I am locked in a chastity device - And my wife knows!

Update: I was able to go 15-days locked. One day past my last personal best. But the ring chaffing was getting bad. A week ago, last Saturday, after a day of moving furniture, it hurt badly and I unlocked. I told her, and I told her why. Over the next few days, despite some 22-hour days, packing-up my apartment, and moving half-way across the country, I found time to masturbate to orgasm once a day.

I arrived home late last Thursday night. We were both tired and had a lot to do, so it wasn't until Saturday night that we had sex. On Sunday morning, after showering, I locked-up and handed her the key. "Oh, we're still doing that?" "Yes, for all the reasons we discussed," I answered. Life happened for a few days, and while we cuddled in bed, and there was a occasional cage grab, teasing isn't really in my wife's wheelhouse. This morning (early!) she asked if I wanted to, "...come out to play?" I told her that it wasn't really my choice, but if she was asking my opinion, it was a strong, "Yes!" She had apparently moved the key from her wallet to the nightstand, because she quickly handed me the key and told me to take off my cage.

We had pretty conventional missionary position intercourse. I came. She did not. We then headed to the coffee pot and the hot tub, in that order. I brought the cage with me, as it's easy to get into my tiny little cage in the hot tub, as Mr. Happy is pretty soft and squishy. I asked her, "I suppose you want me to lock back up?" Her response was, "Yes, of course! The key is mine. I still don't get why you want this, but I like the power."

I asked her if she enjoyed the morning's lovemaking. I almost always get her off by going down on her, before or after intercourse - she and I are both comfortable with me cleaning her up. I honestly cannot recall if I have ever given her an orgasm with PIV. She told me, "Yes. It doesn't always have to be some long, drawn-out big production number, sometimes I just need you inside of me. I like it when you cum in me. That's all I need. It makes us closer."

We talked about the fact that she's continuing to read her book. I asked her if she had made it to the part about how the device works, with illustrations, and she has. I put it on while she watched, but I did it (the small cage can be challenging to align the ring posts and integrated lock without pinching) and then handed her the key. She snatched it out of my hand, climbed out of the tub and headed for the shower.

So, there you have it. I was locked four days. I am locked again. We'll see what the future holds!

 

"Oh, I could never have an orgasm and leave you locked! That'd be selfish!" She came to bed at midnight, having had a few beers with a friend. She was wide-awake and horny. I was sound asleep. I suggested that she still wasn't grasping the power of the key. "But I like having you inside of me!"

What could I do? She's the boss. I had said so when I asked her to accept my key. We made love. I came inside of her. She didn't come. She warned me, "In the morning, I will need you to, well, 'you know,' I am still horny!" I said to her, "What? 'You know' what? Say the words." She's so shy. I asked her if she had ever had an orgasm from intercourse in our 35-years of lovemaking. She admitted she had not. I expected as much. I said, "How do I make you cum?" She could not answer, but pushed me onto my back and scooted-up my chest and plopped her cream-filled pussy on my face by way of answer. I gave it the old college try, but I suspect the alcohol inhibited her orgasm a bit.

That was not the case this morning, when she wanted me inside her again. I could not cum, but I pulled out and proceeded to give her an quaking orgasm with fingers and tongue. As soon as she came down, I was rock hard, and plunged into her - I lasted perhaps two minutes, and came inside of her.

I have this fantasy of tease and denial, but I am riding her wave, not mine. I told her she was starting to grasp the tease, but needed work on the denial piece. "Why would I deny myself? You are locking-up again, right?"

I have had more sex in the last week, than the past six-months... The adventure continues!

 

I am indeed, which leads me to rethink those threads from a couple of weeks ago... If I don't masturbate (frankly, if she keeps up this pace, not only will I have no need to, my dick will be too sore from overuse) and I am locked-up whenever she does't want to use it, am I in "full-time" chastity? When we lived apart, I was working on how long I could stay caged. Now, it's out frequently - but only when she wants it to be. I keep resetting my timer ticker... All these months worrying that she'd lock me up and throw away the key, but our new "hobby" seems to have turned her crank and I love it!

 

To add to my recent status update, "This is harder than I thought...,"

I am my own worst enemy. Sometimes she brings up the topic of my chastity mid-week, and we'll talk about it a bit. I try to explain things. But if she doesn't mention it first, I keep my pie-hole shut. I'm am chaffed, but I don't complain. I need her to be more strict, perhaps tease just a little, but her interpretation seems to be, "Let's just have more frequent vanilla sex."

Last Friday night, we retired early, and got frisky. She fondled the cage a bit, and told me that she was serious about her statement earlier in the week, "Only I know where the key is," but that she, "didn't have it with her." I thought, "Whoo hoo! She's finally catching on!" Nope. She said, "Where's yours? I don't feel like getting mine." I explained that my key was only for emergencies, and that it was out in the garage. Could I have easily gotten it? Yes. We had sex the previous Saturday morning, and it was now Friday night. So I went down on her, and got her off. Big time. As she recovered, she asked, "Now what?" "Nothing, we cuddle and go to sleep." "But what about you?" "There's nothing about me. That's kind of the point." "But that's not fair." This is a woman who may need to get laid once a quarter, so while I'm thrilled with the increased interest in intercourse, and my orgasms, it seems like she's wanting to pick up the pace of having sex with me so I can forget about this whole male chastity thing. But then again, she had also said mid-week that she was, "...just letting me stew."

During our discussions, I encourage her to "keep reading" the book I got her (Taming the Caged Beast, by Emily Masters) as she's missing out on a lot of the benefits of what I am trying to hand to her. Alternatively, I told her that I had found a good website, not too full of crazy kinky stuff, written by another woman, she said, "What, you don't think I can use the Internet?" I said that I know better, but there's a lot of male fantasy trolls out there, and I want to make sure she isn't turned off by something too outlandish. I am thinking of the Evolving Your Man website. She agreed to continue past chapter one in her book, and that she'd take it out of the nightstand, and read it on her business trips. Only... she doesn't. It's right there in the nightstand drawer, untouched, every morning when I make the bed.

Seeing that she just doesn't seem to be willing to invest much of anything in learning something about what I have found to help us relight the spark, I get discouraged. After being chaste for 9-days, with her holding the key, and me holding out with hope, I found the book still in the drawer. I became really disappointed, pulled out of the back of my super-short cage, and beat-off to my favorite porn. I got off again the next morning, while hot and sweaty in the sauna. When I picked her up at the airport a few hours later, she didn't ask, and I didn't tell. She's clueless. She's leaving again for a week on Friday morning.

I'm re-locked and will likely stay that way until she leaves. She seems completely unbothered to learn that I have been masturbating every day since she's known me. I have told her flat-out that when the cage isn't on, I cannot help myself - I cave, and self-pleasure. She's nonplussed. What's the whole point? She doesn't seem to need or want sexual gratification. It's easier for me to get off alone. It's worked well for three decades. Why fuck it up now?

 

No hard feelings; in fact, I appreciate your candor. I don't much care for my whiny, sniveling post either. I am not bright enough to figure out how to pull a bunch of my old posts together to attempt to justify my occasional bout of self-pity, but I have been at this for a very long time, and I get exhausted and frustrated.

I do adore her, and I have always treated her like a princess, but my wife has never really had a sex drive. That's a problem, and it is probably too late to fix it. Everyone who knows us has observed our idyllic, but one-sided relationship, and many have commented about it. My relatives, her relatives, and our friends. From the very most basic old-fashioned habits, like respect, holding doors, preparing her bed at night, opening the car door, yes Ma'am, no Ma'am, etc., to the fact that I earn a very good living to support her, and her extended family. We live where she wants to live, go where she wants to go, put money into whatever she believes is important, and on, and on, and on...

I have been trying to talk to her about making some changes to our intimate life for well-over a year now. Now that I am dealing with her post-menopausal decrease in sex drive (something which was never strong to start with) and my occasional challenges with ED, I feel like our best years, our best opportunity for a robust sex life, have passed us by. It's of no real consequence to her, but something which causes me to mourn. There's flowers, romance, intimacy in the form of hugging, kissing, back rubs, and holding hands -- just very, very little actual sex. There was an ongoing daisy-chained litany of "good" reasons, such as child-rearing, careers, some bad habits on my part (all of which I have given up, such as smoking and drinking.) I have discussed these things here for the past year, or two.

How I really feel is that if this doesn't work - this desperate, last-ditch effort to gain an intimate sexual relationship with my lawfully wedded wife, then I will have wasted thirty-years waiting, hoping and praying for something that was just never-ever going to happen... and it grieves me.

I am questioning whether or not I even belong here. Many aspects of chastity fascinate me, and turn my crank to no end, but I don't believe that I am a true submissive, or a masochist. The idea of a bedroom-based FLR seem like fun, and would offer some relief from 60-plus hour work weeks invested in high-pressure executive jobs. But I have a deep-seated belief that relationships are symbiotic. If I give, and give, and give, at what point is there an obligation to look after my needs?

For the record, this is not a public forum. I am not easily personally identifiable, nor is my wife. We all have the privilege of Internet anonymity. This forum has been a fantastic place to learn, get ideas, and have these very wonderful discussions. Where else could I do that? Who else could I ever talk to about such things as are discussed here? Work? Church? Our close circle of friends? Mom? Nope. This is my only outlet.

I appreciate the feedback, I really do. Sometimes I am just thinking out-loud. Frankly, much of my ire is probably caused by my own lack of ability to contain my very high sex drive. I have been well-trained to simply take matters into my own hands, and not to bother others with my needs. I have never stepped-out on my wife, though I understand how others could. I have reached the point where I believe I have a few good years left with the ability to truly enjoy a robust sex life with the woman I love and adore, and she just isn't interested... and it is killing me to have to choose between the two, no matter what I try.

Struggling to "Giveitup."

 

Thank you all for your encouragement, both public, and via private message. One of the dommes here told me that chastity wasn't the answer to a sexless marriage, in a post months ago. She may well be right. The trouble is, my better half exhibits such dominant traits: Leading at work, leading her extended family's path out of financial struggles, running a small business, managing our finances, our decorating, and on, that I thought she'd take to managing my orgasms like a fish takes to water. Hell, her eyes lit-up like a Christmas tree when I asked her how many 20mg Sildenafil (generic Viagra) I should take to make her happy when we were on vacation a year ago. I was so excited, but it happened exactly once. Hint of potential, or false alarm?

I want to give her control, but it's not my natural pre-disposition - it's a means to an end. I find the concepts and many of the long-term chastity stories (real or imagined) here at The Mansion quite thrilling. I think if I can get her to leave me locked, but still stay involved, I too might take to it. But, if the only difference between my current state and the chasitity state is that there a lump of steel locked around my genitals, causing me to have chaffing and making me sit to take a leak, then what's the point? It's not titallating, it's just a pain in the ass.

This truly is not easy - and I am indeed my own worst enemy. Just as I drive into self-pity land, she asks me last night, "Hey, do you still have your thing on?" "Yes, I do, but I don't know how much longer I can wear it, I am pretty badly chaffed from the ring after 12-days straight." "Okay, take it off if you need to, just don't do anything until I get back." This morning, as I am dropping her at the airport, she informed me that she had, "...taken her book with her." "I said thank you. That means a lot to me." "Why? What's the big deal?" It means you still care, that you're willing to pay attention to me, and what I want." I swear she looked at me like I was crazy. How is it that the one thing I need from her can still be so obscure?

Enough ranting for a while... My ability to keep my hands off of myself for five days while I heal is around zero, but apparently there's still hope... Again, thank you all for your support and understanding!

 

You are spot on - the latest conversation I relayed suggests more hope than I initially assumed! As I said above, "Just as I drive into self-pity land, she asks me last night, 'Hey, do you still have your thing on?'" This occurred after nearly 2-weeks of nothing, except walking around with my dick in a cage. Thanks again for your support!

 

I'm out. At least for now. There's a lot going on in our lives, and chastity is always taking a back-seat to something else. Frankly, there's a lot going on all the time. Always has been; always will be. I was ready to quit a week ago, as this is such a one-sided situation. Our love life always has been, and I thought male chastity might be a way to rekindle the spark. She's so naturally "large and in-charge" in every other area of her life, I assumed she'd jump at the chance to exert control over my libido. I have tried to get this chastity thing going, starting when I poured my heart out to her while on vacation a year ago. I told her how much I regretted our severely-mismatched sex drives, and that in my opinion we had wasted the best years of our married lives by never-ever making an intimate sexual relationship a priority. The two of us always take a backseat to everything from careers and child-rearing, to yard-work and redecorating. She agreed to work on it. Only... she doesn't.

My keyholder came home mid-day, yesterday. She woke me up this morning, and wanted to know if I "wanted to come out to play?" But again, she didn't have her key. It has been nearly 3-weeks. When I took her to the airport last Friday, after lamenting on this site that I had bought her a book she won't read (because she cannot actually talk about sex) she surprised me and told me that she had taken it with her, as I was kissing her goodbye at the airport. Again, I was hopeful and excited!

But she only read one page. I gave her the book at the end of January, so she could read it in private, at her pace. The trouble is that she's just not interested in having to actively participate. No tease. No denial. No foreplay. No oral. No talking about it. Unless she's been drinking, she just wants a rare round of "shades drawn, man on top, get it over with" sex - and the fact that I am locked-up in-between, is something that only I notice. After healing my chafing, I was already sore this morning from being re-locked. Wearing a steel cage on your dick can be uncomfortable, to say the least, along with all the other inconveniences that come along with it, such as air travel problems, and finding a stall to sit and take a leak.

This is my issue. She's unchanged. I should have married someone whose sex drive and proclivities were more closely matched to my own. I didn't, and I have been paying the price for three decades.

Maybe we'll try again sometime, when there's less going on. Assuming that there's ever going to be less going on. We did not make love. She left her key laying on her nightstand. I used it to take off my cage, and I tucked it (and both keys) away in my closet. I will talk to her about it if she even notices, let alone brings it up. Frankly, I suspect she'll be relieved. One less thing for her to worry about...

This whole adventure seemed to hold so much promise, but my timing is off. My deep and sincere thanks for all of your support, but I am not submissive enough, and patient enough, to pull this off right now. I will check-in here once in a while, but at the moment, I suspect my interest in Chastity Mansion will necessarily begin to wane...

 

Well, we had another confrontational and very dicey conversation. On Saturday morning, I received a "pep talk" about being more diligent about looking for a job, and not letting everything else that needed to be done become a distraction. Of course, I accepted this poorly, until a few words of truth penetrated my typically thick alpha male skull, and I recognized that, yes, she was right, and my mood and attitude were in a downward spiral, and I needed to pull-up.

On Saturday evening, we were in the hot tub, and she sensed (or, likely decided to continue to probe, based on her timing, not mine) and said, "There's something still bothering you?" I said, "No," but she decided to play footsie with my crotch, and the missing cage was obvious. She didn't notice her key was gone, she didn't notice that I unlocked after our tiff on Thursday, and she said if I didn't want to be locked-up anymore, that it was my problem, and that she had "nothing to do with it." My response: "That's exactly the problem - you have nothing to do with it." Needless to say, the temperature in the tub went up a few degrees during the ensuing conversation.

"I cannot take this pressure! Sex, sex, sex! With everything we have going on, I just don't need this on top of it all!"

"What pressure? You're in charge, but you don't do anything different. The whole idea is that you can decide when you want sex, and when you want me to have sex, so I don't have to keep guessing. I'm not asking to be unlocked! If you want sex once a month, or once a quarter, if that, which is how it's always been, then fine! But you have to participate! You have to communicate! You're not supposed to dread going to bed every night, thinking that I want you to unlock me, because we have to have intercourse. Sex is more than just intercourse. Remember the morning I gave you an orgasm, and then we just cuddled? You said, 'What about you?' and I explained that there didn't need to be any reciprocity. This program is designed to relieve the pressure on you, not make it worse. But if you won't talk about sex, and you won't take or make the time to read the tiny, little, fucking book I gave you back in January, then how the fuck would you ever know that?!? You promised that 'we' would work on this a year ago."

"I'm never going to be good enough for you in that department. I don't like to talk about sex, and I don't like to read. I don't have time. Just divorce me if you need sex all the time."

"How the fuck did you get through college without reading?"

No answer. She climbed out of the tub to leave. I said, "Where are you going?"

"I have nothing left to say."

"Then you need to fucking stand there and listen, because I have more to say! If a college degree is worth studying for, and your small business is worth reading all the rules, regulations and other stuff you have to read, and your daily full-time job requires you to read countless reports and emails, and if you watch TV in the bedroom every night - you're actually telling me that all of those things are more important to you than me, my needs, and your marriage of almost 30-years? Really? At least I know now, and won't bother chasing this fantasy, thinking that it will ever get better." And at that, I turned away from her, and fell silent.

"Can I get back in the tub? I'm cold."

And with that, we began the real conversation. Way too long later, she went to bed, and went to the Man Cave to fire-up my laptop, find my favorite porn, and masturbate until I forced myself to have an orgasm. It and everything on the screen was wholly unsatisfying. The past two years (for me at least) were spent trying to shed that habit, which has been a part of my life since puberty.

The next morning, we made love. I gave her an orgasm by spending as long as it took, tasting her sweetness. She wanted me in her, but I was taking too long, so when I recognized that she was becoming uncomfortable, I focused, and came quickly inside of her. We laid there for a bit, and sensing that PIV had become uncomfortable for her, but that she was still horny, I went back down on her and quickly got her off again. "Happy Mother's Day, Baby."

Before I got into the shower, I asked her: "What's it going to be?"

"Put it on. I promise to read the book. You're better to me when you're locked-up. And you don't need pills."

Sigh...