I’ve failed and I am so disappointed in myself

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by redbottomboy, Oct 18, 2020.

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  1. redbottomboy
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    redbottomboy Red

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    #1 redbottomboy, Oct 18, 2020
    Last night I had to remove my chastity cage due to some terrible pain on the back of my scrotum (Note: I am self locked as my wife is low libido and not interested in participating in my chastity kink). This ring burn had caused a small bruise on my scrotum so I figured I needed a few hours break and would put my cage back on in the morning.

    This morning while laying around in bed I started stroking myself over the panties I was wearing. I edged myself and stopped short of orgasm to cool down — enjoying the letdown from the tease. A few minutes later I got up to shower and get ready only to find I had given myself a ruined orgasm. I honestly didn’t even feel it but my panties were soaked. It had been 31 days since my last orgasm.

    I was so frustrated and disappointed in myself as I was trying to stay locked for the month — this being my first Locktober. I ended up masturbating myself to a pathetic and unenjoyable orgasm in frustration. Now I feel miserable and so angry and disgusted in myself I don’t know what to do.
     
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  2. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    #2 Isopropylforyou, Oct 18, 2020
    Don't be upset. It's a process.

    You did not fail.

    This is all part of learning about you, your body and your limits.

    Everything for you will be ramped up to 11 because you have denied yourself since the beginning of October.

    You are doing great.
    Do not be so hard on yourself.

    Iso.
     
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  3. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    #3 LesterBallard, Oct 18, 2020
    don't beat yourself up. Take your disappointment and use it to increase your determination next time round.

    Good luck
     
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  4. Guest 0837
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    Guest 0837 Long term member

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    #4 Guest 0837, Oct 18, 2020
    Only if your mistress has locked you up, you should feel sad but since you are doing it your self you are doing great.
     
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  5. Carls.not.dead.yet
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    Carls.not.dead.yet Member

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    #5 Carls.not.dead.yet, Oct 18, 2020
    I agree. Don't be too down on yourself (I've been there)
    What you need to do now is concentrate on the root cause.
    1. What caused the pain. Are you lubing up the back of the cage.?
    2. Don't lay around in bed. Get some chores done.
     
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  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    #6 MissyB, Oct 18, 2020
    It is so tempting to play with it, so as someone who has self locked, I understand. it's easy to slip up. Just keep trying. I mean, you did stop at a point you thought was far enough. Just learn from it.
     
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  7. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    #7 King Hippo, Oct 18, 2020
    All good! We probably all remember the first time we had sex, probably lasted 6 seconds or whatever, but you get better overtime! Hang in there!!!
     
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  8. redbottomboy
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    redbottomboy Red

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    #8 redbottomboy, Oct 19, 2020
    Thank you, all! Your encouragement means so much to me. I’m disappointed but your comments have helped me put it in perspective. I did go 31 days without masturbating and I did go 16 days locked. Both significantly exceed my prior accomplishments for chastity and being locked.

    I’m also learning about my body and the effect masturbation and orgasm has on both. One interesting observation is that I was exhausted today. I mean completely out of gas. I can only think the orgasm plus my emotional distress from it has physically drained me as well.

    Has anyone else encountered something similar or and I reaching too far?
     
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  9. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    #9 filltee, Oct 19, 2020
    We all live and learn all the time. hopefully.
    Some of the hardest lessons we learn are about ourselves and our limitations.

    So dont beat yourself up for learning
     
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  10. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    #10 jemima, Oct 19, 2020
    @redbottomboy well you are very very sorry and you dint really mean to do it so dont be sad and after a bit you will be ok.
     
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  11. madams-sissysub
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    madams-sissysub Member

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    #11 madams-sissysub, Oct 20, 2020
    Mistakes happen, just keep positive and move forward, all the best!!
     
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  12. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    #12 boisub, Oct 24, 2020
    The first time I discovered that I could orgasm while caged, I was seriously upset. Since then, I’ve had to learn that there are some behaviors that I really have to avoid, whether caged or not, to keep from falling over that edge.

    It’s all part of the learning process. Everyone else above said it far better than I can. You’re doing great, don’t beat yourself up about it.
     
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