How to go down on her - oral sex tips

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by keephimcaged, Jul 5, 2016.

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  1. keephimcaged
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    I started this as a reply to @Jasmic68 's wonderful Love and Denial thread but decided it was getting too long and didn't want to hijack it, so I'll put it here as a separate thread. He'd been talking about improving going down on his wife, and I thought I'd throw in my thoughts...

    Let's take a minute to pick up on your oral sex observations, because I think this is a common problem, that most of the advice out there is awful. The number of times I read nonsense like 'spell out the alphabet on her clit' eugh, such a load of crap!

    Now obviously what women like does vary, as do the physiology of it all, bigger clits, smaller clits, etc. So first and foremost you need to be communicating, stop acting like you know what feels best and ASK HER! Literally, 'tell me what feels best' is all you need to say as you go down and she'll take more control.

    But, here's my thoughts from my experience and other women I talk to about this stuff:

    Get her relaxed and deal with her anxieties
    A lot of women worry a lot about how attractive their pussies are. Yep, we don't talk about it much, but it's a huge issue for some women - as if we didn't have enough to worry about with boob size - labia anxiety can be a real mood killer. So, make sure you tell her you love how her pussy looks - if it's an issue for her, she won't believe you, but keep telling her every time anyway, it might sink in.
    The other thing we worry about is how we taste and smell, so again, don't over do it, but 'God I love how you taste' or 'Your scent turns me on so much' (scent is much sexier than 'smell') are very reassuring, and then we can relax, and the games can begin!
    If she doesn't have an issue with these things, then don't overdo all this (IMO), some guys seem to want to talk about how a woman tastes way too much, it's a bit weird.
    Bottom line, get her relaxed so she can enjoy it.

    Focus on what's important - her clit (and her mind)
    Okay, and as Jas has wonderfully described in his thread, you guys waste a lot of time doing stuff that doesn't feel so good. You're kind of doing things in the wrong order in my opinion.
    What a lot of you do is go and spend ages kind of licking around pussy lips and kissing and nibbling when actually it doesn't feel that amazing. Those are NOT our pleasure centres. If a woman's never had a guy go down on her then fine, it's all very exciting, but if this is routine for you, then the key is getting us REALLY aroused first and THEN start with that other stuff. And what gets us aroused... mind games, and clit stimulation.

    I say mind games because the thing you can do before you get to the clit is tease the living fuck out of us (unless we're in a domme 'Get your mouth on me NOW' mood.

    Start on our thighs or tummy and work your way with kisses to our mound, build the anticipation, hover over us with your mouth, make some eye contact, etc. But after that, don't spend very long getting to our clits, it's wasted effort, better used later on.

    As I said, clits vary, but there are two major techniques that work brilliantly in my experience. Concentrated licking, and sucking.

    Now you do want to add a few different things in just to break up the experience, these include long wide tongue licks from our pussy to clit, sucking on our labia, tongue fucking us and kisses, along with EYE CONTACT and smiles, but those should be the little intermissions between you concentrating on our clits.
    That's because the goal is to get us screamingly close to cumming and THEN you can do some of the other stuff because when we are that aroused it ALL feels amazing.

    But okay, those two techniques. Concentrated clit licking, first through the clit hood and then as she gets more aroused either it will naturally get her clit more exposed or you can use your fingers to gently draw it back. But you want your face pressed quite hard on her, your mouth quite open, lips surrounding her mound and your tongue pushed out in a point and that soft, wonderful part of you doing a combination of firm circles around the clit, or up and down on it. You're basically using it like you would your finger if you were masturbating her, so it's pretty firm. And yes, this is tiring, you'll have to build up stamina over time.

    The neat trick is the other technique is less tiring on your tongue, so you can move between the two. That is clit sucking. For this you want to put your lips more tightly around her clit and gently suck so that the clit is pulled a little into your mouth. This feels good. What feels great is when you then flick it with your tongue as you suck. I asked hubby to describe what he does and said you do little sucks AS with each flick of your tongue, like when you're drinking on a straw, you pull your tongue in a bit to create suction, but making the tip of your tongue flick over the clit as you do (that's the best description I could get... sorry!).
    It's also mixed with stronger sucks, sometimes for a little longer, but you aren't sucking on a lollipop here guys, don't over do it.

    For me, that sucking flick builds up the pleasure and then he pushes out his tongue with the concentrated licking and it's like it releases it each time. It's incredible.

    But the point is, find some very clit focused techniques and stick with those with only minor breaks to catch your breath and not make it monotonous.

    Because, as we get close to cumming EVERYTHING starts to feel amazing, so that's when you can take longer breaks to kiss and lick our labia, to come up and suck on our nipples (as long as you get back down there fast!), tongue fuck our wet little holes, and if we're into it rub and lick our bottoms.

    Hubby plays a game with me to help me be more assertive, he won't take me over the edge until I tell him to, and the bastard can keep me on edge with his mouth for ever, it's truly wicked. So yes, either explicitly or as a secret aim, you could try to make her get so excited and needy she orders you to make her cum. So hot.
    Again we'll differ but as soon as I've gone over the edge I'm too senstive for the super intense clit stimulation, so see what works for her but concentrated licking through the clit hood is what works for us to keep the orgasm going and not spoilt it from over stimulation.

    Other little tips:
    Make some noise - some moans of pleasure as we both get into it are super hot. Don't over do it, and no, we don't care you're faking it (do you care when we do, nope...)
    Fingers - at the right time, pushing a finger or two inside and stimulating the g-spot can feel amazing, but don't feel you have to do it every time. When I'm feeling very naughty I like him sticking a finger in my bottom... just saying. But, as is the key point here, I only want it when I'm very close to cumming and all my inhibitions are gone.
    It may be that all she wants or needs is a quickie, in which case skip most of the above and just go and use your mouth to take her over the edge, and maybe give her a quick second orgasm too.

    I hope that helps, please fire any questions my way or add your own tips and experiences too!

    Jane xxx
     
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  2. MRGermany
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    Thats Great! ultimative!
     
  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    oooh that is lovley and i love reading it and it make want to do it. i has a very long tonge and my Mistress lets me do it to Her ever such a lot and when She moans its lovley and i am very proud to make Her all happy.
     
  4. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Pay Attention! I give that advice all the time. Just in in tune with whats happening instead of hanging out down there like you're performing a task. If you pay attention, to the sounds, and movements, and just to Her in general, her body will tell you when you're on the right track. When you can tell something is good, do THAT. Keep that policy in mind and if nothing else you'll get her off :)
     
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  5. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    Boys

    Make sure you have a nice shave and a bath before you get upfront and personal !

    Xx Wendy
     
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  6. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I am so pleased that I had a small part in getting this thread started. I had been doing it right for ages and then read a damn stupid book that had a ridiculous checklist it wanted me to follow and trying to get its list of instructions out of my head hasn't been very easy. Recently my Wife noticed that my oral technique wasn't working as well as it used to but it took her ages before she said anything. Luckily her new more assertive persona broke through her normal reticence to talk about sexual issues.

    I love the advice about shaving first @Wendygirl . Also if you do have a mustache then trim that sucker so it isn't scratchy. There is no way my Wife will let me anywhere near her delicate area with a scratchy face.

    With regards to inserting a finger the thing about my Wife is she has a different response to this every time I try it. Sometimes she responds very positively to my finger and other times it is obviously not helping, so I remove it. Sometimes I just hold it still, hooked upwards in the 'come here' position, other times she likes me to rub around her g spot area and very occasionally she wants me to basically fuck her with my finger, hard and fast. She only ever wants one finger at a time though, I tried to insert a few once and she wasn't into that at all.

    This is definitely an example of why you have to 'listen' to her responses. You can feel her body respond to your tongue. It is the primary reason why I honestly think I am much better with my tongue than I am with my penis. That guy only thinks about himself, he doesn't give back much feedback at all other than 'this feels good, do it some more'.

    I have spent years telling my Wife how much I love her pussy, the way it looks and smells and feels and and oh my I need it!

    I think if I tried to suck my Wife's nipple whilst she was close to an orgasm she would probably punch me! But I always do what you suggest about spending time kissing her body on my way down to her pussy. These days we usually spend time with me giving her a back massage before I lick her bottom and when she is ready for the finale she turns over and I lick her pussy. The ass licking is now her favorite thing but she doesn't get an orgasm that way. What it does do is get her right up to the point where she is very turned on. This is why my messing around licking her entire pussy very slowly wasn't received well.

    I am really looking forward to having a chance to read this to my Wife.
     
  7. keephimcaged
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    Excellent point!

    Also as well as him shaving hubby tells me it's much easier to do the clit sucking thing if I'm trimmed or bare as hairs don't break the suction. So that works both ways!

    Also Jas, definitely worth adding a vibe on her clit to the bottom licking as a combo - I push down on our wand usually, just.. A-MA-ZING cumming while you continue to do that.
     
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  8. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    Thank you so much for this amazingly beneficial information Miss Jane. It will give me something to focus all my sexual frustration on.
     
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  9. Her Dividend
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    Her Dividend Junior Member

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    I would not offer a "how to" guide about pleasing a woman -- but we have been following a new regimen, namely that before I'm allowed in bed I'm to be plugged with an expandable bulb that's inflated sixteen pumps. This creates a proper, manageable distress level -- and to cope with it I become needy, attentive, and reactive. If bondage and teasing are added -- well -- the passion I feel becomes bridled and enormous. In a short amount of time I'm like a soldier back on leave from the moon -- desperate and ready to please. This is when my partner becomes a Goddess; she has all the power, I am fully overcome, and my urgent frothy attractions are centered squarely on her -- the center of my universe and gateway of my deliverance.
     
  10. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    My Wife's approach is the exact opposite. Recently I had an episode where I lost control with overwhelming feelings of desire and she never wants that to happen again. If I was to ever start to show signs of such levels of frantic need and desperation she would stop the proceedings immediately. If I am going to pleasure her then I need to concentrate to be able to 'read' her bodies responses to my attention. For that I need my full faculties available.

    The feelings of helpless desire are reserved for when I am the one on the receiving end.
     
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  11. Pinkie
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    Pinkie Active member

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    KeepHimCaged, I love this post!

    Here is my list:
    Shave. Be clean.
    Brush your teeth. I'm going to kiss you.
    If your lips are dry - get some Chap Stick, lotion, vaseline- something on them to make them soft.
    Same for your hands - lotion please.
    Foreplay.
    Kisses behind the knees and in the crook of my elbows makes me melty.
    If I ask you to do something a certain way - do it that way- don't add your own something extra.

    Pay attention is the best advice here after hygiene.

    RP is the only male who gives me oral - I am just that spoiled. As ours is a Cuck relationship, I do have sex with other males -- but never oral.
     
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  12. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    My Wife starts getting melty when I kiss the small of her back. She has these small soft hairs there that are hardly visible but I can feel with my lips. I blow on them and kiss her before moving down to her bottom. She makes quiet squeaky noises as I do it that totally turn me on. I'm going to try doing the same with the backs of her elbows and knees when I get back to Germany next week.
     
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  13. Submissive Guy
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    Mistress requires me to be freshly shaved and bathed. Before my milking I have chores: shave her pussy nice and clean / bare, then draw her bath and wash her. Dry her off and help her into a quarter cup bra, open bottom girdle and stockings. Then get the milking items and report to the milking location. In preparation for my milking, I get on my knees as she sits legs spread to expose her pussy in the OB girdle and eat her to orgasm. By then I am uncomfortably erect in my cage and dripping, and ready to be milked slowly to empty my pent up chastity fluids.
     
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  14. Pinkie
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    Pinkie Active member

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    There are different areas on all of us that can make us go melty/crazy. I encourage you to investigate further ;) I love when RP goes investigating <3
     
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