It has been a stressful 6 months. Work. Family. Stuff. Chastity has been a constant focus for me (maybe even an escape) from some of the things that keep me up at night. My wife let me out of my Jailbird for some glorious marital sex as we celebrated our 30th anniversary. She got several orgasms from my tongue and then suddenly jingled the keys to my cage like she was ringing a dinner bell. I had been allowed PIV just a month ago so I wasn't expecting it but I certainly didn't turn it down. When everything was over the cage wasn't mentioned, I put it in a drawer and we both went to sleep. Days went by, I got bored one afternoon when the work schedule lightened up and decided to edge. My mistake was using a flesh light which had been in the closet for a long time. It felt so good and I went too far so even removing myself from the toy didn't help. Not a ruined orgasm but not the mind shattering O I had just shared with my wife a few days earlier. It had been 400+ days since I masturbated. I took things into my own hands and while it isn't the greatest crisis, I am disappointed in my own behavior. Much like trying to lose weight and eating that brownie, I knew better and did it anyway. Today I have handed over the keys to my wife and asked her to put them away making it clear that I haven't yet locked up. "Maybe I'll get back on track today." I've given everything a close shave and all that's left is to get back in the cage. My only issue is that she woke up this morning (and went to bed last night) teasing me, rubbing me, reminding me that I hadn't returned to the cage and my animal brain wants the option to fail again. It has never been this difficult to lock back up. I like being caged. I like the feeling. I like the secret game we play. We have absolutely grown closer from this lifestyle. And yet I'm toying with just rubbing one out like the old days right now. The psychology behind chastity is deep y'all. I need to explain to my wife that I am unable to control myself when given the option. I need to confess the unpermitted orgasm. I need to lock up right away.
Put the cage back on, admit what you did, and move on. To be fair it sounds like you just did it on auto pilot, so maybe not be to hard on your self.
Cage back in place. She checked last night before we went to bed. I put off telling her since she was dead tired and there was other drama going on. I'll admit that I did just a little edging after I posted the message above just because her motions lately have been to keep the cage on for a month at a time. Animal brain wanted one last erection and some stimulation before I returned to the steel. I need to talk to her (again) about not letting me wander free.
since it was mostly harmless Id just keep it to yourself! it won't do anyone any good and that treat you got may not happen for a while... It sounds like you have punished yourself enough, just don't do it again
I agree with you @Doug Scibor and disagree with @caged to honor wife. Doug, you do need to lock back up (I know, you have) and you do need to explain to your wife that you are unable to control yourself. For masturbators, it doesn't matter how long we've been locked, two weeks or 8 months (like me) or 400 days, like Doug. We're like alcoholics, we need to stay out of saloons and away from Fleshlights. Masturbating detracts from intimacy -- that's why we all feel like we've grown closer to our wives when we're locked -- and you can recover some of that lost intimacy by having the honestly to intimately confess to your wife that you failed, that being let out of chastity even for one or two nights is not good, we need the help of our chastity devices. And no, it's not "mostly harmless" -- it goes to the core of who we are and what we're trying to become as chaste husbands. It will do you both good to confess -- the secret you are holding is blocking honest intimacy, and she needs to know how weak we are so she can be aware and not think she can relax or leave us uncaged.
I took a deep breath last night and told her. Me: I have a confession to make. She: Were you not good? (she knew right away and wasn't surprised) Me: Last Wednesday when I was unlocked, I didn't intend for it to happen but I went too far. She: (chuckles) Yeah, right. Me: I tried to stop in time but I did a bad job with my timing. She: This is why I ask you to lock up right away. Me: I know better but that's exactly the time I HATE to lock up. She: Hmmm... Me: We need to work together to be more diligent. I am not reliable when I'm free. She: (chuckles, again) Me: I'm sorry I'm so weird. I wish I understood why. She: Maybe you're not. Me: Do you think it makes a difference when I'm locked up? Her: I think it does. You certainly seem to have more fun when I let you out. Her next contribution was to begin teasing me gently as she drifted off to sleep. Not the great transgression that I took it to be but I feel guilty and like I let her down anyway. Live and learn in the land of chaste males. I am caged for a reason.
I’m not surprised at her reaction. Some of us don’t actually care if you masterbate but are happy to help you achieve your own goals. I would have exactly the same reaction and probably enjoy teasing you about how hard it is to not masterbate and even try to make it harder for you by leaving you unlocked and teasing the heck out of you until you couldn’t resist masterbating. By this time in your journey she knows that teasing you doesn’t have to lead to sex so it’s the same amount of fun “torturing” you (or just having you torture yourself) whether or not you’re caged. heh heh I bet she had a grand old time making you/seeing you squirm in frustration at your inability to control yourself! . Makes me chuckle just thinking about it!