How have you improved as a man/person?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by LadyBlaze, Jul 4, 2020.

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  1. nvrsaynvr63
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    nvrsaynvr63 Long term member

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    Guys like me are out here, just not as prevalent in the chastity/FLR lifestyle. I also think it's a generational thing. My generation was still taught that you open doors, give up your seat if needed, and a host of other things. The main thing was to treat all women with respect. That part of your “job” as a man was to take care of your wife/girlfriend/family&friends.

    I don't view my being submissive to her as a sign of weakness, I view it as a sign of strength. I'm fully aware of my behavior when I can orgasm as often as I like, its not easy to turn such an important part of your life over to someone. As the saying goes, with great risk come great reward, and this is one of those areas where it is so true. When I finally, really turned myself over to her, the rewards came in spades. She's a strong woman who is totally capable of taking care of herself, yet she loves having me take care of her and being pampered, and I love doing it.

    It also feeds both of our needs as far as kink and BDSM are concerned, I can still be the totally dominant one in bed when she desires that., it doesn't change our dynamic While this might not work for everyone, it works for us, and that's what matters.
     
  2. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    I am sure there are more men like you out there some where, and I hope I will bump into him one because what you are describing is what I am seeking. And when I meet him I will ask him to give me the two things that are most valuable him..

    It is definitely a generational thing and a cultural one. American men are more polite in that way. In Sweden, Europe and Turkey you can hold the door yourself most of the times.
     
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  3. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    I would say it has helped me become more considerate and respectful of @MrsBR_Saiph .
    I'm a selfish self-centered prick by nature, so I will always have room to improve but at least I try.
     
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  4. LockitMan
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    LockitMan Lifestyle service submissive/slave/sissy maid

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    I'm surprised and saddened to hear that about Europeans. I would have thought otherwise. It's a shame, they're so aware on some things compared to the US.
     
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  5. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    Me too. Since then I prefer to date Americans, Canadians and South African men. Huge difference in manners and values. Of course there are great men in outer countries as well but generally speaking.
     
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  6. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    Self awareness is the first step when it comes to improving yourself. Im glad you realized that.
     
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  7. Rodeo cowboy
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    Rodeo cowboy Long term member

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    This last couple of weeks I have been having a shipping problems caused by poor communication/execution. My estimate is the delay and rescheduling of everyone’s time runs into a cost at $100,000 US. I’ve had to reschedule the next 6 weeks of my time and I have had to ask my colleagues to reschedule as well.
    A year ago I would have ripped somebody’s head off. Their is no great sin than to waste someone’s time.
    Today when I tracked down the lady who has been making decisions with out asking questions. I could feel my anger rising.
    Instead I thanked her for her time and efforts. Let her know that everything will be fine. She started crying and told me that she was going through an ugly divorce.

    I say to the Women and the members here I’ve read your posts and your inputs. I am better for it.

    Thank you
     
  8. Abstraction
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    Abstraction Force of nature
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    I like it when men practising chastity/FLR/D-s relationship finally stop hearing only themselves and start hearing others. Sometimes it happens pretty quickly; sometimes it's a long-term goal. But not unachievable - right guys? - not unachievable at all. :)
     
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  9. Miffy
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    Miffy Long term member

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    If you have a srong woman behind you then it's inevitable!-x
     
  10. Abstraction
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    Abstraction Force of nature
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    @Miffy, perhaps. :) And sometimes the strong woman has to force the issue before the peacock-sub realises there's someone else in the room with HIM.
     
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  11. Rodeo cowboy
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    Rodeo cowboy Long term member

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    I humbly agree. Self assessment and reflection are the most difficult things for me.
    I’ve a fair amount of success with a lot of hard work and a bull in the china shop approach. In retrospect could I have been more successful with humility than arrogance?
    I am much happier today for accepting my submissive traits.
     
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  12. Miffy
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    Miffy Long term member

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    I agree-that'll be that force of nature!-
     
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  13. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    The successful FLR/WLM relationships always end up in an improvement I suspect. The female partner is empowered, given more self-confidence, real independence, and the chance for more sexual satisfaction. The man gets protection, love, and lots of constructive guidance in self-improvement. The key for me is total submission; I certainly have opinions and am allowed to express them. But thats it- I rely on my wife to make decisions that benefit US, not me. My wife has absolute total control and there is no topping from the bottom whatsoever. It's based on trust, honesty, and love.

    This means for us men we may not get all the kink we were hoping for.. But then sometimes we may get more than we expected. But when we understand that it is not about us, but about service and devotion, any little bit we get is amazing and we are fully satisfied.

    Women are magical creatures and I've grown to absolutely adore mine. I am the luckiest man alive that she has taken on me as her submissive.
     
  14. LockitMan
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    LockitMan Lifestyle service submissive/slave/sissy maid

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    That's is so sad and so wrong Ma'am. The men on the street should have been falling over themselves rushing to help you. I do smile though when I picture that nice fellow pushing you along seated on your scooter, perhaps making motor sounds as he pushed. Vrrrooom! ; )
     
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  15. Rodeo cowboy
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    Rodeo cowboy Long term member

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    Unfortunately, I agree with this. I resemble this occasionally.
     
  16. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    Oh I wish!! It is definitely one of the moments I will remember because I felt so feminine and cared for. I wish he would have made that sound! :D
     
  17. billzboats
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    billzboats 63rd birthday

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    Well said
     
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  18. MRS.Lilith
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    MRS.Lilith Kitchen Mistress
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    Well this is really painting things with a broad brush. My husband is just as well mannered as the men described above, and I have often been treated that way by other men too and we're Europeans too.
     
  19. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    I didn't say that European men cannot be gentlemen. But I have found by MY experience in dating that American and Canadian men are more polite and more well mannered than European men. They have a totally different dating culture than us European does. But a Dutch or British guy is more well mannered than a Scandinavian one. I was fortunate as well to study couples from different countries and how they behaved. A part of this also depends on how the women are acting in these countries. Again, this is my experience and my observations.
     
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  20. MRS.Lilith
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    MRS.Lilith Kitchen Mistress
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    That was clear from your writing, but I didn't quote you.
     
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  21. Rodeo cowboy
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    Rodeo cowboy Long term member

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    Well I’m concluding from my sample size of n=1 that I’m a pretty good guy.
     
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  22. LockitMan
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    LockitMan Lifestyle service submissive/slave/sissy maid

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    I picture you sitting with head held high, back straight and looking so regal with an oh so pretty smile upon your face as you're pushed down the street on your very own slave powered scooter.
    Vroom vroom. ; )
     
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  23. Guest 0837
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    Guest 0837 Long term member

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    Everything is our way of thinking..
    By the time We are teenagers, it is fine, but after that age the difference between man and WOMAN starts to show.
    If We start from school, we boys were punished in front of GIRLS for not doing homework every day and if they do the same then they were not get punished.
    i thought i had a penis, that's why it happened to me.
    When we were in college, GIRL'S bus passes were made free and we boys had to take passes with money.
    i thought this was happening because i had a penis.
    Then when the job started, there was a local train of subway type in that city.
    i was late for office in one day but a train arrived at the right time. But i could not catch it because it was a LADIES special train. men are not allowed in that train.
    i got scolded in the office. And i again felt that everything is happening because i own a penis.
    Then went to Delhi in February and it was all free for the WOMEN also in the bus.
    The list of facilities available to WOMEN is very long and that started making me frustrated.
    i talked to my girlfriend on this, that you WOMEN get more convenience, yet why do YOU keep cursing men mostly?
    SHE said men are not changing thier thinking either so they are pleasing us by giving these secondary facilities. men thinks us as an object or a hole only. and SHE was right, the way men are thinking is completely opposite of what reality is. that day i understood, why i am not getting all this facility.
    Not because i have penis. But because i don't have VAGINA. i started thinking in the way of WOMEN and i found how close WOMEN are to being a perfect human. WOMEN can give birth, WOMEN are more social. WOMEN have more emotions. WOMEN are better in studies and most of the things, THEIR body gets purified every month. THEY don't have to prove THEIRSELVES to men. On the other hand man is completely dependent on WOMEN. How does he treat WOMEN, he respects WOMEN or not, how much he cares, these things make a man eligible to live in a society. men are reserved and limited to WOMEN only.The reality is men are far inferior to WOMEN. but men don't know their limits. WOMEN needs to show men their place. men should be shown their place by chastity cage and that gives exect deserving power to WOMEN. WOMEN becomes more free, gets more satisfection, becomes more independent. On other hand men starts knowing their place and becomes more loving, obedient and caring.
    We also moved towards FLR and We both are more happy now. I too feel more energetic then before on other hand my GF(MISTRESS) whom i am going to marry soon is also very satisfied, became more confident, get empowered, flourished leading nature, became more dominant.
    Considering chastity not as a kink only but practically every men should be in a cage.
     
  24. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Long term member

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    I don't think I can honestly say at this early stage whether or not I have improved as a man/person, however I am trying. This is possibly "topping from the bottom" at the moment as I am trying to get her to have more participation in our sex life and be more confident in her own sexual pleasure, but am doing so at her own pace without trying to push some sort of agenda.

    Things like
    - making sure dinner is on and kitchen is tidy when she gets home from work (I normally only get home 10-30 mins before her so isn't guaranteed but normally occurs).
    - being more attentive to her. Brief kisses (pecks) that were common before leaving for work and before she heads to bed replaced with meaningful embraces and frequent kisses / cuddling (although timing is everything and I am careful not to overdo this).
    - General attentiveness to her, whether its reading her mood and guiding my actions by that, active listening when she talks and encouraging openness
    - Offering "her only" sessions without the expectation (or even the request) of my own gratification.

    She has started to wet her appetite when it comes to tease / denial and other than concern for the physical well being of my penis/testicles seems happy enough to engage at a pace that she is comfortable with.

    I don't expect us to go down the full "FLR" route, but if I can make her life a little bit easier giving her time to concentrate on the things she wants to do rather than the things that have to be done, then all well and good.
     
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  25. LadyBlaze
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    LadyBlaze Queen of Everything
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    Your answers (and most answers in this thread) has more to do with you living out your desires and your FLR relationship than acquiring a new skill, breaking a negative habit, change of mindset by example.
    To give you some more concrete examples..
    Has anyone of you, taken any any courses to improve yourself in any way, have your Mistress inspired and coached you to become more organized, healthier, stop smoking, be punctual etc? How have you improved as a man? Not as a sub, not your relationship, but you as a person.
     
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