How to be an online key holder?

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by Byrdie, Feb 21, 2021.

  1. Byrdie
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    Byrdie Junior Member
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    I have a set of stylistic questions, I guess, as I'm a complete n00b at any sort of keyholding.

    I have a theoretical idea of how this works in person, and even how it can work long distance for people who already know each other in person. I am unsure, however, of how to be a keyholder for some random person with whom I have no emotional investment, whom I've never met before and will likely not be meeting.

    What, exactly, would I be doing? Just setting up a session with some parameters, advertising the session for folks to vote on ... and that's it? Would I be actively voting on the session with everyone else, or would I just get one vote?

    Would I be requesting pictures or video of plastic locks with code numbers on them that are in use?

    Would I be expected to tease and deny this person? I'm assuming that's negotiable, but as I know nothing about that person then I wouldn't have an idea of how to approach it except to come up with a default cookie-cutter style for strangers and they either are into it or too bad. Is that how it's done?

    I'm unsure of how to do this as the supposed "top". I guess I could just stumble in and pretend I know what I'm doing, but I'm not terribly comfortable with that even with folks I know, let alone with complete strangers.

    Are there help files or discussion groups for virtual keyholders that go beyond just setting up the software?

    It's possible that virtual keyholding - outside of a pause in an otherwise in-person relationship - may not be for me. However, I'm open to finding out.
     
  2. Juan.
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    Juan. Long term member

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    Dont force anything, let it be yourself, no matter what the true nature or any of us always end showing

    I could tell you my ideal KH but it is mine and you couldnt feel comfortable with it as most probably wont want to do some things, i am going to tell you a thing to show that it dont need to be nothing extreme, i would want to receive some sexy photos but kind of revealing, for me wont be enough a bikini or underwear photo, reality it is that you dont have to, it wouldnt matter that much even if i dont get any photos at all

    So do your style and enjoy, the ones who shares the same things you do will join and it will be a much better experience for both, you could take ideas from books or other people but dont follow as a rule if you are not fully convinced, the easiest way could be reddit to check what others do and like, some resources:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/KeyHolder/
    https://www.reddit.com/r/keyholdercaptions/ (to get a taste of what some dreams about it)
    https://www.reddit.com/r/ChastityCouples/
    https://www.reddit.com/r/chastity/

    Internet for good or bad depersonalize people so it should be easy than in real life and of course it is possible, there are a lot of options to make it works, plastic locks for example lets you know if cheated or not
     
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  3. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    I was hesitant to reply, as i am not a dom but sub, and not comfortable giving instructions. I do have an online Mistress, but she doesn't hold my key. But here are a few of my ideas regarding your questions.

    First, subs are generally simple. Motivation and desires are often very similar. But You are right, not knowing an individual makes being their Domme difficult. So require them to write a good introduction, with details on what excites them, what their boundaries are, and how they see the relationship with a Domme. Ask what they can do for You. For many, the thrill of giving up control to a superior is enough motivation. A limited exchange of emails or texts should give You ideas on how they would best be controlled, punished or rewarded.

    Dommes, are much more complex. Being in charge requires more mental effort and time than might be expected. So the real crux of Your question is what do You want from online keyholding? If it's money, that's fine. If if is knowing you have the power and control over someone, that works too. If it is just a way for You to reinforce Your value and superiority, that makes sense too. Just find what You want and what benefit the sub can provide. Even online, the focus should revolve around the Domme.

    As far as how it works, my personal view is I don't see why a service, or allowing others to extend or reduce Your sub's time would have value. A simple system where a sub puts keys in a box with a combo lock should work. They can send You a photo of combination, and once you see it clearly, they can lock it. Of course, You have to trust them not to look at photo. Then their time caged depends on how You want to make it work. When they earn release or have a situation where they need out, you can send the combination to them.

    I assume based on their introduction and Your own needs, You would be giving them tasks to complete, with or without photos. These could range from household chores, CBT, feminization, humiliation, or just denial. Any release for them would only be because You approved it.

    I hope this gives You some idea of how it might work for You. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  4. Jack In A Cage
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    Jack In A Cage Member is caged

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    Missy is right, I think if you find someone and you discuss things upfront, each of you will find out if you are right for one another.

    My situation is different than yours as I got to know my keyholder (@Destiny103181) first. We were both relatively new to male chastity but she was a Mistress to females so she very much had that Domme side. As our journey progressed we learned what was fun and what wasn't. She loves control so she would have me send pics of the keys in a clear box that was locked with a plastic, numbered padlock every day. This last time, I bought an Igloohome 3 lockbox, the keys sit in there and she has complete control of unlocking it or not.

    As for things we do, it is just basic things, sometimes she gives me tasks to do or I simply have to ask her for permission to do things, but it is all designed around her control and my denial. We both enjoy going on to a cam site, where she chooses what rooms I can watch with her. It is extremely fun and I wish you luck in finding the right sub Miss.
     
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  5. girliesub
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    girliesub Member

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    You may like to consider offering long distance keyholding. Mistress Lena has a range of padlocks that can be setup and controlled remotely. They can be delivered straight to your slave and you retain complete control over when they are locked and unlocked. She also provides detailed instructions that are clear and easy to follow.

    The locks work really well (I know!) and can be used on chastity devices but they can also be used to lock chains or lockboxes so you can control when your slave gets access to any item (treats, TV remote etc etc)

    I have this lock:

    https://lenaloveslatex.com/product/mistress-lenas-bluetooth-chastity-lock-just-the-lock/
     
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