Just read a thread where a kh had picked out the chastity cage for him. I'm not sure how cool I would be with that, especially if worn most of the time as mine is. I understand some input like coverage or ease of use or even security, but picking out someone cockcage is like choosing someone's darts or eyeglasses. It's going to be apart of you, and has to feel right. It's hard to explain. I can see a wife putting some limits on his options, maybe a 1000 dollar Lori isn't in the family budget. But to pick one out for him seems too much to me. I don't know what does everyone else think? I probably don't count, my money is my own, I keep her posted of my activities but feel no need to check with her for permission, am submissive but not to the extent others are.
I spoke to Elle about buying a new cage about an hour ago. I have a very red, very sore area of skin on my penis caused by a severe leaking episode after my brazen hussy of a Wife teased me in the shower and then denied me an orgasm. She didn't look remotely guilty but I didn't tell her she was sending out any wrong messages as it's not my place as a sub to do so. You can pat me on the back if you like. Anyway, I asked if I was allowed to start looking for a metal device to replace my HTv2 as this is the second time this has happened. Not bad after a year but I don't fancy a third, this is painful and I don't like being uncaged so I can heal. She has given me permission to start researching. I will make a list of options and she will choose the device we get. I won't put any on the list I wouldn't be happy wearing. She wouldn't just pick a cage for me with no input from me.
We communicate about what is/isnt working with the cage I currently wear, so knew what the custom had to be like. Final say was hers, but really there wasnt too many options at this point.
With all of the devices I own I had picked them out on my own. I've always shown mistress pictures of the ones I want and she helps me choose but it's really my decision. There are too many sizing factors that someone who is buying it as a gift could run into and waste a lot of money. I suppose the best option for someone to do this would be a CB6000/s because all the additional sizing parts that come with it. As far as a custom cage goes you'd just be throwing your money away. I remember reading a post by a couple that was on chastity forums. The mistress special ordered a cage from mature metal, they had already purchased one before so the measurements she had were fairly accurate but she added the double ring option and made the cage smaller than his original. Sounded like he was never able to get used to it wasn't comfortable. The options selected couldn't be changed so she threw a good $400 to $500 away. I certainly don't think it should be solely the KH's decision it should definitely be a joint effort or up to the one wearing it. After all it's just a tool to achieve the "correct" mental state of us males, might as well be the right fit
In some ways what is reasonable is probably the best way especially if serious money is involved. However with the low cost stainless no its up to her . She has got to look at it and like it. Also what happened to all this it's her cock stuff ??? Thus it's her choice to do with what she wants . It also is a good thing to get her into the she is in charge frame of mind and reduce the topping from the bottom which some of you boys are very bad at , with demanding this and that. As far as the darts thing start to worry if she starts painting red circles on bits of your body and may be good thing if she chose her own eyeglasses. Remember should have gone to .......! Xx Wendy
My wife told me just the basics like get one that will allow her to feel my penis when it tries to get erect and get one as small as possible to prevent even partial erections. That was it. I ended up getting a Jailbird with a 1 1/4" cage. It touches my penis on all sides when it is flaccid so as soon as I start to grow it pushes the cage away from my body and pulls on my testicles causing slight pain. My penis skin fits through the bars so she can feel it and mostly use her long nails to jab at it.
She has a lot of input, and would probably have even more if I didn't have such sensitivities to seemingly tiny variations, primarily in gap designs. So it's more of a veto power thing. If she really doesn't like it, then I don't bother getting it. If she really really likes it, then I will give it a whirl. At this point we're now waiting on what I hope will be our last device, which incorporates the primary elements that she prefers in terms of looks and amount of access to maneat, and which also has the crazy large gap my vascular system requires. Since we started playing with the cheaper Chinese stuff after happily learning my size is well suited to one of the common dimensions, cage buying has been a much more fun, less stressful experience. And going through a handful of them gave me the knowledge I needed to feel good about dropping real coin on another custom device. This time with all the knowledge we've gained. That evotions device we got is fun for experimentation to because is modular and individual pieces are affordable.
Perhaps my Wife and I are odd, but we looked at devices together. While I understand the idea that the chaste has to wear it... but part of the dynamic of chastity is a release of control to the key holder, so why would selection of the device be any different?
I certainly wouldn't get a device she didn't like, and would give her the yay or nay final decision on if it's something she can see on me long term. And I guess giving up control is different than ignoring what is comfortable. Yes it's her cock, but it would be a moot point because a few weeks in a device that wasn't comfortable and I would be a snarky asshole. Kind of reminds me of a guy picking out a wedding dress for the bride...what? A dress is a dress right? It's white and fits so it should be fine. Oh but YOU have to wear it. And that's only worn for a day. Now imagine wearing it everyday, I guarantee no one else would be picking it out but her.
Whist my wife and I had read the name of various devices in erotic novels and the personal experiences of couples on specialist sites on the net. We had no idea what they looked like or how suitable they would be as I am nowhere near what is considered to be the average size flaccid or erect. We subsequently spent 2 to 3 weeks researching and collecting as much information as possible but decided to visit an specialist adult store in London [also an excuse for a naughty weekend away]. It was a wise decision as we received some expert advice and guidance eventually we jointly selected a cb6000s. However we have recently read various threads and many comments on CM regarding the economically priced small length metal cages that are now available. Whilst I expressed an interest in this design as I would not be able to become erect when aroused which I am able to do when wearing the cb6000s. My wife has always thought that being able to control my erections as well as my orgasms would be extremely erotic, stimulating and a terrific turn on. Unknown to me my wife recently purchased one of these cages, whilst she could only order a base ring marginally larger than the one I utilise with my cb6000s we have been able to experiment and assess it's suitability etc which will now enable us to jointly select a relevant design from a more reputable or known manufacturer. So I suppose I'm guilty of allowing my wife to purchase a device without my agreement however in mitigation it was her own money not mine and I've had some great times testing it out including an incredible week end visiting her Aunt whilst being caged and locked up all of the time.
When it came to the real first purchase of a cage i'd wear for a period in my life my KH let me go off and look for ones on the internet that interested me. We'd had an OTC sex shop metal one we dabbled with that we got sizing from. When I got my list together Miss got the final say. That goes with every physical sex object I desire; clothes, toys, etc. It has allowed her the ability to ask me questions, (some I'm reluctant to answer) but also makes me feel more safe when expressing my sex to her. Which I'm extremely grateful for as she is very open minded. I really think that this whole, 'decision' making process is a case by case basis. We all seem very different. So are our relationships.
My wife chose my first metal device (Gerecke Twister 2). When getting my last device (MM Jailbird) she only said it should be "a lot smaller"!
I looked at them ... then sat down with her and she looked at them ... she picked out a few that she liked ... I told her the good and bad of each of them ... told her the one I preferred ... she agreed it looked the way she wanted it to ... ordered and done. So yes she picked it out ... but it was more like her picking out the color of the car after we both discussed which car would be best for us.
We also looked at and picked out his three cages together, so maybe you are not so odd. We both had things we wanted or were looking for when we picked them. We found out together what worked and didn't then looked together for a new or better device when it was time. We've both decided on which device we want to get next. We decided on a Mature Metal one together, even though I picked the style he had full veto power, he has to wear it. and when spending that much money on a device I want to be sure he is comfortable in it, and I like it. One thing we do is that, since our finances are separate, unlike some might be, I actually order and pay for the device. it makes me feel more involved and I think it has more meaning to him that I purchased it for him.