I (28M) Want to Ask My Wife (26F)

I'm guessing you have read many posts on this forum by now. Why not pick out a few that you could share with her? Tell her you would like to give chastity a try to spice up your sex life. Keep it low key, like you just want to try it out for fun.

 

What I usually suggest for people that want to introduce chastity without a kink factor…ask her if she would do you a favor by controlling your impulses so you can concentrate on her needs. Not for her but for you…she is not interested in being a domme so don’t ask her to be one. Ask her for a favor.
Women that love their partner will usually at least give something a try if they know they are doing a favor. If you try to white wash it with how much this will benefit her, she will think its bullshit or at the very least probably say no thanks.

Then when she reluctantly says ok, leave it at that. No bugging her to be dominant, no asking to be milked, pegged, or ruined orgasms etc. Just wear the device until she wants to remove it. If it becomes fun for her, she will gather more confidence in locking you. Don’t push, just ask her for a favor.

good luck

 

Stop watching porn and stop masturbating. Both are bad for you.

Give your wife the attention she craves without you asking for anything.

I'd suggest masturbating together and you not having an orgasm, perhaps see if you being denied arouses her.

At the end of the day being caged increases sexual desire so unless she can handle denying you then you are just going to get more annoying to her. There is no incentive for her.

 

You might consider talking about getting a strap-on for the BOTH of you, that fits both of you and mention you can get a harness with a place for a vibrator so SHE will receive clitoral stimulation, though clitoral stimulation without a vibrator is possible, as this video recently posted on Fetlife.com clearly demonstrates. (Membership is free but there is a small fee to watch videos.)

https://fetlife.com/users/9972665/videos/3292845

Does she truly not enjoy PIV, or is she being kind because of your ED?

You don't need to ask her, as how she responds to manual stimulation should provide some indication.

Are you actually stimulating her clitoris during cunnilingus? Don't assume you are. Does she have a small or tightly hooded clitoris, or have clitoral adhesions; think uncircumcised penis where the foreskin is too tight. This may explain her preference for masturbation.

 

I bought a cheap starter cage then asked my wife if she wanted to give it a try. She was reluctant at first, and with many ups and downs on the long road, she really began to see what it meant to me and how she could benefit. Here a few years later, I'm locked 24/7 since September with no sign of release anytime soon. She actually prefers me to be locked these days.

 

Hi!

My main advice is to push less hard than you think you ought. Slow it down. As in, slow yourself down. Don't dump this on her. Be super patient with the process. If she leads, you can follow, but don't push.

And make sure that your reasons are right. Don't do this for you. Do it for her, or even for the both of you, but not for you yourself.

And don't assume that anyone else has it all figured out. You do you.

 

Yup! True 42 has it...well TRUE!

I ran a few Adventure Races in my past...my method...Start off at a snails pace...then slow it down...same holds true here!

 

I would suggest you talk to her and say that you think you need to control your masturbation and would she have any objections to you buying a cage as a tool to help you. I wouldn't ask her to be your keyholder, at least not yet, because as you try cages, you will need to take them off, put them on, etc and it would be a bother if you had to keep asking her for the key. If you eventually find a cage that you like, that feels comfortable and more importantly has an open design where you can clean yourself with the cage still on, then maybe you can ask her if she would mind holding the key, because by that point, you should only need to take it off when she wants to play with you.

Don't think that you need to make this a Domme/sub relationship, or that you need to do any of the other kinky stuff that you will read about here, there are no rules, just do what feels right for the both of you. It's totally ok for vanilla people to use chastity devices without jumping into BDSM.

But as others have said, being locked up does make you horny, so if that means that you start bugging her endlessly for sex, you're going to run into a roadblock pretty quick. You'll need to learn to enjoy that horniness as its own reward. It can be pretty addictive once you get used to it.

 

hello @ShinyBoy and welcome to here and i hope when you has your cage its nice and comfy for you. ooh and am you really shiny.

 

I assume the dildo will be your new way of "masturbating" when you're alone, so yeah, no need for her to ever see that. As for the cage, I would suggest that you try to wear it as much as possible, including at night, though that might mean you getting dressed for bed when she's not paying attention. Then, when she initiates sex play, just go off to the bathroom on your own and take the cage off. You will need to promise yourself that you will never take the cage off in order to masturbate on your own.

Have you already picked out a cage? Have you self measured yet? Resin cages usually come with 4 sizes of base rings, so they're a good idea if you just want to do it by trial and error. If the ring is too big, your balls may slip out, if it's too small you will cut off circulation which is not good. For longer term wear, you'll probably want a metal cage with an open design as that will let you clean yourself in the shower without taking the cage off. You will need to remove the resin cages to clean.

Example of resin cages:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/353581105451

Example of metal cages:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/224150418491

 

I wore mine for a couple of nights before having "the talk" with my wife and she never noticed it, I just changed into my nightwear when she wasn't looking. It sounds like you ordered an HT style resin cage, which are great starter cages. Once you figure out your ring size, you don't need to get an expensive metal cage right off the bat, I found one for $25 that's working out great for me. I got the smaller of the 2 in this listing, I can wear it 24/7 with only taking it off for play time.

 

Glad it's working out for you, and yes I do know what you mean, lol. You should also download a copy of the Happy Marriage tracking spreadsheet, it's a good way to keep track of things as they're easy to forget.

https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/tracker.htm

 

Try a KitchenSafe which is a lockbox with a timer. You can set it to get keys right before she gets home. In a real emergency, you can break box to get the key. Good luck!

 

Good boy, I like to see us guys having some self control. When I'm unlocked I am totally able to refrain from pulling one off, so I've been impressing myself too.

 

I find it a huge rush that it’s out of my control once the key is inaccessible.

 

very accurate view in my eyes!

 

Maybe share a cm journal with her so she can peruse it

 

Just talk to her like its any other topic. Something like "I found something on the Internet that we could try. How do you fancy locking my cock away and see how horny it makes me - think of the power you would have?"

 

Since you’re young, I think you need to talk to your doctor. Start by asking about your libido. Then explain your situation. I’m not an expert but I suspect you’re not normal. So get checked. If you’re healthy then find ways to make things work that’s fun for both of you. If not now is the time to catch it.

Once you rule out a medical condition. Reread the advise above. Some is ok. And some is real good. Pick and choose what is right for the two of you.

Oh and are you on any meds? Many really screw with sexual function and desire.