The last time that my wife and I attempted to include chastity in our relationship, things started out as expected; with trepidation, and lack of understanding. I told her that I felt like I was addicted to porn and masturbation and that it was affecting my relationship with her. She agreed that I could include honor system chastity, and after a few months I convinced her that we could try FLR and include a device in my practice. She would not participate in keyholding and tolerated my use of chastity, but as the months went on her views on keyholding and active participation in my chastity brought an abrupt end to our play. She felt that it was, “Against my basic human rights to freedom.” And that she refused to be anything but, “Real”. We both agreed that there was a layer that FLR brought to our relationship that we both enjoyed very much. We both became much closer, she was getting a lot of attention in the form of back rubs and foot rubs, but found that talking about my progress was too much for her to commit to. This was due largely in part to her work load and capacity for home life decreasing. About a year has passed and I have played with my device on again and off again, but during the holiday season I found that I had put on a little weight. I experienced, for the first time in 20 years having to purchase larger pants… This may not sound like a big deal, but she was also beginning to make comments about how I was putting on weight and that I wasn’t looking like she is used to me looking. I was beginning to take it personally… Couple this with the fact that our intimacy had reduced in the last few months and the recipe for depression had began to set in. My wife had given me a list of things to complete during the week. I didn’t do any of it Monday, and that day (Tuesday) was starting out much the same. I had just finished binge watching all of the shows from my favorite Youtuber, while eating 6 Almond Roca that came from a huge tin container that my wife had bought me for Christmas, when I thought to myself… “I really need to make better choices.” I looked at the wrapper in my hand and said out loud into the empty room in which I sat, “These are very tasty, but this is not a good choice. I need to do something so that I do not make this choice again.” I thought for a moment, and decided that I would wear my chastity device that day to remind me that I should not be wasting my time, and that I should make better food choices for making bad choices that day. Then I looked at the pile of wrappers… I picked them up and thumbed through them…I felt pretty bad about what I had done and thought, “If someone were holding my key, what would they say about this? The answer came immediately… I said out loud, “One day for each wrapper.” That’s not too bad. I mean I would learn my lesson and hopefully get back on track. Later that day I was cleaning the kitchen and came across a box of chocolates. My wife had previously asked me to eat them so that she wouldn’t. She has been trying to lose weight and these were a gift that she told me to take away from her. I picked up the box and noticed that there were only 5 left. “I can finish these off and throw away the box! Then she doesn’t have to worry about these pesky chocolates anymore!” As I finished the last chocolate, I realized that I was making bad choices for myself… And that I needed to add a day for each chocolate. Ugh… Hmmm… 11 days I had racked up in a matter of moments… Hmmm… This was starting to become less than Ideal. That evening, I was making roasted chicken. The kids had been driving me nuts. I got their homework out and had them working on it, but every time I turned around they were out of their seats and farting around with toys. I poured myself nice glass of red wine (Manage e Tois California Red) As I put the glass to my lips I realized… This is a bad choice. I thought, “Well, I’ll just drink this glass and add a day to my chastity.” Then I thought about how today I would have racked up 12 days in chastity. What would tomorrow bring… I contemplated how to get the wine back into the bottle, as I had not yet drank any and decided to put plastic wrap over it and save it for another occasion… If I was not careful my “Internal Dominatrix Keyholder” would have me- never getting out of my device. I could hear the voice in my head, “Go ahead, and drink that glass of wine. It’s just one day. It’s not such a big deal.” Soon I would have a year in chastity at the cost of eating some deserts and having a few drinks… The following days, unbeknownst to my wife, I spent locked and very productive. I stayed away from Youtube, anything sweet. I drank water with every meal (except breakfast where I get to have orange juice.) She noticed how much work I had been getting done and made some nice comments. I was lucky enough to spend two evenings in a row in the car with her running errands while the kids stayed home playing computer games. The first night I just listened. I sympathized, I repeated her issues to let her know that I was listening. I reflected her emotions and did my best to be a good husband. I did tell her that I had noticed that I wasn’t taking care of myself and that I was trying to do better. The second night was much the same. I listened, sympathized and was generally just being a good husband. On the way home I repeated that I had been feeling bad about myself and that I hoped that she noticed the difference. “I’ve been locked up until 8 pm every night for the last few nights. I take it off so that I can tuck the kids in. I’ve been trying to be a better me, and I’m using this to help curb some of my bad habits. In fact I have racked up 11 days from eating candy, so I won’t be doing that again for a while. I don’t expect you to participate, but if you want me to remove it or leave it on for any reason I’ll do whatever you want.” “Jeez, that’s a long stretch. 11 days is a long time.” She said. “Well, at least it sounds like you are doing it for the right reasons.” Instantly I swelled up in my cage… We spent a lot of good snuggly time together on the couch after dinner. It came time to head to bed. I tucked the kids in and said I was hoping that we be a little more intimate. “Did you take it off?” She said with a sly smile? “Yes, it’s after 8pm. But if you want I’ll put it back on. I really just want to go down on you.” “No, you don’t have to put it on. But let’s watch some shows together for a bit.” So we snuggled and watched shows for a while, then made love. My “O” was a little painful from either not being used to having such a full prostate or lack of muscular use. It was still very awesome and I am excited about this week of chastity that just started. Now to decide whether to drink that glass of wine or not…
If you really want to lose the weight, make a plan and ask for her help. 30 min minimum of exercise a day with at least 3 days lifting weights in the gym. Mistress knows if I miss a workout and not a punishment I want to get!
We tried using chastity for me to loose weight last year. I'm now heavier than when we started a year ago. Maybe my wife and I have to try harder?
Just because it didn't work last year. Doesn't mean it won't this time The key is to find something you enjoy doing. Be it swimming, running, walking, riding a bike. Then it doesn't seem like hard work. Good luck.
I lost quite a bit of weight over the past 6-7 months by following these simple rules: - no snacking. If I'm hungry I drink water or eat an apple. If I don't want an apple then I'm not hungry. - eating till I'm not hungry. Even if I'm not full afterwards. - exercising every day. I don't use lifts at work, only stairs. When I have 10-15 minutes free I go up and down the stairs near my office. 5 up-and-down rounds are 1,000 steps. And I walk when I can instead of taking a bus. When I lost enough to start falling out of my existing work clothes I bought a new 'wardrobe' and changed the way I dressed. This keeps me motivated to continue on the above plan because it's easy to slide back into bad habits once you've lost enough to make a difference. And I don't weigh myself every day because I don't need the pressure. I don't punish myself for, say, eating a cookie - I adjust what I do next: say, adding another up-and-down round on the stairs. Positive reinforcement works better for me than punishment. Chastity helps me too - as my husband's KH, I want to look good so I'm motivated to continue keeping myself in good shape. Early on, it helped keeping an eating journal - this way, I could see what I ate during the week and where things needed to be cut. But I don't do that anymore. In short, set yourself some short-term and mid-term goals, make a plan, choose the reinforcement that works for you (you might try several), and go for it. Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. And if you need to share please do - we're all here to help.
We’ve tried and failed in the past. What really makes the difference is her making sure daily that I’m working out and not just sitting on the couch all day if I’m not at work. I don’t eat fast food or sugary drinks or junk food either.
I did great over the weekend. We even found time to be intimate. Since she wasn't the one in charge of the chastity she didn't seem to mind because I had removed all of the pressure that she felt before. She said, "Ok, lets snuggle and watch some TV." When it came time to get naked she said, "Do you need to take it off?" I said, "Nope, it's after 8 pm. I take it off so that I can tuck the kids in." She said, "Good. We aren't going to get anywhere with those underwear on." It was a good time...
Thanks @BR_Saiph , I do feel a little like a guy who has a secret mistress though... That fact adds it's own additional layer of excitement to the situation. The mistress in my mind walks behind me watching me pick up the cookie... Then says... "Go ahead, eat it. It's just one more day...." then I think about how I have now racked up 10 more days and I put the cookie down... I'm actually in great shape... I just developed a bad habit over the holidays. The fact that my wife is tolerating the chastity is awesome. It may sound funny, but I actually enjoyed letting myself out for a day before I... Ate 6 more Almond Roca, drank the glass of wine, ate 2 lunch sized bags of chips and a chocolate... All in one day... Then my mind was like (imagine a Jessica Rabbit type voice) "It's only 10 days. I'd do anything to see you make it 11." Yeah... You and me both Ms. imaginary lady in my head... You and me both... Now I'm stuck again in chastity through the weekend through the next week and through the weekend after that.... Hmmm... I either am doing this because I like it or because I am out of my mind... That's the real trick for a Keyholder though isn't it? What are we (the locked) willing to trade in pleasure for more time in the cage or some other punishment. It's a very powerful thought. I wasn't even thinking about chastity while I ate the candy... I only noticed it when I was picking up the wrappers... Then counting them... Then telling myself... I hope you know how much that cost you...
There are so many schemes for losing weight and most of them involve trying to get around what we really know is necessary; eat less calories and exercise. And it’s so easy to procrastinate so that you can move the unpleasantness until tomorrow but you MUST get into the mindset that today is the only day that matters. You have to work out today. You have to avoid junk today and eat healthy foods in healthy portion sizes TODAY. I force myself to go to the gym. I made an agreement with myself that if I’m really not feeling it today that I will do a light workout. Once I start, I usually push myself pretty hard. On bike ride days, I’m required to ride to the end of the street but once I get going I always get a brisk 30 min ride. I say this as a chronic procrastinator who hates working out and loves eating. I just turned 50 and the doctor said my fasting labs and A1C said I finally hit the threshold of type two diabetes. He prescribed me metformin and sent me on my way. Since I last saw him I’ve lost 30lbs and vastly improved my energy, sleep, breathing and health. I don’t even mind being on top for sex anymore because it was just too much work 30 lbs ago. So if you really want your KH to help you lose weight, you both have to accept that TODAY is the only day that matters for exercise and eating right. I weigh every morning and it can fluctuate a few lbs to water but it keeps me motivated seeing it creep down almost daily. We record the weight on Saturday morning. Without the daily accountability, I could not do it because eating right and exercise is always tomorrow.
Fascinating. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad it's (sort of) working for you, and good job on setting achievable goals too. Also, not being too hard on yourself when you slip up. This kind of positive self-awareness will pay dividends in the long run. The fact that your wife is able to tolerate, maybe even enjoy, your efforts is just the icing on the cake. You, sir, are inspirational. Whatever happens next, you have laid positive foundations.
Weight loss and chastity, we did this a few years ago. I need to lose 20 lbs and mostly at my suggestion, I agreed to be locked up and weigh in once a week on the weekend. I would excercise and watch what I ate during the week. If I lost at least 1 lb, I was let out for sex or "play". If I didn't lose anything or gained, I was locked until the next weekend. She went along with it and I can tell you, chastity is great motivator. I lost the 20lbs in about 3 months. There were weeks I didn't lose, even had two weeks in row a couple of times, but it was a fun game to play to lose weight!