How long is a reasonable orgasm denial period

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Retired, Jun 29, 2018.

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What is a reasonable time for orgasm denial where it goes from wanting one to cannot take it anymor?

  1. 1-3 weeks

    25 vote(s)
    19.2%
  2. 4-6 weeks

    29 vote(s)
    22.3%
  3. 2 months

    18 vote(s)
    13.8%
  4. 3 months

    21 vote(s)
    16.2%
  5. 4 months

    1 vote(s)
    0.8%
  6. 5 months

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. 6 months

    5 vote(s)
    3.8%
  8. 1 year

    14 vote(s)
    10.8%
  9. Forever

    17 vote(s)
    13.1%
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  1. Retired
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    Retired Locked 6 years Nov 2018

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    By reasonable I mean a realistic period in a loving relationship whether D/s or Vanilla. Denial for a day drives some men crazy. Some can go a month with no problem. Many of us want permanent or a year of denial. I know that is my fantasy and what my wife would actually want. Lucky she loves me despite being into girls more.

    Where is that point where it changes from being able to wait to "I really have to orgasm or I will die" feeling.? :) For me the law of diminishing returns is in force. The longer I wait the less enjoyable my orgasm is. In fact it hurts due to the force of ejaculation. My sweet spot is a month. Those are my most intense an enjoyable orgasms. However I no longer have a say so my wife usually has me wait 2-3 months, depending on her mood or any special occasions like our anniversary or my birthday, etc.

    For us it is Teasing and Denial play with the chastity cage playing a supporting role. It is a challenge for both of us. How long can I go and how long can she deny me before feeling she is putting me in mental or physical distress.

    So what period of time do you think is reasonable so that it goes from just wanting an orgasm to I need an orgasm or my head will explode?
     
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  2. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Active member

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    Really seems like two questions. What is reasonable? And how long until you can’t take it anymore?

    Reasonable could be forever since there is no biological danger from denied forever. But how long until you can’t stand it is widely variable from man to man.
     
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  3. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    Another poll for the boys. Do we really have to work out what they love best??
     
  4. 232-508-173
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    232-508-173 Member

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    For me 4+ weeks is very difficult to do.

    My keyholder usually denies me for one week each times. We did 2 weeks once and it was not to diffucult.
    When She told me I had to do a month, I was very excited but a bit scared. It was very challenging.
     
  5. Retired
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    Retired Locked 6 years Nov 2018

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    Take it anyway you want. Just like to know how long do people think is reasonable for orgasm denial. I have seen posts complaining about 3 days being too much and others saying 1-2 months.
    As you know I do not subscribe to women being superior because they label themselves as Mistresses or are females. In any fetish there is give and take among the couple. Safe words and limits are what determines how far the domme can go. A dominant cannot be dominant unless someone allows them to dominate them; at least legally. Try ordering me around for instance and you will find that you have no dominance over me at all. Your power of dominance and calling the shots are controlled by the sub. Unless BDSM clubs have changed in 40 years, A Mistress would interview a sub and find out if their interests were compatible. In fact, it was bad form to call someone a sub or Mistress without their permission. It is sex play and not a hunt for people with psychological problems to take advantage of. Our best friends in one of the places we lived in for 11 years had a BDSM sex life and yet not once was it apparent during social visits or events. It only came to light for us when they invited us to play with them and it was a surprise since the husband was the stronger personality in the marriage but the opposite during sex. The same applies to us. Sometimes it feels like everyone is trying follow the same fetish that they see and read about on the internet even if it is not sustainable in the long run.

    Since the boys are the one allowing themselves to be locked and controls no matter what they like to pretend, I think it proper that they have a say since so many posts about chastity on the net are wives or girlfriends asking how long they should deny the male. The female can say anything she wants like forever, but if the male does not agree, the male took the power back.

    I just see things different and hope I do not offend anyone by my contrarian view. I have lived as I preach and a very good 46 years of marriage as fetishist is the result. It may not be for everyone but I do sense that many here are more realistic about fetishes in real life when you have kids and family responsibilities. Wearing a maid's outfit wearing a chastity cage on your knees scrubbing the floor every day may be sexual exciting but how many do you think actually do that in a loving marriage with kids and a good job? We all tend to extrapolate to the rest of the world, what we feel and see. I obviously do it and do not really care if anyone believes me. I am retired, have money to do whatever I want in life and still have an active fetish sex life at 67 in love with two women and only a few medical problems that are psychological and almost gone now. I have said this before. When I allowed women free reign over me it was because I was suffering from depression. Once I went on meds my interest in turning over all control to a Mistress went away and after that all of our fetish play were scenes we designed just like you do when you visit a pro domme. If you go to a pro wanting to be pegged, she is not going to whip you raw instead. it is always a two way street but some like think they have all the power while other like to think that they have none.

    I was going to refrain from discussing things like this but I posted a simple poll with no thought of bending a Mistress out of shape since it involved input from men on a subject that more men are interested in than women, so I figured I would state my case one last time and will not do so again. I am not here to argue with people or upset anyone. I just express my opinion like everyone else. I stand by mine because they have worked for longer than most of you are alive. Nothing beats success like success and my opinions are informed from real life experiences and not knowledge gained by watching porn.

    Now I will have a drink to celebrate my first day of retirement and decide how to spend that bonus I got from my company to allow me to travel the world. Maybe I will even go to the UK for a sound spanking. I think I probably need one. :) Always a pleasure to present a dissenting viewpoint. Makes the world interesting. W3 do not want a world where women walk the street with naked men on leashes wearing chastity devices or do we. :)
     
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  6. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I only responded with the 6 week one because that’s as long as I have been locked.

    I will say that at the time I really wanted out, but at the same time a few minutes after some heavy play and I calmed down, I would have been ok with stopping. I of course didn’t say no but feel confident I would continue to be just fine.

    For me the 2 week mark seems to be my peak and I plateau out.
     
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  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    For as long as the woman decides. Her property, her choice. As soon as that compact is made between Domme and sub, all decision -making rights are passed entirely to her.
     
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  8. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    I couldn't see the option for "as long as she decides". In our relationship that would be the only definition of what is reasonable!
     
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  9. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Active member

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    I’m just here to read the arguments and bickering. It’s more interesting than my own boring life.
     
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  10. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Active member

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    I agree @Mistress B! While I work at being the best Sub I can be, I have learnt that it does not matter how long I go, that is My Loves decision and only Hers. I am forbidden to beg or complain.
    The longest She has denied me (since I have been keeping track) is 19 days, however there have been times where it has been only 3 days.
    Correct me if I'm wrong but as an obedient Sub, should not my release be determined by my Dom, is that not the point of chastity and obedience?
     
  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Actually wearing a chastity cage or being chaste does not have to be about any of those things. Many use it as extended fore play, a tool to curb impulses, or just plain old bondage. Many do make it about her being in charge, servitude, superiority, yada yada yada. So the “point” varies for many. We share a common activity, but we are diverse and complicated.

    Thank goodness the diversity includes more than just the “its up to her so don’t have an opinion-I am an inferior male so I remained locked and have no say-and the I don’t have a choice she can force me to stay locked”.
     
  12. Truly Tasty
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    Truly Tasty Active member

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    Good point!
     
  13. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    The longer that your locked and under someone else control the longer the time between releases can be. My Mistress has been hinting that she may never allow me another orgasm outside of my cage. So denial can be forever. I hope not but It’s out of my Hands.
     
  14. nrbill
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    nrbill Active member

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    With the right keyholder, denied forever is possible for me. However, I really enjoy being locked, ALOT! I don't think it's for everybody. I'm pussy-free and only allowed 1 cum once every 2 months, all subject to my wife's whim's.
     
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  15. lockedinnashville
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    lockedinnashville locked by wife

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    I can go for a long time if I'm ruined weekly. I haven't had an orgasm in 59 days now. But I get ruined multiple times about once a week or whenever I make her cum. She says I might be allowed to cum August 9th, my birthday, but I know she won't. If I do she said it will be Christmas before my next one. Before the 59 days I only went about 35 days at the most but usually every 2 weeks with a full orgasm. I loved being ruined til I can't keep it up then being told to lock it back up! For the last 7 years I have always had to clean up my cum, ruined or not!
     
  16. lockedinnashville
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    lockedinnashville locked by wife

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    I told my wife I don't deserve to cum on my birthday. And I don't deserve to feel her pussy. I told her that I only deserve to stay locked and NEVER have a full orgasm again. For right now that's how I feel. It's like the tease and denial never ends and I'm always eager to lick and please her. Myick doesn't make her cum so she shouldn't make me cum. I deserve ruined orgasms because I get so close to orgasm and then I'm let down, just like my dick let's her down. I wish she would cuckold me.
     
  17. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    I think prostate health needs to be factored into the equation as well. That’s not to say that most orgasms can be ruined!
     
  18. Steviepie
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    Steviepie Being developed for mental submission to Ms. Lucy

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    Thank you Mistress for reminding us about focus and priorities.
     
  19. Xileh
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    Xileh Member

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    It’s pretty much up to the lady that has my key. We’ve gone three days to over two weeks. A funny thing happened. As soon as I was locked, she started wanting me unlocked a lot. I just go with the flow. It’s a heck of a lot of fun no matter what she does.
     
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  20. young88
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    young88 Member

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    Simple answer is as long as your key holder wishes.
     
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  21. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Part of me is surprised, and part f me isn’t, that the original poll wasn’t really answered. I have seen many respond about how long their kh keeps them locked, or the whenever she unlocks me...but I thought the original post was more about how long it takes to get to “I need to cum” or desperately seeking relief.

    I was actually curious, because I know there are many here that have gone a very long time, and I just so happen have never been tested to my limits. I mentioned I seem to plateau around the 2 week mark, but since I haven’t been locked more than 6 weeks, I really don’t know if my plateau would hold.
     
  22. KMW’s
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    KMW’s New member

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    I'm guessing we're rather atypical. Before kids it would usually be multiple times a day. Now it is typically once every day, but, when the opportunity presents itself because the kids are away, we can go at it a lot more. So when I wait for more than two days I'm crawling the walls. Our record is a little under one hundred hours.

    I have no idea what is reasonable here, but when we are in the chastity mood, I like it best when we wait a couple of days. She likes to wait less unless I basically ask her to make me wait. We're going to try for a little longer before summer is up, but who knows what will happen.
     
  23. Xileh
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    Xileh Member

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    Nicoftime - I agree that we haven’t directly answered the question. It may be due to lack of control over the experiment due to the variability of the keyholders.

    I can say, I start really feeling the frustration at 3-4 days. Things settle down a little then I get pretty intensely nutso (technical Chastity term) at about 15 days. She hasn’t let me go longer yet.
     
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  24. KsBoy71
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    I went with 3 months, seems like a stretch and it is...ive been locked and denied that long a few times and the first time was difficult to get thru. I argued the second or third time that it had been 3 months and my then fiance added three more days to "make sure". During those times I was still able to "have sex" by using my strap on with her. If I were to really say its an individual decision usually best made by those that hold the key.
     
  25. imasissytoo
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    imasissytoo Member

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    Hey vinny--Thought you did not like Woman in charge of sites?? What made you come back??
     
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