How I began my journey in chastity lockup

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  1. Andy67
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    First and foremost, my wife and I were never interested in kink or any form of BDSM. However, I did indulge my fetish of women's lingerie by wearing panties for the last 15 years. A few years ago, I expanded my fetish to include HWLLPG's and waist cinchers. Although my wife wasn't a fan of my fetish, she did learn to accept it, and seemed to like the look and feel of my nylon encased equipment.

    Several years ago, my wife was going through menopause, and as a result, our intimacy and sex life diminished greatly. I had been a twice daily masturbator since I was 15, but as her sex drive diminished during menopause, my self-pleasuring activities became the sole source of my sexual gratification.

    After menopause, my wife began to regain her sex drive. Unfortunately, my masturbatory habits had already seriously affected my ability to become aroused by my wife, as well as affecting my ability to achieve and maintain an erection when in bed with her. Oddly enough, I never had a problem with achieving or maintaining when I took matters into my own hands.

    After three successive and poor performances in bed with her (over the course of a few months), I began to avoid sexual contact with my wife, as I dreaded my next embarrassing and unsatisfactory performance. I knew my wife was frustrated, upset, and unsatisfied, but she never let on, and never once blamed me for not being able to fulfill my duties as her husband and lover. Deep down, I began to realize that she blamed herself for not being able to arouse me, most likely thinking that I no longer found her as beautiful, sexy, and arousing as I once did. It broke my heart knowing she was assuming full responsibility for our problems with intimacy, when in fact I knew that I was solely responsible for my poor bedroom performance and our situation. I have never felt more embarrassed or ashamed of myself in my entire life. I knew something had to change, but what and how?

    I contemplated the situation for a few months. I came to the realization that I not only had to quit masturbating once and for all, I also had to place my wife's sexual satisfaction before my own, and make her sexual satisfaction a priority in our relationship. But having had this habit of mine for the last 35 years of my life, how could I possibly have any success in stopping forever? I felt I had no chance of success unless I could replace it with a new, good habit. I prayed to God that a solution to my problem would present itself.

    A few weeks later, I awoke in the middle of the night, like you do after having a vivid dream. Only it wasn't a dream; in what seemed like an instant, an idea came to me. It was simply an idea, a concept, a complete thought.
    It took me a couple weeks to wrap my head around what I had experienced; something had inspired me to incorporate chastity into my life. A week later, I came to understand that chastity in my life would have to come in the form of a male chastity device. Now I was faced with the insurmountable task of trying to explain all of this to my wife without her thinking I've completely lost my mind.

    I realized that that only time I could possibly bring up such a sensitive subject was after what could be considered the best sex we had ever had together. I knew that for this to happen, I would have to relearn the true meaning of intimacy between a man and woman if I was going to have a chance in hell of having an above average performance.

    I thought about what it was like when we were first dating and after we were first married. The hand-holding, holding the door for her, opening her car door, as well as frequent kissing, French kissing, caressing her cheek, neck, hips, waist, and breasts while kissing, all of which always aroused both of us. Most of the time this type of contact didn't necessarily lead to sex. What it did, however, was increase our yearning for each other in anticipation of our next sexual encounter.

    I then spent the next week or so reintroducing these things back into our relationship to rekindle our intimacy. The next time I planted a serious, passionate kiss on her (completely out of the blue), she responded really well, which drove me to quite an impressive erection. She said, "My, aren't we affectionate tonight!", to which I responded that I realized " . . . I really missed that part of our relationship and felt it was something that we needed to do more regularly". She agreed.

    A few days later was Saturday, and we had a nice dinner out, complete with a few cocktails. She hinted around after dinner that she "might want to have some fun" when we got home, and was wondering if I thought I might be interested. As she said this, she casually brushed her hand across my lap to check my state of arousal; I was halfway there. What she was really asking me was whether I thought I could "achieve and maintain". I told her I'd give it my best shot.

    When we arrived home, we barely got in the door when the passionate kissing began, and her groping of my crotch firmly reassured her I was ready to go. I quickly readied myself in the bathroom (mouthwash, cologne, etc.) and headed for the bedroom. When she followed a few minutes later, the bedroom was dark, save for a few candles burning, and soft music was playing. I took things slower than I think I had in years, and I managed to fully satisfy her twice before I allowed myself penetrate her and finish the deed.

    In the afterglow as we layed there together, I told her that there was something important that we needed to discuss. I began very slowly, telling her about my frequency of masturbation and that I realized that I was solely responsible for my previous history of poor performance and lack of arousal. She tried to reassure me that she had some ownership of our problems, but I persisted until she began to understand that there were some very real negative effects of frequent masturbation where intimacy and performance was concerned. I explained to her that I found a solution that would help me to stop masturbating for good, allow me to refocus my sexual energy on her, place her in charge of my orgasms (only after she was satisfied), and add some spice to our love-making.

    I then said to her, "I can't even believe I'm saying this. I want to buy myself a male chastity device." Her reaction was less than favorable, but she allowed me to finish what I had to say. I continued, "I realize what kind of imagery this conjures up, like some God-awful medieval contraption, but this isn't what this is about. I know this sort of thing is common in BDSM, but this is not what this is about. I'm talking about a device that is all about fit, form, and function. The device I'm interested is a plastic cage that fits snugly around the penis and locks onto a ring that's situated behind the scrotum. Because it's locked, it's designed to prevent masturbation. It's also designed to minimize any sort of stimulation of the penis, which in time, will re-sensitize it, allowing me to have bigger, harder erections. Because I won't be able to expend my sexual energy on my own, I'll be able to refocus my sexual energy on you, ensuring that we'll be more intimate and that you'll be thoroughly sexually satisfied. And, your satisfaction takes precedence over mine, where I'll make sure I don't orgasm until you've had as many as you want. Finally, you've got to admit, this would certainly spice things up in the bedroom."

    She was still quite upset and said it was going to take some time to come to terms with everything I had told her. I said that there were plenty of websites and books that covered this sort of thing and that I would share some internet links and a Kindle book that would address her concerns from the female perspective. I asked her to stick with the links I shared with her to make sure she didn't stumble across some hardcore BDSM site that would have certainly freaked her out. I also asked that she didn't search for photos of any of these devices online so as to not give her a disturbing visual that may haunt her. Finally, I asked her to take some time to come to terms with all of this, that I would gladly answer any questions she may have, and that I would not pressure her in any way. How we would proceed would be entirely up to her.

    About a week later, I resent the internet links to her via text message. A couple days later, I asked if she had read anything; she said she hadn't. I reassured her that these links would help her understand and come to terms with the situation much faster. A week after that, she finally began to ask me some questions. At last: progress. After a half hour of discussion, I asked her if she wanted to see some photos of the device (a CB-6000S). She said that it didn't look so bad. Then I showed her a photo of one being worn. Again, she didn't think it looked too bad, and seemed kind of intrigued. Finally, I asked her what she thought of my proposal to be a caged male; she said that she wanted to do whatever it would take to make me happy. Thanks to my loving, caring, understanding, and accepting wife, I ordered the CB-6000S and began my chastity journey a few days later.
     
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  2. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    It seems you have managed to work things out for both of you, congratulations.
     
  3. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    sounds like she is on board. congratulations and I hope it works out well for you both.
     
  4. Andy67
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    Thanks for the encouragement and support. After I received my CB-6000S last week, I waited until after dinner when we had some time together when we could sit and talk. I opened the package and we carefully examined the contents. She seemed even more receptive to the whole idea of chastity when she realized that this device was small enough to go undetected when worn in public and was at the same time, a fairly elegant design.

    That first evening it was so comfortable, I chose to try sleeping with it on. After nine hours of wear, I removed it in the morning to shower and head off to work; I could hardly wait to get home to put it on again. Wore it 12 hours for my next session. Since the third day, I've been wearing it 24 hrs a day, removing it only for cleaning.

    My wife is totally accepting of my new equipment, and most definitely enjoyed our most recent love making session where once again, I ensured that she was totally satisfied before I was granted release. She asks occasionally how I'm adjusting to wearing it, and will playfully grasp at my crotch while asking so. I'd say that we're on the right track to making this a rewarding experience for the two of us.
     
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  5. guest 2942
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    do you plan on handing over the keys to your wife at some point? Have you discussed that?
     
  6. Andy67
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    Yes, I'm planning on handing over the keys in the near future. As you read in my first post, I need to break my 35 year old habit; not an easy thing to do. I was first locked last Monday, was 24/7 since Wednesday, and have managed to limit my self pleasure to once a day (I still have the keys). BTW, I did ask my wife to close the lock the very first time, which she did without any negative reaction. I recently told her I would teach her how to lock me up and her expression indicated that she's obviously anxious to try it. Then I told her I still get aroused and somewhat erect when putting the device on and if I let her do it, I'll be so hard she'll have to finish me off before she can cage me. That's when she really started grinning; maybe I'll have to teach her sooner than later.

    Anyway, this week I'm planning on further limiting myself to once every other day, and by the New Year, I want to stop masturbating for good. We're having dinner at one of the finer restaurants downtown on New Year's Eve, and I'm planning on handing over the keys after we make love that evening. I'm fairly certain she won't have a problem being my keyholder as she has certainly recognized that our intimacy for the last month has been phenomenal. I remind her occasionally that my focus for 2018 is to take our intimacy and love-making to a level beyond where we were when first married, and to a level she hadn't thought possible for a couple of 50 year olds. She even remarked after our last love-making session that she couldn't believe sex could get so much better with age. I'm so looking forward to making our marriage the best it's ever been.
     
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  7. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    wow, sounds great. Sounds like you have a great plan moving forward.
     
  8. Andy67
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    For many years of our marriage, one of my wife's primary objectives of our love-making was to climax in simultaneous orgasm. I explained to her about a month ago that while this is an incredible experience, it can be very difficult to achieve on a regular basis; the male and female bodies are wired so differently that time from initial arousal to orgasm varies greatly. I've since been reassuring her that it's perfectly OK for her to orgasm without me, and that nothing could make me happier than if she would allow me to bring her to multiple orgasms before she unlocks me and permits release. Over the last several love-making sessions we've had, she's starting to realize how much pleasure it brings me to be able to manipulate her pleasure zones and watch her body spasm in ecstasy, all without having intercourse.

    On Christmas Eve, my wife and I had invited another couple to join us for a
    nice, quiet dinner at our home. My wife and I both had a couple of stiff cocktails, helping to get us thoroughly relaxed. After our dinner guests left for the evening, we killed the lights in our living room except for the lights on the tree, the Leg Lamp on the end table, and A Christmas Story movie that was on tv.

    After we undressed each other and I helped her get comfortable on a few blankets on the floor, I went to the kitchen and returned with a cocktail glass full of ice cubes. My wife said, "What are those for?" I said, "Just you wait and see." After our usual methods of foreplay, I began teasing her all over with the cubes and followed with warm, wet kisses. The pace of her breathing varied from steady to erratic, combined with her soft moans, was a clear indication to me that she was really enjoying the sensation. After I was sure she was satisfied, she caressed my caged member and said that "maybe it's time to let him out for some fun".

    To this point, she has never removed my CB-6000S. This time, I asked her to do it and that I'd teach her how. She seemed to enjoy the intimacy of the act and was very gentle, making sure that she didn't hurt me in any way. I told her that before long, I'd teach her how to install it, but that there was a good chance that I'd get hard in the process. She just said if we had to, we'd take care of it (wink, wink).

    The intercourse that followed was terrific; she's starting to realize how intense my erections and orgasms are since I started wearing my cage. After I orgasmed, I kissed her and thanked her for allowing my release. As I've done after our last few sessions, I lay down beside her, rest my head on her tummy, and gently caress her thighs, abdomen, and pussy, all the while she strokes my hair, cheek, and neck. I'm slowly coming to realize that it is during this time that I've never felt happier and could live in that moment forever. Finally, I confided in her that over the last week, I've cut my masturbating down to once a day, that over the next week I'd cut down to once every other day, and told her that it wouldn't be long until she was in charge of and owner of my keys. She smiled, possibly contemplating the significance, but most likely finally realizing my total love and devotion to her.

    "And all was right with the world."
     
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  9. Andy67
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    Thanks for the encouragement. I'm definitely working on that as a goal.

    I think she's starting to realize that I'm more adventurous than I had ever been before, knows that I've been reading about all the different ways I can pleasure her to orgasm, and the real satisfaction I get in doing so.

    I surprised her yesterday morning by joining her in the shower, which I hadn't done in years. I slowly worked my way down her breasts and tummy (with bare hands), stopping just above her pussy. I then ever so gently shampooed her pubes and edged her to greater arousal before moving into an embrace to wash her back. I slowly massaged her glutes and began sliding my fingers between her cheeks.

    In the past, what I did next would have freaked her out, but I slowly moved my fingers forward and began to circle and massage her rosebud. Surprisingly, she allowed me and really got into it and let me slowly work my first digit inside. The fact that most people would normally be so self conscious and would normally consider this a really embarrassing situation shows me that she now recognizes that this can be a sensual, erotic act based on total trust and love.

    I then worked my way back to her pussy and rubbed her clit until she orgasmed. Although I was certainly aroused, I was caged the entire time so I never had an orgasm. In effect, I guess I was already denied orgasm, but she didn't actually deny me; I simply made sure the key wasn't readily accessible.

    I reached for my wet/dry beard trimmer (I'm currently clean shaven). I lathered up her pubes and proceeded to trim her to the lowest setting. To make it easier for me, I sat down on the shower floor so that I was at eye level with her pussy. Definitely the most submissive positron I've been with her yet. She never once hesitated to let me trim her, and was patient with me as I was being extra cautious her most sensitive region. Maybe next time she'll leery me shave her clean!

    Finally, after we got out of the shower, I asked her if she enjoyed the extra attention I gave her rosebud. She said that she did, and that it was more arousing than she ever though it would be. I planted a seed by saying that we might have to get her a small plug/vibe designed specifically for newbies. Maybe we'll get matching jeweleed stainless. Thoughts? Comments?
     
  10. Lockedfiancé
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    Lockedfiancé Locked by Mistress U

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    Not sure I'd recommend the jeweled stainless plugs. The round ends are not comfortable between the cheeks. Something more ergonomic would be my recommendation.
     
  11. Andy67
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    My wife is beginning to understand and acknowledge her role in my self-initiated lockup. I've been locked 24/7 for the last 9 days. We've had sex twice during that time; second time I remained locked (self-denied). Tonight while kissing goodnight before bed, I began undressing her. She thought I wanted sex; I told her that even though I was highly aroused, I was simply helping her get ready for bed. As we kissed more passionately, she reached down to caress my equipment and said she needs to be more attentive to me, knowing that I've nearly conquered my masturbation vice (and knows I've got to be horny as hell).

    We went to bed and I layed beside her, with my head below her breast and arm across her body, holding her close. As she always does in this position, she stroked my hair, shoulders, and back. I can't explain why, but I always feel more safe and secure this way than at any other time in my life.

    I told her that I understand she's still trying to sort all of this out, but that her happiness is the main reason I'm doing this. She understands the benefits to me as well, but it's obvious she sees the improvement in how much more attentive, loving, and affectionate a husband I am towards her.

    Given the recent experiences I've had with my wife and the fact she was totally freaked out 5 weeks ago by my suggestion that I wanted (needed) to get a chastity device, she's had plenty of time to see the positive effects in our relationship. At this point in my journey, I can guarantee that she will be ready to be my full-time KH within 2 weeks.

    I'm sure that many men out there have some schedule or ideal date and time that they randomly chose to officially name their wife or SO their KH, but I strongly recommend not to push the situation too quickly. Help educate her on your situation and about chastity in general. Demonstrate to her on a daily basis how attentive and affectionate you'll be. Give her time to absorb and understand it all. Help her understand that she's got nothing to lose and everything to gain. You both do. And your relationship is worth it. I guarantee it; I'm living it now, and our relationship is already better than it's been in years.

    Good luck and God bless.
     
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  12. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Sounds like you have things going according to plan. It will be interesting to see how things progress once your wife has control of the keys.
     
  13. Andy67
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    Spent the last several days trying to get the right combination of parts with my CB-6000S; finally got it right. Decided to wear my cage to the office today. 8+ hours without any discomfort. Woohoo! Coworkers all wondering why I'm in such a good mood. LOL
     
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