How to introduce a Female to male Chastity??

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by bornforchastity, Sep 15, 2014.

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  1. bornforchastity
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    Hi,

    i have a girlfriend and i am thinking for a while now to tell her about my love(fetish) for chastity. But i don't want to scare her away.

    She likes to read, so i was wondering if people here might know some good introductory articles about male chastity which explain why loving chastity is not wrong or weird, what is chastity, why men love it and etc.

    Please help me out, if anyone have some good articles which a female can read and understand about the male chastity.

    Thanks,
    nikunj
     
  2. Dumb1
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    Dumb1 senior member

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  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @nikunj2512 you says men loves it but they don't half moans about it on here. Theym naughty men.
     
  4. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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  5. bornforchastity
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  6. bornforchastity
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    Yes, you are right.
     
  7. bornforchastity
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  8. Maritime-elf
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    Maritime-elf New member

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    I was lucky in that my wife new of it. But, did need a little coaxing. I gave her the book called Male Chastity a Key Holders Guide by Georgia Ivey Green. She also has a blog to help woman become key holders. It might be a little extreme at first but I thought I would share.
    https://www.blogger.com/profile/05523486180754238767
     
  9. MistressBenay
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    If you want to give her a book written from the Female Perspective, then take a look at my Book on Amazon: "Male Chastity - The "Key" To A Successful Female Led Relationship" - I guarantee it just might sell her. I know it's selling a lot of women right now on taking that FLR lead and implementing male chastity. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Male-Chastity...GYW_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411052566&sr=1-5
     
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  10. HZX
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    HZX Member

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  11. Petey
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    Petey Member

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  12. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    @Petey, and what did she say??? Dont leave us hanging lol.
     
  13. Petey
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    Well I was about to say things were going great, but now I'm thoroughly confused.

    To answer your question, it's been a long process. I've always had a much higher sex drive than her, and more kinky. I had bought a cock ring and was using it occasionally during sex. So I got up the courage one day to show her a picture of a chastity cage. I laughed it off as a joke at the time, but later told her it might be fun to try one. "It might be fun to be locked up for a Saturday, and then have great sex that night".
    She eventually let me buy a cheap cage off dhgate to try. That was almost 2 years ago. But she kept telling me she thought it was weird, not a turn on for her, etc.
    That's when I showed her the article above and tried to explain why it was exciting. She began playing along really well after a few months and we upgraded to a MM jailbird. My lockups got pretty long - I think my longest was about a month between orgasms, with only a few hours break the whole month. She was enjoying the attention, extra help around the house and with kids, etc. She even told one or two of her friends about our 'game'. (Although maybe to say she thinks I'm weird, who knows). She doesn't have a high sex drive, but still gets her fill once or twice a week by letting me use her favorite toys on her.
    Fast forward to a few days ago:
    I had just had sex with her after about a 4 week lockup and it was great. But the day after, I was bugging her for sex again and didn't really want to give her a massage that she asked for. So she got upset and told me to lock up immediately! I was a little in shock, because she normally doesn't demand that. It's usually me that hints or suggests going back in. However, I thought it was pretty exciting at the same time.
    So back in the cage I was and the next night, she was having a bad day and was tired. Somehow I brought up chastity again, like i do too often. It set her off and she went on a rant about how this stupid cage is weird and she'll never understand what I enjoy about it.
    Huh?? Just when I though she was getting into it, and telling me to lock up, she says she hates it? Now I'm confused.
    I tried showing her Mistress Ivey's Green's blog post: http://mistressivey.blogspot.ca/2014/08/what-men-want.html. (Another good article for the original poster.
    But she was past the point of wanting to read or understand. A few hours later I had calmed down, and told her I was ready to take a break for a while. "Please give me the key and we'll stop this for a while and talk about it at a later date. If you hate it that much we'll just stop"
    Her reply was a simple "no". She wasn't going to get me the key...
    If I wasn't confused before, I sure was now. She had calmed down by this time too and tried to explain... "I said I don't understand why you like it, but I didn't say I wanted to stop.".
    I went to shower and thought about it. After my shower I asked her again to let me out. (I was pretty sure she is only continuing to play along with my game for my sake only). I wanted to show her that she was more important than any kink. So if she wasn't interested, we didn't have to play.
    But she still refused, and here we are 3 days later. No release, no indication of when I will be released either...
    So here I sit, locked up, but in a different head space now. I'm really wondering if she's only doing this for me, or if she actually gets some enjoyment out of it. She did let me play with her last night!. (Leaving me locked and frustrated / excited as usual)
    Time will tell I suppose...
     
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  14. manintyres
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    manintyres Junior Member

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    From what I have just read it sounds as like your getting a "from fantasy to reality" moment.
    I may have this wrong but from your last post in infers that she would normally cave in and give you the keys and now she is staying firm and not letting you out of the device which no puts her firmly in control of the situation and maybe this is a new chapter in both of your lives where she has embraced the concept fully.
    This may be her way of training you not to ask for the releases and if you don't ask she may "reward" you.
    It's only guesswork on my part and I can imagine why you are a bit confused by her change in the way she is dealing with this issue now compared to the past but maybe just maybe you are getting what you wished for and she is dealing with it in her own way and finding her own path.

    Remember everyone is different and has their own way of doing things and their own style and no two d/s relationships are the same let alone ones that include chastity.

    Try and be patient and do your best for her and see where this goes.

    I've known somme couples in similar situations where the lady has thrown the keys at the man and told him to never visit this again and totally gone off of the chastity idea.
     
  15. guest 2942
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    @Petey , I'm no expert here but it sounds like maybe she is just confused. Give her some time and let things lie still for a bit. Maybe her comments were out of frustration and she didnt really mean it, at least deep down. If she did mean it then maybe she does think its a weird kink you have but does see the benefits of it in real life and kinda likes that but hard to admit. After things cool down a bit, you might mention how badly you were behaving (asking for sex and no massage) and use that as reasons she should keep playing lol. Explain how that would have never happened if you were locked up :p. Anyways keep us updated.
     
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  16. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    I showed my wife some of the chastity websites that did not require a Mistress/sub relationship outside of chastity play. In the end, despite what she read, she did what she wanted to. What finally hooked her was not anything she read. It was the feeling of control she got when she teased and denied me and the intensity of my orgasm after a few weeks. One thing that helped us is the use of a safe word. If I say the safe word, we step out of our chastity roles and discuss the problem and fix it. This allows my wife to ignore my pleas and physical discomfort because she knows that no matter how I act or what I say, unless I use my safe word, we are still playing and I am not in any danger, physically or mentally.
     
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  17. Petey
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    I think you were accurate with some of your observations @ineverknew. I think my wife was just having a bad day, but there was probably truth in what she was saying. She still thinks its a little weird, but deep down she is enjoying the real life benefits - just doesn't want to admit it. The way this past week and a half have gone really fit in with that idea.

    So a day after my last post, I was having some comfort issues with the dhgate cage I had been locked in. It was an even smaller one than my mm, but I wanted to see what a tiny cage was like. (Very frustrating, exciting, humbling, but ultimately a little too small and caused some irritation). So I asked to be let out to adjust or switch to the the jailbird. She agreed since it was a comfort issue. I made an adjustment to the cage and tried my luck at asking for a bit of a tease while I was out. She agreed and played with me for a bit while we watched a show. Then we just went to bed and I was not told to lock up again! So I didn't!

    The fact that she didn't want me locked back up pointed toward her lack of interest. So I decided to experiment to really find out what her interest level was. I just went on with life as if we didn't own a cage. I went to work, went about my daily routine without the 'extra' attention. (Although I usually do my share around the house), and we had sex! A lot! 5 times in 6 days I believe. (Maybe not a lot compared to some, but more than we usually do). I didn't mention chastity at all.

    But my experiment was working. She mentioned the cage or chastity at least once a day over the last week. Deep down I think she was testing me too. She wanted to see if I would take the bait and ask to be locked up. But I didn't take the bait. I wanted her to make me lock up. If she directly told me to put it on, I would. I didn't want her to do it because I asked. She would joke about how I should watch my step, or she'd lock me back up. Or like yesterday morning, she gave me a list of things to do for the day "And you better not slack off or you'll be locked back up buddy!" Either she was faking it very well for my benefit, or she was actually missing the control, but didn't want to admit it.

    But last night she saw her opportunity and took it. I love the idea of going down on her, but have only done it maybe a dozen times in our 7 year marriage. She doesn't like the idea of it (thinks it's gross), but I know she likes the feeling of it once she gets over the mental aspect. So I always teasingly bug her about it. We were in a good mood and had both showered, so I asked again, seeing if she'd let me. She pushed me away as usual, but I joked a little more and said "I think I'll take away all your toys and I won't allow you an orgasm again until I can do it with my tongue". She laughed, but didn't brush it off as a joke. Instead she said "Ok!... But on one condition - you have to be caged until that happens".
    "Hmm... interesting", I said. We joked some more about who could outlast who. (She has a much lower sex drive, but has never been tested for how long she could hold out). Nothing was set in stone during that conversation and we went about our day. I hinted a while later about having sex again, and said "can't wait till later!" Her reply was "Why, so you can be locked back up??" Hmm, she was serious about this. So we talked some more and came to an actual agreement. What's more: She said" Hippopotomus"... "What?"... "That's your safe word. I know you'll be bugging me to unlock you, but I won't unless you use the safe word in a real emergency".
    Wow, she was getting serious!
    So I was locked up last night with the following rules: If she caves first and wants her orgasm, I get to give it to her orally, and I get unlocked and get an orgasm myself. If I can't take it anymore, I use my safe word, and can be unlocked, but no going down on her and there will be a punishment involved. Also, I'm sure she will be more demanding with me locked up, and my punishment for any slip ups will be to be placed into the 'tiny' dhgate cage for a duration decided by her.

    So... very interesting developments. I think not bringing it up, not putting pressure on her, letting her decide on the rules has loosened her up a bit. I've too often made the mistake of pushing too fast, too soon, or the old 'topping from the bottom', so I'm trying to avoid that now. Hope the progress continues! I'm nervous... I'm sure she can hold out for well over a month (which was my previous longest term).
     
  18. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    I'm kinda confused about whats going on, but regardless it sounds like your both getting into a new arrangement that sounds like your both excited about, so yay!! :)
     
  19. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @Petey my cage is a teeny one from there as well and i likes it better than my old cb6s one cos it don't let my pee pee grow none and so it don't hurt when i a bit excite.
     
  20. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Sarah Jameson's book is very good. She also used to, and may still do, include a letter which introduces the male chastity and provides some good answers and explanations to many of the questions your partner may ask. It also sets out to allay some of her actual or potential fears. With the added bonus of explaining why it works for her and that your partner has nothing at all to lose by giving it a go and potentially everything to gain.

    This can be quite useful to either of you too, especially if one or both of you are comfortable with a scientific explanation as to why (without being too techy) http://www.reuniting.info/node/4865

    It certainly helps explain the .. 'why do I want to cum and want to be denied at the same time question'.

    There are other approaches too which you may think might work better for your partner, but whichever you do go with...good luck and don't be too disheartened if she does not take to the idea straight away.
    .
     
  21. Penny12
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    Penny12 New member

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    Being new here, I am a little in awe of some of the things I have read. My wife does not approve of me going out dressed or meeting with other girls. Although she has not said it outright, she has said enough for me to know that her main objection is the possibility of something happening. That's why I am here to find out about chastity and see if that could make things work for us both. I am open to any advice.
     
  22. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @Penny12 As this comment has little to do with the OP, it would have been best for you to have started a new thread on the subject.
    I have noted that you have only recently joined and if you need help with starting a new thread then just ask. :)
     
  23. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    @Penny12 Seems to Me that your comment was that you were here to learn more about chastity and how it could benefit you and your wife. If I am not mistaken that is exactly what this thread started as. Read and learn Penny, no need to move to another fourm or start another thread.
     
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  24. Petey
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    Petey Member

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  25. Penny12
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    Penny12 New member

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