Husband texting other women

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Misty36, Jul 20, 2019.

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  1. Misty36
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    Misty36 New member

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    I just found out that my husband was texting other women! We have played around with the chastity lifestyle, we will do great for a couple of weeks, but then go back to “normal” life. This texting has got me fired up and now I’m ready to go all in with chastity! I need some pointers on what I should do!
     
  2. Adam444
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    Adam444 Long term member

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    How about forgetting about chastity and just kicking his ass to the curb. Cheating is cheating.
     
  3. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    If you aren't ready to end the relationship, I hope you get him in the cage before you tell him you know about the texting.
     
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  4. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    I was going to say something similar.

    Chastity won’t fix cheating and trust issues.
     
  5. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    Everyone is fired up to dump the hubby, but we don't even know what "texting other women" means. What is the context? Any pics? Is it clearly flirting?

    And even if he has cheated, we don't know the circumstances of the relationship. I mean... Maybe dump him? Or maybe the relationship is worth working on?

    :shrug:
     
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  6. spider203
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    spider203 Long term member

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    I can understand why some people want @Misty36 to dump her husband but I don’t think that is the right thing to do just yet, maybe in time if he do not change well then of course that is what she should do.
    I think the first thing to do is first go and convince your husband to get a Prince Albert piercing and don’t say a word about you know about him texting another woman, wait until he is in a good chastity cage and tell him ,
    if breaks this cage or your trust he is gone and I mean gone knowing that you know what he has been up to.
     
  7. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Definitely needs a piercing and good cage. Should probably do 3-6 months of denial to get used to it.
     
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  8. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    True
    But it doesn’t matter

    It’s. Trust issue that they need to discuss and address.
     
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  9. Mark Owen
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    Mark Owen Active member

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    Just guessing, but what if he got "caught" chatting with other ladies because he wanted to up the game, and not really because he is interested in cheating??
     
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  10. kcuck5280
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    kcuck5280 Active member

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    Take him to the piercing shop for a PA. After the piercing heals, lock him up for a good long while.
     
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  11. Charles3451
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    Charles3451 Long term member

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    Put him in a full belt
     
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  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My two cents...I would skip the chastity play, sit down and talk about your future, and what you each expect out of your relationship. I don’t know your particulars so I couldn’t fathom what either of you feel you need.

    I would think if you were relying on a cage to keep someone from hurting you, eventually things will break down. Resentment on both sides. Letting someone lock up your privates is a huge leap of faith and an act of trust. I can’t imagine it ending well if it is a threat or a punishment.

    Maybe it’s the spark you need to take chastity and FLR to a new level, maybe it was a cry for attention, maybe he’s just a selfish ass, but locking his dick up won’t fix any of those without a serious conversation about what you expect in the future, and why it happened in the first place. If he’s into this, I certainly wouldn’t reward bad behavior with giving him a punishment he wants. I would ditch the kink until you two are in a better place.
     
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  13. Yelehiah
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    Yelehiah Active member

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    I think you have to ask if he has cheated on you. If he says yes, he will probably cheat again. If only has texted and anything else... what's the problem? A person can meet a lot of people during his/her life, ones face to face and others by online social networks. Which is the diference?

    My first step would be to talk with him and discuss what both of you expect of your relationship. You can learn much of each other.

    Good luck.
     
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  14. slavefox
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    slavefox Active member

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    I think it depends on the circumstances. What was he texting, what were his intentions etc? Then decide Howe big the problem is. If it's not really massive (e.g. counseling, divorce) then maybe chastity is a good solution.

    The posts about the PA are a bit ambitious. It takes months from getting one to wearing a device with it.
     
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  15. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Regardless of the circumstances, if his behavior bothers you, a serious discussion needs to be had, and soon. Trust is at risk and chastity will not fix It.
     
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  16. John
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    John Member

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    Depending on what is those text. I would do the following put him in chastity to the point he gets really desperate. Say I want to take chastity to another level. Then introduce him to Qustodio make him install it if here every wants to get get out again and cum. Now you can monitor his activities and his text. Take fully control maybe later confront him. But now he can't do anything you can see anymore. Maybe he just does it to get a kick you know a little excitement doesn't mean his has really cheated. Maybe take the control to a new level maybe even introduce him to panties ;) That would excite him and keep you in mind at all times maybe take his boxers only leave some panties for him to wear. He would never cheat wearing panties :D Good luck take some control that's what he craves anyway!
     
  17. henry58
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    henry58 Long term member

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    I'd say you're too late pal.
     
  18. piet00
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    piet00 Active member

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    Hello Misty36,

    Sorry to hear that you've to think about that, this should not happen in my opinion (texting others).
    BUT: I must admit, that I was in the same role and even worse ....I was cheating for ~7years, also texting daily etc.
    Something which I am NOT proud of but it was always with the same woman, so not jumping between woman.
    The reason why I did this was, because I had unfulfilled needs and it would have never changed, if I didn't change - which I did.
    From your Email, I am unable to see if you've just choose to practice a chastity lifestyle or if you are in a FLR and chastity is just part of it.
    What I would do, if I were you and if I really want that this man belongs and serves me:
    I would forbid him to text other woman, as I know that it always can lead to flirting which will take attention from you.
    In order to quit my affair and forced myself to be happy with my girl, I have suggested to action to her:
    1) I have setup a GPS Tracking App, so that she knows where I am, which really creates lots of bondage (She and also I love it)

    2) if I am home, I swap my mobile against a dumb phone, there is no need to text others, as everything can also be clared in a a
    phonecall. I can use my mobile if I just ask/inform her why I need it. This works great and I am much more present when we are together.
    Of course I also told her my number to unlock my phone, so she could read if she wants to, which she doesn't.

    If you want to keep him, show him that this behaviour (texting others) is bothering you.
    He must quit then, if he is really interested in you.

    Piet


     
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  19. Misty36
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    Misty36 New member

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    Thanks everyone for your advice! About 5 years ago, my husband did have an affair. After we worked through that, he told me about his desire to try Chastity. He said it was something he’s always been interested in and with what we went through, maybe we should try it out. I decided to give it a shot. Like i said in my original post, I would do good for a couple of weeks and then go back to “vanilla”. This has gone on for the last 5 years. I know this is something that he’s very interested in and would do well with it if I would commit. Fast forward to the other night....I did check his phone and saw that he was texting 2 different women. One is an ex-girlfriend, with this texting it was very flirtatious, there was a picture sent by her, and some miss you’s The other woman was a girl he had a fling with right before we got together. She has always been in love with him and he knows this! He tells me they mean nothing, but of course there are trust issues from the previous affair.
     
  20. Cockless
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    Cockless Useless no-cock. Permanently locked and denied.

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    Smartest answer in the house
     
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  21. piet00
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    piet00 Active member

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    So you gave it a try because he liked it and you had not that much against it?
    But to me it seems that you're not convinced or didn't see how it will change the attitude of him towards you. Correct?

    Maybe you two should communicate more why it is not working on a consistent basis?
    I think it would also be fair to your husband as admiting that someone likes it beeing locked up can also be understand as an act of trust and he will be unsatisfied if he didn't get his desire and might look for an answer somewhere else, which could mean texting others.
    The best solution might be to move your relationship into a FLR where you make the rules and he get's the benefits serving you. Win win for two.

    The other option could be to admit that flirting or maybe even dating others is ok and this doesn't mean that your relationship has to end.
    When I texted or had my affair it was because I was looking into the feeling of having a crush on someone and falling in love, but those are all temporary feelings (very nice though) but it doesn't mean that I didn't love my girlfriend.
    The thing which is bothering you is very likely not the fact that he is texting other woman* but the meaning which you attach to it and the feelings you get doing so. But this is only up to you and not to your husband. I think the best option is to talk about it (what you two attach to the actions) and then find a consense. If you don't things will grow bigger and bigger.
    Maybe it's not about him texting someone else but about the fear that you will loose him or his attraction or maybe that you feel you're suddenly in a competition against someone else.

    • = (this is not a crime and honestly: there are so much nice and interesting people out there, that it is very unlikely that you are really the only chosen one).

    Do you have regular sex or is this something which is not important? Maybe he is unsatisfied and looks for a way to escape. Something a FLR might also work.

    Piet
     
  22. Adam444
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    Adam444 Long term member

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    Your husband had an affair 5 years ago, you two put the pieces back together, and now he's back to his old games. Chastity isn't the answer and from what you've said it's much more of his kink than yours. So you would be rewarding his bad behavior by giving him what he wants. Bullshit.

    If you want to stay, get professional marriage counseling. If not, get a divorce lawyer.
     
  23. John
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    John Member

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    Just thinking he might be struggling with this "need" which don't make it okay since he suggested chastity. Just think he should be kept in chastity. Might make him focus more on you.
     
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  24. Maid Denise
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    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

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    If it was me doing the texting. I would never be let out again . If you want the marriage to continue , I would try chastity first and keep him locked 24 / 7 for a couple of months and after he is locked you should let him know about the texting . To me it sounds like he wants you to take control of his needs . Make sure he can not find the keys and then take the texting off of his phone . You will be able to tell if this idea is going to work over a couple of weeks . Maybe a good padding is in order also.
     
  25. John
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    John Member

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    Agree :)
     
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