How to tell wife / girlfriend

Wear nothing but the cage. Note her reaction.

"I love you. I want to serve you. I will do anything for you. Let's get some schnitzel."

 

I said in another thread, sit down and have a drink and talk, bring up your sex like and get on to talking about fantasy’s, and take it from there.

 

How about reading the corresponding report together!

And you then note that you would like to try this.

Alternatively, you can also go looking for erlebnisberichte or simply spoil them, without a cage, and not get an orgasm yourself.

You then say that it is cool that you have an orgasm you save his for you.

In Tantra, for example, orgasm denial is used as one of the building blocks to store energies in the body. This way can also be found in the conversation.

You realize that there are plenty of options, but you still have to tell her yourself.

 

I think an honest conversation with her, about your sex life and issues with the relationship are needed. Find out how she feels and if she sees the same issues as you. If she is unhappy with you masturbating or ignoring her, including sexually, then you may be able to suggest chastity play as a way to approach it. Just don't be surprised if she doesn't seem to take to it initially. You may have to convince her that such an approach is useful. But you also have to be willing to go along, Good luck finding a suitable answer.

 

Terrible idea. Probably submitted as a "joke". Don't fall for it.

If she's vanilla, you should start slow. Give her something to read. A gentle introduction to the idea of chastity. Something like this:

https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/how.htm

It's important to attempt to find something written by a woman, for a female audience. The above may or may not be written by a woman. It's hard to know for sure. I do know that my wife read it and it did click for her a bit (though it was not her first introduction to chastity). There are other similar things to read if the link above doesn't feel appropriate for her.

The thing is that, if she is vanilla, you have to realize how weird and scarry what you are proposing will be for her. You are essentially telling her that you have a sexual addiction (masturbation). Already this is a problem for a vanilla wife. She already doesn't like sex much. Or she's intimidad by it. And you want to make it weirder by adding this depraved sex toy. But it's okay, because she can use your addiction as a tool to control you. It's all like trying to trick a vegetarian into cooking more burgers. At least that's how she is likely to see it.

Imagine coming out as a meth addict and asking her to keep your stash and to ration it as a means to enslave you. "We both get something we want. I get to be high sometimes, and you can enslave me!" That's a little bit how it's going to sound to a truly vanilla woman. Kinda creepy.

So what then? I tend to think that presenting it as something that she would like is not a good idea. I think you should give her something to read about it, and ask her to hold your keys as a favor to you. Then you let her discover any benefits there may be for herself. Because if you tell her that she is going to like it, she'll just think that you don't know her very well. It will turn her off.

Even this may be too much, though. Depending on her, the cage may be too weird a place to start. Perhaps better to talk about old fashioned orgasm control (sans cage) as a first step. She gets to decide when you are allowed to cum. That's it. Of course, then you need to find some self control, and she needs to find a bit of assertiveness... Both things that will be necessary for transition to a cage anyway.

 

I think you're completely right.

@OP: Start very slow and don't overwhelm her with all the things you want her to do for you (even if it's "for her best").

 

Do this. Not the other thing. The other thing is akin to jumping out of the closet in a gimp costume. You may both scare and scar her away from it forever.

Luckily both of you are a clean slate, although you've introduced yourself. Take her on a date. Buy her some flowers. Tell her you love her.

When she seems confused by your re-investment in the relationship, ask her if you can talk about something you are a bit embarrassed about, but would like to try. Explain chastity to her, and maybe show her a picture of a device. Not yours, not with someone's junk in it. Just the device, or a few of them for that matter.

She may say an immediate no, and I know this because my Goddess at first was open, but very unsure. No may not mean no yet, if she says it. Try not to push too hard. Try to keep the convo light and fun, and on topic. Meaning, no bringing up any past stuff, nothing like that.

My Goddess hated that I was hiding out and looking at porn and masturbating, but that didn't work to get her into it. That isn't a motivation for females like you think it is.

Where the motivation comes from is in the true love, trust, and dedication it shows from you.

Very best of luck. You seem very genuine. Go be that person for her, and in time, she will walk you around the block on a leash if you ask nicely. *wink wink*