anything. She will proceed at her own pace and I am to accept it. That's it. Nice and easy. I woke up this morning and I experienced the best feeling in the world - snug panties pressing against my locked self. For a half hour or so after I wake up, I am almost euphoric. I missed this so much. So there it is guys and Gals. Happily locked as of 8/15/18.
Thanks Lester. I am fully committed to not messing it up this time. I expressed to her (in the letter) how I feel, in that I didn't know how good I had it, and how lucky I was to have her hold the keys - back when I was locked a few years ago. I feel bad for those that don't have a Keyholder, I know the frustration of needing someone, anyone, to take control.
Just a brief update - I have achieved a new record for being locked up. My old record was 15 days, I am currently at 17 days locked. It's a bigger deal than some might know, to me it's huge
Just a little - disappointing - update. I don't get unlocked this month,until at least the middle of next month. I have been locked constantly, except for one day trip to the beach with my wife, but, I was still under her control at all times, so, I was still considered "locked" by her own rules. I have easily broken my last record of chastity though. It was 15 days. It has been at least a month since my last orgasm, closer to a month and a half - I didn't write down or record when that was. My balls are as full as they have ever been, hugely swollen and aching, and strangely, I love it. I haven't seen any evidence of leaking in my panties, but it feels like I could (leak) at any time. It's a very strange feeling. The only major problem we had this month was with wearing the urethral probe/catheter than came with the cage. I was having some unusual pain inside me, so I was allowed to unlock and investigate. I was bleeding a little bit - there was blood inside the clear tube - so I removed the catheter and relocked, No other problems than that. Thank you all for reading my babblings, enjoy
So.......I got hit with some kind of bug awhile back. It kicked my ass. I was out of commission for a week and a half. At some point in my misery, I unlocked - I am my own KH - just so I could rest better. Locktober is a fail for me, but, it is what it is. I am currently locked, and fighting the desire to unlock and do something I'll regret later. For some reason the urge is super strong lately.
More mindless babblings..... I had a Dr's Appointment this morning, asked her if I could unlock, of course she let me. The very first thing I did upon returning was to get re-caged. In my haste to relock, I failed to get everything lined up correctly, even though I thought everything was cool. If the 2 prongs on the cage don't line up perfectly with the holes on the base ring, it pinch's the skin. I promptly gave her the keys, which she accepted. So, after 15 minutes or so, I noticed the problem and told her what I did, and that I needed the keys for a minute. Now, normally she says the key's are in her jewelry box - which I strictly forbidden from going into, but she told me to wait a minute and she would get them. A subtle change, but not unnoticed. Even though she said earlier that I wasn't to "push" her into anything, I did let her know a little of what I was thinking and feeling. I told her I was getting pretty comfortable wearing the cage full time again - it's a perishable skill, if you don't maintain it - and I was looking forward to me wearing it until the end of the year, or longer - something we discussed awhile ago. I could "sense" a different tone in her words, eye contact and body language as I was dumping all this on her. She did let me know I should wait until tomorrow to finish my thoughts about this as she is getting a head cold, stuffy nose, body ache thing, so I thanked her for taking the keys and gave her a light kiss. I was daydreaming later on in the day, remembering how she used to administer "Fun spankings" and "Beatings" - her definitions, not mine. Fun spankings were just that, a cross between what some would call a maintenance spanking and a funishment. She has this uncanny knack of finding the right groove between strength of the impact and my endorphin level(s). Their were times she could be wailing the ever loving fuck out of my ass and I would be begging her for more. Beatings were just that, punishment plain and simple. They were almost always a surprise to me, but sometimes not. I was to report to the side of the bed - more swinging room for her - strip down to panties around ankles and wait. She would always begin those sessions with nearly full force blows and believe me when I say That. Girl. Can. Swing. One time I was told to be quiet and (with my head hanging down) to look at the G@d D#$n cage and let it take the pain. She is a master of the dramatic. Those words stung because she was genuinely upset with me and she had never, ever disciplined me like that when she was angry before or since. Even though I don't really miss the beatings, I do miss the level that we connected at, at an intensity that non-kink couples rarely ever achieve - I think.
Got up early, drinking coffee, everybody is still in bed, got all my chores done yesterday, listening to some 90's Rock and Grunge. :headbang: Sip.....ahh.....life is good....
As we had to take a mini road trip today, we got to finish the conversation we started last Friday. I explained to her that I was having some problems adjusting (accepting) to the fact that I am going to be locked for the rest of the year and maybe longer. Specifically I am having various degrees of panic attacks from being locked up for such a duration. I have sought treatment in the past for depression and rage problems, from the crap I had to put up with while I was in the Army. About 4 years after I got out of the Army, around 2009 or so, I started having some pretty fucked up mental health problems, but, it's been years since I've had any serious issues. I wanted her to understand what I was going through - she witnessed some of my problems in the past. I tried to kill her one night, in her sleep, and I broke one of her toe's fighting her that night. I've put her on Guard Duty countless times and I've "cleared" the house with a shotgun (unloaded) twice. I remember none of that. She asked me what my plan was, for dealing with the panic attacks and I told her I just had to accept it. She was pleased with my answer, and that made me happy. She let me of a couple of things she wanted me to improve on - behaviour related and I let her know I was going to do this not just for me, but for both of us. It was a good day today.
You are going through things that I have no answer to and I’m not going to try and say that I do. I do hope she’s taken all the bullets out of your house. It’s very nice to hear that your talking with her and dealing with your issues. Communication is so important so many people don’t communicate their feelings with their spouses. I can definitely say that my communication skills towards my Wife have improved since we started Chastity. That male aggressiveness that all men have has been softened a lot over the years. Giving control of yourself to someone you Love can be a great thing. All the best to you as you continue your life of commitment to your Wife. Thanks for sharing.
So....... I've only had one little panic attack this past week, a very small one, but just one. I seem to be accepting my position a little better anyway. Being locked for such a long time has actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I truly hope it gets easier as time go's by. I've been writing a short (it turned into a six page confessional) letter for my wife this past week, working on it for a few minutes at the end of every day. She told me awhile back not to push her into anything, and I haven't. This is more of a "what's on my mind lately" letter, my hopes and desires for the both of us, our marriage and our future. I also put a few words in there about how being chaste for this long has physically changed my body and my mind, some fears of mine and how I desperately need and want to show her how serious I am about this. She knows I am writing this letter and I gave it to her last night so she could read it today - again, a personal milestone for us both. I would like to thank everyone of you Ladies and gentleman here who, probably unknown to you, have helped me tremendously with your knowledge and expertise. Thank you all, and wish me luck.
Good luck sbb.... I too write letters to my wife. I find it much easier to open up to her in a letter. And most often I read it to her initially so she can get a flavor of my voice and emotion in the words I have written. Then she will take it and read it to herself before we have a discussion together. It works well for us, and she truly appreciates the hard copy if the words.
ooer. I dint know that you was a bit poorly , I hope that you get happier and that you dont have another panic.