Hey CM, I'm Rari. I've been a member for a long time but haven't been active for a while due to 'life' stuff. You might have seen my stuff when Mistress Lucy shared a post about me here. I stopped checking in when my FLR marriage fell apart and I got divorced. Since then after some time in the wilderness, I met Madam Dee and Miss Cindy of the Two Asian Dommes and have been proudly serving them for the last year or so. I felt like a failure in my divorce and chose to hide away, but now that I feel I finally found two Dommes who 'get me', and we've been successful in our D/s dynamic, I hoped to contribute back to the community again. ************************ As a background, I've been in the D/s lifestyle for about 20 years serving various Dommes and Doms over the last two decades. I've introduced girlfriends to FLR with varying success, read books, done courses, been to DomCon, have been in/out of chastity, been cuckolded, and gone through all the kink checklists multiple times over. And yet it's been nothing but constant ups and downs — until recently. In the beginning it was just about kinky sex for me, but soon I realised that it was how I was wired, and I asked myself 'what if I could have a partner who was also my owner?' I realised I didn't just want sexual/physical D/s, but emotional and mental D/s too. For as long as I can remember, there have always been guys who just want kinky sex (and women who just want their money), but then there's also guys who want a genuine connection with Dominant women, whether it's romantic or just in the capacity of being a valued submissive/pet/slave — and women who want the same from men. I know some guys have created amazing femdom relationships, while others feel 'there's no real dominant women', while many others have given up hope completely. I feel lucky to be one of the former. While I respect and love ProDommes, I feel many (but not all!) are simply professionals who offer a service, and the relationship feels as genuine as my 'friendship' with my accountant. While I absolutely respect their profession, I personally wanted a more personal relationship with a dominant woman, rather than just feel like a patient on a gurney. It was less about the money, and more about feeling a real vibe. I really didn't enjoy the feeling of being tolerated or entertained as a slave/sub by a woman who was 'doing it for me' whether for love or money. Hence the breakdown of my marriage and the desire to find a woman who wanted this lifestyle as much as I did. It started with me taking the plunge to put my face on Hinge (vanilla dating app), and put within my profile that I wanted a D/s FLR. I was shocked by how many women actually replied and said they wanted to meet. Then I started writing on Tumblr and met amazing women there before Verizon came along and killed it. But fortunately one of my posts made it to Fetlife where it was widely shared, including by Mistress Lucy who posted it here on CM. Since the breakdown of my marriage, I've been on the path to find genuinely dominant women who are either 'into' the kink lifestyle, or who would be more open minded to it once they were introduced to its concepts. Even if to just validate to myself that they exist, it's possible, and not to listen to the guys who couldn't make it happen and thus declare that it's impossible. I noticed the new generation of Dommes emerging in non-typical places like Insta, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter etc, and that their content was not cliche porn, but amazing, engaging, and genuine stories and moments. Soon, I saw more musical artists, Netflix, films etc celebrating and elevating powerful, sexual Dominant women in mainstream content. And so as I slowly curated a list of amazing sexual, kinky, dominant women who want real life subs and slaves to serve them (and not just their money), I found Miss Cindy and Madam Dee. I just connected with them the best, and sought to empower them to join their sisters online. ************************ In my quest to meet genuine, beautiful, young and powerful Dominant women who actually want a FLR/kinky FLR lifestyle, I was surprised how many 'everyday women' want the same thing many of us 'kinky' men want. And yet I've felt really frustrated and exasperated when I see how men interact with these women, and how they shoot themselves in the foot due to a lack of skill, understanding, or awareness. And then they blame the women! For what it's worth, engaging dominant women is simply not the same as flirting in a bar with typical alpha male behavior. I know because it took me years to actually 'learn the code' (for the use of a better term) of dominant women, and it's basically counter intuitive to how society has programmed men to think about women in our society. I've considered creating a blog/content/course or something similar to help men who want a genuine D/s FLR as opposed to a paid D/s service, but I'm not sure if many guys would care to learn it. A part of me rejoining the community here is to see where others are at, and see whether this would be something people would support or not. So if you made it this far, thanks for reading. I thought I'd reintroduce myself, and say that I'm curious to meet others who feel similarly to me, who know of amazing genuine real Dommes out there, and who might be interested in chatting / engaging with me about the evolution and next generation of FLR/Femdom. Cheers Rari