Husband texting other women

Going to be honest here. I asked to go into 24 / 7 after I started to think about cheating to stop that process completely. She doesn't know that, and I hope she doesn't read this. It worked for me and I only think about her now. Been 16 months . So again lock him up and take control . Good luck

 

Long term chastity, especially if it is forced by you, isn't going to solve the problem. (Unless you can find a way to lock up his fingers and thumbs...) What is needed is a long, calm, serious discussion about the future of your relationship. Why is he doing this? Does he feel unhappy in the relationship? By that I am not trying to lay ANY blame on you. He is the one going outside for contact and he is the one responsible for his actions.

Don't forbid him to have contact with other women, some of it may be innocent and simply keeping contact with old friends. Let him know that keeping up with old friends, even girlfriends, is OK as long as it is just keeping up with them and NOT pursuing them again. You should be given unfettered access to his devices and monitor what he is saying to them until he earns your trust again. If he balks at granting this to you, there is a problem that may be too big to overcome. At the same time, don't try to 'read between the lines'. Take what he says to them, and you, at face value until you have good reason to become suspect.

It will take cooperation and effort on both parts to work through this.

 

I'm havehav say, at least in my home, texting another woman without my wife knowing would be cheating.

 

Same here!

 

If he’s doing that then there may be needs that you are not full filling for him. What do these other women have that you dont? You need to talk to him, determine WHY he needs to do this and start taking care of your man or some other woman will.

 

Just my two cents, but it is his commitment not yours that is in question. Given his history he should be sensitive to your concerns about his fidelity. I'm with the crowd that see's this as a marriage issue, not something you can resolve with chastity. No problem with doing both together, but he needs to respect his commitment to your marriage before you focus on your commitment to his kink.

 

He got caught being a disrespectful, gas lighting, anxiety triggering and confidence draining husband, sub and general basic man.
He wanna be careful or playing the game is all he'll be able to do being single.

 

What a fucking ridiculous thing to say. It's not her fault he is a selfish mofo who invests his esteem into being wanted by many over dedicating himself to one. He better learn how to submit and treat her like the sensitive and dedicated wife she is, before a real man steps up and starts taking care of her. She's not lacking anything other women have.

If I were your Dom you'd be fucking punished hard for publicising such a disrespectful mentality on a site like this.

 

100%

 

@Misty36 my heart goes out to you. You aren't alone as a woman, wife or Dom in this predicament... it is NOT your fault.

 

A saying comes to mind reading this thread.

"When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

Trying to solve relationship issues by delving deeper into kink instead of solving the relationship issues is a recipe for disaster. Chastity and kink dynamics as a whole are based on trust, communication and mutual understanding, something you both luck.

You need some serious heart to heart, Frank and brutal discussion and or counciling to fix this, the question is, is it worth that?

 

I totally agree. If a man has found the "need" that he wants to live in a FLR and the woman is unable or unwilling to do so (which is totally ok) than I don't think think that this can be forced.

Saying that the man has to learn to submit totally is not helpful as I think that even if you submit you want to get something out of it (and it could be the good feeling doing so).
It's not about if she is lacking something, but if they both fit together.
I don't think that a submissive man is the hidden secret so that every FLR-relationship becomes successfull & happy.
I think this is a myth.

Piet

 

LOL. Dont get me wrong, I dont care to start something here. My point is, in a LTR BOTH parties have needs. If she is not fulfilling his needs and vice versa, this relation will not last or if it does, not a happy one. IMHO.

Now...back to you. NO ONE DOMINATES ME so back tha fuck off. You and no one else will EVER mistreat, hit, whip, even ATTEMPT to dominate me. I am not your sissy-boy here and it will be YOU crying and submitting, JEEZ these women that think they’re all that. Just back the fuck up! Whole reason Im even caged is Im a monster fuck beast. Orgasm control and filling pussy with cum buckets my whole reason. Understand?
Sincerely,
I got his back

 

Get rid of his ass before he hurts you anymore. If he's flirting with other women and you see it..that's an emotional affair and it will only get worse.

 

There is so much going on.

Yes cheating is very bad, and damages relationships a lot. At the same time, millions of people do it, probably including many people who in turn give life lessons about it. (Like many politicians...)

There isn’t one right answer.
Chastity is a very fun kink, and although it could be used for some peace of mind, it is certainly not a solution.

You can decide to open your relationship, which is what we did with my wife, and instantly stopped any lying and deception.

If monogamy is the only way, then you need to put some clear limits as to what is and what isn’t a breach of monogamy; and try to find ways to rebuild trust.

Seeing that you were going through his phone, you clearly don’t trust him. And with what you found, he clearly isn’t honest.

That’s a very tough position to be in, and someone said to go see a councilor. I think it’s a great idea.
If you love each other a lot, and have a great relationship, don’t throw it away just yet. It’s worth something.

 

Kind of funny how you all are posting to this and the OP isn’t.

 

I agree, I think you need to look a little further than chastity to fix this. Hope it all works out for you.

 

I think chastity can, in fact, help fix these things. The male need for non-monagamy is biologically driven. It is a strong urge that most are able to subdue with porn and masturbating. I theorize that long-term male can, in fact, rewire the brain by changing neurochemistry... (similar to how just antidepressants medications work to treat depression.)
Anyone who has experienced sub-drop knows first-hand the effects of changing the delicate balance of hormones.
I suspect long-term lock up for these guy would change their marriage dynamic for the better. Would it be permanent? I don't know but perhaps it could be a stepping stone into fixing the relationship.

 

The cage won't stop him from texting and wanting others. It will help a small part of the problem but not the underlying reason to why he does it or needs it.
If you get counciling and deal with the problem then maybe if you go full femdom on him it might help but only if YOU want that lifestyle.
But in my experience, once the trust is gone it is hard to repair it. You forgave him once. Second time it is a conscious choice.

 

I absolutely agree with this.

 

You sound like a great catch.

 

Yup, this is right on.

If he keeps doing these things, he's not trustworthy. Think really hard about whether it's worh saving the relationship again.

 

Shame they don't have cages for rude and disrespectful personalities.. Temper tantrums at its finest. And jeeze for these men who think that everything is about their cocks. Lets focus on solutions as adults instead.

 

A classic excuse of a habitual cheater: 'my needs aren't met so I'm looking for a bit on the side'. Insert a rolling-eye emoji here...

But the habitual cheater is right - both sides have needs. In this case, one side threw his toys out of the pram and went looking for an easy solution to his problem while the other side was left not only with her needs unmet but also with new pain to deal with. Either way, nobody's happy.

A cage won't stop him from texting others - but a marriage counsellor might if the husband wants to stay married. If not, well then a good divorce lawyer is in order.