How/when to bring up chastity in a new relationship

Don't wait, the longer you wait the more likely you are to become frantic and over zealous about the introduction. My advice, gleaned from reading books by Georgia Ivey Green and this marvelous forum, is to start off by introducing tease and denial as a form of fun. As she gets used to the idea that you like her controlling you and that you do not need to cum to have fun you can slowly develop how far this chastity thing goes.

So many guys screw up getting their partner involved. Generally this is because it is your fantasy, not theirs. They need to be shown what is in it for them, that chastity isn't weird and that they truly do have control. Telling them that you want them to be in charge and then constantly telling them what to do and how to do it is a sure way of getting them to not be interested.

I recommend that you read a book. Our very own @Mistress Jules has written one specifically designed to help with this exact scenario. And remember that communication is absolutely critical. The most important thing is to have fun.

 

I think that they like the idea of us not.cumming without them, that we want to only have orgasms with them. when my girl.saw.a.pic.of.a.guy with a cage on, she said that's what you need. I show her pictures of things and say what do you think about that? If she has a negative reaction I go in a different direction.

 

I just let my wife know how horny and submissive I get if I don't cum after about three days, and that I like the feeling. I am not allowed cum for a week or more, and we have a goal for her to have at least one orgasm a day. She loves it, and it has also improved our relationship outside the bedroom.

 

I think sooner the better why waste time with someone that don't fit

 

I agree with Jasmic on this. The sooner the better. But, of course, you have to be able to first establish open communications about the most private things like sex.

 

In my opinion it's a little different than bringing it up to a wife.

You don't give out any feelings of lying to her for years( who are you). Let's face it, you aren't dumping your wife if she isn't going to play.

A budding relationship, (what I had) only requires one thing...commitment. If you really are sure you are into chastity, you can wait till it's something fun to bring up when you're both feeling frisky. If it's something you know you want and is a big deal, I would say within the first 3 months. It gives her time to like you enough to give it a try, but not so much time like she would feel lied to or feel like you wasted her time. You get bonus points for being honest, and shows her you are willing to communicate.

I suggest(what I did) is that after a few months, sit her down for a talk. Tell her you are really starting to like her, that you don't want to start this relationship based on them not knowing the real you. Then tell her that sexually you are submissive. You enjoy and need to let go of sexual decisions. It's who you are. Tell her you would like to lock your privates and give her the keys to it.

That will throw her a curve, make sure she understands that the only thing that is changing is your ability to be excited or get off without her. She probably won't want that kind of responsibility, but tell her you trust her and that it's important to you. Give her time to do her research and look up what it is that you're into...most have never heard of this, I suggest you mention FLR, plenty to look at on the Internet.

I had already purchased and tested the device suitable for long term wear before telling her.

Once she agrees give her time to do this her way. Let go of control and trust she will do what is right for both of you. Now hand over the keys and don't be a backseat driver.

Keep talking...keep sending texts and talking about what turns you on, how it's making you feel(no complaining), what you would do to please HER. She's not a pro, she's your girlfriend, let her do this how she wants.

Finally, when you talk to her about this at first, if this is something that you actually need, make sure she knows that. This isn't a passing fancy and is not going away. She deserves to know that this could be a deal breaker for you.

Good luck

 

There's some pretty good advice here. Rather than jump straight in, you might want to be consider a new relationship could fail for many reasons and then your secret goes off into the world with your ex-GF. At the same time you have chastity on your "shopping list" so you don't want to take too long. I like the advice of starting with it as a fun game, just that night etc, and see if she likes it. In a former life, but not too long ago, I did some work with a research company. They did a random survey of women for an events company and it included questions about chastity. The results were surprising. Whilst it was still the minority that expressed an interest in learning more, it was still a larger minority than I would have guessed at.