how to overcome the <why am i doing this>

sometimes but you will figure out being locked feels better than unlocked -- I been locked since Jan 1 only once did the wave ( what am I going but as fast hit it leaves as fast . I like the snug feeling - I feeling calmer - it like a penis pacifier silly but that show I see it.

 

That's been one of my biggest issues in the past, not an actual desire to orgasm.

If you're self locking and not employing any sort of time delayed locking mechanism or the like, the biggest way to overcome it is to just not leave your keys anywhere where you can easily access them. e.g. If you leave them at work and unlock yourself only when you need to clean and then immediately lock yourself back up, you are much less likely to give in to momentary bouts of self doubt.

If your doubts are more than just occasional and momentary, then maybe you need to actually answer the question of why are you doing it. If you think you're going to enjoy it and you've found through past experience that you don't, then maybe it just isn't for you.