How it started

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Val Watanabe, Oct 17, 2021.

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  1. Val Watanabe
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    Val Watanabe Active member

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    How it started

    As an adolescent i noticed my penis was small compared to other kids but really didn’t give it much thought nor to my sneaking into my mother’s closet to wear her pantyhose and panties when my parents left for the evening. I remember i loved the feeling of wearing her pantyhose and would sneak out of the house wearing only the pantyhose sneaking around the neighborhood hiding behind cars feeling the rush and excitement of being a naughty little kid.

    I eventually grew out of that and didn’t have another sissy like experience until college. While attending a party at my friends home he slipped me a quaalude were i woke up naked in a haze sideways on a bed with my head hanging off the edge and my legs tied back and wide open from my ankles. It was hard to breathe and i was hurting as i realized i was surrounded by a group of guys that were raping me. i had a cock down my throat and another in my ass as they said “the faggot is awake, hey bitch you suck cock good!” As each guy was cuming and my mouth was freed momentarily i pleaded for them to stop only to be shown a knife and was told if i wasn’t going to suck and fuck like a girl, they’d make me one for real. Forcing another quaalude down my throat with another cock i fell into a haze of sensations of cock’s sliding down my cum soaked throat and ass through a background of laughter.

    Waking up naked and alone in the morning i found my clothes, dressed and leaving the bedroom noticed my friend and his friends eating breakfast and without saying anything left and puked cum several blocks from the house. Trying to deny what happened and sick to my stomach i had sucked cock i drove home traumatized. Several days later my friend called calling me faggot and told to immediately come to his house. Traumatized again and in a stupor i arrived at my friends home greeted by the same group who raped me.

    Greeted as “faggot” as i walked in dozens of pictures of me sucking cock and taking it up my ass were spread out on a large dinning room table. Told to strip when i pleaded to leave me alone Chris bitched slapped me to the ground saying “faggot, we own you and you’ll do as your told, understand?” With tear filled eyes i asked why and again to please leave me alone Chris back handed me again yelling “strip faggot.” Not wanting anymore i slowly stripped and was forced into a large walk-in shower and told to shave all my body hair off including my balls, scrotum, and ass or now known as my boi pussy.

    Chris and his friends grew up in Beverly Hills and money is not an issue. Pulled from the shower and handed my clothes i was lead to a huge fireplace with a raging fire and told to throw my clothes in it. Pleading for them to stop i was slapped this time by Jake and forced to toss my clothes into the fire place. After watching my clothes burn i was shown several girly outfits with dozens of thongs, bras, high heel (stilettos), wigs and dildos. “Do you like your new clothes faggot?” with Chris telling me to be thankful for them or else. Thanking them for my new clothes i was ordered to put an outfit on which was a lacy red bra, thong, garters with red stockings and matching 5 inch stilettos and wig. Forced to thank Chris and his six friends with my mouth i again was sick to my stomach for being a faggot. Taking the last load down my throat my outfits were put into a backpack and i was rushed out of the house onto the large driveway where my car was moved down the street where i was forced to walk several hundred yards to my car carrying my backpack and outfits. i was forced to service Chris and his friends throughout college for several years and after graduation went to work as a junior investment broker working hard and pushing my college experiences out of my mind.

    Wanting to prove i wasn’t gay or bi i dated lots of pretty women and over the years found myself having problems pleasing them. When a girl that i loved deeply cheated on me with a client she crushed me with the client and told me i was a failure as a man and she need a real man. Confronting her and my client she emasculated me by taking his massive cock out and said if i love her to prove it and see and taste a real man’s cock. With tear filled eyes i let Byron fuck my face and choke me with his cum. Laughing my ex-girlfriend said i was a fucking pathetic faggot and would have to learn to suck cock if i wanted her in my life. Crying i said I’d learn and they moved me into a guest room in Byron’s massive Malibu beach house where i lived on weekends. Emasculated and feminized i became their sissy faggot maid on weekends often serving as a sissy hostess at parties where i also was the entertainment where i learned i was chattel and used by dozens of their friends over the next year in degrading and emasculating ways. Dealing with a broken heart, conflicts of my identity and thinking of suicide i stopped living there.

    i spent years denying my feminization desires and finally started dressing for myself, then graduating to meeting other cross-dressers and clubbing. After more than a decade of that it wasn’t enough until i started dating Alpha Dominants who started my forced feminization and sissification which has lead me down a sometimes painful path. Accepting my true essence has been at many times a horribly frightening experience and one thankfully Alpha’s like Leon and a few others have understood.
     
  2. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    it is a terrible story and you should have send all to jail.
    Hopefully you are alive and with us now, have all my compassion for what you endure.
     
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  3. Nicole Smith
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    Nicole Smith Florida Trans Girl. Verified on Fetlife.

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    You’re very pretty and deserve to be treated better.
     
  4. Val Watanabe
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    Val Watanabe Active member

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    Thank you for your compassion. i did try and deny the experience for years and actually became involved in the fetish community as a male dominant only to be drawn back to my true essence and path.
     
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  5. Val Watanabe
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    Val Watanabe Active member

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    Thank you for your kind words, i exist to serve as my true essence now.
     
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  6. sylvana chastity
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    sylvana chastity just Syl

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    Sometimes I really feel like a few sissies should go out and kick some ass! :cool::strong:

    What a horrible time you have gone through - and that makes it even more remarkable to see in what an almost calm way you are able to talk about it now. Glad you survived it and you seem to finally having found your place (doesn't sound like very good english, but i hope you know what i mean).
    Hugs
    Syl
     
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  7. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Locked With Love, Serving with Humility

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    My heart goes out to you. I hope you have found happiness and safety. What happened to you could happen to any of us.
     
  8. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Hope you find the right path for you. Good luck and enjoy.
     
  9. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    Sissies are an evolutionary end for some submissive men, and I greatly respect them and their journey. Yours sounds remarkably cruel and harsh, and everyone deserves much better. It seems hard to not take on life-long scars and damage from such experiences. Hopefully you are in a safe, and protected and loved, place now.
     
  10. Val Watanabe
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    Val Watanabe Active member

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    It happened a long time ago and back then it did take me many years to admit it even happened. Now after so many twists and turns along my path it is one of many thresholds and passages i've crossed shaping me and getting me to a point of self-acceptance.
     
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  11. Val Watanabe
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    Val Watanabe Active member

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    i wouldn't say i'm in a "loved" place, rather a worthy Alpha dominant that simply owns me.
     
  12. Bronco
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    Bronco Member

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    With all that you went through you are one strong individual my hat goes off to you . As strong as you are I believe you own you not nobody else.
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    I’m pleased you have got over all of that and found what makes you happy. It was brave if you to share.
     
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