How to behave around house guests

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mistress Spike, Jul 16, 2010.

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  1. Mistress Spike
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    Mistress Spike Slettebak

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    I was curious as to how couples act around house guests who are staying over for several days or more? My cousin, her fiance and her son will be staying with us starting next week for a little over a week. My husband and I are really enjoying the D/s lifestyle and want to continue it but we don't want to make our guests feel uncomfortable. I will tell me cousin about our lifestyle of course (we're close and tell each other everything) but I don't really want to discipline him in front of them if he misbehaves.

    Does anyone have any tips and experiences with having house guests and being dominant?
     
  2. Kali
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    Kali No access to my Member

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    I thought about the couple of different ways I could respond to this and finally decided just to go with the way I feel.

    You're relationship is consensual between the two of you; adding in other people, without their consent is improper. If you explain it all to your cousin before hand, and have her consent, that is a different story.

    However, exposing the D/s aspects of your relationship to children is unacceptable. There is no need for you to discipline your husband in front of a child.

    This is, of course, my opinion.
     
  3. Mistress Spike
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    Mistress Spike Slettebak

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    I totally agree with that!

    I was mostly curious because they would have to know (and suspect something) because my husband does everything around the house that I ask him to do. So do people avoid suspicion and go back to "normal" living or do they continue in a much subtler way?
     
  4. Kali
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    Kali No access to my Member

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    I wouldn't make a big deal of it; if your husband is doing things around the house while you're family is visiting, that makes him a very nice guy. If you want to call attention to the fact by ordering him around, then you are including your family in your D/s play.

    FWIW, I've been in the "scene", as it is currently called, since the 1970's, until recently as a top. So I have been in your situation.
     
  5. asonx355
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    asonx355 Hey there, how are you?

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    You can still be D/s with those not in the lifestyle staying with you. It is just a matter of modifying your approach and tactics. I am not going to assume how you run your house, but here are a few from ours.

    1. The needs of our guests, Mistress, then myself: this can be done in a nonchalant manner. I usually will get up and see if anyone needs anything. If so, including Mistress, I will gladly oblidge. Getting them what they desire and then serving Mistress. Since we do have a protocol established it is modified so that when I had her whatever when she excepts she will just shake her head in acknowledgement. This goes largely undected.

    2. If he does misbehave, take him aside (in a whisper if in a not so private setting) letting him know that when you retire for the night that punishment is due and this way it can be away from, sight and sound, your guests.

    3. Luckily I have a beautiful everyday collar that looks like a necklace. We will adjour to the bed room so that some protocol is met when being taken off and put back on I.e. For showering and general hygiene. Same goes for a chastity device.

    These are just a few and I hope that they help formulate some different ideas around vanilla guests.
     
  6. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    Dear Mistress Spike,

    my Mistress and i do not like to annoy non-scene people with our lifestyle so we continue in a more subtle way. My clothing will be more casual (just what any housewife would wear in the kitchen) and Mistress does not refer to me as Her maid and She does not inflict immediate punishments but will remind me of and deal with my misbehaviour later.
    Our experience is that people will pick up the vibes anyway and when interested will ask more questions. If not they will pass over it discreetly.
    It's a bit different when children are present. I guess Your cousin's son is still a minor. In that case You should refrain from pushing anything. The decision if at all and how much he may see or know is totally up to his mother/parents. If they decide to spare him any knowledge about Your relationship because his too young then You simply have to wait till he's gone to bed.

    Hope this helps a bit.

    *curtsey*

    maid katrin
     
  7. subklik
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    subklik Office Girl

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    Hello Spike:

    While living in a D/s relationship my Mistress and i revert to social acceptable behaviour.
    when guests are around She actually serves me and does all the usual traditional wifely things.

    If i stepout of line during this vanilla time, i pay with a whipping when they are gone.

    However you want to play it it really is unacceptale to put this, our unusual lifestyle in front of those who do not support nor understand it.

    This is more than an opinion it is a matter of commn sense and respect for others.

    I think you will know what to do.

    subklik
     
  8. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Common sense is the order of the day, I'd say. I do really disagree with pushing lifestyle choices onto other people. Some friends of ours have been told that we have a "female led relationship" but as far as they are concerned that just means that I run the household including the finances and to be honest, they don't need to understand anymore than that as it's none of their business. I do often threaten him with a good hiding (a spanking) in front of other people and everyone smiles at the "joke" and conversation moves on ......
     
  9. Mistress Spike
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    Mistress Spike Slettebak

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    Thanks for the input everyone! I have no experience with guests yet because I've only been dominant for 2 months. I think we are going to continue being D/s, but in a subtle way where he is just a domestic house-husband and I wear the pants lovingly. I know she is going to want to know how we're doing because we went through A LOT in our relationship in the past 6 months and she is going to want to know how and why we are doing so well (chastity being about 25% of our remedy).
     
  10. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    If any questions are asked about him doing so much for you, just laugh and say, I have him train well!!! It will blow over I'm sure. If he has done something, or pushed his boundaries, just have a code word, like canning peaches. That brings a smile to both my wife and me. For an old movie, when the lady of the house was asked why she was soo flush, she just said she was canning peaches. Jack was so excited, he said that they were going to can many more nights..

    Just your little way of controlling him without others knowing. Hope it all works out for both of you..

    Tanya
     
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