It has been a stressful 6 months. Work. Family. Stuff. Chastity has been a constant focus for me (maybe even an escape) from some of the things that keep me up at night. My wife let me out of my Jailbird for some glorious marital sex as we celebrated our 30th anniversary. She got several orgasms from my tongue and then suddenly jingled the keys to my cage like she was ringing a dinner bell. I had been allowed PIV just a month ago so I wasn't expecting it but I certainly didn't turn it down. When everything was over the cage wasn't mentioned, I put it in a drawer and we both went to sleep. Days went by, I got bored one afternoon when the work schedule lightened up and decided to edge. My mistake was using a flesh light which had been in the closet for a long time. It felt so good and I went too far so even removing myself from the toy didn't help. Not a ruined orgasm but not the mind shattering O I had just shared with my wife a few days earlier. It had been 400+ days since I masturbated. I took things into my own hands and while it isn't the greatest crisis, I am disappointed in my own behavior. Much like trying to lose weight and eating that brownie, I knew better and did it anyway. Today I have handed over the keys to my wife and asked her to put them away making it clear that I haven't yet locked up. "Maybe I'll get back on track today." I've given everything a close shave and all that's left is to get back in the cage. My only issue is that she woke up this morning (and went to bed last night) teasing me, rubbing me, reminding me that I hadn't returned to the cage and my animal brain wants the option to fail again. It has never been this difficult to lock back up. I like being caged. I like the feeling. I like the secret game we play. We have absolutely grown closer from this lifestyle. And yet I'm toying with just rubbing one out like the old days right now. The psychology behind chastity is deep y'all. I need to explain to my wife that I am unable to control myself when given the option. I need to confess the unpermitted orgasm. I need to lock up right away.