How to get my husband to embrace a Canasta Centric Lifestyle?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by AshleyWilsonBlack, Sep 1, 2022.

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  1. AshleyWilsonBlack
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    Hello fellow Canasta enthusiasts!

    Like most of you, I LOVE Canasta. I think about it all the time. I’ve wanted a Canasta Centric Lifestyle for years. I’ve been reading a lot about CCL and finally worked up the courage to tell my husband (John) about it. John seemed reluctant, but agreed to try it. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to have really clicked for him.

    I definitely want a Level 4 CCL. I want Canasta to be part of every aspect of our life because I know it will help me lose weight and focus on my husband’s needs. I know males secretly yearn for Canasta, and I truly believe my proper place is to play Canasta with my husband. He says he doesn’t really like card games but he plays video games all the time so I feel like he just hasn’t given it a chance yet.

    I explained that we could play Canasta whenever he wanted. I told him I’d let him win every time. I really want him to wear his tuxedo while playing Canasta. I want him to demand we play Canasta in the middle of a crowded restaurant in front of everybody. I told him I’d only play Canasta with him but he’d could play Canasta with whoever he wanted.

    Since starting a Full Time Level 4 CCL he only tells me to play Canasta with him every week or so which just isn’t enough for me. I’ve tried leaving the cards out so he’ll see them and be reminded, but he just put them away while tidying up. I asked him if he talks to his friends about playing Canasta with me but he kinda brushed it off. I'd be SO embarrassed if he did even though he knows he can tell them about it if he wants to. I wonder if he’ll ever make me play Canasta with his friends.

    Together we wrote down some rules for me, and if I break the rules, we drop everything we’re doing and play Canasta.
    One of the rules is “do not tape dirty dishes to the ceiling”. But I’m forgetful so I accidentally taped dirty dishes to the ceiling. When I heard John get home I knew I was going to be in huge trouble and he’d force me to play Canasta. But he just told me he was really tired from work and didn’t want to play Canasta.

    I really thought we were finally getting somewhere on my birthday a few weeks ago. He planned a whole Canasta themed day, and even wore his tuxedo. We played Canasta for hours and hours and it was amazing. I thought he finally saw how great a CCL could be. But the next day it was just back to normal life. All he did was call me his “Canasta babe” once and that was it. I felt really let down, because now we’re back to only playing Canasta once or twice a week.

    So, Canasta Mansion, my question to you is, how do I slowly add more and more Canasta to our lives? When will it really click for him that this is who we’re meant to be? How long did it take for your husbands to “get it” and embrace CCL?

    P.S. John isn’t his real name. This isn’t a privacy thing, we just haven’t had a real conversation since 1987 and I forgot his name... it actually might be John... I think he lives in Seattle.
     
  2. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    I just don’t think I can contribute. My hard limit is taping my dirty dishes to the ceiling.
     
  3. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    If John lives in Seattle, he is too amped up on caffeine and great beer to be reasonably considered coherent, let alone offer his consent.
     
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  4. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    I guess it just wasn't in the cards for you.
     
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  5. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    I have no idea what this is...
     
  6. subhubandy
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    subhubandy CFnm loving sub hubby

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    Sounds like a lot of shuffling...
     
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  7. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    You are AWESOME, it is likely that those who need to understand this unfortunately won’t!!!

    I award you best post of the year!
     
  8. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    I’ll provide a hint:

    snark (noun)

    \ ˈsnärk

    Definition of snark
    informal

    : an attitude or expression of mocking irreverence and sarcasm
     
  9. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

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    This truly is THE best post of the year.

    Essence of a Seinfeld episode.

    This is Swiftian satire. Perhaps even better.

    As someone mentioned above, those who needed this message the most, probably won’t get it.

    I’m left with a few burning questions:

    Can you wear your “I love canasta!” T shirt at airport security?

    Can you play canasta at a nude beach, or is it better to keep that private?

    Is anyone aware of a canasta friendly doctor so that I’m not embarrassed during check ups?

    Is it best to draw up a canasta strategy contract so the rules are played by?
     
  10. SubDee
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    SubDee Active member

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    Just make sure you consider all of this advice with a heaping spoonful of salt.
    The fact is, many folks in the Vanilla world will probably think he’s gay if he enjoys canasta too much….Not that there is anything wrong with that
     
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  11. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    Pfftt, pure fantasist!
     
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  12. aussie_chaste
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    aussie_chaste Active member

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    I think many have embraced the solitaire lifestyle.
     
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  13. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    This post has made my morning. It’s nice to know other people have also gone through this. From a male perspective, there is some hope;

    Before we got married my wife told me she was big into the CCL scene. Her and her previous partner would go to events and even play with other couples! I was shocked but she didn’t say that’s what she wanted from me. I was also a little perplexed, I’m lead to believe couples who play it together have a perfect life of devotion to the cards. What possible problems could they have encountered to end such a perfect life?

    We have a happy life, kids, holidays, financial security… after a while though in our comfort we hadn’t even played gin rummy for 3 years, let alone Canasta. She openly blames my lack of desire for card games as the reason it doesn’t happen for her.

    A few months ago I walked into the bedroom and was shocked to find she’d secretly been playing Canasta alone… I didn’t understand. She didn’t actually discuss that she wanted games to form part our relationship. We don’t communicate about these things, she keeps them private. We don’t open up to each other in any sense, the basis of a good relationship.

    A few days later I started receive captions of really skilled canasta players from my wife. I knew that’s what she wanted although my interest in these sort of games had dwindled over the years.

    I saw on her browser history she had been on forums asking how to get me into the lifestyle. A week later she sent me a very descriptive email all about Canasta and how she feels that part of her life is missing…
    There were links to videos online that she had found of really intense matches! As I generally have nothing else in my life to consider I immediately sat down and watched!

    Without any verbal communication or open discussion and feeling as distant from her as ever.. That’s when it clicked:

    It didn’t matter that I’d only played it a few times before and after each time my hands felt dry and I’d found the whole experience a little one sided… Nothing else in my life should matter. My thoughts on Canasta are irrelevant. She needed it and so I should be that player she wanted.

    Later that night I got out the cards and beckoned her into the room. Although, this game is completely alien to me without any guidance, instruction or even a vague notion of what she expected I instantly played like a professional. Turning the cards in all the ways she wanted. I ended on the two of spades, I couldn’t let her have a higher card. That isn’t how Canasta works (I mean it could be) She was thrilled…

    Over the months I’ve made her play morning, noon and night. We’ve found other couples who want to join in our games nights too. Recently, at a family BBQ I made her show all our friends her deck of cards. As is custom now I was wearing the Jack of Hearts showing in my jacket in place of my usual pocket square… my commitment is so strong.

    Next month we’re going away for a professional tournament. She’s worried about how to get her cards through airport security and so I’ve ordered her a fully translucent deck as we couldn’t possibly avoid playing while being on the plane. While we’re there I’ve secretly got her booked in with the tattooist… any thoughts on what I should have her get?
     
  14. Tom Allen
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    As my aunt Theresa used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say about something or someone... come sit next to me."
     
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  15. madams-sissysub
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    you beat me to it!
     
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  16. Lazlo Toth
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    What’s the longest anyone played canasta without stopping? I mean no food, no sleep, no shower. Just uninterrupted canasta.

    My wife says that this October I can expect zero relief from Canasta.

    And she’s gonna invite my mother in law to stay with us and play the whole time.
     
  17. Lazlo Toth
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    You could even put a chain around your neck to hold your glasses while deep in the canasta lifestyle.

     
  18. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Long term member

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    I, too, loved the first post and was laughing as I read it. Subsequent comments have added to the mirth.
     
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  19. johnny1
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    johnny1 Member

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    I started reading the first post and then skipped through it because I have no idea what Canasta is. After I read a few of the comments I went back and reread the first post from a different perspective. Very well done!

    I know a lot of the posts at Canasta Mansion are very similar to the top post. However, what I get out of CM isn't tips on how make my wife suddenly realize that life centers around Canasta, but rather how my wife actually perceives my enjoyment of Canasta and how to go about playing Canasta in a real life relationship that doesn't add unwanted burden to her already busy life.

    I appreciate the satire of this thread, but Canasta Mansion is what you make of it. There are people new to the game, people that have played it for decades, and people that just like writing fantasies about it. I've found really great threads that have taught me a lot, while skipping the ones that don't add value to my life. Like anywhere else, you choose what material you consume. Choose wisely ;)
     
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  20. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    what is canasta anyway. i never hear of it before.
     
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  21. Lazlo Toth
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    Jemima,

    Canasta is a card game. In the usa it’s often associated with Jewish people playing it as reason for a social gathering.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canasta
     
  22. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    A wonderful piece of trolling. Kudos.
     
  23. Tom Harris
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    Tom Harris Member

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    Ok, I thought I was just wicked stoopit
     
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  24. Anonymouse
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    Anonymouse Active member

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    "Oh, hey Gran! Oh, yeah, please, use this umbrella while you're here, there's... A dripping problem. Thank you!"

    I haven't laughed this hard in such a long time, my sides hurt.
     
  25. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Happy to add to your levity, but this is serious business. Introducing Canasta to an existing relationship is not to be taken lightly. Issues will arise and need to be dealt with.
     
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