How to introduce chastity to a "vanilla" relationship

Do you ever go adult toy shopping with her? If yes then point one out, it is easy to do if you shop online as not all retail stores have them.
OR
Maybe next time she brings up previous lovers infidelity , ask her if you locking your self up would make her feel better.


Oh, and Welcome aboard!

 

hi pop over and have a look at netdoctor .com there is a piece in there from someone called latekate and she answers alot of your questions but from a womans point of view when her hubby brought up the idea to her. Just type in male chastity into your web search and look for the thread anyone any experience of male chastity? hope this helps i have been chatting with latekate there and i think she is a member of the mansion as well:confused0068h and welcome to the mansion

 

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/discussion/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=31348

 

"Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders" is a wonderful book for those learning about male chastity. It explains in simple terms why men enjoy chastity and how a woman can use chastity to enhance their lives together. You can buy it at Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/Male-Chastity-Keyholders-Lucy-Fairbourne/dp/1905605145

 

well done madamsboy i shall have to get the hang of doing that link thing you did it seems so much easier than all my explanations LOL:spider:

 

No problem , glad to help out.

 

Male Chasity: A Key Holder's Guide is a great resource. My Wife found that very helpful.

You know, I am married to wonderful woman, who enjoys her dominant nature and she knows I love her for being her. I was able to be honest with her. Once she saw the benefits of me in chasity, she demands it now. The other side, we realize that it adds a lot of fun to our relationship. Honest and making it fun was what made it easier for her.

Also, pay attention to what she may feel threatened by, and be sure to discuss it and make it doable for her so she is not threatened. The great thing about a Female Led Relationship is that she is in charge and ultimately it will only go where she wants it to go. Just because I may have some crazy fantasy, it may not be hers and that is all right because true submission is about my serving her pleasure and needs and knowing I find pleasure in hers. That element made it very easy for my Wife.

 

You've had some great advice so far, but I would like to chip in a little something for you... do not in any way relate your forthcoming journey into chastity with the fact she has been cheated on before.

There are probably a lot of hurtful memories, and the last thing you need is to have her reminded of that every time she looks at your cock!

On the bright side, you seem to want a more "sensual Dominance" and that's a great way to start in a D/s relationship rather than hard-core whip me till I bleed types! (Of course if she likes the taste.... there's no telling where the introduction will lead her!)

Why not try some light bondage, tying each other up and teasing each other. Then lead on to perhaps her tying around your genitals and expressing how interesting it would be to not be able to touch or play with yourself.

You know her better than anyone else, take it slow, open the lines of communication and KEEP US INFORMED!

We do like to help. :loveCM:

 

I forget about that. considering I have to deal with such issues from time to time I should know better.

 

We've reviewed the book Male Chastity - A Guide for Keyholders on this site. The link is below. I think you'll want to get this book as it explains from a female perspective how this lifestyle works. I still have the book, but just don't have the guts to share it with her... grrrr Reviewers don't agree with everything in the book, but as I said it's a great way to just hand her something and let things develop from there. It provides opportunities for you two to talk and that's important isn't it?

http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/showthread.php?1118-Male-Chastity-A-Guide-for-Keyholders

 

This can be quite overwhelming for her now. (Well it was for me anyway!)

She may feel pressured into suddenly needing to be a Domme of some description, an expert in torture or tease and denial!

Explain to her that all she needs to do is be herself and remember that if she wants anything done, she only needs to ask you for it! And if she does, make sure you jump to it!!!

I would say the best way to handle things is to put it on when you are together and ask her to click the lock shut and take the key away.

From then on if either of you has a worry or a problem then you just need to talk it out. Eg, if she's feeling "odd" ask her why and allay her fears, and if you're feeling neglected, ask for a hug and explain how you're feeling.

This is the hardest (pun intended) bit of the journey! Good luck.

 

I Sooooooo want to get that book and leave it on the coffee table next to my wife's chair, I've tried to throw out hints to her but she just won't bite on them

 

Do remind yourself that your turning over the keys to your cock and that this is a serious shift of who has the power in your relationship. Expect that there maybe things that happen that you might not always be keen on. What she and you make of this is whatever she thinks is best so hang on! ;-) I think it will be like the only Chinese Curse. "May you live in interesting times"

I do think what you say or do when you start will have a large bearing on how it ends up going. If your really not into cuckolding for example be sure thats clear. I think that the guys who make a point that they don't desire to be feminized need to be specific that this is not the reason for chastity as well. Anyway, good luck. I'm really curious how this all works out for the two of you.